Thunder: Hello and welcome to TPAMS episode 17!

Mew: Good God! 17 episodes!?

Lightning: Talk about lucky.

Thunder: Yeah.

Mew: Any way, have we got a great show for you today!

Thunder: Yeah! We have my parents, Ash and Richie, Tuxedo Mask and Rini, Giovanni, Kem’s dog Sparky, and more if we have time!

Mew: Yeah! And no commercials today!

Thunder and Mew: SCORE!

Lightning: *Sigh* These 2 depress me.

Mew Two: Tell me about it. How about sending out your first guest already.

Thunder: After I announce the winner of the “Go Go to Johto” contest.

Mew: Well who is it already!?

Thunder: Ok. And the winner of the “I want to go go to Johto to host your show show” contest is...... Mega Dude from Ecruteak City. And because he’s such a great guy, Sabrina’s Head Assistant from Viridian City!

Mew: Lets give them both a hand.

Lightning: Wait a second. If he’s Sabrina’s Head Assistant, why does he live in Viridian City?

Thunder: I don’t write the entries I just announce the winners. So give them a hand and stop complaining.

Lightning: Fine.

Mew: Show....

Thunder: Right. Let’s have the first guest then.

Mew Two: Your first guests are Mr. and Mrs. Chupi.

Thunder and Lightning: AHHHHHH!!!!

(Their parents walk on to the stage.)

Mrs. Chupi: There are my babies! How are you?

Thunder: Uhhh....

Lightning: We’re fine mom.

Mr. Chupi: Hmmm... Lovely show you have here son.

Thunder: Uhhhh... Thanks dad. But it wouldn’t have been possible with out Mew.

Mew: Hi!

Mrs. Chupi: Hi Mew! How are you dear?

Mew: I’m fine. Did you talk to Mew Two?

Mr. Chupi: Now that boy has some problems. He complained about what color the “on” button for his death ray should be for an hour..

Mew Two: Red or Green!? Red or Green!? I can’t decide!

Thunder: Uh-huh. So what brings you here today mom and dad?

Mrs. Chupi: Well, Mew called and asked us to come to the show. (To Thunder) Don’t worry dear. Her parents will be here tomorrow.

Mew: Not funny!

Mrs. Chupi: I’m serious. They’re coming all the way from Legendary Land to be here.

Mew: AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lightning: Revenge! Thanks mom!

Mr. Chupi: This is how your show always is? Boy, in my day, they actually interviewed people on talk shows.

Mew: We were just a little sidetracked. On with the interview! Were Thunder and Lightning trouble makers when they were little?

Mrs. Chupi: Oh no. My boys were so nice and well behaved.

Mr. Chupi: Thunder was any way. Lightning was a little hoodlum.

Lightning: Word.

Mew: Really?

Mr. Chupi: Yes! He got in trouble in our village all the time. He either had his gang of thugs scaring little kids or they were loitering.

Mrs. Chupi: But he grew out of that fairly quickly. And he did do very well in school.

Mew: He is pretty smart.

Lightning: No s.... I mean, no duh Mew.

Thunder: (To Lightning) You know mom still pulls the soap root on people right?

Lightning: (To Thunder) I stopped myself.

Mew: ANY WAY, Do you have any other kids?

Mrs. Chupi: Yes. 2 more sons and 2 daughters.

Mew: How come I haven’t met any of them?

Mr. Chupi: They’re in the guest lounge.

Mew: Send them-

(Thunder and Lightning cover her mouth and begin dragging her to the side of the stage)

Thunder: One moment parents. Heh heh....

(Over by the side of the stage....)

Lightning: Mew you moron! We have the most hyperactive siblings on the face of the earth!

Thunder: Yeah! If you bring them out it will be nothing but trouble!

Mew: Psht. What ever. I want to meet them.

Lightning: Fine.

Thunder: But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

(They walk back to center stage)

Mew: SEND THEM OUT MEW TWO!

Thunder: This is going to be bad.

Lightning: Uh-huh.

(2 pikachus, a Raichu, and a Pichu run on to the stage)

Mew: Ahh! They look just like you! What are their names?

Mrs. Chupi: The Pichu is Sparkles. She’s the baby of the family. She’s 2. The Pikachu with the bow is Thundrina. She’s 7. And the other Pikachu is Sparks. He’s 12. And the Raichu is Shocker. He’s 20. Say hi kids.

Mew Two: WAIT! I thought you had one brother and 2 sisters.

Mr. Chupi: They tend to deny Shocker’s existence.

Mew: Why.

Thunder: You’ll see.

Lightning: I’m sure of that.

Sparkles: Brothers!

(She runs over and hugs Lightning. Then she hugs Thunder)

Mew: Awww... She’s so cute. How old are these 2.

