November 22, 2005

So I find that if you pray for a cup of patience, God will almost certainly show you a well full of it, more than you can use in a day or a week, or even a lifetime.

I say this in regards to working retail, moreoever grocery retail, two days before Thanksgiving. To do this is the depths of certain death at the hands of merchants.

After two years of this, I kind of saw it coming. So this time I found a quiet spot and silently prayed to God for the patience to not get stressed out and blow up at those around me, as has happened on holidays before. Before I knew it, I was having FUN tonight at work, even. Two days before a major holiday. This can be attributed only to God, that I didn't freak out or worry on end about getting things done, despite the fact that there was more than usual, even, that had to be done.

On another note, I realized earlier that today marks one month at this, and I have to say, I do notice how far God has brought me in only one month's time. A month ago yesterday, I was feeling lost and lonely in my walk with God, that somewhere along the way, we had taken different forks in the road. To think that in one month,not only has He built a path between the forks for me to walk back to Him, but also started to show me how far we can go on the path together now that I'm back to Him astounds me. In one month. I cannot fathom what He can show me in one year, or two, or three. To think I have a lifetime ahead of me to learn from God is something that still escapes my rationalization. But then again, maybe it's supposed to.

Here's a big thing that's disappeared in my life over the past few years that I feel God has brought back to me this year, in my growth in Him. That is the Christmas spirit. I have felt as if Christmas didn't exist the past couple of years, due to my rushing, working, and ignorance of the time of year. This year, I feel that God has opened my eyes to the beauty of this season, and I finally feel like a kid again in my excitement. It FEELS like Christmas time, thank God.

On another note, I realized tonight at work that the people that drove me nuts in aggrivation two months ago are now becoming friends to me, in the idea that in God's love, I am liking these people now. Through love, I am beginning to like, and as backwards as that seems, it makes beautiful sense all at once, when I think about it. God works in mysterious, awe-inspiring ways, indeed.

How many of us go from day to day, telling others of our acts of bravery, charity, or good-will? How many of us go along only sharing it with God? Though the Bible tells us only to tell God of our charitable acts, how many of us actually keep them secret and anonymous? Do we defeat ourselves daily or do we let only God know what we are capable of?