Lightning: Hello viewers. I’m Lightning the Raichu, friend of Thunder and Mew and I will be hosting the show today because Thunder and Mew went to the concert at their daycare. Basically, I'm going to show you clips of what happened behind the scenes of various episodes. Are you ready? Lets get started Mew Two!

Mew Two: Ok. You want me to follow this paper right?

Lightning: Yep. First we’ll begin with some things you never thought you’d EVER hear Thunder and Mew say.

(Some footage of Thunder and Mew sitting on stage begins to play. You hear Lightning’s voice)

Lightning: This is before episode 8.

Thunder: I hate doing this sometimes.

Mew: Tell me about it. This is all idiot humor.

Thunder: Seriously. Who finds this funny?

Mew: Morons..... You know who sucks majorly?

Thunder: No. Who?

Mew: All our damn guests today.

Mew Two: 30 seconds to start guys.

Mew: Ok.

(30 seconds later)

Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 8 of the Pikachu and Mew show.

Mew: Today our guests are the Powerpuff girls and Sailors Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto.

(End clip)

Lightning: Whoa. Mew can talk. Here’s another.

(New clip starts. You see Thunder and Mew sitting in Indigo Stadium)

Mew: Here’s another episode of stupidity.

Thunder: Do you think this show is lowering the intelligence of the viewers daily?

Mew: Chances are. Our viewers were already stupid from the other crap they used to watch. But then again, maybe we’re restoring brain cells.

Thunder: Possibly. You know who I hate though.

Mew: Who?

Thunder: The Elite Four. Stupid bastards. why are they on our show again?

Mew: Talk to Kem and Brock, SHHH... Here’s they come. Hi guys.

(end clip)

Lightning: Please, PLEASE keep watching. those two are stupid some days. How about some bloopers now? Ok. did you know portions of episodes are taped? See, Thunder and Mew have attention spans of about 20 minutes, so half of the episode is taped ahead of time so they can do something else. And now.... The bloopers.

(You see the stage. Thunder, Mew, and Giovanni are on stage.)

Mew: So Giovanni, do you like puppies, kittens, and cute little baby animals?

Giovanni: Yes. Wait. You’re only taping this right?

Thunder: Yeah, but I think we’re going to have to play that.

Giovanni: No. NO! I hate those cute things. Let me try again.

Mew: Do you like baby goats Giovanni? I hear you do.

Giovanni: Shut up! I only like baby sheep.

(they all start laughing. ALL of them)

Giovanni: I’m just kidding. really.

Thunder: Are you sure you’re really Giovanni and not someone he hired to trick us?

Giovanni: Why would you ask that?

Mew: You aren’t being mean and evil.

Giovanni: I’m not? I’m sorry. Should I try harder?

Thunder: Only if you don’t want people to know how nice you really are.

Giovanni: Ok. Ok. How’s this. You two are by far THE most irritating, stupid, and moronic beings I have EVER met.

Thunder: Bingo.

(End clip)

Lightning: Who saw THAT coming? Next one Mew Two.

(New clip. You see Mew and Sabrina standing on the stage holding microphones on the stage)

Mew: "Here we are, on a new adventure"

Sabrina: "Danger lurks, somewhere in the darkness"

Mew: "We are set, for surprises, even battle"

Sabrina: "We’re a team, no one better mess with us"

Mew: "If we stand as one, there’s nothing to fear"

Sabrina: "We’ll beat the darkness and we’ll stay right here"

Mew: "Time after time, that’s how it will be. Just you and me"

Sabrina": Till the end, I will be with you, we will go where our dreams come true. All the times that we have been through, you will always be my best friends.." That is so beautiful Mew. You’re my best friend.

(she gives Mew a hug)

Mew: You rule!

(She gives Sabrina a hug)

Thunder: Seriously. We have a show to do.

(End clip)

Lightning: Amazed? I know I am. Next up Mew Two.

(you see Thunder and Giovanni sitting on the stage)

Thunder: You know you want to say it.