Mrs. Chupi: You don’t know? Oh. They’re both 17. They’re twins.

Mew Two: You’re kidding right?

Mr. Chupi: Oh no we aren’t.

Mew: You never told us that.

Thunder: We didn’t think that mattered.

Mew Two: Then how is Lightning older?

Lightning: I was born first.

Shocker: What? Your birth was a curse? We already know that Lightning.

Lightning: Shut up.

Shocker: Make me.

Mr. Chupi: Be nice to your brother Shocker.

Shocker: Fine.

Mew: You’re kind of a jerk Shocker.

Shocker: And you’re irritating as hell but I keep my opinions to myself. Oops. Did I say that out loud?

Mew: Heh heh. Jerk. Any way, Hi Sparkles.

Sparkles: Hi.

Mew: How are you today?

Sparkles: Ummm... good. Really good.

Mew: Why is that?

Sparkles: I got to see my brothers!

(She hugs them both again.)

Mew: Which one do you like better?

Sparkles: Ummmmm...... Lightning!

Lightning: That’s my sister!

Thunder: I have no sister.

Mrs. Chupi: The younger siblings tend to attach themselves to only 1 of the older ones. Sparkles is like Lightning, Thundrina is like Thunder, and Sparks is like Lightning too I guess.

Mew: Why is no one like Shocker?

Thunder: Take a guess.

Mew: Oh yeah. So Thundrina, why are you more like Thunder than Lightning or Shocker?

Thundrina: Shocker is mean and Lightning is too loud and noticed. I like to keep to myself. So does Thunder. That’s why we get along so well.

Thunder: That’s my sister. I knew I had one.

Shocker: Now all you have to do is find your brain.

Thunder: Shut up!

Shocker: Make me.

Lightning: Dude, leave him alone. He didn’t do anything to you so just shut up.

Mew: Is this how all holiday gatherings sound at your house?

Mrs. Chupi: Yes. Everyone against Shocker. Except Thunderbolts.

Mew: Thunderbolts? Who’s that?

Thunder: Evil Thunder.

Mew Two: That’s his name?

Lightning: He shortens it to Thunder because it’s easier on people. Not that he cares or anything.

Mr. Chupi: Don’t you live with him?

Mew: Sadly.

Mew Two: Don’t complain. You don’t have to share a room with him.

Mew: True. Any way, hi Sparks.

Sparks: Sup.

Mew: You are Lightning’s brother.

Sparks: Word.

Mew: Why do you like Lightning better?

Sparks: He don’t be haten’ like Shocker and he don’t be a wuss like Thunder.

Thunder: Hey!?

Sparks: Sorry bro but it’s for real.

Mew Two: Lightning, his sentences are even more incoherent then yours are.

Lightning: Livin’ wit’ you fixed my grammar.

Mew Two: Livin’ wit’?

Lightning: “Living with”. Sorry.

Sparks: Don’t hate Mew Two. He just be tryin’ to keep up on his ebonics.

Mew Two: Pay attention in school.

Sparks: ‘Aight.

Mew Two: Lightning, you have officially ruined your brother.

Lightning: Word.

Mr. Chupi: What have we told you about talking like that Sparks.

Sparks: Don’t hate Dad. You never hate on Lightning for it. Let a brother speak man.

Mrs. Chupi: We don’t control Lightning anymore. So you behave now.

Sparks: ‘Aight mom.

(She gives him that mom glare that only moms can do right. You know the one)

Sparks: I mean, yes mother.

Mew: Have I talked to everyone now?

Shocker: You didn’t talk to me.

Mew: And you wonder why.

Thunder: Sorry family, but we need to get to the next guest now.

Mrs. Chupi: Ok. Be good boys.

Thunder: Ok mom.

Lightning: You know I will mama.

(The Chupi family walks off the stage)

Thunder: Thank God that’s over.

Lightning: Word.

Thunder: Who’s next Mew Two?

(He says nothing)

Mew: Mew Two? Are you Ok?

(No response)

Lightning: Mew Two! Dude! Are you Ok!?

(No answer)

Mew: I better go see what’s wrong.

(She goes back stage. A moment later, they hear a scream)

Thunder and Lightning: Mew!

(They go to see what’s wrong)

Thunder: Mew are you-- Hi Mew’s mom.

Mrs. Meowie: Hi Thunder.

Lightning: Why are Mew and Mew Two lying unconscious on the floor?

Mrs. Meowie: They were just so suprised to see me.

(They regain consciousness)

Mew: What are you doing here!?

Mrs. Meowie: I came to be on your show dear.

Mew Two: I thought you were coming tomorrow. I had made plans not to be here.

Mrs. Meowie: You’re so funny Mew Two. But seriously, I wanted to come early.

Mew: Where’s daddy?

