**Look into my eyes. Can you see it? Tell me what you see. Can you feel what I'm feeling? Do you feel this pain I try to hide? It's so deep inside of me I'm not even sure I know it's there. I've become so good to hide it. I'm hiding it from you…from me.**

" Excuse me for a minute." Josie said before leaving the kitchen. The five Backstreet Boys followed her every move until she was out of sight. Brian moved his chair closer to Nick's and took a deep breath.

" Nick, we need to talk." Brian said. Nick, caught off guard, glanced nervously at his bandmates. Deep down he knew what it was about. " We saw a bruise on Josie's leg, a big one." Nick nodded slowly. He had seen it too. He could feel Kevin's disapproving eyes on him, the worry Howie was probably feeling and the anger burning inside of AJ. " Last week she had one on her right hand. The week before it was on her left hand. Now I have to ask. I want you to be honest. How did she gets all those bruises?"

Nick knew everyone was holding their breath. He could understand, somehow, why they were asking. But it wasn't his fault. He loved her deeply and only wanted the best for her. And it obviously wasn't enough.

" I don't know." He whispered releasing a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

A collective groan was the first reply Nick got. He was hurt. His best friends didn't believe him. They couldn't understand the truth anyway. He couldn't explain it. And he didn't want to. It was between him and Josie. No one else. If they couldn't understand, too bad for them.

AJ pushed the chair angrily against the table and stormed out of the kitchen. Nick's eyes widened, ignoring they were that mad until now. Kevin, being the rational person that he is, sat in front of the young blond and held his hands softly.

" Nick, you need to stop. You can't keep hurting her like that. There's good psychologist who could help you to control your anger…" Nick's hand jerked away and he stood up abruptly.

" I'm not beating her! I love her! I don't want to hurt anyone!" he screamed, pretty sure Josie had heard him. Probably the neighbour too. But he didn't care at this point.

" Nick, you have to admit it. A girl can't keep hitting a table for three weeks in a row. You think you're helping when you hit her but you're not. You're not helping her at all." Brian said carefully, putting his hand on his best friend shoulder. Nick angrily pushed it away and hit the sink.

" I can't believe you think I could do something like that. You really think I'm violent?" He asked, his face red in anger. Howie cleared his throat and looked at his younger friend.

" Well…" He motioned for Nick's hand and tried to show him the situation without saying a word.

" Okay, I admit. It looks pretty bad. But I swear I never hit her. I never will." Nick said, calming down and sitting back on his chair. He sighed and looked at his hands sadly.

**Why do you think I'm crazy? Do you know how I feel? You only see what you want to see. The whole picture is too much for you. I have a secret for you. Even if you have everything, you're nothing. I am nothing. And now I might lose the only thing that matters to me.**

AJ climbed the stairs, thinking of what he should say to Josie. He couldn't imagine Nick beating his girlfriend. It was something AJ would never be able to do. He had admitted to be violent sometimes. But hitting his girlfriend, he'd never do that. He couldn't understand why Nick did it.

The wild boy reached the bedroom door. He could easily hear her sobs. Each sobs more painful than the one before. AJ winced when he heard her desperate cry. Quietly, AJ pushed the door open and saw her on the bed.

" Josie, he won't touch you anymore. I promise you." He said as he sat on the bed beside her. She turned around quickly and glared at him.

" What are you talking about?" She asked, confusion in her eyes. But AJ could also see the fear trembling into her brown eyes.

" We all know. You can stop lying." He said, hugging her but she pushed him on the floor angrily, suddenly very mad.

" You don't know AJ. None of you know. How can you think of your friend like that? Nick would never touch me. He would never hit me. That I can swear. So now get out of here and leave Nick alone." She said through clenched teeth. She was pointing at the door, her hand shacking.

" If Nick never touched you, how come you have this big bruise on your leg? It didn't appear suddenly." AJ said, controlling his voice because he knew he would be yelling if he didn't.

" I can easily do it myself. I don't need anyone." She whispered through her tears before sitting on the floor.

**I can see their laughs again. I can see how much they didn't care. And they never saw how much I was hurting. I saw what I was for them. And I forgot everything else. I prayed for help. But I never asked, and never will. Because asking would make me weak.**

When AJ returned into the kitchen, Nick had his head on the table, shaking it hopelessly while the rest of the guys were talking around him. Kevin was giving a hard time to the youngest member of the group and AJ felt guilty now that he knew the truth.

Slowly, the tattooed man walked to the table and put his hand on Nick's shoulder supportively. Nick raised his head in surprised just in time to see AJ pushing the rest of the guys, giving the young blond more space.

" Leave him alone now." AJ said softly, too troubled to be angry or mad. " He didn't do anything. Trust me on that one."

Brian and Kevin gaped and tried to argue while Howie seemed to understand what was going on. He looked at AJ, then at Nick and pointed toward the bedroom with his head. AJ nodded sadly.

" Come on guys, we better leave." Howie said as he pushed the two cousins out of the house.

Nick, who hadn't moved from the table, observed AJ, eyeing him suspiciously, wondering what he was up to. But AJ didn't seem angry anymore. He only looked sad.

" Go see her. I know what happened, you know what happened. Don't let her do this anymore."

**Why am I feeling like this? I have no reason to. I have all I could ask for.**

Josie hit her thigh with the first thing she had found: the TV remote.

**Nothing's wrong. As long as no one knows, I'll be fine.**

She hit herself again, flinching at the pain shooting through her body.

**I remember when I told them. They laughed so hard. It was the best joke of the year. All I wanted was for them to ask me to stop. I wanted them to care.**

She raised her hand again; ready to hit the already sore spot again when a strong hand caught his arms. She looked behind her slowly, her eyes watering as she saw the concern in her lover eyes. He pulled her into his arms and rocked her until her sobs stopped and her breathing was back to normal.

" Don't do this anymore Josie. You don't have to. Please stop. I can't bare to see you like this." Nick said, blinking back his own tears. Josie shifted in his arms and put her arms around his waist, holding onto him for dear life.

" Tell me I'm really here. Tell me I'm not just a part of a dream. Tell me…" She whimpered, burying her face into Nick's neck. He kissed the top of her head and looked down at her.

" You're real. You're here with me. And you're gonna get better soon." He said, tightening his grip around here and pulling her on the bed with him. She put her head on his chest and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his heart.

They stayed like this for hours, falling asleep in each other's arms.