Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 16 of TPAMS. Hell, I'm feeling lazy today.

Mew: Today is the Johto special Lightning promised you. And according to Van, you guys really liked him.

Lightning: Everyone likes me Mew. I should be hosting this show.

Thunder: Don’t push it Lightning.

Mew: Any way, today our guests will be the 8 Johto gym leaders and Lance of the Elite Four. He supposedly has a big part in pokemon G/S.

Thunder: And before we begin, we had 1 change to make in our contest. We decided since the names will be hard to spot, we’ll do more the 30 and you just have to pick 30 of them out, Ok? And ones you hear during commercials do count HINT HINT.

Mew: Bonus points to anyone who catches all 60.

Lightning: Just remember, Mew and Mew Two ARE NOT Johto pokemon, so they don’t count.

Mew Two: You need to start the show now. Morty is glaring at me.

Thunder: Ok. Send out the first gym leader.

Mew Two: First up is Falkner.

(He walks on to the stage.)

Thunder: Hi.

Mew: Hey.

Lightning: Was up?

Falkner: Hello. Wow. This is neat.

Thunder: What?

Falkner: I’ve never been on TV before.

Mew: Really?

Falkner: No. This is great.

Thunder: Now, lets get to some questions. Do you have a Lugia?

Falkner: I’m not that good of a trainer. I’m better at catching things like Pidgey, Pidgeotto, Hoothoot, and Noctowl.

Mew: So you don’t have Ho-oh then either?

Falkner: Nope.

Lightning: Falkner trains flying pokemon for our viewers that didn’t know.

Thunder: Any way, how much do gym leaders get paid?

Falkner: It depends. Kanto gym leaders get paid a hell of a lot more then we do.

Mew: How much is that?

Falkner: Kanto gym leaders get at least 30,000 a year. Except Giovanni. He gets more. And the Unown (the misspelling of "unknown" IS intentional HINT HINT!) gym leaders, you know, the ones that no one has ever heard of.

Thunder: Yeah.

Falkner: They only get 15 or 20 grand. Over here in Johto, we only get like 10,000 a year. Sometimes less.

Lightning: How do you eat?

Falkner: I have friends in the food business.

Mew: Why do you get so much less? And why does Giovanni get more?

Falkner: We get fewer trainers, so the league figures we don’t need as much money. And Giovanni gets more because his gym has an almost flawless record.

Thunder: You still need to eat. And how often is Giovanni even in his gym?

Falkner: I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.

Lightning: I think you should protest.

Falkner: Naw. We don’t become gym leaders for the money.

Mew: I can tell. You hardly make any.

Falkner: I just want to train pokemon.

Thunder: You can have a job that pays and train pokemon.

Falkner: I guess....

Mew: It’s just not the same Thunder.

Falkner: Yeah.

Thunder: Did you ever have a Chikorta, Cyndaquil, or Totodile?

Falkner: No. I started with a Pidgey my dad gave me.

Mew: That’s nice. Well, I’m out.

Thunder: Me too. Join us again, Ok Falkner?

Falkner: Ok. Bye.

(He walks off the stage.)

Thunder: Well viewers, I hate to say this, but for the second time ever, we have to go to commercial.

Mew: If we wanted a 2 hour spot for this special, we had to have at least 4 commercial breaks. We are so sorry.

Thunder: Please forgive us. If it makes you feel any better, at least 1 of them is for our show. So don’t change the channel.

The Pikachu and Mew Show will be right back. Woo Hoo! I get more then 1 line!

(The screen fades out. Then a commercial begins)

Commercial Narrator: Do you love chicken?

Lady: YEAH!

Commercial Narrator: Well then you should try The Pikachu and Mew Show Fun Shaped Chicken Chunks In A Can! It has Thunder and Mew shapes!

Lady: I love The Pikachu and Mew Show Fun Shaped Chicken Chunks In A Can with Thunder and Mew shapes. They taste great!

Commercial Narrator: Ok! So be sure to run out and buy a can or 6 of The Pikachu and Mew Show Fun Shaped Chicken Chunks In A Can after today's episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show!

