Shattered Vows (sidebar)

PT: What is the single most important thing you want people to know about infidelity?

HEM: Boundaries. That it is possible to love somebody else, to be attracted to somebody else, even if you have a good marriage. In this collegial world where we work together, you have to conduct yourself by being aware of appropriate boundaries, by not creating opportunities, particularly at a time when you might be vulnerable.

That means that if you travel together, you never invite someone for a drink in the room; if you just had a fight with your spouse, you don't discuss it with a potential partner.

You can have a friendship, but you have to be careful who you share vour deepest feelings with. Although women share their deep feelings with lots of peoole, particularly other women, men are usually most comfortable sharing their feelings in a love relationship. As a result, when a relationship becomes intimate and emotional, men tend to sexualize it.



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