(It's a beautiful fall day in Viridian City. The birds are singing, children are playing outside, and it's softball time at the Viridian Minimum Security Hotel- Errrr... I mean- Prison.)

Officer Jim: You're up Kuja.

Kuja: *shudder* (Getting off the bench) I hate this place.

P.A. System Voice: Hello everyone! After the softball game, a movie will be showing in the theater. Today's movie is "Action Kitty Goes to Obedience School".

Kuja: Oh my goodness...

P.A. System Voice: If you don't like Action Kitty, the cable upgrades in the rooms have just been finished. Every room now has premium digital cable. Video Game consoles are also available if you wish to check them out. See Officer Jenny if you are interested. And finally, for dinner we're having steamed lobster. For our vegetarian guests, we'll also have veggie burgers and salad. Thank you for your attention and enjoy your stay at Viridian Minimum Security Prison. Remember to be good so you can leave!

Kuja: Why do I feel as if I'm steadily becoming an idiot here?

Queen Lady: Because you are. Now hit so I can go.

(Kuja shakes his head and goes up to home plate.)

Ganondorf: Are you ready, Kuja? I'm going to throw a fast one.

Kuja: *sigh* I'm sure.

(Ganondorf throws the pitch. Kuja bunts it and walks slowly towards first base. Ganondorf runs to home plate and picks up the ball. Then he runs and tags Kuja.)

Kuja: Oh darn. I'm out. (sarcasm)

Officer Jim: Hey Kuja! Lighten up! We're out here to have fun. Aren't you having fun?

Kuja: Oh yes. (sarcasm)

Officer Jim: You know what, Kuja. If you aren't having fun, then you can just go inside. We don't want you to spoil our fun, do we guys?

Other inmates: No!

Kuja: Oh darn. I think I'll go to my room and cry now. *muttering* Morons.

(Kuja goes inside. Lets talk about the building. It's really nice. It's like a mansion. There are 450 rooms. Every inmate, or "guest" as they're called, gets their own room. Each room is rather large and has a TV with cable, VCR, DVD player, computer with internet access, phone, bathroom, mini fridge, queen sized bed, night stand, alarm clock, stereo, dresser with mirror, and desk with paper and writing utensils. Now you see why I called it a hotel. You know, it's even nicer than a hotel. It's like moving in with your rich uncle- If you have a rich uncle... Any way, Kuja goes to his room and sits down on the bed. He looks at the plant on his night stand. He was lucky enough to get a window room, so he has plants.)

Kuja: Well, Holly (That's his plant's name), I think I've had it with this place.

(He sits in silence looking at the plant as if he expects it to answer.)

Kuja: I need a plan to escape...

(Sitting next to Holly is a picture in a green frame that has stars on it. Kuja picks it up and looks at it. It's a picture of him and a girl that looks a lot like him. He jumps up.)

Kuja: I've got it, Holly! I know how I will escape!

(He runs over to the phone and picks it up. Before you can make an outgoing call, you have to talk to the prison operator.)

Kuja: Hello, Mary. How are you today? (pause) That's great! I'm just great, too. Do you think you could call up my sister for me? (Pause) Yeah. She's the only person I ever call. (pause) Yep. (pause) Okay. Thank you very much. (pause) Foolish woman... (pause) Hello? Erin? Hi! Guess who it is? (Pause) That's right! It's your big brother, Kuja! Could you be a sweetheart and help me out with something? (pause) Great! I need you to help me break out of this gosh forsaken hell hole. (pause) How? I'll tell you how. You're going to get my dragon out of impound. I know they must be horribly mistreating my little darling... You must save her and come to get me! (pause) What then? Oh! My dear sister, I have a plan for then. (Pause) What is it? Well, Erin, I'm going to have my revenge on those stupid talk show hosts, Thunder and Mew. They have meddled in my affairs for the last time! And then, I'm going to enslave humanity as punishment for sending me here. (pause) You'll help me? Fantastic! While you work on getting my precious dragon out of impound and saving me, I'll call up the old gang and we'll perfect our plans for revenge! (pause) Okay. Tell father and mumsy I said "hello". Okay? (pause) Okay! Bye now!

(Kuja hangs up the phone. He walks over to the night stand, picks up Holly, and goes over to the widow.)

Kuja: Soon, Holly. Soon we will be free. And soon... Soon Thunder and Mew will pay. Bwahahahahahahahaha!