(End commercial. A new commercial begins)

Thunder: And the winner of the “I want to go go to Johto to host your show show” is...

Find out who won the “I want to go go to Johto to host your show show” contest. (No the contest ISN’T rigged. That part isn’t pre-taped. Any way, also....

Mew: I will not sit here and let you talk about me like that! You either shut the hell up of get the hell out!

Mew gets a little mad at one of the guests. And makes him sorry for it. But on a lighter note...

Thunder: We also have a special guest!

Who could it be? See all this and a whole lot more tomorrow on The Pikachu and Mew Show!

The Pikachu and Mew Show. From 7 to 8 only on TLC (The LIGHTNING Channel. Not the The LEARNING Channel. ICK!).

(End commercial. Another commercial starts.)

Lightning: Hello. I’m Lightning the Raichu owner of TLC, The Lightning Channel. It used to be The Fun Network, but my trainer bought it for me for my birthday. Any way, I came to talk to you about life insurance. Will your family be protected if the worst happens to you? Will they be able to cover your final expenses? If you answered “no” to either of these questions, you need Kanto State Life Insurance. They will make sure your familywon’t be in financial trouble if something happens to you. They even insure pokemon. I have a policy. Shouldn’t you?

Call 1-700-555-4155 to get your Kanto State Life Insurance policy today!

(End commercial. Yet another commercial begins)

Commercial Narrator: Do you like music? Then you need the pokemon sing along CD! It has songs from your favorite pokemon artists like Pinky and Pastell:

Pinky and Pastell: “Lulllaaabbbyyyy”

Commercial Narrator: And Snubbull with his version of “Who let the Dogs out?”, “Who let the Sunbbulls out?” :

Snubbull: “Who let the Snubbulls out! Woof, woof woof woof woof!”

Commercial Narrator: And Bellossom with “I am a super pokemon”:

Bellossom: “I AM a super pokemon! I AM a super pokemon!”

Commercial Narrator: And Raikou, Entei, and Suicune, The Legendary Dog Trio, with their smash hit “ Try to catch us mortals”:

Raikou: “Just try it!”

Entei: “We dare you”

Suicune: “Just try to catch us mortals!”

Commercial Narrator: And a whole lot more including: Aipom, The 2 kings: Kingdra and Slowking, Sudowoodo, We aren’t losers, The Coolest Band ever, Elekid, and many, MANY more! Just buy the Pokemon sing along CD! It only costs 19.99! Only on Murkrow Records. Call 1-500-555-9999 to order yours today! They also make great gifts! Remember: The Pokemon Sing Along CD on Murkrow Records. Buy one today!

(end commercial. Finally, TPAMS returns)

Thunder: Welcome back! Murkrow Records? They are getting too obvious.

Mew: SHHH!

Lightning: Jay-z is cool.

Thunder: Where did that come from?

Lightning: Mew Two has a radio on and I hear Jay-Z.

Mew Two: Yes. I rather like this song.

Thunder, Mew, and Lightning: MEW TWO ENJOYING JAY-Z!?

Mew Two: Shut up. Are you ready for your next guest yet?

Mew: Yeah.

Mew Two: Ok. Your next guest is Bugsy.

(He walks on to the stage.)

Thunder: Hi.

Mew: Hello.

Lightning: “I’m a hustler baby..” Oh hi.

Mew: SING JAY-Z LATER!

Bugsy: Ummmm..... hi.

Thunder: Do you train Ledyba, Heracross, Spinarak, Ledian, or Ariados?

Bugsy: Nope.

Mew: NONE of them?

Bugsy: None of them.

Lightning: Why do you have such a stupid name?

Bugsy: Perhaps I think you have a stupid name. Pichu is a stupid name.

Lightning: I AM A RAICHU! I have a cousin that is a Pichu so you better stop talking too.

Bugsy: Make me.

Thunder: NO FIGHTING! You will leave now Bugsy since you aggravated Lightning.

Lightning: Yeah! Get the hell out!

Bugsy: Fine.

(He walks off the stage.)

Lightning: He sucked any way.

Mew: He was here for 3 minutes.

Thunder: He still sucked.

Mew Two: Since when do you 2 agree on anything?

