CHARLIE'S STORY

Ann Wong

"Charlie," tears sprinkling from Sally's eyes as she sobbed, "I am going to marry the finest man on Earth! He is a trillionaire with a body like Premier Bennett; an acquiring mind like Dr. Frankinstein, and a heart of a nun. I tell you he loves to vaccum, bake fresh pasteries, wash the toilets, preach at church, and he even has his own composting bin. Oh! What more could i ask for...except... never mind. It's nothing. Charlie, I love this gentleman who has swept me away like willows in the wind. He is THE sweetest guy i have ever met. He listens to my every word as if they were from the Bible and he ponders my words of wisdom. I remember a time when we were talking about what the meaning of life was to a tree and i replied knowingly, it was in their nature to become wood for us. He gayly announced that was the deepest thing he has ever heard. Of course, we also share happy days where he would just laugh at me uncontrolablly.

"It is good to know that one appreciates my humour. By the way, i better tell you his name instead of referring to him as 'he'. He does have a name you know," said Sally as she nodded to me with that annoying i-know-it-all look.

Personnally I don't care if you call him a cow or wow. Well, at least the tears have evaporated like an exponential function with every increase of bragging of this so-called impossible man. I wondered silently to myself.

"Ginko is his name O", interupted cheerily Miss. Sally.

"Dr. Ginko, oh what a doctor! Charlie, do you need a personal check up? He is very thorough. That's how we met. (Sigh) I will never forget the first day we meet in the examination room with the lights dimmed. Him, in his lab coat as sharp as the razor blade he was holding. That gleam in his eyes, the puckered lips of blood red, the latex snugged in his massive hands... all the right ingredients for a perfect date. Well, of course it wasn't really a date, because he was only looking me over to make sure I was fine but boy! do i feel FINE. He said I was in great shape for my age and that sweetie pie even teased me about looking like 16. (long pause)

Charlie, it's not all rosy like cherry blossoms."

And wham, the lady(not really a lady) burst into water hosing tears. Damned woman, you are making me all wet, and this is so embarrassing, the other train passengers are turning their heads. Great! now they think I am some kind of abusive husband who's got no sensitive side.

"Charlie, Ginko can delivery babies but he can't make them. Do you know what i mean?"

© Copyright 1998 Writer's Very Limited

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