November 21, 2005

So it was one of those days when bitterness without fail, tried to take my mind away from me. It was on the verge of succeeding, as well.

I was actually thinking and asking God how followers of His word and way can at the same time be bitter and angry sometimes, when I realized two things at once.

We're still human. I mean, walking this different path, maybe we sometimes forget that we're still succeptable to human emotions, but I guess it just makes us all the more prone to them.

I got into all this bitter sentiment about a few insignificant things, and I basically ran with it, and when I was asking Him about it, I guess He kind of opened my eyes about it. Like magic, that feeling was gone in an instant, and He basically showed me that I have NO reason not to be joyful about my life. But to have something so overwhelmingly powerful hit you between the eyes can assuredly knock you on your butt, like it did to me tonight. All I could do was simply tell God how amazing He is to act in a life such a mess as my own. He never ceases to amaze me, and just as I start to question Him, He shows me why I didn't question yesterday.

I think God showed me today that trying to force His will into working faster is not going to work by any means at all. Trying to make His work easier in our lives for Him is charity He doesn't really need, I think. I found this out the hard way, by this onset of bitterness before the realization. Not punishment from Him, really, just me trying to get ahead of Him and falling on my face. I believe that's called a humbling experience. Trying to take control of circumstances ahead of God just doesn't work, I think.

To follow up from yesterday:

If we manage to love those that annoy us personally, how about the opposite situation? Christ loved the Pharisees that thought themselves wiser than Him, so what do we do about those that would think themselves better than us in our walk? Do we do our best to prove them wrong? Argue with them? Be the better man? Or do we simply love them with all we have, despite the consequences? Is giving up the pride for something greater really giving up anything at all?