Seasons In The Sun

Chapter 25

Goodbye to you my trusted friend...

I knew her for fifteen years...the fifteen years she spent with Mark, yet I know nothing of the pain he must feel on this day, they day we put her in the ground. I valued her friendship as much as my relationship with Nicky, and needless to say I'm devastated to see her before me, looking so at peace that nothing will ever disturb her, but as I look at the ghost of my old friend Mark, I can only imagine what's going on in his head, what he must feel. I can feel it when I imagine it's my Nicky. I see little Missy standing there beside him, almost too aware of what's going on, considering she's only eight. she's silent, it's almost as if she knows she'll never see her mam again. Nicola, you'll be dearly missed, by me, by the most special people in your life, your eternally devoted husband, your soulmate and your child. Where you found your special thing.

I can feel Georgina seeing this from her perspective, on the day she buries me. I see Mark, and the pain I feel seeing Nicola like this is nothing more than a faint echo of the torture that radiates from Mark. To see Georgina like that would kill me, Mark is incredibly brave standing there, holding himself together for the sake of Missy. I've known Nicola as long as Mark has, but he knew her better than she knew herself, and she knew him like no other. It even said in her will, "I won't ask Mark to remarry, because I know he won't, and that it would offend him if I did, he won't believe there is a replacement for me, just as I know there's no one out there who could have replaced him." These two really were one, soulmates of the best kind. We'll never forget you Nicola, there's no possible way we could. We already have started our Breast cancer fund, and the next single 'Moments' will all go to it. It's for you, and you alone.

When I first saw them together, I knew it was forever, they just had that look. Two halves of one whole. I was overjoyed for Mark, who'd always needed someone to lean on, and to find your soulmate so early in life was rare. I loved her, though not in the way of my best friend, standing beside me, holding all his emotion inside. No one else can see beneath the surface of his brave face, they can feel his emotion, but not with the force I do. They'll never see him let go like I know I will later when Missy isn't there. If it wasn't for her... I think I'd be desperately trying to stop him following her. Missy is the only thing that's stopping him. Please God don't take Mark away from her, she needs him, I know their love was special, but don't destroy Missy to reunite them. Not yet

I've known Nicola fifteen years, even now it doesn't seem real that she's gone. I didn't know her as well as Georgina, but it still breaks my heart to know that I'll never see her again, and to see Mark and Missy like this is more terrible than can be described. She made Mark's life complete, and she's left him with a purpose, to make sure her child knows how wonderful she was. There was a love there like nothing I've ever seen, and I know that one day they will be reunited.

Mommy I dont really know were you are, but daddy says you cant come back and I beleve him. Shane says uncle Bryan came and took you away. Did he? Was he lonely? Why couldnt he take one of his other friends? I miss you mommy, you know that dont you?

Love Michelle Melissa

 

The guilt I felt when I almost split them up has come back tenfold. If only they hadn't lost those few months maybe... I don't know. I really did love her, despite what Mark says. It's broken us all to see two of our dearest friends leave us in the space of a few years, and if it's even possible, I'll miss her more than Bryan. I know my sympathy is the last thing Mark wants but he has it anyway, he's like my brother, and who knows, maybe some day he'll forgive me like he did her, though she deserved his forgiveness, it wasn't her fault I took advantage of her, I'll miss you Nicola, there's nothing more I can say that will express it better.

My soulmate. My life. My only. You always said that I said it best when I said nothing at all. you already know I miss you, and that I feel I can't live without you. That's why you left that letter. Someday I will see you again and I can't wait for that day. I know that Shane is beside me now thinking that I'll try to follow you, that the only thing holding me back is Missy . That's not true, even if she wasn't here I know that you wouldn't want me to die. Even though you want me with you, you want me to live. Right now I feel I can't live without you, but you're not completely gone, apart from the fact I can feel your spirit looking over my shoulder reading this, you've left a piece of you behind - Michelle Melissa. There have been times these last few days I wanted to give

up, and it's her that keep me going. Missy is you looking at me. Shane has been great, and I can see Kian's guilt written all over his face. He thinks I'll never forgive him, but I already have. Love is an incredibly powerful weapon, and I know what drove him to do it. My soulmate, you made me complete, before Davina McCall dragged you into my life I'd always felt there was something missing. I found it in your eyes, and in the face of this child of ours with me now, even at a young age she seems to know and understand. To have that childish innocence, the ability to understand the cruelty of the world. She's handling it better than I am. I don't know how long I can hold back the tears. You were right, there is no replacement for you, and I'm not even going to try, she could never live up to you, I wouldn't do that to your memory. That sort of love comes only once in a lifetime, if even that. Every day you were here I let you know what you meant to me, what our time meant, and you always let me know that I was your everything. I thank you for the time we shared, for making my life complete, for honouring those vows to the letter. I know that you're not alone where you are now, Bryan's there helping you through, we'll be together someday again my love, until then, I'll do my best, and this child of ours will never forget you, she will grow up knowing how special you were, and you'll be there, watching us. Give our love to Bryan.

Your soulmate,

Mark

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