Lightning: We get along very well thank you.

Thunder: Yeah. Just because he’s my brother doesn’t mean we can’t get along.

Mew: See viewers, Thunder and Lightning are brothers, and they hardly ever agree on anything.

Lightning: We do to!

Thunder: Yeah!

Mew: Who’s older?

Lightning: Me.

Thunder: Yep.

Mew Two: Isn’t that lovely. Your next guest is Whitney.

Mew: Send her out.

(She walks onto the stage)

Mew: Hi.

Thunder: Hey.

Lightning: Was up?

Whitney: Hello.

Lightning: Aren’t you the whinny b**** with the Miltank?

Whitney: Yes.

Mew: You let him call you a whinny b****?

Whitney: Everyone else does.

Thunder: Uhhh.... Riight. So, do you have any complaints about your paycheck?

Whitney: Hell yes! We are getting screwed! Giovanni gets paid twice as much as I do! No wait.... 6 times as much.

Mew: How much does he get paid?

Whitney: 60,000 a year.

Lightning: 60,000 G’s!? Are you serious!? For being a gym leader!?

Whitney: YES! And he’s never even there!

Thunder: I’d be PO’ed too.

Lightning: Word.

Mew: How is that possible?

Whitney: The better you are, the more you get paid. He never loses, plus he gets the yearly bonus for having the best record. But it isn’t fair! He doesn’t get half as many challengers as the rest of us do!

Thunder: Who pays you guys?

Whitney: The elite four.

Thunder: They aren’t in your league.

Whitney: Johto doesn’t have an equivalent to them so the people that beat the 8 Johto gyms go there just like the Kanto winners.

Lightning: I bet that’s why the Kanto gym leaders get paid more.

Mew: I’d buy that.

Whitney: Yeah. I’m going to kill Lance next time I see him.

Thunder: Why? Does he sign the check?

Whitney: Yeah.

Mew: Wasn’t he backstage?

Whitney: No. He called the Charizard.

Mew: Blossom?

Whitney: yeah. And he said he wasn’t coming till we all left.

Lightning: Smart guy.

Thunder: Word.

Whitney: He definitely wouldn’t have survived till his turn had he showed up.

Mew: I bet. Well, you can go now.

Whitney: Ok. BYE!

(she walks off the stage)

Lightning: It looks like Lance is going to have a lot of explaining to do.

Mew: Yep. Next.

Mew Two: Next up is... eeewwwww.... Morty.

(he walks on to the stage.)

Thunder: Hi. Why were you glaring at Mew Two?

Morty: Hi. He looked like a useful psychic pokemon. I like psychic pokemon.

Mew: I thought you trained ghost pokemon.

Morty: Psychic pokemon are better. I want to be like my new hero!

Thunder: Who’s that?

Morty: Sabrina! You look useful too Mew.

Mew: Don’t even think about it. We already have a trainer.

Morty: Damn. Well, if you ever decide you want a new trainer, i’ll do it!

Mew Two: Thanks. We’ll remember that. NOT!

Thunder: Any way, you are from the coolest city.

Morty: Ecruteak?

Thunder: “Ecruteak City!” I should be on that Pokemon Sing Along CD from Murkrow Records only 19.99 per copy call 1-500-555-9999 to get yours today. Phew. It’s hard to sneak commercials into the show.

Mew: Stop that. Speaking of, we have to do a commercial break after Morty. Don’t worry, this one will be shorter.

Thunder: I have nothing more to say to Morty.

Mew: Neither do I. Lightning?

Lightning: Nope.

Thunder: Ok. Bye Morty.

Morty: Bye!

(He walks off the stage.)

Mew: Now it’s time for some commercials. But TPAMS will be back soon!

The Pikachu and Mew Show will return in a moment.

(the screen fades out. then, the commercial fades in and begins.)

Who’s your favorite character on The Pikachu and Mew Show?

Girl: MEW!

Boy: Thunder!

Girl: Mew Two! I LOVE Mew Two! (Kaytee!)

Do you want to see your favorite characters in person?

The 3 kids: YEAH!