Mrs. Meowie: Where is he!? he must have wandered off again. Oh well.

Thunder: Why are you frightened and shocked Mew Two? They aren’t your parents.

Mew Two: Not directly.

Mew: A clone is basically a twin genius.

Mew Two: Thus, her parents are my parents. And they honestly believe that.

Mrs. Meowie: Of course we do dear. why wouldn’t we?

Lightning: Why don’t you come to the stage so the audience can hear your interview.

Mrs. Meowie: Ok. Come kids.

Mew Two: I stay backstage. It’s my job.

Mrs. Meowie: Now Mew Two.

Mew Two: Yes mother.

(They all walk back to the stage)

Thunder: Ok! Hi Mew’s mom!

Mrs. Meowie: Just call me mom Thunder.

Thunder: But you aren’t my mom.

Mew: EVERYONE calls her mom Thunder.

Thunder: Ok. So mom, do you have any other kids?

Mrs. Meowie: Well, there’s Mew and Mew Two, then there’s their 3 sisters: Mystic, Meowzie, and Pinkie.

Lightning: How come Mew didn’t get a nickname?

Mrs. Meowie: She does have one but she asked my so nicely to quote “never EVER use that name in front of ANYONE that isn’t in our immediate family”.

Thunder: there’s no secrets here mom. Please tell.

Mew: Don’t even!

Mrs. Meowie: Ok. Hers is Ruby and--

Thunder and lightning: Ruby!?

Lightning: Why?

Mrs. Meowie: She’s more red then the rest of us. See, in some light, the pink of her fur is almost red. It seems to get lighter with age though.

Thunder: Does Mew Two have one?

Mrs. Meowie: I was getting to that.

Mew Two: No! NO! MY mother would never, EVER say that name in front of the millions of viewers.

Mew: You said mine mom. You had better say his.

Mrs. Meowie: If you’d let me speak I would. Ahem. Mew Two’s is Sunshine.

(Mew Two passes out)

Thunder and Lightning: SUNSHINE!? Are you serious!?

(They start laughing hysterically)

Thunder: Why?

Mrs. Meowie: Well, he was a ray of sunshine for our family. He was such a happy addition to it. We were all so happy when he came.

(Mew Two wakes up and sees Thunder and Lightning laughing at him. He paralyzes them.)

Mew Two: Laugh now rat boys!

Thunder: Hey!?

Lightning: Let us go Sunshine!

(He squeezes harder.)

Mrs. Meowie: Mew Two.

Mew Two: no! I’m killing them now!

Mrs. Meowie: No you aren’t. Put them down.

Mew Two: But they laughed at me.

Mrs. Meowie: Now.

(he lets them go. He sits down and starts pouting like little kids do)

Thunder: Thanks Sunshine.

Lightning: Yeah. You really ought to act more your name, Sunshine.

(he glares at them.)

Mew: Be nice guys. You know, compared to yours, my name really isn’t that bad.

(he glares at her)

Mrs. Meowie: Good boy. Just contain your anger sweetie.

Thunder: Yeah Sunshine. Don’t do something you’ll regret later.

Mew Two: I won’t regret killing you later. And my mom won’t be there to stop me either.

(Thunder and Lightning scoot their chairs away from him)

Thunder: So.... Ummmm..... did you bring any of your other kids here today?

Mrs. Meowie: No, but I can get them.

Thunder: We don’t want to cause you any trouble....

Mrs. Meowie: No no. I’ll be right back.

(She teleports away. Mew’s dad walks on to the stage)

Mr. Meowie: I found it!

Mew: hi daddy!

Mew Two: .......... (anger dots)

Mr. Meowie: Mew! How are you?

Mew: I’m fine.

Mr. Meowie: Mew Two. How are you my boy?

Mew Two: .......... (more anger dots)

Mr. Meowie: Stop pouting and sit up! Use your words. I know that is not how I taught you to express your anger.

Mew Two: ........... (anger dots)

Mr. Meowie: Soldier! Stand up!

(Mew Two gets up)

Mr. Meowie: Now, what is wrong with you boy.

Mew Two: I hate everyone.

Mr. Meowie: What did I tell you about hating everyone!?

Mew Two: *sigh* Not to do it.

Mr. Meowie: Now then. Sit down and stop hating.

Mew Two: Yes sir.

Mr. Meowie: I can’t hear you.

Mew Two: YES SIR!

Mr. Meowie: Much better.

(He sits down)

Thunder: Wow. I’ve never seen him take orders from anyone before.

Lightning: Are you some kind of military dude?

Mr. Meowie: I’m the General of defense of Legendary Land’s Army.

Thunder: Wow. So that’s why Mew screams orders at everyone.

Mew: SHUT UP NOW!

Mr. Meowie: Calm down. Don’t be angry like your brother.

