Chapter 10

This I Promise You

    Slowly Mark got up and went home. He felt that he had lost everything in the last hour, everything that was important for him. He didn't take her into his arms, he didn't try to take the pain away. Vindictively he kicked a stone laying on the road, but this didn't make it better.

    At home he tried to call Brianna, but she didn't answer the phone. Emily told him that she was in her room, crying all the time.

   "But I need to talk to her!" Mark almost whined, but Em couldn't do anything.

    So the boy decided to go to the girl's house. He wanted to excuse his stupid behaviour and embrace the intimidated girl, show his support and his love.

* * * * *

    Softly Mark knocked the door.

    "Brianna? Are you there?" Of course she was, he could hear her crying. But he asked to assure himself. Slowly he started singing.

    "How can I say that I love you when you're so far away. So tell my why you had to go? What can I do to make you see, that I am here, here for you..."

    Brianna slammed the door open, looking at him furiously and exasperated. Mark didn't let her interrupt him singing. "How can I put into words what I feel..."
The boy stopped and looked down on the ground.

    "Why haven't you told me before?"

    The girl gasped for air.

    "Told you before? I wasn't even sure if you are serious about me! Why not telling everybody? What about this? Don't you care about what I feel? Don't you see the hurt and pain I've been through? No, you don't!" she cried, bitterly.

    He noticed her pale face with embarrassment. His voice trembled: "I am sorry...I didn't know. I was a fool...I didn't know how to cope with that..." Timidly he touched her hands, conceiling his questioning thoughts. Now she seemed to be so small, so vulnerable and Mark couldn't do anything to help her.

    Suddenly, overwhelmed by hate and anger, he stood up: "I'll get him for that, I promise!"

    "Mark!" Brianna screamed, crying. "Mark!" once again she called the boy who got into temper.

    "No, please...He'll kill you...He tried before...Hannah was the first...You might be the next! I don't wanna lose yo..." the girl sobbed. "This is not your turn."

    "But, I...I...I wanna help you..."

    "You can't help me this time. I have to cope with that...Not you...Mark, please..." She grasped at him, pale and strained. "I can't go on this way, maybe it would be better to end this between you and me. There's nothing..."

    Now it was Mark who gasped for air.

    "Don't say that it's over, it hasn't even started yet...Just ask the lonely when you think you can make it all alone, remember noone's big enough to go it all alone...Why are you so damn frightened to let your feeling show? Tryin' escape the heartache, tryin' escape emotion? Is this the way you want it to be? "

    Immediately he regretted his words. Brianna stared at him, she was quiet, no crying, no sobbing, nothing. But he was right, the girl had tried to escape her own feelings. She tried to be different from the person she really was. Slowly she went backwards, and dropped onto her bed. Mark followed her, timidly.

    "Why must I always fake it..." Brianna whined quietly.

    "Shhhh..." Mark tried to calm her down, but without success.

    "Mark...I am sorry...I...I..." she didn't managed to go on.

    "You touched my heart in ways that words can never say..." Mark started singing to soothe the girl.

    "I know you're afraid to let your feelings show, And I understand, but girl, it's time to let go."

    She flung her arms around his neck and he held her close. More that five minutes they stood close together, then Mark moved. He touched her chin, her cheeks, her lips.

    Brianna closed her eyes, and the boy kissed her. She felt a devil of a lot affection, more that she ever felt before. This felt so sincere, she couldn't denie the overwhelming temtation anymore.

    Mark continued singing with his gorgeous voice, soft and almost whispering.

    "All I am, all I'll be, everything in this world, all that I'll ever need is in your eyes shining at me. In my world, before you, I lived outside my emotions, didn't know where I was going, 'til that day I found you. How you opened my life to a new paradise, in a world torn by change, still with all my life..."

    Brianna glared at the black-haired boy. His blue eyes were shining at her.

    "See...a little smile would light my life...you gotta listen to your heart and not your mind...That's is what I feel, what I want to become reality..."

    Mark interrupted himself: "But I don't wanna move on too fast...I just wanted you to know!"

    The blond girl smiled and said: "Loneliness has always been a friend of mine, and I don't want this anymore..." She stumbled a bit.

    "I know that I can trust you!"