November 19, 2005

I have been thinking alot about the problems with face with our own spirituality. I think God has in fact pointed out, that the things that weigh so heavily on our hearts will never be a problem of our past until we reach Heaven. Whether it be struggling with staying on fire for God, or striving to love instead of judging, I think these struggles will never be something we simply look back on and realized we've overcome. I do wonder if I am wrong in this thought, and if I am, and God does grant us the ability to truly be rid of these sorts of struggles in our lifetime, then I am more the grateful. Either way, I think both hinge on our faith and ability to trust God to get us through and endure it.

However, speaking of things weighing on hearts, the topic of accepting people has been a heavy matter to me as of late. All of us have our areas of society we tend to judge. For me, this appears very regularly in a college atmosphere. I have a tendency to really dislike those that indulge in the "college lifestyle", so to speak. But I know that God has called me to be accepting of all people, and I know now that He's showing me that in order to truly love Him, I have to get past my hang-ups about people that wear greek letters or the people that constantly condemn me for my beliefs. It is perhaps the largest struggle I've faced in my entire life, and at this point, I'm sure that without Him, I'd not be able to face it. It is only through God that I know this burden can be lessened, if not overcome entirely. I have noticed that the more I accept Him and let Him move me, how easier it is to get to know people for who they really are and not for how they sometimes live. After all, none of us look like good people all the time, or even a majority. But to trust that God can get us past our petty outward differences to the love that lies beneath is a genuine love story, one that every person on the planet can take part in, if they wish. That alone brings me back to my knees somedays.

Are there many of us that nurture our calling from God? If He gives us a gift, are we strengthening it through Him and ourselves, so that we may serve Him with the tools He gave us? Or do we let our gifts and talents gather dust in the corner until we feel we're ready to pick them up again?