October 28, 2005

I think I'll talk about Satan for a bit.

If you stand back and watch, you'll notice alot of things. This includes stepping out of your own life and watching it. The devil never works harder than when you have decided to work hard for God. Life at once seems to want to anger you more, frustrate you and lash out at the people you love, when you know more than ever you should be showing them infinite compassion and the love that Christ would show us.

I know that's been said before, and heard many times, but I've never noticed it so much as today. Alot of thought and prayer has gone into the job I hold, as of late. Today I walked in to find that I have to work for four days in a row, including Sunday. He starts to poke a little bit at you. The manager working with me tonight disappears for awhile, to talk on the phone. He slaps you in the face and taunts you to slap back. Your business grows out of control and you get three hours behind schedule. He stands right in front of you and tells you to get angry and denounce this, as it is surely God frowning on you today. It is far easier to just accept it and give up, exhausted.

I stopped.

For God to show you that Satan is trying as hard as you are for God is an eye-opener. The events just seem so ordinary that we feel there is nothing beyond the surface. How wrong could we be?

I wish I could say I listened to God just in time to avoid being short or somewhat foul to a few friends that work with me. I didn't.

Part of growing, I think is realizing how we don't listen. It was certainly true tonight.

I was discussing mysteries of faith tonight, with a friend. I said at one point that thinking about the idea of eternity is quite a thought to wrap your head around. She said that was an understatement.

I have decided, I think that the mysteries that once scared me have become more subtle interests to me. I can only believe that God has made it obvious to me that this is because I will never understand it in this life, and that when He reveals these things to me, it will be ok anyway.

I had an interesting thought tonight, assisted by a new friend. I was previously thinking about my worries on how my life would turn out, and what if it wasn't like I was thinking it would be. The real question is out of God and me, who has the bigger brain? I am pretty certain at this point that the one of us that created the universe and everything in it knows whether or not if I need to make a certain salary or meet a certain person. Hint: I'm not the correct answer in this scenario.

How much do the lifestyles of others affect how we treat them? How about how we truly think of them, when they can't see us? Is Christ eating with the tax collectors any different a concept than us treating a gay man or wiccan with love? Would Christ be watching the parade with love in His eyes, or would He be the one standing outside, holding the sign with the slur on it?

"And by the way you brought me here,
it makes me believe the best is still yet to come and I don't want to leave.
Forgive my hesitation but I'm learning to trust in you.
Help me to dream these dreams because I don't have a clue."