October 25, 2005

Today, I thought I would run into my first problem with this journal. My day seemed like it'd be uneventful. I should always know better. Since I've thought about starting this, I've realized that no day is ever uneventful, simply because God doesn't let that happen in life. If we say a day is uneventful, we're just not paying enough attention.

I made it to church on time, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, none of my regular church friends were there. By that I mean the ones that a person talks to when they're supposed to be paying attention to the sermon or the gospel lesson for any given Sunday morning. This gave me a chance to realize one thing today. There is no such thing as a coincidence. They don't exist. But for the first time, maybe ever, I really listened to and prayed the Lord's prayer. It's weird how you can realize how powerful something like that can be when you actually HEAR it and don't just listen to it.

Following this, I spent 5 hours at work this afternoon. Like I said yesterday, the tiny things are still miracles. I was down to very little money left today and starving, and I walked by one of the hot food areas of where I work, and for some reason one of the absolutely amazing ladies that works there asked if I wanted some of the leftover stuff from lunch. She wouldn't even take the money I had to pay for it. God always gives you enough to keep you going, without fail.

On the way home, I think I might have found my spot by complete accident. I was driving and looked over and saw the most amazing sunset I have seen in some time. I rushed home, grabbed the camera, and rushed back out to catch it. I was just in time, and as it got dark, I looked around. This field was amazing at night. It is peaceful and the perfect temperature and comfortable. Maybe the spot has been found as quickly as this.

One thing I've given thought to alot lately, in my mental journey, is the topic of the opposite sex. Many ideas are present to us today as teenagers and young adults, in the secular and christian schools of thought. Obviously the secular school tells us that we are supposed to have sex as much as possible as long as we practice safe sex. The Christian school of thought tells us to wait for marriage. Secular dating expects us to act impulsively and be wild. Christian dating expects us to be many things, many conflicting. What I've basically come to is that dating is not really an issue for me anymore. I'm not looking for a good girlfriend, I'm looking instead for the woman that I can see spending the rest of my life with. I think that God doesn't intend for me to get into a relationship that I can see any possible end to. I've been giving alot of thought of how that impacts me now, and I feel like I'll have to give it much more thought before I can come to a reasonable conclusion. Prayer is certainly needed. Maybe once I figure out what God wants of me, I'll know what he wants me to have in a woman.

What do you think Christ intends for our lives? Is it sucess in a job? 2.5 children? Donating our paychecks to the church? What is the human life about?