Giovanni: NO!

Thunder: SAY IT!

Giovanni: This is so stupid. I’m not going to say that.

Thunder: Dude, say it or I won’t play the game.

Giovanni: Fine. I can’t believe I'm going to say this. I’m going to be a pokemon master.

Thunder: That didn’t sound like Ash.

Giovanni: I’m not saying that again.

Thunder: I have a whole list of more Ash quotes if you don’t like that one.

Giovanni: Name some.

Thunder: "Pikachu! Thundershock!"

Giovanni: No.

Thunder: "Yay! I won the Earth Badge!"

Giovanni: How in the.... No.

Thunder: "I choose you! Bulbasaur!"

Giovanni: No.

Thunder: "It’s Team Rocket!"

Giovanni: No.

Thunder: "Those pokemon aren’t yours! You have to give them back!"

Giovanni: Hell no.

Thunder: "Those 2 look awfully familiar"

Giovanni: NO! Does this boy say anything that isn’t moronic or irritating?

Thunder: No.

Giovanni: Then forget Pokemon Puzzle League.

Thunder: Fine.

(End clip)

Lightning: That was...... weird. Next!

(You see Mew, Thunder, and Professor Oak on the stage)

Thunder: So, I hear you’re Ash’s dad.

Prof. Oak: What!?

Mew: Yeah. There’s this rumor going around that says you’re Ash’s dad.

Prof. Oak: Who told you that!?

Thunder: We’re not going to tell. But our source did have some convincing evidence.

Prof. Oak: Like...

Mew: How come you ignore Gary, your GRANDSON, and focus all your time on Ash. Could it be because he’s YOUR SON!?

Prof. Oak: NO!

Thunder: Admit it Oak!

Prof. Oak: I’ll never admit to such allegations.

(He walks off the stage.)

Mew: He is SO Ash’s dad.

Thunder: Mew Two, get Ash on the phone.

(end clip)

Lightning: I read that too! Any way, next clip Mew Two.

Mew Two: How is that a blooper?

Lightning: I didn’t know where else to put it.

Mew Two: oh. Ok.

(You see Thunder, Mew, and Richie sitting on the stage.)

Mew: You have a crush on Misty don’t you Richie?

Richie: Yes. Wait. f***.

Thunder: Ah-ha! The truth comes out!

Richie: f***. You aren’t going to air this are you?

Thunder: that depends on what kind of mood we’re in after the show.

Richie: Damnit. If I give you some dirt on Ash and Misty, will you edit that out?

Mew: That depends on how good the dirt is.

Richie: Ok. I have some good stuff. Misty asked Ash out right, but Ash said he’d rather go out with a dog. Well, the b**** got all pissed off and now she’s f***ing Brock.

Thunder: FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT RICHIE!

Mew: In other words, rephrase that.

Richie: She’s.... ummmmm.... How can I rephrase that in a family friendly way?

Thunder: I guess you can’t really. Why is she doing that any way. She’s only 11.

Richie: She’s a little slut that’s why.

Mew: Why do you like her then?

Richie: I don’t. That just slipped.

Mew: Sure it did.

Thunder: Do you have any more dirt?

Richie: Yeah. Did you know that Misty got pregnant too?

Mew: How do you know all this?

Richie: Brock told me. And it’s not his which PROVES my earlier stated theory that Misty is a slut.

Thunder: wow. We SO can’t air this.

Richie: You’d better not. Misty wouldn’t be to happy with you. Or me for that matter. Not that I care.

Mew: Neither do we. But for censor purposes this will probably never be aired.

Richie: And if it is?

Thunder: Now the world knows what they all suspected.

(end clip)

Lightning: Uhhh...... Next clip.

Mew Two: 1. That was NOT a blooper. 2. I remember that.

Lightning: forget that title then. Just ignore section titles. just show the next clip!

(New clip. You see Thunder and Vegeta sitting on the stage)

Thunder: Where the hell is Mew?