(Mew Two sits in his chair with his arms crossed in a very angry fashion. Basically, you can tell he’s pissed.)

Mr. Meowie: I don’t see a smile soldier!

(Mew Two fakes a smile.)

Thunder: Where have you been sir.

Mr. Meowie: I saw some friends of mine and started talking to them. Sorry if I delayed your show any.

Mew: You’re Ok daddy.

Mr. Meowie: Where did your mother go?

Mew: To get Pinkie, Mystic and Meowzie.

(Mew’s mom and sisters teleport into the studio.)

Mrs. Meowie: There you are! Where have you been!?

Mew: Talking mom end of story.

Mystic: What did you do to Two, Mew?

Mew: Nothing. Thunder and Lightning were making fun of his name.

Pinkie: Mew Two?

Mew: Sunshine.

Meowzie: Who wouldn’t?

Mew Two: You know I can kill you right?

Mr. Meowie: Soldier! Be nice to your sister!

Mrs. Meowie: Don’t yell at him! Mew Two, dear, you need to be nice to your sister, Ok?

Mew Two: Fine.

Thunder: You have one weird family Mew.

Mew: They’re all right. Right Mew Two?

Mew Two: Someone shoot me now.

Mr. Meowie: Soldier! Stop being suicidal!

Mew Two: Fine. Someone put me in a box and bury it.

(His parents glare at him.)

Mew Two: But don’t forget an air hole.

Lightning: So, how long has Mew Two lightened up your lives by joining your family?

Mrs. Meowie: Well, he came to us about 14 years ago.

Thunder: It’s been that long?

Mew Two: I was cloned 15 years ago.

Lightning: You put up with Giovanni’s crap for 13 years?

Mew Two: No. It was actually about 6 months. Then I tried to kill the world, and on my first birthday, I joined this so called family.

Lightning: You’re only 15!? You act like you’re 50.

Mew Two: I wouldn’t say that. I was created 15 years ago. I would say I'm roughly 105.

Thunder: How do you get that?

Mew Two: 15 times 7.

Lightning: Dog years? You’re a cat.

Mew Two: There are no cat years. And even if you don’t buy that I'm at least 16 because it took me at least a year to form properly. So actually, I'm 112.

Thunder: It’s called a BIRTHday Mew Two.

Mew Two: I was NEVER BORN Thunder. If we use that logic then my age is indeterminable.

Mew: Show....

Thunder: Oh yeah! How old are those Mews?

Mrs. Meowie: Mew is 1459, Mystic is 1450, Meowzie is 1445, and Pinkie is 1438.

Lightning: They’re over 1400 years old!? You’ve got some catching up to do Mew Two.

Mew Two: Heh heh. Shut Up.

Thunder: How old are you 2 then?

Mr. Meowie: That’s 1500 for both of us.

Lightning: Why do Mews live so long?

Mrs. Meowie: It’s included in our genes. Mews share the same genes as all other Pokémon. That includes the immortality gene of Kabuto.

Thunder: So Mew’s going to live forever?

Mrs. Meowie: Basically.

Lightning: I wish I had an Immortality gene.

Thunder: Is Mew Two going to live forever?

Mrs. Meowie: We hope so.

Mew: Why wouldn’t he?

Mr. Meowie: He’s not the same as we are. His genes are far to messed up. We don’t know how long he’ll live.

Mew Two: How do you know? Sir.

Mr. Meowie: We gave some of your blood to a doctor when you started to grow up differently from your sisters. We wanted to know what was wrong with you.

Mrs. Meowie: NOTHING is wrong with him. We just wanted to know why you were different.

Mew Two: If I was never born then how did you know I was growing up wrong?

Mrs. Meowie: You were born. You ran away when you were little because you didn’t like being different. Giovanni found you and made you forget your past. we were so happy when Mew brought you back.

Mew Two: Stop right there. You aren’t making any sense. I thought I was a clone.

Mew: So did I. About 30 times in the past 10 minutes you’ve backed up that theory. what’s going on?

Mr. Meowie: We had to let you think that because we didn’t know how to explain to you why he’s so different.

Mew Two: Wait. I'm confused. Why am I different?

Mrs. Meowie: We don’t know.

Mr. Meowie: All we know is your genes are all messed up and if you continue growing the way you are you won’t live as long as the rest of us will.

Mew: Why not!?

Mrs. Meowie: Everything about him is reverse of what it’s supposed to be.

Mew Two: Wouldn’t that mean I can't exist?

Mr. Meowie: No. It just means you won’t live very long.

Pinkie: What? But if Mew Two dies, who will teach me big words to call Mystic?

Mystic: And who will do my homework for me?

Meowzie: And who will talk about stuff no one cares about for hours?

Mew: Who will be my stage manager?

Mew Two: I’m going to die!?

