Part 16
JC thought he had lost Lance when he finally found him under a tree behind the house. The young blond had walked quickly and had first gone into the street. He must have taken a shortcut to the house because JC hadn't been able to follow him.

" Lance I'm sorry." The brunet said as he stood in front of his friend, his lover. Lance shrugged and didn't look at JC.
" Why are you sorry? It's not like I mean something to you anyway." Lance said softly, no anger in his voice.
" You means everything to me…" JC said. He wanted to kiss Lance so badly. It was a physical pain. Lance snorted before finally looking up at the other man.
" Geez, I wouldn't want to be someone who means nothing to you. You must be a real bitch toward them huh? Cause if I means so much to you, you sure don't make a good job showing it."

The cold tone in Lance's voice was like a knife cutting right into JC's heart. It was so distant and so sad at the same time. JC wasn't sure he could find the words, the right words, to bring Lance back to him.

" I'm an ass. You know I can be a real jerk when I want. All I wanted was some time alone. I needed time to think. I put you in danger and I will never forgive myself. You don't know how hard it was to be without you." JC said as he sat in front of Lance. But the younger man stood up and glared.
" Oh yeah. I don't know. I just thought you were dead and that I would never see you again. I felt like a part of me was gone but I don't know how hard it was." Lance said as he paced around JC. " I was alone Josh. And you were watching. I know you were, I felt it but I thought I was crazy. You could have stayed with me but no, you left me alone."
" You weren't so alone. Justin took care of you." JC sneered as he looked away.
" We took care of each other. And don't blame him ever again. He didn't force me to do anything." Lance defended, his back facing JC.
" Lance, you're talking about it like it's not a big deal. The first time is always…"
" He wasn't my first!" Lance shouted, turning around so he was now facing JC. " Maybe it's a good thing you saw us. I'm not the purest thing on this earth, no matter what people think" JC gaped in disbelief. He had never thought Lance had any experience when it came to sex. The boy had always been so shy. " What happened yesterday was only a reminder that I'm not so innocent. I don't want to be used by any cult leader again because of what people think."
" You did it because of Serge?" JC asked, looking at the ground and feeling guiltier than before.
" Oh no…I sleep with my straight friends who has a girlfriend as a hobby. What do you think?" Lance said as he finally sat back beside his lover but making sure there was a distance between them.
" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted. Will you ever forgive me? Will you ever love me again?"
Lance sighed and picked at the ground. " I can't stop loving you Josh. I didn't slept with Justin to hurt you. I needed it. And I thought you were gone, forever. I don't know how to deal with everything. It's just…too much."

Pain was heard in the deep voice. Instinctively JC reached for him but Lance moved away immediately. He sniffled and looked ahead of him.

" I love you Josh. But I have to figure out if I can be with you. We didn't even start a relation and already we have issues. I don't think we're ready yet."
" But Lance…" JC pleaded painfully.
" You got the whole Justin issue to deal with and I have my owns. Time will bring us back together if we're meant to."

Lance stood up and walked back into the house, leaving JC alone.

~*~

Hours later, JC was still outside and Lance was locked into his room. Justin had passed out on the couch and Chris had gone to bed early. Joey and Britney were now alone in the kitchen, nursing a coffee after they had run out of alcohol.

" I can't believe how calm you are." Joey said, referring on the lack of anger from Britney.
" I don't want to lose him." She said, her hands enveloping her cup of coffee. " I'm angry. I'm hurt and I can't believe he did that. A part of me understand and the other part just to scream. But I can't let him go. Not for that. I love him too much." She sobbed quietly; bringing her hands to her face as her whole body started shaking.
" Hey…shh…come here." Joey soothed as he moved around the table and hugged Britney. " It's gonna be alright. You'll get through this."

~*~

It was dark outside but JC didn't seem to notice. His mind was searching for any boyfriend Lance could have had. He had always thought Lance was virgin. And he remembered telling Serge about Lance.

" Shit! It's really my fault. It's my fucking fault!" JC screamed into the night.

" Josh…Josh…" A deep voice said quietly, out of nowhere. JC turned around a couple of time but saw no one. " At the window" he looked up at the window where a faint light was shinning through the night.
" Lance?"
" Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on already. I don't think it was your fault so shut up and go to bed. I want to sleep."

Lance closed the window quietly and turned off the light. JC stared at the window for a few minutes before smiling softly.

~*~

Lance walked into the kitchen the next morning, greeted by the sight of Justin leaning his head against the table. Britney had a glass of water in her hand, trying to get Justin to drink it. She looked up at Lance and mouthed 'hangover' to him before smiling. Lance returned the smile and sat at the table.

" French toast Scoop?" Joey asked, standing in front of Lance, a plate in his hand.
" Yeah, sure." Lance said, grinning as he took the plate and hungrily start eating.
" Food! Food! Food!" Chris yelled, bouncing into the kitchen. Without warning he took Lance's plate and sat at the other end of the table.
" Hey!" The green-eyed man cried as Joey put another plate in front of him. " It was my french toasts."

The kitchen was very noisy until JC walked in. Everyone felt silent and stopped moving. Justin moved though at the sudden silence.

" Hey." Justin croaked sleepily. JC observed him for a while, aware of the tension in the room.
" Justin, you know you're not old enough to drink." JC reprimanded the hint of a smile in his voice.
" Fuck you." Justin growled, glaring at JC and putting his head back on the table.
" No thank. You're not my type." A smirk appeared slowly on JC's face. Justin looked from the corner of his eyes. He recognised this look. He knew his best friend well enough to know he wasn't mad anymore.
" Welcome back Spazzy. We missed you."

Justin hugged him and JC returned it, holding his young friend tightly. A sigh of relief escaped everyone's mouth.

" Don't let him go." Justin whispered so JC was the only one to hear. He nodded and released the curly man.

Lance observed the exchange and suddenly felt out of place, alone. He hadn't felt JC in his arms yet. He hadn't touched him. And now what he had said the night before didn't matter. He stood up and quickly walked out of the kitchen.

JC stared at the retreating form and sighed sadly. He thought maybe things were looking up but Lance couldn't stand to stay in the same place. JC glanced at his friends quickly before he felt someone pushing him against the wall.

Green eyes were burning into the blue ones. "Damn it." Lance whispered and pressed his lips against JC's, who returned the kiss before pulling apart.
" Lance, you said…"
" Forget what I said…" he said, kissing his lover again. But JC pulled back again, even if he didn't really wanted to.
" But Lance, what about…" Lance groaned and pushed JC harder against the wall.
" Can you just…shut up and kiss me?" Lance exclaimed, annoyed.
" Geez, I'm sorry." JC said, smiling as Lance attacked his lips.

" I'm not hungry anymore." Chris pouted, folding his arms on his chest.

JC and Lance laughed through their kiss before pulling apart and looking sheepishly at their older friend.

" Now get out of here. I've had enough nasty images for the next year." Chris said as he pushed them away.

Lance guided his lover to the room and they sat on the bed awkwardly.

" I love you Josh."
" Love you too Lance."

They remained silent for a few minutes. JC cleared his throat and looked slyly at Lance. The blond man eyed him suspiciously.

" What?"
" You know, about this guy, the first you…you know…" JC trailed softly.
" I don't want to talk about it Josh." Lance said, sighing.
" Who said we had to talk. I just want to show you what I can do." He grinned widely, pushing Lance on the bed.
" Oh really? I'm not one to complain."

Lance laughed deeply before moaning and forgetting about anyone out of the room and concentrating on JC. But before he loose his head ability to think, he said a silent thanks, happy that JC had come back to him.

The end

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