Vegeta: When I was backstage I saw her and asked where she was going and she said she was going to get something and that she’d be back.

Thunder: Ok. So, how are you doing?

Vegeta: All right. You?

Thunder: Good. Do you want to sing Nelly with me?

Vegeta: Not really.

Thunder: Fine. "Undalay Undalay mama e I e I Uh-oh! what’s happening now!"

Vegeta: Uhhh.... i’ll be back.

(end clip)

Lightning: weird. I do like that song though. Here’s a funny little interview that wasn’t for any episode.

(you see Thunder and Mew sitting in front of the studio.)

Thunder: we need show ideas Mew.

Mew: word. Do you think we could get the Backstreet Boys?

Thunder: I remember saying earlier we wouldn’t put crap like that on our show.

Mew: Oh. But they’re walking down the street. Look.

Thunder: So they are. Lets got bother them!

Mew: Ok!

(They walk over to The Backstreet Boys)

Mew: Hi!

BSB 1: Ahh! What are you?

Mew: A Mew.

BSB 2: What’s that?

Thunder: I’m a Pikachu. Say it with me. Pi- ka- chu.

Mew: What are you doing here?

BSB 3: Where is here?

Thunder and Mew: "Viridian City!"

BSB 4: Where’s that?

Mew: Kanto.

BSB 5: Where’s that?

Thunder: The Pokemon world.

Mew: You guys came from the real world didn’t you?

BSB 1: I’m confused!

Mew: What’s so confusing about this?

BSB 2: Ok little cat thing. Kindly tell us again where we are.

Mew: You are in downtown Viridian City which is located in the country of Kanto which is located in the pokemon world.

BSB 3: Viridian City? Kanto? Pokemon world? Isn’t pokemon a cartoon and game?

Thunder: Yes.

BSB 4: hey! You’re the rabbit thing that follows the boy with the hat hair aren’t you?

Thunder: No. I am of the same specie, but I am not the same Pikachu. And pikachus are mice not rabbits.

BSB 5: I’m lost.

Mew: We noticed.

BSB 1: Are there any other people around here?

Thunder: You’re in a city dumbass.

BSB 2: Where are they?

Mew: Real people or anime people?

BSB 3: What!?

Thunder: Our trainer Kem would be a real person from your world. The producer of our show would be an anime person from our world.

BSB 4: Let us talk to your trainer then.

Mew: She hates you.

BSB 5: How can she hate people she’s never met?

Thunder: Your music sucks.

BSB 1: Let us talk to another person from the real world then.

Mew: We don’t know of any.

BSB 2: So we aren’t in our own world?

Thunder: No. You’re in a TV show.

Mew: A CARTOON show.

BSB 3: Can you help us get out?

Thunder: Maybe.

BSB 4: WILL you help us get out?

Mew: No.

BSB 5: Why not!?

Thunder: We don’t like you either.

BSB 1: Why not?

Mew: Because. Any other dumb questions.

BSB 2: Will you please help us?

Thunder: Only Mew Two knows how to send people to the real world.

BSB 3: Where is this Mew Two person?

Mew: 1. He is a pokemon. I am a pokemon. A MEW. He is a MEW TWO, as to say, a second Mew. A clone of me if you will. And 2.-

BSB 4: What ever. Where is he?

Thunder: She wasn’t done yet.

Mew: Yeah. Any way, 2. He won’t help you either.

BSB 5: Why not!?

Thunder: Kem trains him too.

Mew: Yep. She raised us as boy band haters.

BSB 1: Please help us. We have to get to a concert.

Thunder: Oh boo hoo. The Backstreet Boys won’t be able to steal millions of dollars from teenage girls anymore.

Mew: sorry.

BSB 2: We’ll pay you!

Thunder: "We don’t want your blood money!"

Mew: Jesus Christ Superstar, Thunder? That is so lame.

BSB 3: Please. We really need your help!

