Greetings, Mr Web Browser. I am being Professor Edward Geyersburg, and I have the honour to be the current President of Austin College, since my inauguration in 1899, and I am proud to be welcoming you to the Austin College home page.

      I am hoping that you are applying to Austin College as we really are one of a kind in this city of Oxford. As I look from my window at the sledges coasting through the summer sun and the wolves and bears prowling around I wonder whether the sort of knowledge we are providing really helps, but then I remember that I am President of Austin College, the College whose work has, more than any other, done so much to show the dangers of ignorance, and I begin to feel proud again.

      Do consider applying to Austin when you make your Oxford application, and be happy and enjoy your life as you coast through the streets made of nine foot tall dead lamp-posts and enjoy the fish that swim in the air and the...

UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE UNABLE TO BRING YOU ANY MORE OF THE PRESIDENT'S WELCOMING REMARKS. THIS IS A PROBLEM BEYOND OUR CONTROL WHICH WE ASSURE YOU WILL BE FIXED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. NEXT ELECTION, IN FACT.