Seasons In The Sun
Chapter 13:Mark
I don't wanna have to try to live without you in my life.
I arrived home. I can barely even bring myself to call it home. Home is a word you associate with warmth and comfort, but I find no comfort now as I look around and a literal wave of memories threatens to drown me. I sat down and put my head in my hands, and started to cry. Cry like I haven't cried since I was a child. I needed an outlet for all this emotion, all this uglyness in my head. Soon I was exhaused from my tears and stumbled into our room. I had no intention of sleeping in our bed, I just wanted a shirt to sleep in. That's when I found it. Just like every other time I'd come home she had a present for me. Only this time her happy smile and glowing eyes didn't accompany it. A scan picture. Looking at the barely distinguishable form in the picture I know that this is my child.
I couldn't stop the tears starting again. Who was I trying to kid? I couldn't be without her. I couldn't hate her if I tried. I began to see it as it was, a drunken mistake led by Kian's intense jealousy. I hurried out the front door en route to Bryan's, clutching the picture. I couldn't wait to show him our baby's first picture.
The sight that awaited me at Bryan's almost broke my heart again. Nicola was in the living room, in Bryan's arms. I couldn't stop the words from bursting from me. "What is going on here?" She saw me then. Her eyes were bright with tears. "Mark, come in, Bryan has something to tell you..." I sat down on the sofa, knowing that what was going to be said would bring more pain, but I didn't expect what came. Bryan looked at me, his own eyes red and puffy, "Mark... I'm dying. I've got leukaemia, and there's nothing they can do." I broke down. It was a night of tears. Bryan couldn't hold them back and I had no right to sit there and expect sympathy for this shock. Bryan hadn't got long to live. I moved over to sit beside him, I put an arm around his shoulders, I hated to ask but I had to, "Bryan, how long?" "About a year." Oh God, oh God no, this man who'd been my big brother for eleven years, and soon, he'd be gone. How could I fail to realise how fragile life was, that moments were to be cherished, not forgotten. Every day should be lived in happiness instead of bitterness. I noticed Nicola leave and decided she'd gone to ring the others. Less than five minutes passed when the front door banged open and Shane flew in flung his arms around Bryan, sobbing, telling him he should have told us. Nicky and Georgina arrived shortly later, followed by Kian. I can't tell you how Nicola felt when she stumbled upon his secret, so I'll let her tell you.