Thunder: Only if you promise never to sing ever again.

BSB 4: We can’t do that.

Mew: I guess you’re SOL then. Bye now.

(end clip)

Lightning: Was that not the weirdest thing ever? Did they ever get back Mew Two?

Mew Two: They bothered me, so I sent them to Townsville. They’re Mojo’s problem now.

Lightning: Funny. This next clip was taken in the guest waiting room during an episode of the show.

(you see the guest waiting room. sitting on the couch are Richie, Blossom, and Brick. Sitting on a chair near there is Todd. On another chair is Misty. And sitting on the floor is Ash.)

Misty: I don’t even know why I came back here.

Ash: Because they threatened you.

Richie: Are you sure?

Misty: Yes. They needed someone to publicly humiliate.

Blossom: Well you’re such an easy target.

Brick: Word.

Misty: You know plant girl, you and your carrot headed boyfriend had better shut up NOW!

Blossom: 1. The name is BLOSSOM. 2. He’s NOT my boyfriend. 3. My hair is orange too.

Brick: And now you’re feeling stupid.

Richie: Ouch. Dissed out by a 5 year old. that hurts.

Misty: f*** off.

Todd: Now really Misty. Is that really necessary?

Misty: f*** you.

Ash: chill out Misty. You don’t have to take out your anger on everyone else.

Blossom: Yeah. Any way, I'm done talking to her. Hi Todd.

Todd: Hi....

Misty: You can’t just pretend I'm not here!

Blossom: Watch me. So how are you today Todd?

Todd: I’m fine thank you...

Misty: TODD! Talk to me!

Blossom: You know Misty, I was already talking to him.

Misty: Tough s***! It’s my turn now!

Blossom: Talk to your boyfriend!

Misty: He’s not my boyfriend!

Brick: And yet you knew EXACTLY who she was talking about.

Richie: ohhh... Dis.

Misty: SHUT UP!

(She runs out of the room crying)

Blossom: Any way, What’s new with you Todd?

(end clip)

Lightning: That was totally funny. Kinda. Our next clip is another backstage one. Only, this one has the gym leaders and the elite four.

(You see the guest waiting room. Scattered all over are the gym leaders and the elite four. We’re focused on a table where Giovanni, Lance, Loreli, Bruno, Sabrina, Erika, Lt. Surge, and Blossom the Charizard are playing cards. BS to be specific.)

Erika: 2 2s.

Giovanni: BS.

Erika: Are you sure?

Giovanni: No. I just like the phrase "BS" so I say it often. Of course I mean it you grass pokemon training moron.

Loreli: You don’t have to be so mean Giovanni.

Giovanni: And you don’t have to be such a moron and yet you do it any way.

Lance: ANY WAY, let’s see the the cards Erika.

(She turns them over. It’s a 5 and a 6)

Giovanni: See. I have a talent of telling when people are lying to me.

Blossom: then why didn’t you catch me?

Giovanni: Because your trainer trained you in such a manner that I ignore you as much as possible.

Blossom: I heard this song once, and the chorus is "Shut the f*** up" . That’s what I have to say to you Giovanni.

Bruno: Why do you bicker so? You are making it impossible to finish the game.

Lt. Surge: Yeah. Shut up and lay the cards Giovanni.

Giovanni: Fine. 1 3. Does anyone wish to challenge me?

(No one responds.)

Giovanni: You are all much more intelligent then I gave you credit for. Good job.

Blossom: 1 4. Go Sabrina.

Sabrina: 2 5s.

Giovanni: She’s lying.

Everyone at the table except Giovanni: Giovanni!

Giovanni: What? The game is called BS. You are supposed to call a person out when you know they’re lying and SHE is lying.

Sabrina: You dare question a psychic?

Giovanni: Yes.

(She turns the cards.)

Sabrina: Damn. He is correct. It’s a Queen and an ace.

Giovanni: I told you. I don’t even know why you bothered to challenge me.