Mrs. Meowie: that’s not what we said!

Mew Two: They seem to think so.

Mew: But I don’t want Mew Two to die!

Mr. Meowie: You aren’t listening! It is very possible that the immortality gene could be just fine.

Mrs. Meowie: It is very wrong of us to say ALL the genes he has are wrong. they aren’t really. Some are exactly the same as everyone else's.

Thunder: But why is he so big and evil?

Mr. Meowie: We think his size is a result of a recessive gene that is extremely rare in Mews.

Mrs. Meowie: And he isn’t evil.

Mew Two: But I don’t look anything like the rest of you.

Mrs. Meowie: Mew Two, You ARE a Mew just like the rest of us. We aren’t sure why you look different but we figure that a majority of your changed genes are a result of Giovanni’s tests that he did on you.

Mew Two: Then how can you say I'm the same!? If I'm different now, and I always was, then how am I the same?

Lightning: Differences aren’t important Mew Two.

Mew Two: They are when they can kill me.

Mystic: I’m sure you’ll be fine Mew Two.

Mew Two: Because they say I will? I’ll believe no one until I figure what’s wrong with me for myself.

(He walks off the stage)

Mr. Meowie: And that’s why we didn’t want you all to know that.

Mew: You had to tell us sometime daddy.

Thunder: Where do you think he’ll go?

Mrs. Meowie: Where ever he has to to figure out why he’s the way he is.

Lightning: “ Y’all gonna make me lose my mind. Up in here! Up in here!”

(Everyone looks at him.)

Lightning: What?

(Kem walks on to the stage)

Kem: Where’s Mew Two!?

Mew: He ran off to figure out why he’s different.

Kem: Why? It’s just who he is. He isn’t going to die. Damnit! I knew I was going to get here to late!

Mrs. Meowie: How do you know he isn’t going to die?

Kem: he told me this him self. He said, and I quote:

“My genetic structure is exactly the same as Mew’s except for one extra gene”

That means his immortality gene is just fine and that he IS NOT going to die. I had no idea eternal life meant so much to him.

Thunder: He’s going to be fine?

Kem: YES!

Lightning: But he wants to know why he’s different. Can you explain that?

Kem: He was born before I was. I can’t tell you that. Listen, you continue the show, and i’ll go find him.

Mrs. Meowie: Let us help you. It’s our fault he left in the first place.

Mew: This is all fine and good but WHO WILL BE OUR STAGE MANAGER!?

Thunder: Calm down Mew. We’ll get Tracey or Van to do it and everything will be fine.

Lightning: I’ll go get one of them.

(Kem and Mew’s parents go to find Mew Two. Lightning goes to get a stage manager. Mew’s sisters go back stage. Thunder and Mew are left on the stage by themselves)

Thunder: What a mess we have for ourselves today.

Mew: Yeah. I had no idea that Mew Two was so sensitive.

Thunder: I didn’t know that he would worry him so much to be different. It never bothered him before.

Mew: He didn’t know that he was wrong before. He had always thought that he was a super clone and that was why he was different. He had an excuse for why he was different.

Thunder: This is all my fault! I never should have asked if Mew Two was immortal like you!

Mew: It’s not your fault.

Thunder: Yes it is! I want to make things right but I don’t know how!

Mew: I know! If any doctors are out there that can figure out why Mew Two is wrong then- Ummmm- I’ll give you a guest spot on the show if you can explain to him what is wrong. Yeah.

Thunder: Good idea Mew!

(Lightning walks back on to the stage)

Lightning: There. Van is your stage manager. He is getting your next guest now. And Sparky canceled. He had a vet appointment today. He said he’s be happy to come a different day and that he’s sorry if it inconvenienced you at all.

Mew: That’s Ok.

Van: Ok! Here come Tuxedo Mask and Rini. And you guys are getting lots of calls about Mew Two.

Thunder: What about him?

Van: Sightings.

Mew: Call them in to Kem’s phone please.

Van: Ok!

(He runs off to call Kem. Tuxedo Mask and Rini walk onto the stage)

Thunder: Hi. Sorry about the weirdness of today.

Rini: No problem.

Mew: Like we cared weather or not you cared. We just wanted to tell you that. And we’re calling you Darien from here on out. Tuxedo Mask is too long.

Darien: That’s fine. If you cared to know that that is fine.

Thunder: So, you’re his daughter from the future?

Rini: Yeah.

Mew: Wait. This isn’t working for me.

Darien: What?

Mew: How is that possible?

Rini: What?

Mew: Your dad has black hair.

Darien: yeah.

Mew: You’re mom’s a dumb blond.

Rini: Yeah.

Mew: Your hair is pink.

Rini: So?

Thunder: Is that possible?

Mew: Not the way I see it. I have another reason for why she has pink hair.

