~Lance POV~

Look at him. He has so much energy. Where does he find it? He's always ready to jump everywhere, go dancing, clubbing. Don't ask him to stay still. His eyes are shinning so brightly. But when he look at me, it changes. There's something behind his eyes. If only I could find what he's thinking. When he hold me at night I wish I knew what's in his head.

Maybe if I wasn't so blind I could see it. But pain is the only thing I feel. A pain that makes me feels alive. Even if it hurts, even if I wish I didn't feel it, at least I know I exist. I think Chris suspect something. That's why I hate to change in front of them. The bruises on my legs can't be hidden when I'm only in my boxer. How many times can I bump into a table? I never had more than one of two bruises but I can't fool them forever. I always have a bruise somewhere.

I don't even know why I try to hide it. I mean, who would care? It's like a game. I'm playing a game. And I can't lose.

" Lance?"

Damn Chris. Why did you have to break into my thoughts? I was thinking here. Can't you go somewhere else? I look up at him. I don't like his serious look. It means trouble for me.

" Yeah Chris?" I don't feel like talking. I want to be away, in my bed, alone. But Chris won't let me. If he wants to find out, he'll do. He'll say what's on his mind. And I won't be the only one in trouble. I'm sure Josh will be too. Even if he has nothing to do with it. I'm the problem.
" I don't know how to ask you." He's nervous. I am too. But I can't let him see it.
" Ask me already"
" Is JC beating you?" Here we go. I knew it would end like this.
" No!" I say. Maybe I said it to fast. I know he doesn't believe me. But it's too late; I can't take it back.

I look up and see JC walking in. He's my saviour. I don't want to deal with Chris. I can't face him. I can't face anyone. I'm too ashamed. They'll think I'm sick. Maybe I am. I hide my head in JC's chest. It feels so good. I feel so strong in his arms. I feel safe. I love him. It's that simple. But then I remember the look on his face when we are alone. It wasn't like that before.

" JC, we need to talk. You can't do this anymore." Oh shit Chris. I know this tone. You don't understand Chris. Josh doesn't know why you are mad. Oh maybe he does. He doesn't seem surprised by Chris.
" It's not me." Josh reply. Oh my god he knows. Guess I was stupid to think he wouldn't notice. I hold on him and I can feel my tears. They weren't supposed to know. I wait. They're talking about me. As if I'm not there. Well I'm not really there anyway. I can't hear them. The sound of my sobs is too loud. I don't want to lose him. But I'm not completely stupid. I'm asking for too much. I'm asking for his love. I'll lose the only part of him I had. And it's my entire fault. I needed to hurt myself and now I'm losing him.

Is it his arms around me? He doesn't hate me? He guides me away. I follow him. I have nothing else to do. I don't even want to do anything else. As long as I have his arms around me, I'll be fine. " I love you Lance." My legs can't support me anymore. It's the first time he says it. He loves me. It's sound so unreal. All this times I though he didn't care about me. I though I was only bothering him. I guess I was wrong.
" You do?" I need to ask. I want to be sure.
" Of course. And I don't want to see another bruise on you Lance. It's enough. I saw you yesterday. Don't do it again. Do you understand?" I nod softly. I hope it will be all right. I lost my game. They found out. But I think it's for the best.

The end

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