Lt. Surge: So you can play a stupid card game. So what? You don’t have any other talents so shut up already.

Giovanni: I have many talents! I am the leader of a very successful world wide crime syndicate.

Blossom: You inherited it from your mom.

Giovanni: Fine. Umm... I’m the leader of the most difficult gym.

Lance: You’re never there.

Giovanni: Fine. Ummm..... I successfully cloned a pokemon.

Sabrina: 1. You didn’t do the cloning and 2. You can’t even control it.

Bruno: And to make things worse for you, a 15 year old girl CAN control it.

Giovanni: Damn! Ummmm....... I’m good at being evil.

Loreli: I’ll buy that.

(Everyone else agrees)

Lt. Surge: fine. You have 2 talents.

Giovanni: I still think the world wide crime syndicate should count.

Erika: Your mom gave it to you.

Giovanni: That was a long time ago! And it still exists! So I MUST be doing a good job.

Bruno: I guess that makes sense.

(once again, the others agree)

Giovanni: And I'm good at Pokemon Puzzle League.

Loreli: I’m better.

Bruno: I'm best.

Giovanni: If you say so.

Lance: Can we finish the game please!?

Giovanni: We are having an argument dragon boy! Wait.

Lance: But we aren’t here to bicker like you are.

Giovanni: We aren’t here to play BS either.

(Everyone is silent)

Giovanni: I rest my case.

(end clip)

Lightning: That was weird. Why do so many of these clips have Giovanni in them?

Mew Two: I don’t know. I guess Thunder and Mew think he’s funny.

Lightning: I guess he kinda is. This next clip was shot inside the guest room, again.

(You see the guest room. Inside is the Digidestened. You see them all sitting at the table you saw the gym leaders playing BS at in the last clip)

Tai: Ok guys. You have to remember that we can’t tell them too much.

Yolei: Why not?

Matt: The less they know the better.

Sora: If they run around telling the whole world about the Digital world that’ll just cause even more problems there.

Izzy: And I KNOW they don’t need anymore problems now.

All: agreed.

Tai: So we understand that we can’t tell too much?

All: yes.

Tai: Ok then.

Matt: What Now?

Tai: I don’t know.

Mimi: when does the show start?

Izzy: They come for the first of us in 5 minutes.

Sora: How do we kill 5 minutes?

Kari: We could play cards. There’s a deck over there.

Tai: Sounds good. What about you guys?

All: Yeah.

(Kari goes and gets the cards)

Kari: Ok. What game?

Tai: War?

Matt: No. How about.....

T.K.: go fish!

Mimi: Gin?

Davis: How about BS?

Tai: I don’t think I've ever played that....

(everyone but Davis agrees with Tai)

Davis: None of you have ever played BS? Well, it’s easy to learn, so i’ll teach you. First you deal out the entire deck, just like in war. Then we just go around laying the cards in order and if you think someone is lying, you say BS before the next person lays their cards. Got it?

(everyone says yes)

Kari: I understand, but what does BS stand for?

(end clip)

Lightning: Awww..... Why’d it stop there?

Mew Two: All that happens after that is Davis explains what BS means and some other stuff happens, but I'd rather not get into that.

Lightning: Tell!

Mew Two: I can’t. Just go to the next clip.

Lightning: Fine. This next clip is from after an episode on the stage.

(the next clip begins. You see Kem, Matt H., Brock, T.K., Thunder, Mew, Tai, Matt, Wargraymon, and Metalgarurumon. Tai and Matt are fighting)

Tai: You must be pretty stupid because I DIDN’T DO IT!! Although I'm beginning to wish I had!

Matt: What’s that supposed to mean!?

Tai: Wargraymon is going to kick Metalgarurumon's ass that’s what that means!

Matt: Yeah right! Get him Metalgarurumon!

Tai: Please get him Wargraymon.

Wargraymon: I don’t know if I should!

Metalgarurumon: Metal Wolf Claw!

(Wargraymon gets hit.)