Rini: What’s that?

Mew: Nothin’.

Thunder: Uhhh.... What is the reason Mew?

(She whispers something to him)

Thunder: Family Programming!

Mew: Why do you think I didn’t say it!?

Thunder: Heh heh. New question now! So Darien, don’t you think you can do better that that air head you’re dating?

Darien: What’s wrong with her?

Mew: Do you really want us to get in to that?

Darien: Yes actually.

Mew: Fine. I’ll give you 2 reasons to start:

1. You’re too old for her.

2. No guy deserves such a moron for a girlfriend.

Darien: Their both strictly opinions.

Thunder: You know damn well you’re too old for her.

Lightning: Word. I just had to say something.

Mew: Talk whenever you want to.

Lightning: Ok! Wait. I knew that. Any way, I can think of like 4 other girls on that show that would be better than her.

Darien: Like.....

Lightning: (To Darien) One I can’t say because if I do Thunder will kill me and I'd rather not name the others so you’ll just have to guess.

Rini: Stop that! If her doesn’t marry my mom I won’t exist!

(Thunder, Mew, and Lightning look at each other)

Mew: Say Darien, you want to go to the Club sometime? I know some people that would LOVE to meet you.

Rini: They aren’t girls are they?

Mew: Yep. And they’re all single.

Rini: No! You can’t go!

Darien: Rini is right. I probably shouldn’t....

Lightning: You’re in college right? How do you think people look at you knowing you go out with a high school girl? She’s like 15. Not good for your image.

Darien: It’s not?

Thunder: Nope. But if you go to the Club and get a girlfriend your own age, EVERYONE will like you.

Darien: Really?

Rini: NO! If you go, get a new girlfriend, and don’t marry Serena, I won’t exist! You CAN’T go!

Mew: If my theory is right, you will exist. But lets just hope you’re right. So what do you say Darien?

Darien: Ummmm..... Ok.

Rini: NO!

Mew: Ok. How does... Today sound?

Darien: Why so soon?

Thunder: The sooner you find a new girlfriend, the better.

Lightning: Just think of how popular you will be when everyone finds out you ditched the kid and got a real girlfriend.

Darien: Ummm... Ok.

Mew: i’ll let you go home now and get a cool outfit or something. Go go.

Darien: Ok. Bye.

(He walks off the stage)

Rini: No wait!

(She runs after him)

Mew: (Laughing evilly) I think we may have rid ourselves of Rini for ever.

Thunder: Not if you’re right.

Lightning If you said that Serena-

(Mew stops him)

Mew: You know what I said.

Lightning: I do?

Mew: You KNOW what I said.

Lightning: I do? I do. Ok.

Mew: Yeah. Let’s have the next guest Van.

Van: Ok. Your next guest is Lawrence the third.

(He walks on to the stage)

Thunder: Hi!

Lightning: Sup.

Mew: HI! Didn’t we promise that you’d be back on a day that we were in a good mood Lary with 1 “r”?

Lary: You did.

Thunder: We called you back because we watched P2K yesterday.

Lary: You did?

Mew: We did. And we had some questions for you. We even wrote them down.

Thunder: Ok. Number 1. How did your airship fly? Mew Two said that the propellers were spinning to slowly to support such a massive structure.

Lary: Well..... Ummmm...... I don’t exactly know. I just paid for it.

Mew: Uh-huh. Number 2. Why did you let Ash and company out of the cage? They ruined your plan you know.

Lary: I had no desire to keep them. I don’t collect people.

Thunder: Number 3. Why did you leave them alone with Zapdos and Moltres? Can you say “Bad idea”.

Lary: They seemed perfectly harmless at the time.

Mew: number 4. How did you go from collecting Pokémon cards to actual Pokémon?

Lary: I began to set my sights on the bigger prize.

Thunder: Which was?

Lary: Lugia. The rarest Pokémon of them all.

Lightning: How do you figure? There are lots of Pokémon as rare as he is.

Lary: I didn’t know that at the time.

Thunder: Oh. Ok. Number 5. Did you realize that capturing Lugia would destroy everything including yourself?

Lary: I was aware of the consequences, I just chose to ignore them. I assumed that since it was a legend, it was just that. A legend. I never thought that it would actually happen.

Mew: Why didn’t you stop when you realized that it was happening?

Lary: I never realized that it was happening. I was to bent on reaching my goal.

Mew: Hmmm.... Number 6. What was all that other crap you had on your airship?

Lary: I collect all kinds of things, not just Pokémon.

Thunder: Number 7. How did you get back to civilization after you crashed on Ice Island?

Lary: A boat.

Mew: From....

Lary: I called someone and they sent a boat for me.

Mew: Score! I’ve been waiting to ask this question. Number 8. What’s with all the freaky, weird jewelry you wear?

