November 30, 2005

God is love.

That is a term I hear so often, yet think about in much depth very little.

Tonight I think in a conversation with a friend, I may have finally gotten it into my head for the first time. This friend is feeling at odds with God right now, and does not want to be a part of Christianity. As we talked, I realized something about God for the first time in my life. He isn't the wrathful, vengeful God we sometimes think of, that might try to dupe us into things. He wants only for us to be willing to love like He does, and if we're willing to try it, He's willing to pour an infinite amount out on us, to keep us going.

To realize that God IS love is changing my heart, I think. To know that there is an infinite amount of love that can be poured through me, in spite of what I COULD feel towards people is really enough in my head and heart to keep me wanting to love.

I've watched friendships reform and rebond over the last few days, and in watching them, I know I'm watching God at work. In seeing how all of my school has fallen into place at the exact moment it needed to, I realize it's no fault of mine that this occured. The chance realization of a job interview at the time when it occured cannot be due to me, with all the events and occurances that happened in their particular order, and also with my current employment and the way it's working out.

The road trip I'm embarking on soon excites me to no end. To literally leave the destination up to God makes me a giddy little kid, and the thoughts of where we could be led in a few days' time is astounding to me. This is the first real adventure I've ever been on, and I know that I have the best guide at the head of the pack, and it is incredible.

A question I posed earlier:

Is the thought that the most beautiful, intelligent, wisest mind in and out of creation could map out our lives for us not worth giving up on what WE think our lives would be best suited for and with?