Thunder: Hi guys! Here we are on the set of “Who wants to be a Millionaire” with episode 19 of TPAMS!

Mew: We get a break from hosting and are put in the position of our guests. This could get ugly.

Thunder: Me and Mew, along with Two, Sailor Neptune (Michelle), Darien, Richie, Brick, Vegeta, Goku, Ash, Giovanni, Lawrence 3, Tai, Matt, and Blossom the Powerpuff Girl will be trying our luck at winning a whole crap load of random crap.

Mew: You want to get this started Regis?

Regis: I do.

Thunder: Is that your final answer?

Regis: You’re a funny Pikachu, Thunder. How about we get to our first fastest finger-

Mew Two: Some of us don’t have fingers.

Regis: What do you have?

Mew Two: Paws. Except Blossom and Brick. They have no fingers. They just have.... stumps. No offense.

Blossom and Brick: None taken.

Regis: We’ll just call it the.... Fastest thinker question.

Mew Two: I guess that’s better.

Regis: Look alive contestants. Here’s the fastest thinker question. Put these letters of the alphabet in order starting with the earliest:

A. R C. D

B. L D. Z

(Some time passes)

Regis: And the correct answer is:

C B A D

And the fastest time was Mew Two with 0.23 seconds.

(He walks up to the hot seat)

Regis: Hello Mew Two.

Mew Two: Greetings.

Regis: Are you ready to play?

Mew Two: No.

Regis: No?

Mew Two: I’d like to make this a bit more interesting.

Regis: How so?

Mew Two: Here is a list of ideas Thunder, Mew, Brick, Blossom, and I came up with.

(Regis reads the list)

Regis: Fewer questions, better questions, suprise “truth or dare” questions, “word of the day” prizes? These are all fine and good but how can we fix these things?

Mew Two: My sister has everything there.

Regis: O-kay. We’ll give your way a try for awhile.

Mew: Give him the new rules Two!

Mew Two: All right. There are only 10 questions. You get the same 3 lifelines. If you say the “word of the day”, you get a pie in the face and one of the other 14 contestants, weather they went or not, win a prize. And hidden somewhere in the random drawing of the questions are “Truth or dare” questions, which are self explanatory. The thing with those are you can’t use lifelines on them.

Regis: Is that all?

Mew Two: Yes.

Regis: Ok. Lets begin. Where are my new questions?

Mew: VAN!

(he runs on to the stage, hands Regis a bucket filled with slips of paper, then runs off the stage)

Mew: Thank you! Such a loyal gopher he is. He even works on his day off. Oh yeah! Van!

Van: Yeah boss?

Mew: Tell everyone the word of the day.

Van: Ok. Can you hide all the contestants please?

Mew: Ok. Come guys.

(They teleport away)

Van: Ok. The word of the day is “Pokémon”.

(He blows one of those dog whistles. Mew teleports everyone back)

Regis: Ok. Ready Two?

Mew Two: Now I am.

Regis: Ok. Question 1. Which of the following is the name of a Roudyruff Boy?

A. Butch C. Brad

B. Billy D. Bob

Mew Two: A.

Regis: Correct! Question 2.... Is a truth or dare question.

Mew Two: Lovely.

Regis: Truth or Dare?

Mew Two: Hmmmm.....

Mew: Pick dare! Pick dare!

Michelle: No truth!

Thunder: DARE!

Mew Two: Uhhhh.... Truth.

Regis: Ok. Who is your favorite roommate out of the 5 other Pokémon you live with?

Mew Two: Damn. You would have a question like that Mew.

Mew: Yep.

Mew Two: I’d have to say..... Lightning.

Thunder and Mew: LIGHTNING!?

Mew Two: He’s smart and he’s helped me to understand the rap music. He’s got to be my favorite. Mew is probably second. Thunder and Blossom tie for third. And I don’t care much for evil Thunder.

Regis: So you automatically get that one?

Mew Two: Yes. If, I provide a decent answer. That basically means, if you give an answer, you get it.

Regis: Ok. Question 3! Are you ready Two!?

Mew Two: Yes.

Regis: Ok. Question 3. How many islands make up Legendary Land? Is it:

A. 1 C.3

B. 2 D.4

Mew Two: C. 3. There is Mew Island, the main island which is called Legendary Island, and Dragon Island.

Regis: That is correct!

Mew Two: Of course it is. I used to live there.

Regis: I’m sure you did. Question 4 is..... another Truth or Dare question!

Mew Two: Damnit. Fine. Let me see.....

Mew: Pick dare this time!