Well now you can on The Pikachu and Mew Show Winter Tour! Thunder, Mew, Mew Two, and some of their friends like: Lightning, Blossom, Kem, and a few favorite guests will soon be in a city near you answering your questions, signing autographs, and taking show suggestions! They’ll also even have contest for you the viewers to win guest spots on the show!

The 3 kids: NO WAY!

(End commercial. a new commercial begins)

Thunder: Hello. My name is Thunder and I'm a host of The Pikachu and Mew Show. But that’s not what I'm here to talk to you about. I’m here to talk to you about...... Rabid Pikachu Syndrome or, RPS as it’s sometimes called. RPS is a very devastating disease. My older brother Lightning had it when he was little and nearly died. It’s very easy to catch, but very difficult to treat. I’m here today to urge you to get a vaccine for it immediately following today’s episode of TPAMS, not sooner. You NEED to watch this episode. Any way, get the vaccine like I did. Don’t end up weak and sickly like Lightning is today as a result. Go! Thank you.

Commercial Narrator: Paid for buy the Rabid Pikachu Syndrome prevention clinic of greater Viridian City.

(End commercial. a new commercial begins. you see a boy and a girl sitting on the floor of a house with gameboys)

Boy: Well I have a Donphan, a Ampharos, a Sneasel, a Houndoom, a Bayleef, and a Croconaw!

Girl: Well I have a Togepi, a Marril, a Houndour, a Wooper, a Furret, and a Quilava!

Boy: That’s it!?

Girl: Yeah!

Commercial Narrator: Is this what your kids sound like? Does it bother you? If you answered yes to both of these questions, call MEW! Mew will scare your kids back into line.

Mew: QUIET NOW! You’re mom is trying to sleep.

Boy and Girl: (shaking) O....okay..... M.... Mew.

Commercial Narrator: Try the Mew child behavior corrector service. It’ll be the best $50 you’ll ever spend! Call 555-Mew1. That’s 555-Mew1. Call today!

(End commercial. TPAMS returns.)

Thunder: Welcome Back!

Mew: Yeah.

Lightning: Why did you have to remind me about the time I had RPS?

Thunder: They asked me to make the people and Pikachu’s alike aware of RPS and how to prevent it.

Mew: Good job Thunder. Now, how about sending out the next gym leader.

Mew Two: Ok. Next up is Chuck of Cianwood City. He’s carrying a note for Lightning.

(He walks onto the stage and hands Lightning the note. Then he sits down)

Thunder: Hi Chuck.

Chuck: Hi. Did you know that Mew Two is listening to Tu Pac back there?

Mew: No. that isn’t like him. Who would have guessed? Any way, is your real name Charles?

Chuck: Yes.

Thunder: Are you as outraged as Falkner and Whitney about your paycheck?

Chuck: Yeah. I have a family to support.

Lightning: This is so stupid Mew Two.

Mew Two: Just say it.

Lightning: Fine. Sentret. Continue the interview.

Mew: Uhhh... Ok. Who do you believe is responsible for it?

Chuck: Lance. I want to kill him!

Thunder: You and all your Johto gym leader friends. Why do you think he’s responsible?

Chuck: Because he is. As leader of the elite four, he is AUTOMATICALLY responsible.

Mew: I see. Do you think Giovanni had anything to do with it?

Chuck: I can’t say yes. He scares me. I don’t like him.

Thunder: He’s a crabby jerk huh?

Chuck: Yes. But I shouldn’t say that either. He’s bigger than me. He could beat the crap out of me.

Mew: He could, but he won’t. He’s not that kind of person.

Lightning: Mareep.

Thunder: What the hell are you doing Lightning?

Lightning: Blissey.

Mew: Uhhhh..... Ok. Any way, if me and Thunder helped you, would you protest?

Chuck: Yeah. $10,000 a year doesn’t get you very far.

Thunder: Can you say show idea Mew?

Mew: I can! TPAMS live from the Johto gym leader protest. It’ll be great!

Thunder: Write that down Tracey (he’s backstage).

Mew Two: Thunder and Mew, your Johto monument team just got to the first monument.

Mew: Took them long enough. Let’s talk to them.

