Part 3 It was past midnight. Lance knew he shouldn't have gone to this club with Joey. Now he would be tired for the next few days. But the few drinks he'd had were good. He was feeling good. But he wasn't drunk. He didn't want to. He was still worried about JC.

With a sigh he opened and took a step back when he saw the lights and heard the sweet melody of Back at one filling the room. After a quick look around the room he saw JC. He saw his love sitting in a chair, wearing only a pair of sweat pants.

" Lance…" JC whispered, standing up. " I'm happy you're back. I missed you." He continued, hugging his stunned friend tightly. Lance closed his eyes and leaned in the embrace.
" I…I missed you too Josh." He said quietly. It was their first real contact in weeks and Lance didn't want to let go. He wanted to stay like this forever.

JC let his hands trail curiously on the young's body. He took his time to explore every place he had never been able to touch before. He wasn't surprised to feel Lance respond to his touch. JC felt the blond man doing the same. JC pulled apart and captured his friend's lips in a gentle kiss. Lance didn't question what was going on. JC was kissing him, touching him. Nothing else mattered.

The kiss deepened and soon Lance felt the need to breathe. Breaking the kiss, he stared into the eyes in front of him. Without hesitation and without realising what he was doing, he reached for JC's pants and slid them down. Getting the hint, JC attacked the shirt that was keeping him away from Lance's chest.

Minutes later they stood in front of each other, only in their boxer. At the same time they took a step forwards and met for another kiss. A more passionate one, making Lance moans and asks for more. They slowly made they way toward the bed, never breaking the kiss. In a slow motion, Lance pushed JC on the bed, following every move done by the older man.

Every move, every touch was sweet, revealing more than words had ever been able to say. Even if Lance knew he would probably end hurt by this night, he didn't care. He cut every thought coming from his mind and let his instinct take control. Feeling his friend close to him was overwhelming.

JC flipped Lance on the bed and climbed on top of him, taking control of the situation. JC kissed Lance one more time but when he broke from the kiss, indecision crossed his face.

" Lance…I love you so much." It was only a whisper but Lance heard it clear and loud. Still breathless, he reached for JC's cheek, caressing it lovely. JC climbed off Lance, surprising the handsome blond.

" What's wrong Josh?" Lance whispered " Tell me what's going on with you. I want to help you. It's killing me to see you like that. Please tell me. If you're in trouble…" JC silenced him with another sweet kiss but the moment was broken. Lance pushed his questions aside and snuggled closer in the sweet embrace of the one he loved, slowly drifting asleep.

Lance woke up at the feeling of something brushing his legs delicately. He opened his eyes and saw him. He saw JC staring at him with love. For a moment he could have sworn his friend was back. A smile appeared on his lips.

" Come with me." JC said, knowing Lance was awake. The smile on Lance's face faded and turned into a frown.
" Where are you going?" Lance asked his voice thick with fear of the answer he would get. JC kept brushing Lance's legs and look straight into the green's eyes.
" I want you to see what I see. See a world without pain, without hate. They don't care about our sexuality, our money, and our fame. The only thing that matters is the person. No anger is allowed there. You will forget your regrets and only focus on the present. No more ghosts from the past. It's such a peaceful place Lance. Everyone is happy. And I want us to be happy too. I want you to see my friends. Come with me and see the light too. Think how good we'll be together…" JC had moved and was now cupping Lance's face with his hands.
" Josh…" Lance said, putting his hands on the older man's. " As much as I love you and as much as I know we could be good together, I won't go with you. My place is here, as is yours. We already have your friends. Why do you want to leave them Josh? Is it your 'new' who's asking you to go? I'm not sure they're good for you."
" You don't understand Lance. With them I don't have to be afraid of judgement. We won't have to be afraid. And we will no longer live with our regrets." JC insisted, panicked that Lance didn't understand.
" Josh, what doesn't kill you make you stronger. I'm not afraid of judgement, anymore. I don't care about what people say. And regrets are part of us. The past carries the present like a child on his shoulders. If you forget your past, you can't live the present fully." Lance argued, hoping he could change JC's mind.
" I'm disappointed in you Lance. I thought we could be happy together. But maybe I'm going too fast for you. Maybe you need time to see the truth. I gotta go now. But if you ever change your mind, you can find me here. Now I trust you to not tell to anyone. We can't let anyone know where we are." JC said, putting a paper in Lance's hand and kissing him on the forehead. He walked out of the door.

Lance blinked and stared at the door, hoping it would open and he could see the beautiful face of Josh again. But deep down he knew JC wouldn't come back. And Lance hadn't even tried to stop him. He hadn't asked him to stay. He had let him go because all he has been able to was stare at JC. Stare in those beautiful blue eyes he could get lost into.

He looked down at the paper in his hands closed his hand over it protectively. He hadn't lost JC completely. He was still able to contact him. He could try to bring him back. Back from where? Lance wasn't sure.

" Josh is in a cult?" He asked out loud. Suddenly he realised where JC was going. He ran in the hall, stupidly thinking he would catch JC but no one was there. He sighed and went back to the room. The idea of sleeping for the rest of the day sounded appealing now. And he did so. He threw the blankets over his head and closed his eyes. Right now he didn't care about anything else than sleeping. He didn't want to be the one. The one who would have to call Johnny. The one who would have to say that JC was gone. That he didn't know with who he was. Hell, he couldn't face Justin, Chris and Joey. They would think it was his fault. He hadn't been able to convince JC. He groaned and put a pillow over his head. His mind worked fast, trying to find out why he hadn't seen this one coming sooner.

" Because you're stupid Lance. That's why." He mumbled against the pillow. He fought his tears. He would not cry. Not again. Not ever. He had to be strong. He wanted to be strong. For him and for JC. So he swallowed his emotions back inside and closed his eyes, waiting to fall asleep.

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