Lary: I collected it. And I only wear 4 pieces.

Thunder: Where did you get them?

Lary: All over.

Mew: Which piece do you like best?

Lary: I like a ring that I got from my mother. I don’t have it with me now though.

Thunder: I see. Number 9. Did you understand the legend the first time you heard it?

Lary: What do you mean?

Mew: Did you know exactly what it meant? About Ash.

Lary: Do you know what it is?

Thunder: Wha?

Lary: Can you recite it? The legend. You know.

Mew: Oh yeah! I wrote most of it down. The important part any way. Here it is. Ahem.

Lary: Ok. I see what you’re saying now. no I didn’t. When I first heard it, I thought it meant that the 3 titans would fight, the guardian would try to stop them but would fail, and that the world would be destroyed because of it.

Mew: That’s what I thought too!

Lightning: Yeah. It wasn’t until Bitchey said “The legend is talking about you Ash” that I understood and was like “that is so obvious”.

Lary: Who’s Bitchey?

Thunder: Misty.

Lary: Oh. Well, at the time, I didn't know who Ash was, so the legend was all the more vague to me.

Mew: I see. Number 10 and the last question. Have you started collecting over again like you said you would?

Lary: Yes and No. I had lots of collected stuff at home. I really didn’t lose much. But I am still collecting.

Thunder: Did you bring your favorite piece of your collection like I asked you to?

Lary: I did. This is my Ancient Mew card. It was the very first piece of my collection.

Mew: Kem has one of those.

Lary: Yes. They’re very neat.

Thunder: Do you have a coin? Kem got a Lugia coin with the video.

Lary: I do have that. But this Mew card is my favorite. My next favorite would be the ring from my mother that isn’t here now.

Mew: Fun! You know, this is the first real interview we have ever done guys.

Thunder: it is.

Lightning: Good job.

Lary: Yes. Very good job.

Mew: one more question before we let you leave.

Lary: What’s that?

Mew: You’re ear is pierced, correct?

Lary: Yes.

Mew: Does it hurt?

Lary: No.

Mew: Are you sure?

Lary: Yes.

Mew: Kem told me that earrings hurt and that I wouldn’t want one.

Lightning: Yeah. I want one so bad.

Mew: Me too. It’s not fair.

Lary: I’m sure Kem has her reasons. Don’t worry about it.

Thunder: Thanks Lary. Bye!

Lary: Bye.

(He walks off the stage)

Mew: Who’s next Van?

Van: Next up is Ash.

(He walks onto the stage)

Mew: Hi Ash. We wrote down P2K questions for you too.

Ash: Hi, Ok. And, is Mew Two gonna be Ok?

Thunder: Kem says yeah. They just need to find him now. It’s really nice of you to care.

Ash: Why wouldn’t I?

Mew: I dunno. Ok. Number 1. Did the making of P2K change your feelings about Misty at all?

Ash: No. I still don’t like her that way.

Thunder: Number 2. What was going through your mind when you were getting the final treasure?

Ash: I wish I had a sandwich.

Mew: Are you serious!?

Ash: Yes. I was really hungry.

Mew: Number 3. What did you think of Lawrence the Third the first time you saw him?

Ash: He is really creepy looking.

Thunder: Yeah?

Ash: Yeah. Look at his hair. It’s like.... weird. And he’s really tall. And he hired one crazy ass interior decorator in his airship. Did you see the crazy cupid things on the ceiling?

Lightning: It’s Roman.

Ash: So it meant something?

Lightning: No. It’s just Roman art. I guess it’s a sign of wealth. Rich people like stuff like that.

Ash: Oh.

Thunder: Number 4. What did you think of that Melody girl?

Ash: She scared me. I am not looking for a girlfriend! Do I act like I am?

Mew: Not really.

Ash: Then why are girls constantly hitting on me!?

(Thunder, Mew, and Lightning start laughing hysterically)

Ash: What?

Mew: That just sounds really funny coming from you,

Lightning: Word.

Mew: Number 5. Did YOU understand the prophecy the first time you heard it?

Ash: No. It never occurred to me that I could save the world.

Thunder: Number 6. How did you feel when Lawrence told you his plans?

Ash: Mad. He shouldn’t treat Pokémon so badly.

Mew: Number 7. Did you get nauseous when your mom started up that “You’re my whole world” bull s***?

Ash: Not at first. But when she didn’t stop I was like “Ick. this needs to stop”.

Thunder: Number 8. Which movie did you enjoy making more? The first movie or P2K?

Ash: P2K for sure! I looked so cool in that.

Mew: If you say so. Number 9. Who are you more likely to go on a date with? Misty or Melody?

Ash: What kind of question is that!?

Mew: We’re just curious.

Ash: Ummmm...... Melody.

