October 22, 2005

I realized as I start this journal for keeping track of everything and sharing it that there will be various opinions. The foremost being that at times I will sound petty and small-scale in the things that I see God in. To this I have to say that I am not in this to look for a miracle on any large scale. This journal is simply to see God in as much as possible, and to relate it in any form. I am human, and at times, my journal will seem depressed, overjoyed, in awe, sad, or any other number of human emotions. The focus I have to point out is not me, but God. My publicity is of no consequence, but God's is of the utmost. Having said that, I can begin with this journey, which I'm sure will prove to be incredible, for the next 365 days.

I felt like to get this journey off on the right foot, I needed some inspiration . I found this in the form of a book many of you know very well, called "Blue Like Jazz" by Don Miller. No doubt as I write, you will see how this book is impacting me and this journey itself. Onto the start of this...

This morning I decided to start this journey off by picking up my copy of "Blue Like Jazz" and maybe a good cd to help me start feeling this out. Lately I've been listening to alot of mixed music, from Mae and Copeland all the way out to The Chariot and other really hard stuff that would make young children cry.

Last night I ran into a problem with money. I realized that this was a book I needed to have (and by needed I mean absolutely couldn't live without in the strictest sense) in my collection. I also realized that monthly bills had killed any money I had set aside for this. Going to bed last night, I saw something I had forgotten about, which was a little gift certicate that a local christian bookstore had sent me for being a frequent customer. You see, God acts and shows you things you forget, when you least think it will occur.

Being on a spiritual high means that almost literally, you see God in everything that happens, which coincidentally, is not untrue at all. This morning felt absolutely amazing, with a breeze that easily allows you to open up every window you can find and get ahold of. Leaving the house to head out, this included every window in my car, even for the duration of the interstate.

After finding what I needed (my book and a decent cd at best buy), I set off to return home. For the first time in awhile though, I realized that God will act in tiny little ways that will astound you if you truly notice them, like the man that backed up a line of traffic in his car so that I could make a turn out of a parking lot. It's truly amazing.

On the way home, I decided to look for a spot. By a spot, I mean this: I want a serene, peaceful spot nearby where I can just go with whatever God feels necessary, and be alone with God, whenever it's available or needed. Nature is one thing of God's that is disappearing far too quickly, one thing that is truly underappreciated. That being said, today was apparently not the day to find the spot. God has put it on my heart to find this place away from the busy job and busy school, so I know He'll lead me to it, when it's time.

Would you instantly drop out of school if God told you that was what He wanted of you? Would you move across two, or ten states? Would you give up your car, your cell phone? What would you be willing to do for faith?