(the screen changes. You see Kem, Blossom, and evil Thunder at the Tin Tower. you hear Mew’s voice)

Mew: What took you so long?

Kem: We saw a store. Sorry. Wow. Look at the tower. Ho-oh lives there. It’s made of metal. I’m done. We’ll get back to you in a few when we get to the Burnt Tower.

Thunder: Ok.

(the picture changes again. You see Thunder and Mew again)

Thunder: Well Chuck, tell the other gym leaders to stay put and we’ll organize a protest during the next commercial.

Chuck: Ok. Bye!

(he walks off the stage.)

Mew: This is getting big.

Thunder: Yeah. What do you think Lightning?

Lightning: Quagsire. Definitely Quagsire.

Mew: What does that note say.

(Lightning hands the note to Mew)

Mew: Funny.

(she gives it back)

Thunder: Any way, send out the next leader Mew Two.

Mew Two: Next up is Jasmine.

(She walks on to the stage)

Mew: Hi.

Thunder: Hi.

Lightning: Steelix.

Jasmine: I train one of those.

Lightning: Pineco?

Jasmine: No. Steelix.

Mew: Ignore him. Are you going to protest too?

Jasmine: Against the pokemon league? Of course! I’ve been trying to protest for weeks but no one would join me because they were afraid of losing their jobs.

Thunder: Well, if you lose your jobs, we’ll get you new ones free of charge.

Jasmine: Thank you.

Mew: Don’t mention it.

Lightning: Smeargle.

Thunder: Ugh. Any way, don’t you guys have contracts or anything?

Jasmine: No. But we’re going to get some now. We now see what a mistake not demanding them was.

Mew: At least you’ve learned something.

Thunder: Are there any other things you want to complain about while you're at it?

Jasmine: Ok. I want some trainers in my gym. And I want Lance kicked out of the elite four and I want Giovanni to be disqualified from the yearly bonus competition.

Mew: It that it?

Jasmine: For starters.

Thunder: I bet you could go on all day.

Lightning: Stantler.

Mew: I’m out of questions.

Thunder: Me too.

Lightning: Sunkern.

Jasmine: Can I ask you a question? Besides this one I mean.

Thunder: Go for it.

Jasmine: If the 2 of you are brothers, and he’s the same level as you are, how come he’s evolved and you aren’t?

Thunder: Who told you we were the same level?

Jasmine: Mew Two.

Thunder: Well, we are. Kem wanted to evolve him and not me I guess.

Jasmine: How did your trainer luck out and get 2 Pikachus from the same family?

Thunder: She picked us. It wasn’t luck.

Jasmine: One more question. Do you have any other siblings? Ok. Two more. And, are you related to evil Thunder?

Thunder: Yes. He’s our cousin.

Jasmine: You DO have other siblings?

Thunder: Yes.

Jasmine: Evil Thunder is your cousin.

Thunder: Yes.

Jasmine: Are they sisters or brothers?

Lightning: WE HAVE 2 SISTERS AND ONE OTHER BROTHER NOW STOP ASKING QUESTIONS! Hitmontop.

Jasmine: Ok. Ok.

Mew: You can go now Jasmine.

Jasmine: Ok. Bye.

(She walks off the stage)

Lightning: Why was she asking so damn many questions about our f-ing family. Sunflora.

Thunder: She was curious.

Lightning: She needs to mind her own damn business. Shuckle.

Thunder: Yeah. Yeah.

Mew: Next Guest Mew Two.

Mew Two: Your next guest is Pryce.

(he walks onto the stage)

Thunder: Hello.

Mew: Hi.

Lightning: Espeon.

Pryce: Yes I plan to protest with you. Yes I wish Lance would die. I like Fruit Cake.

Mew: Uhhh..... Riiight. You train ice pokemon right?

Pryce: That is correct.

Thunder: You know I could kick their a-es right?

Pryce: Probably.

Thunder: You are agreeing so nicely today. I love it.

Lightning: Togetic Umbrellamon. I mean, Umbreon. Sorry.

Mew: That’s a sad way to finish off the list Lightning.

Lightning: Piloswine word.

Pryce: I train a Piloswine.

Mew: They’s ugly.

