" Guys?"

Four Nsyncer turned their heads toward the fifth member of the group. Lance was standing there awkwardly, hoping from one foot to the other, obviously nervous. JC, who had been sprawled on the couch, immediately sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. The rest of the guys just look at Lance, waiting for him to continue. All Lance could do was swallow and look at everything but his friends.

" What's wrong Lance?"

That was Chris. The older man would have sound annoyed for someone who didn't know him. But the guys knew better. They knew Chris was worried by the nervous behaviour of his friend.

Lance looked away. He knew they were all waiting. He knew he had to tell them. He didn't know how. Lance started pacing around, trying to find the right words, the right way to say something like this. He turned around and came face to face with JC, who had obviously stood up while Lance was pacing.

" I can't…"

It was a whisper and only JC could hear it. Lance looked down.

" You can tell us anything Lance. You know you can." JC whispered, taking Lance's chin in his hand and lifting his head up.

Lance shook his head and moved away. He found a spot on the couch. Chris, Joey and Justin were on the floor, previously playing a video game but now watching Lance intensely. That left Lance all the place he needed on the couch. JC sat beside him and looked at him, trying to read into Lance's eyes. For the first time in years, he couldn't.

" You're gonna hate me." Lance said, still avoiding eyes contact.

" We can't hate you Lance."

Lance glanced at Joey and smiled gratefully at him. It lasted only a second. Lance went back into his nervous state and his exploration of every single thing in the room.

" Are you gonna say something or you'll just sit there until we all starve to death?" Justin said, rewarded by a furious glare from JC and Chris' elbow on his ribs. "Sorry." Justin mumbled.

Lance cleared his throat and finally looked into the eyes of his friends. The first eyes he met was Joey's. He was obviously worried, Lance could tell by the way his eyes were moving. Justin's eyes were just curious. And bored. Chris' though, were calm. Lance knew he actually cared to know what was wrong with Lance. The last eyes he met were the worst. JC wasn't calm or worried. He was scared by whatever Lance had to say.

" I'm…" Lance said. He swallowed. " I'm leaving."

Lance breathed deeply, quietly forcing himself to stay still. To not run away yet.

" What do you mean? You're leaving?" Chris asked. Lance took another deep breath and looked away.

" You're going on a trip and you're coming back, right?" Justin asked. Was it just Lance or Justin's voice was shaky?

" Yeah what he said." Joey said, pointing at Justin, speechless.

" Tell me you're not serious." JC whispered, staring at Lance.

Lance closed his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the waves of emotions he was feeling inside. He felt a hand on his shoulder and slowly turned his head.

" You can't leave Lance. Tell me you're not serious."

" I'm sorry JC. I can't stay here anymore. I can't."

A deafening silence came over the room. Time stood still between the five men, no one daring to move or say anything, afraid everything would become real if they did.

They knew they couldn't stay like that forever. Someone had to say something. But no one knew what to say.

No able to take it anymore, Lance stood up and slowly, quietly, made his way toward the door of the room.

" When?"

Lance stopped his movements and turned around. The four nsyncers were looking at him, sadness written all over their faces.

" Tomorrow morning." Lance said quietly, his voice shaky but determined.

When no one said anything else, Lance left the room, closing the door.

As the door closed, one word came out of four mouths at the same time. JC held his head in his hands, shaking slightly. Justin, Joey and Chris looked at the floor, silently fighting their tears.

" He can't." Justin said, looking up at JC. JC just shook his head helplessly.

" If he's not happy here anymore, there's nothing we can do about it Justin. It's his decision. He's old enough to make his own decision. And he's strong enough to actually make them." JC said sadly, looking at Justin as the young man's face slowly paled.

" I don't want him to leave." Justin said quietly.

" Fuck." Chris shouted, hitting the floor with his hand, standing up and storming out of the room. The other three looked at him but didn't move.

" I'm…I'll…" Joey said, gesturing with his hands. Justin and JC nodded and looked at the floor again. Joey walked out of the room, defeated.

That night, none of them found sleep. None of them talked.

When morning came, Lance quietly left his room, a single bag on his shoulder. His throat dry because of all the tears he had cried, Lance stopped by the kitchen, only to be welcomed by his four friends. He smiled weakly and stayed still at the entrance of the kitchen.

" You didn't change your mind?" Joey asked quietly. Lance shook his head and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

JC, who had been standing when Lance had came in, slumped on the nearest chair he could find and stared in front of him, not seeing anything at this point.

" So I guess that's it." Lance said, trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably.

" Are you ever coming back?" JC asked, looking hopefully at Lance.

Lance shrugged and stared at the blue of JC's eyes. " I honestly don't know."

They stared at each other as everything around them disappeared. Unconsciously, Lance moved toward JC as JC stood up and also moved toward Lance. They stood close to each others, their lips inches from the other. JC slowly brought his hand to Lance's cheek and caressed it softly. Hesitantly he moved forward, bringing his lips to Lance's, kissing him softly. Lance closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment while it was there. While he could enjoy it.

" I love you Lance." JC said softly, breaking the kiss and bringing their forehead together.

" I love you too."

" Why?" Lance sighed deeply, a single tear falling from his eye.

" I've been here for too long. I need to see new things, I need to learn a different kind of life. I give and give but it's never enough. There's always something missing. I have to find out what is missing. It's something I have to do JC. If I stay here, my heart won't breath freely. I know the best has yet to come in my life. But it's not here and it's not now."

JC swallowed and looked into Lance's eyes.

" Try to learn to come back Lance. We'll miss you. I already miss you. Don't forget us. Don't forget me. You'll always be a part of my life no matter where you are, what you do. I can't erase you from my heart. And I want you to come back. I…" JC choked back a sob. " I love you Lance. But if it's something you have to do, I can't stop you."

" I have to." Lance said. JC nodded and kissed Lance again. A last time.

Lance moved away, wiping his tears away. He turned to Joey, Justin and Chris and who had been standing their the whole time, watching helplessly their two best friends saying goodbye to each other.

" I'll miss you guys."

Justin bit his lips and walked to Lance, hugging him very tightly.

" Do you really have to?" Justin asked, his voice muffled by Lance's shoulder. Lance nodded and released Justin slowly.

" Wipe your tears Curly. I'm not dead." Lance said through his own tears.

" I'll miss you Lance." Joey said. He hugged Lance quickly and left the kitchen, almost running out of it.

Lance looked at Joey's retreating form and sighed sadly. He turned back to Chris and had moved closer to Lance. It wasn't long before Lance found himself embraced by Chris.

" Don't ever fucking change while you're away. It's bad enough you're leaving us, I want the old Lance back when you'll find whatever you have to find. You hear me? Don't fucking change." Chris said, crying freely on Lance's shoulder.

Lance nodded and closed his eyes. He sniffled and pulled away from Chris' embrace.

" I have to go." Lance said, his voice thick from the tears. He grabbed his bad on the floor and hurried out of the house, not giving a second glance to his friends standing in the kitchen.

Once outside he turned around and looked one last time at the house.

" Bye guys. I'll miss you."

Deep down, he knew one day he will be back. It was just a matter of time.

He smiled sadly at the house, memorising every aspect of it, memorising as much as he could.

And then he was gone.