How it happened

This drink came into being one hot day in August when I was out walking my dog with a friend. The watermelons were stacked in rows in front of the grocery store, so green and variegated, glistening in the late morning sun, beaconing. We weren't strong enough to resist their siren call, and the rest just sort of happened. For some reason I can't remember the concoction was named "wooj". It can be made with or without ethanol.

Indications: for Summer Solstice celebrations, curing hangovers, curing thirst, curing sobriety, toasting friends, toasting deities, ritual use as the symbolic blood of enemies, to accompany barbecues, or just because.

How to make it

You will need:

• One watermelon
• A big enough knife
• An ice cream scoop
• A rotary tool or potato masher (eg. a Cuisinart, but not a coffee grinder). A blender would be ideal but I don't have one. Not one with a working motor, anyway.
• one or more friends (optional)
• enough hard cider (we had Grower's Macintosh Apple Cider) or a supply of ginger ale. Cider gets you drunker.
• paper towels
• ice is always nice.
• A handy container large enough to hold everything. It really needs to be both handy and large enough. And you're gonna be pouring from it so don't use a salad bowl.

What to do:

• Cut the watermelon in half. Use the ice cream scoop to scoop scoops of watermelon into the rotary tool (eg. Cuisinart; not a coffee grinder). About half a watermelon the size we had (sort of biggish) was enough for a 6 pack of cider. If you drink it all then afterwards you can make a gladiator helmet out of the watermelon rind, you sick puppy. If you do, send me a picture, and I'll post it.
• homogenize the watermelon. Don't homogenize the white or green parts, just the red parts. The goal here is a liquid watermelon but you only want to drink the part of the watermelon you'd eat. Don't try to homogenize it all at once 'cause the Cuisinart leaks and I made a mess of the counter. That's what the paper towels are for.
  UPDATE: If you're worried about seeds, forget the ice cream scoop. this is a good way to get rid of them, but they do sink to the bottom.
• Pour the soup-like homogenate (or sticky mess for you arts majors) into the handy container.
• Add cider to watermelon about half and half or more or less depending on how you decide you like it. Add the ice, ice is nice. Drink it outside in the sun. After, try to fix the blender with your Swiss army knife.