Thunder: Word.

Lightning: Those are my phrases Crobat.

Mew: Flaffy.

Thunder: Any way, what else is new with you?

Pryce: Nothing really. I did want to say something while I was on TV though.

Mew: Go ahead.

Pryce: Ok. Thank you. I just wanted to say that my gym is officially closed as of now because I want to start the protest now. Thank you.

Thunder: Preach on Pryce!

Mew: Yeah!

Lightning: Skiploom! Forretress too!

Pryce: Thank you. Thank you.

Mew: You can leave now unless you had anything else to say.

Pryce: Nope. Bye.

(He walks off the stage.)

Thunder: Well, it’s time for another commercial break. When we get back, we’ll talk to our monument group, interview the remaining Johto gym leader and Lance, and a suprise guest that was just added about 10 minutes ago. Stay tuned!

Mew: And for those of you who are trying to win the guest hosting spot, we have named 58 of the 60 Johto pokemon. We haven’t gotten any calls yet either. Wake up! Get ready to call! The person that gets the closest to the 60 wins so you’d better be ready! We’ll be right back.

TPAMS will return in a moment.

(The screen fades. A picture appears and a commercial begins)

Commercial Narrator: Are you looking for a gift for a child this holiday season? Well, why not get a Pokemon Baby from Pokemon Babies are Us, or PBRS as we like to call it. At PBRS you can find:

Pichus

Cleffas

Igglybuffs

Togepis

and many more!

Check us out. We’re Pokemon Babies are Us. Located at 11900934543 Bayleef Road, Mahogany Town, Johto. And 49506873027 Kingdra Terrace, Viridian City, Kanto. Or you can call our PBRS hotline at 1-560-555-PBRS. Or check us out online at www.PknnBabysaReuS.com.

(end commercial. a new commercial begins)

Children: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s MEW! NOOOOOO!!!! WE’LL BE GOOD! WE PROMISE!

Commercial Narrator: Have you called the Mew Child Behavior Corrector Service yet? Why the hell not!? Pick up your damn phone and call 555-Mew1 to shut your damn kids up! It doesn’t matter where you live! The fricken number is still the same. Just call already! That number again is 555-Mew1. CALL NOW!

(end commercial. a new commercial begins)

Lightning: Cleffa. Igglybuff. Watch TPAMS.

(end commercial. TPAMS returns)

Mew: What the hell was that last commercial?

Lightning: Stuff. (he whispers something to Mew)

Mew: Oh. Ok. Send out the last gym leader.

Mew Two: That would be..... Clair.

(She walks onto the stage)

Thunder: Hi.

Mew: Hey.

Lightning: Rai.

Thunder: Pika Pikachu.

Lightning: Rai chu Rai Rai.

Thunder: Chu.

Lightning: (laughing hysterically) Word!

Clair: O....kay..... Hi.

Thunder: Sorry.

Mew: Will you join the protest Clair?

Clair: I don’t know. I might.

Thunder: How can you not?

Clair: I don’t know. I guess I probably should....

Lightning: Will you protest or not?

Clair: I’ll protest.

Lightning: Was that so hard?

Clair: I guess not.

Thunder: Pika pi ka chu. I heard everyone’s best friend Lance is from your town.

Clair: Yes. It’s a lovely place to train Dragons.

Mew: Is that why you train them?

Clair: Yes.

Thunder: Why does your gym have lava in it?

Clair: Fun. I got bored and had them put it there one day.

Mew: What’s with the Dragon’s Den thing?

Clair: You catch dragons there. And you can visit the shrine if you want.

Thunder: Speaking of... We better check on Kem.

(The screen changes.)

Thunder: Hi Kem.

Kem: It’s about fricken time. Ohh. Burnt Tower.

Blossom: The legendary dogs were here when the were in statue form.

evil Thunder: And Lugia flew away from here when it burnt down.

Kem: And now we head to Dragon’s Den. Bye.

Mew: Thanks Kem.

(you see Thunder and Mew again)

Mew: As you were saying Clair.

Clair: It’s just there.

Thunder: Ok. Hmmmm.... Was Lance always an evil, favorite picking, jerk?

