Seasons In The Sun

Chapter 7: Nicola

You're the place my life begins and you'll be where it ends...

The day I've been planning for all my life has arrived. The day I've waited for since I met Mark. The day my life will finally begin. My wedding day. The sixth of June 2009. For three months Georgina, Gemma and I have been constantly planning, arranging and booking, making sure every little detail was perfect. The only thing that can go wrong now is "Speak now or forever hold your peace." I'm worried sick about Kian.

I knew Kian was on a slow burn. He had been ever since that night. Well, not quite. He had seemed guilty for a few weeks, before I saw that burning desire in his eyes again. I didn't know what to do. I shouldn't have lied to Mark in the first place, then I wouldn't be in this mess. I'd probably be back in Northern Ireland, scraping my life back together. I told myself that what Mark didn't know couldn't hurt him, but the more I lived with it, the more I knew that Kian wouldn't keep it to himself forever. I just hoped than when he lashed out the casualties wouldn't be too severe. I hated him for always being a threat to our happiness. I tried to push the memory of what we'd done to the back of my mind and concentrate on my wedding day. Georgina arrived early, with reports that Mark was a nervous wreck, he'd been running around since the crack of dawn "like a headless chicken". I laughed at the image it brought to me, and asked how Shane was coping, "He says it's the worst he's ever seen him, but he'll survive." I had no doubt he would. I took a long hot shower, while Georgina started breakfast. I was just drying off when I heard Gemma arrive, her excited voice carried upstairs, reminding us that we had a beautician's appointment in half an hour. I hurried downstairs in Jeans and a button shirt, do avoid damage to make up and hair. We talked all through breakfast, disussing what a fantastic time we were going to have. We were having a traditional wedding. But the reception was not to be wedding style at all, we just wanted to have a good time. We'd arranged a karioke, and just to let everyone let their hair down. Mark had invited some friends of ours in the business, and with the exception of some drunken relatives, we were sure the music would be very entertaining. We discussed what we would sing. Georgina was set on Whitney Houston, My love is your love, Gemma wanted to sing Britney Spears, Born to make you happy. I told them they'd have to wait and see. We hurried out the door to the beautician, where she transformed all three of us, she didn't make me up dramatically, it was subtle and it made me look so young and innocent. I was far from innocent. I already suspected I was pregnant, I was two weeks late. I smiled to myself to think of Mark's face when I would finally tell him. He'd told me many times he wanted a big family, and I wasn't going to tell him until I was sure. I had an appointment for two days after our honeymoon ended, when I knew he'd be at the recording studio, laying down his vocals on the next single. After that, they would be on tour, and this time, I could go with them, it was UK tour, even Gemma would get to go. Next stop was the hairdressers, who curled my hair in tight ringlets, then caught it up in a french twist, with the curls flowing out the top. The next accesory was the sprayed minature roses in the colours of the dresses, ivory and deep purple, they were pinned into my hair along the twist at the back. There was room left at the front for my veil. We headed back to the flat to get ready.

My dress was long and straight, made of lined silk, it was held up by my cleavage and three thin, dark purple spaghetti straps. The bodice was fitted slightly, and there were purple sequins along the dividing line. There was a layer of light ivory silk gathered at the back in a big deep purple ribbon, and fanned into my trail, which was embroidered with roses. The veil was held in place with a headband, set with pearls and the same real sprayed roses as the ones in my hair, the veil fell to half way down my back in layers, and tiny tear drop pearls hung from it. The only jewellery I wore were the tear shaped pearl earrings Mark had given me for our first anniversary and my engagement ring. I couldn't wait to see him.