Wargraymon: Scratch that. You’re going down Metalgarurumon! Teraforce!

(The 2 Digimon begin to fight)

Mew Two: Do you think I should stop them?

Mew: yes, only because nobody is watching seeing as the show is over. They need to build up more aggression for next time.

Mew Two: Got it.

(He does the blue paralyze thingy on the 2 Digimon)

Metalgarurumon: What’s happening!?

Wargraymon: I can’t move!

Mew Two: You need to stop fighting now.

Wargraymon and Metalgarurumon: NEVER!

Mew Two: I said you need to stop fighting NOW.

T.K.: Look what I started.... Cool.

Kem: Tell your brother what you did now!

T.K.: Hell no! I love watching these 2 fight!

Brock: You’ve been very bad T.K.. Wargraymon and Metalgarurumon are going to get seriously hurt if you don’t tell Matt what you did.

T.K.: They aren’t my Digimon.

Mew: Patamon is going to get seriously hurt if you don’t tell Matt what you did.

T.K.: Is that a threat!?

Mew: No. Of course it is dumbass.

(She teleports away. She teleports holding Patamon by the ear. She then hover/floats (what ever you call it) just so she can hold the Digimon just out of T.K.’s reach)

T.K.: Give me that!

Mew: Nope.

T.K.: Patamon! Digivolve!

Mew: Oh no you don’t!

(She does the blue paralyze thing on Patamon)

Patamon: I....... can’t........ move........

T.K.: Stop it!

Mew: Go tell your brother then.

T.K.: FINE! Matt!

Matt: Not now T.K.!

T.K.: Tell Metalgarurumon to stop. I let him get beat up. Tai had nothing to do with it.

Matt: Really?

T.K.: No, I just love taking credit for things I didn’t do that will get me in trouble. Of course stupid!

Matt: Oh. Ok. Sorry Tai.

Tai: That's Ok. I’m sorry too.

Kem: Ack!

Mew: Now isn’t that nice? You may release them Mew Two.

Mew Two: Ok.

(end clip)

Lightning: That was the last clip? Too bad. Well, Mew Two tells me that’s all the time we have today. It appears that those were all the great clips we could fit into this 1 hour time slot. But a lot more great stuff happens behind the scenes of The Pikachu and Mew Show, and we want you to see some of them in person. How much time do I have Mew Two?

Mew Two: 10 minutes. I had to stop the clips now because Thunder and Mew just called an said along with a preview of tomorrow’s episode and the contest, they wanted you to tell about their next special.

Lightning: All right. First, the contest. Do you want to be here LIVE helping Thunder and Mew as a guest host? Well, now you can! With the.... who named this contest Mew Two?

Mew Two: The Network Board that you’re a member of. You were sick that day and I was filling in for you. I couldn’t think of the kid of anything you would say, so I let them pick the name.

Lightning: This is such a stupid name though. Any way, with the "I want to go go to Johto to host your show show" contest. Remind me to never miss a meeting again.

Mew two: got it.

Lightning: All you have to do is watch tomorrow and you’ll hear the names of Johto pokemon named in the episode, so you have to listen. All you have to do is write down ALL of them, which could be anywhere from 3 to 30, and call in and name ALL of them to Van, the Escaflowne guy that is the show’s new gopher. If the first person to do so is going to Johto to guest host the show. It couldn’t be any easier, right Mew Two?

Mew Two: Right Lightning.

Lightning: Ok. Next order of business, tomorrow's episode, which happens to be a Johto special! Thunder and Mew are going to broadcast LIVE from Johto where they’ll be interviewing the 8 Johto gym leaders.

Mew Two: And visiting some Johto landmarks.

Lightning: Did I explain everything Mew Two?

Mew Two: Yes. Got it mortals?

Lightning: Good. I’ll see you tomorrow too, because I'm guest hosting because they owed me! Good night everyone.

That’s it for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show. Tune in tomorrow to see the Johto special. Good night and watch tomorrow