Clair: That depends on who you ask.

Mew: He’s asking you.

Clair: He was and is evil.

Thunder: Why?

Clair: Do you really need to ask?

Thunder: Yeah.

Clair: He always thought he was better than me. I want to shoot him.

Mew: Doesn’t everyone?

Thunder: Hmmm..... That’s all I've got.

Mew: Me too.

Lightning: Is he here yet Clair?

Clair: Who?

Lightning: Lance.

Clair: If he is he wasn’t in the waiting room with the rest of us.

Lightning: Mew Two, do you know?

Mew Two: No. But your other guest is here.

Mew: Ok. You can go Clair.

(She walks off the stage.)

Mew Two: Oh. Here he is. Go get yelled at now.

Lance: Do I have to.

Mew Two: Go now before I have to use force.

Lance: Fine.

(he walks on to the stage)

Thunder: Sit.

Mew: Lets talk shall we.

Lance: I’d rather go home now...

Lightning: Sit and talk or we’ll let your friends join in on the conversation.

(He sits down)

Mew: Very good. Why do the Kanto gym leaders get paid more.

Lance: I don’t know.

Thunder: Let me repeat the question for you. WHY DO THE KANTO GYM LEADERS GET PAID MORE!?

Lance: They scare me.

Lightning: Why do the Johto trainers get paid so little?

Lance: The extra money the Kanto gym leaders get has to come from somewhere.

Mew: Why does Giovanni keep getting the bonus if he’s never at his gym and doesn’t battle as much as the others do?

Lance: That’s Loreli’s department.

Mew: Do I have to say it again?

Lance: It is! SHE gives out the bonus. SHE is responsible for keeping track of the records.

Lightning: And I suppose Bruno and Agatha are in charge of paying the others.

Lance: They are! They don’t ask me anything! They just make me sign it so they get mad at me!

Mew: Excuses....

Thunder: Excuses.

Lightning: You really should be more creative.

Mew: Well, I hope you’re happy.

Lance: Why?

Thunder: Haven’t you been watching?

Mew: All your Johto gyms are on strike.

Lance: What!? They can’t do that.

Lightning: Just a sec.

(He runs back stage. A minute later he comes back with a briefcase.)

Lightning: Sorry. Any way, they can and will. I’m the lawyer hired by the Johto gym leaders. They’re suing the elite four and the Kanto gyms for back pay. And they don’t work until they get contracts.

Lance: What!?

Lightning: “That’s just the way it is...”

Mew: SHHH..

Lightning: You’re no fun. Any way, we’ll see you in court. I hope you have a good lawyer.

Lance: Who’s the judge?

Mew Two: Me.

Lance: Great.

Thunder: I’m the Bailiff!

Mew: And I'm the clerk!

Lightning: If you and the Kanto gym leaders fail to get a lawyer on your own, evil Thunder the Raichu will represent you. And he didn’t go to law school. i’ll kick his ass.

Lance: Thanks guys.

Mew: Don’t mention it. Bye now.

(he walks off the stage.)

Thunder: Now we check in with Kem.

(Kem, Blossom, and evil Thunder appear on screen)

Kem: Dragon’s Den.

Blossom: Dragon Pokemon Shrine.....

evil Thunder: and great place to catch them. Back to you losers.

(you see Mew and Thunder again)

Thunder: Thanks guys. And now we talk to our final guest.

Mew Two: And that is..... Giovanni!

(He walks on to the stage.)

Mew: Hi.

Thunder: Hey.

Lightning: Was up?

Giovanni: Hi. What do you need?

Thunder: Why do you get paid the most? All the Johto gym leaders hate you for it. They’re suing you and the others on your side you know.

Giovanni: I have a very good lawyer.

Lightning: So do they.

Giovanni: Who?

Lightning: Me.

Giovanni: They’ll be sorry.

Mew: Do you really think it’s fair for you to get paid as much as you do while they get almost nothing?

Giovanni: They need to try harder.

Lightning: That’s kinda cold dude.

Giovanni: Am I supposed to care?

Mew: This is hopeless.

Giovanni: I agree.

Thunder: Oh well. I guess we give up then.