The bridesmaid's dresses were similar to mine, with pearl sequins and an ivory bow, but the purple satin didn't flow into a trail, it just fell softly to the same level as the dress, and was embroidered with ivory roses. They wore pearl studs and the necklaces I bought them for being bridesmaids, each displaying their name, and Georgina wore her wedding rings, as opposed to Gemma's eternity ring, given to her by Shane on her birthday. My father arrived to escort me to the church. My daddy, who had always talked of this day, and how he hoped he would give his little girl to someone who would make my life complete. Georgina bundled me and my dress into the car and hurried into the front seat. Gemma got into another car with my mother. Approaching the church I got more and more anxious. I was worried that Kian had blurted the truth and Mark wouldn't be there. I knew all I needed was to look into his eyes and see that he loved me, then I'd calm down. I got out of the car and was greeted by Bryan and Nicky, Kian was inside. I embraced them both, holding back the happy tears. I stepped inside and took my place in front of Nicky and Georgina, and Bryan and Gemma. I held tight to my father's arm as I heard the bridal procession start. I stepped onto the aisle and looked up, straight into Mark's eyes. I saw them light up and I knew right then that everything would be fine. I stepped up beside him and took his hand, knowing that he was offering it. My father sat down, as did Gemma, Bryan and Kian. Nicky and Georgina were our offical witnesses, and stood behind us. Like G and Nicky, we'd written our own vows. I went first. "I, Nicola McMullan, take thee Mark Feehily to be my lawfully wedded husband, to love like no other, to hold through the sadness, to do everything I can to make you happy, and to cherish you as the only thing that makes my life complete." Mark smiled at me, and I knew he'd have written vows to make me cry "I, Mark Feehily, take thee Nicola McMullan to be my lawfully wedded wife, to treat as my equal, to hold as my anchor, to treasure as my soulmate, and to love as the woman who awakened me to the beauty of true love." I felt the tears of pure happiness sting my eyes as he slipped my ring on. It was gold, set with pearls and amethysts. His was set with a single pearl, surrounded by tiny amethysts. I looked into his joyful blue eyes while the priest pronounced us husband and wife. "You may kiss the bride." instead of the fiercly passionate kiss Nicky and Georgina had shared, Mark took my hands and kissed me softly and tenderly, his eyes darkening with the passion I knew i'd see later. I didn't want formally posed photographs, I only allowed two of those, one of just Me and Mark, in front of a white rose bush outside. We are facing each other, staring into each others eyes, and my hand is on his cheek, his hand holding my left, playing with my ring. The other is of the wedding party: the westlife guys, Georgina, Gemma, my parents. The rest of the photos are candids, there's a great one of the guys lifting me, like the titles of Beverly hills 90210. There's a gorgeous one of Nicky lifting Georgina above his head, staring into her eyes.

There's one of Shane chasing Gemma around a tree and there's a fantastic one of Shane and me, holding hands and running in circles, laughing hysterically and there's one of Georgina being lifted by Mark and Kian. There's one of Bryan, Mark and me, Bryan's wearing my veil, standing between us, an arm around each of us. There's one of Kian alone, leaning against a tree, looking at something out of shot. It's a beautiful photograph, when you don't know that he's looking at Mark pushing me in a swing just off the side of the picture. There was one snapped when I threw my bouquet, with Gemma holding it up triumphantly. Somehow I knew that tradition would come through. Shane adored Gemma, it was only a matter of time.

Everyone enjoyed the meal, and afterwards the head table broke into song, not waiting for the karioke. We were singing a backstreet boys song, "I want it that way" after that we started going through the westlife singles, from the start. The reception was a laugh. The only song that wasn't to be karioke, was the First Dance. I knew what I wanted, and Mark agreed it was the perfect song for the perfect day: Shania Twain, From this moment on. I lost myself to the love that the song spoke of, the writers of such lyrics knew what they were looking for, but so seldom was such an all cosuming love found. I was one of the lucky ones. I watched Gemma and Georgina perform their songs for their men. Nicky and Shane sang too, When you say nothing at all, as a duet. Then everyone waited for me to sing. I got up and told the guy what I wanted, then I started to sing."I don't know what it is that makes me love you so, I only know I never want to let you go, cause you started something, can't you see that ever since we met you've had a hold on me, it happens to be true. I only want to be with you. It doesn't matter where you go or what you do, I want to spend each moment of the day with you, look what has happened with just one kiss, I never knew that I could be in love like this, it's crazy but it's true I only want to be with you. You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance, I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance..." When I'd finished Mark came running over and wrapped his arms around me shouting, "You remember, I can't believe you remember!" everyone else looked baffled, it was a personal memory, our first kiss at that gucci party, six years ago. All night we had a ball, we sang, we danced, we laughed. Even Kian let loose when Nicky introduced him to a brunette called Yvonne. I sang til my throat hurt, ‘Still the One', ‘Baby One More Time', Kiss the Rain', ‘Lay All Your Love on Me', ‘You Needed Me', ‘Genie in A Bottle' and more that I can't even remember. Everyone sang their fair share, then I dragged Mark up to do a duet. "Ill sing Shane's part" I told him. Flying without wings. And we both meant every word. Bryan captured that moment forever on that camcorder of his that he took everywhere. While Yvonne and Kian sang I've had the time of my life', the other three couples among us went to dance. Like every other couple on the planet, we all knew the first ten steps or so, then we just made it up. I can honestly say that I was truely happy then. It wasn't long before we had to leave for the flight that Mark and I walked onto the balcony. He took my hand gently and handed me a box. Puzzled, I opened it to find a solid gold locket, with the inscription "From this moment on" Inside it was a photo of each of us. Our wedding date was inscribed on the back. I felt a tear in my eye, and Mark caught it in my eyelashes on the tip of his finger. "You'll only cry happy tears as long as I'm here" I didn't know then that he was wrong.

And as we left for our honeymoon, tin cans rattling behind the car, driving into the sunset, I was still in a fantasy land, where fairy tale weddings lasted and true love conqured all.

Chapter 8

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