Lightning: You really hate Misty, don’t you?

Ash: I prefer the term “Strongly Dislike”.

Thunder: Number 10 and the last question. Did you know that “You make me sick. Got me-”

Lightning: Pink Thunder? Not cool.

Mew: I happen to like Pink’s songs.

Lightning: He didn’t need to start singing one.

Mew: True. Ask the question Thunder.

Thunder: Fine. Number 10. What were you thinking when Lugia started talking to you?

Ash: I thought I was crazy. I was hearing a voice in my head and I was scared.

Mew: Say that funny thing again Ash.

Ash: what funny thing? Oh. You mean “why are girls constantly hitting on me!?”.

Mew: Yes! You rule Ash. you totally made my day. Go on and have a nice day.

Ash: Ok. Bye.

(He walks off the stage)

Van: Next is..... Giovanni. And Richie canceled. He wasn’t feeling well. He said he come another day if you wanted him to.

Thunder; Gosh. EVERYONE is canceling today. Oh well.

(Giovanni walks on to the stage)

Mew: Hi.

Giovanni: Hello.

Thunder: Have you ever seen P2K?

Giovanni: I have.

Mew: Did you like it?

Giovanni: It was Ok.

Thunder: What was your favorite part?

Giovanni: The part where Jessie and James talk about me. I love hearing people talk about me.

Lightning: Would it be safe to guess that your favorite part of the first movie was the part with you in it.

Giovanni: Yes. And I saw what happened with Mew Two today.

Mew: Did you?

Giovanni: I did. I never thought he’d find out.

Thunder: You knew he wasn’t a clone the whole time and you didn’t say anything?

Giovanni: Yes. And I think I can explain why he has an extra gene that makes him different.

Thunder: You can!?

Giovanni: I think so. In experiments I had had done with other Pokémon, in extremely rare cases, the new Pokémon was born with extra genes that made them different. Because the gene is recessive, it doesn’t effect most of the population.

Mew: But I thought no one else has it.

Giovanni: No one else has that form of it. He got the recessive gene that made him bigger than you and made him look different from you.

Mew Two: Really?

(Everyone looks behind a piece of the set. They see Mew Two sitting there)

Mew: So that’s where you’ve been all this time!

Mew Two: I did walk around for awhile, then I came back here. Is that true Giovanni?

Giovanni: Yes. There is nothing wrong with you. In that sense.

Mew Two: So I won’t die then? Not that that really matters.

Giovanni: No.

Mew Two: And I'm not a freak?

Giovanni: No. Well, you are a freak. But not because you’re a weird Mew.

Mew Two: Thanks. (That was sarcasm)

Lightning: Van, call Kem and tell her everything is Ok now.

Mew: Why did you let that get to you Mew Two? You never let anything get to you most of the time.

Mew Two: I didn’t understand why I was so different from you. I’m not just a little different, like people are, I’m totally different. I look nothing like you. Or any other Mew for that matter. nothing about me is the same. I just wanted to know why.

Giovanni: You could have asked.

Mew Two: Like I'd ever ask YOU anything. But this did answer the one question that has bothered me for as long as I can remember.

Mew: What’s that?

Mew Two: Where did I come from? I had always thought that he created me for evil. I never knew that I actually had a family like everyone else.

Thunder: You’ve always had a family Mew Two.

Mew Two: I know that now.

Lightning: No no. Clone or not. You always had Me, Thunder, Thunder, Mew, Blossom, and Kem. we were always your family.

Mew Two: But you all had your parents and siblings. I never had siblings.

Thunder: Kem’s like a mom. She nags enough any way. And we’re like siblings.

Mew Two: So you are. Well, I guess I have 2 families now.

Mew: Like mom and dad said, you were always a part of our family. Although It is comforting to know that I'm still 1,000 years older than you.

Mew Two: Silence.

Giovanni: Pathetic.

Thunder: That’s so nice. Look at the sibling rivalry Lightning.

Lightning: Yeah. Wow. We’re almost out of time guys.

Mew: Yeah we are.

Thunder: Well, that’s it for today’s episode of TPAMS. Tune in to see us Live from Johto with our “Go go to Johto” Contest winners. Our guests will be who ever we manage to scrape up and the families of Blossom our backstage helper and evil Thunder our cousin.

Mew: We’ll also tell you weather or not we’ve prevented Rini from existing.

Lightning: All that and Me.

(Everyone looks at him)

Lightning: What? I WILL be there. But here’s what I was supposed to say:

All that and more tomorrow on the Pikachu and Mew Show. Good night everyone!

That’s it for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show. Tune in tomorrow to see all that great stuff they just said.

*writers note ~ The part where Mew gets mad at a guest that was clipped on episode 16 was edited out due to time. This episode was too damn long. 33 pages!