Lightning: Ok. But we’ll see him in court.

Giovanni: If you insist.

Thunder: Crap.

Mew: What?

Thunder: We’re out of guests, Kem did all the landmarks she cared to visit, and we still have 20 minutes left.

Giovanni: Hmmm.... Well I think it sucks to be you.

Lightning: Shut up.

Mew: Lets just do the last commercial break and we’ll think of a plan then.

Thunder: Ok. We’ll be right back!

TPAMS will return momentarily.

(the screen fades. the a new commercial begins)

Commercial Narrator: Do you like The Pikachu and Mew Show?

Children: YEAH!

Commercial Narrator: Do you wish you could watch it when ever you want instead of just every night from 7 to 8?

Group of Teenagers: Yeah!

Commercial Narrator: Then you need The Pikachu and Mew Show Pretend Talk Show Studio!

Children and Teenagers: The Pikachu and Mew Show Pretend Talk Show Studio?

Commercial Narrator: Yes! It’s 2 beanbag chairs, 2 real chairs, 2 glasses of water, a TPAMS backdrop, a Thunder costume, and a Mew costume! It even includes a booklet on how to insult your guests!

Children and Teenagers: Wow!

Commercial Narrator: Go on kids! Give it a try!

(A new screen appears. 2 kids are in the Thunder and Mew costumes, and another kid is sitting in one of the guest chairs)

Girl: (as Mew) Why are you so stupid and dumb?

Boy: (as Thunder) Use the book Mew.

Girl: (as Mew) Oh yeah. Let me see..... Why are you so moronic and Ash-like?

Boy: (as Thunder) Much better.

Commercial Narrator: Isn’t this fun kids!?

Kids: YEAH!

Commercial Narrator: OK! So run out and get your The Pikachu and Mew Show Pretend Talk Show Studio today!

(end commercial. a new commercial starts. you see Giovanni and Mew are sitting in a room)

Mew: HI. I’m Mew of The Pikachu and Mew Show. I’m here to talk to you about The TPAMS Holiday Fund for life lacking people. We need donations this holiday season to get people like Giovanni here a life. You do need a life, don’t you Giovanni?

Giovanni: *sigh* Yes Mew. I really want you to get me a life.

Mew: So, lets recap. We need donations to get lifeless people like Giovanni lives. I hope you’ll help us! Bye! Say bye Giovanni!

Giovanni: *sigh* Bye. Can I leave now?

Mew: No! Shut up and pretend you mean it!

(end commercial. A new commercial begins.)

Commercial Narrator: This is the last time I'm asking, DID YOU CALL THE MEW CHILD BEHAVIOR CORRECTOR SERVICE YET!? DO IT NOW! CALL 555-Mew1 NOW! STOP WAITING! CALL ALREADY! That number again is 555-Mew1. Call today!

(end commercial. TPAMS returns)

Mew: Do you think anyone will call the child corrector service?

Thunder: Maybe. Any way, Ok viewers. We have 15 minutes left. Now it’s time to preview tomorrow's episode!

Mew: Tomorrow on TPAMS, our guests will be Thunder and Lightning’s parents,....

Thunder and Lightning: WHAT!?

Mew: You heard me right. Your parents. We’ll also have Tuxedo Mask and Rini: AKA Sailor Mini Moon, Giovanni,....

Giovanni: Why do you keep inviting me here?

Thunder: I dunno. Do you want a job?

Giovanni: Not really.

Mew: Well you’re getting to be like that lady on Melrose Place. She was on every episode through most of the run of the show, but she was always listed as a guest star.

Thunder: Yeah. Any way, We’ll also have Ash, Richie, a suprise guest or 2, and Kem’s dog Sparky.

Mew: We’ll also announce the winner to the “go go to Johto” contest.

Lightning: All that and a whole lot more, including me, tomorrow on TPAMS!

Thunder: That’s right! Bye!

Mew: Bye-ness!

Lightning: Peace out!

Giovanni: Ugh. I need some aspirin.

That’s it for today’s episode of TPAMS. Tune in tomorrow to see a whole lot of cool stuff. Until then, we’ll see you around.