Michelle: Truth! Pick truth again!

Mew: He already did that Neptune. Dare! Dare!

Mew Two: Mew is right. This time I pick dare.

Regis: Ok. Two, you have to rap about cookies.

Mew Two: You’re kidding right?

Regis: Nope. You have 1 minute to come up with something starting now.

(A minute passes)

Regis: Are you ready?

Mew Two: Yes.

Regis: Go ahead then.

Mew Two: Ahem. “I like cookies. They are good. Cookies rule. There are many kinds of cookies, so eat lots of them.” There. I’m finished.

Brick: That isn’t rapping.

Mew Two: Why not?

Brick: You aren’t getting in to it. You need to move around.

Mew Two: Fine.

(He moves his tail as he reads it again)

Brick: You aren’t feeling it Mew Two. Pretend you really want the cookies. And you have to move more than your tail.

Mew Two: I am not jumping around like all those insane “rappers” on TV.

Brick: Do you want to win?

Mew Two: Grrrr.....

(Mew Two dances around the set while “rapping” his rap about cookies. Everyone is laughing at him. Even Giovanni.)

Giovanni: You’re aware of how ridiculous you look, right?

Mew Two: My you be forced to do the same or something equally humiliating come your turn Giovanni.

Giovanni: Quit hurting my feelings Mew Two or i’ll have to tell my mother. (Sarcasm)

Mew Two: What ever. Can we move on please.

Regis: Ok. Question 5. Which of the following is a playable character on Pokémon Puzzle League?

A. Lance C. Ash

B. Ash’s mom D. Mew

Mew Two: C. Ash.

Regis: Correct! Lets take a look at what you’ve won!

1.) a glow stick

2.) a Pikachu stuffed doll

3.) a light up Pikachu key chain

4.) Pokémon: The First Movie

5.) Pokémon: The Movie 2000

Mew Two: Why did I get both the damn Pokémon movies?

(Mew Two gets hit with a pie. Everyone laughs at him.)

Mew Two: Heh heh! You will all perish! Ahem.

Regis: You said the word of the day Mew Two! That means.....

(He pulls a name out of a bucket)

Regis: ....... Lawrence wins a prize!

Lary: Me? Really?

Regis: Yes! You have won a Pokéball! And there is a Pokémon in it!

Lary: Which one?

Regis: Hell if I know. Just take it.

(A stage manager hands Lary a Pokéball)

Lary: Ummm.... Thank you.

Regis: Ok. Do we get a new word?

Mew Two: (wiping the pie off his face) Yes. Now everyone knows it’s Pokémon.

Ash: I didn’t.

Regis: Ok. Mew! Hide the contestants! Van! Get us a new word!

(Mew teleports everyone away while Van pulls out a dictionary and looks for a word)

Van: Ok! I got one! The word of the day is: Johto.

Regis: Ok.

(Van blows the dog whistle. Mew brings everyone back.)

Regis: What’s with the whistle?

Mew: I can hear it anywhere in the world. So I could go to Cancun and I’d still hear it.

Regis: Where did you go?

Mew: TPAMSs studios.

Regis: I see. Well, lets get to know Mew Two. Hello Mew Two.

Mew Two: Hello.

Regis: Who is it that you brought as your friend today?

Mew Two: I brought my mother.

Mrs. Meowie: Hi Regis!

Regis: Hello. Why is it you brought your mother?

Mew Two: She made me.

Mew: She “politely demanded”. There’s a difference.

Regis: I see. So where are you from Mew Two?

Mew Two: Originally or now?

Regis: Now.

Mew Two: Viridian City. I was originally from Legendary Land.

Regis: Is that where your mother lives?

Mew Two: That is correct.

Regis: Where exactly is Legendary Land?

Mew Two: If I could say, it wouldn’t be a Legendary Land, now would it?

Regis: Then how do they know how many islands there are?

Mew Two: The foolish humans believe it to be nothing more then a fairy tale. They “made” it have 3 islands.

Regis: Ok. So, why are you a Mew Two if your mother is only a Mew? Are you evolved or something?

Mew Two: No. I am an extremely rare form of Mew. So technically it is incorrect to call me Mew Two, but I like that better.

Regis: So the nickname “Two” Came from Mew Two?

Mew Two: Yes.

Regis: Ok. Let us continue. Question 6. Who is the leader of Team Rocket-

Giovanni: Oh my god. This is extremely pathetic. Why did I come?

Mew: Shut Up. It’s not even your question.

Regis: I wasn’t done any way. And I read it wrong. The question is: Who WAS the leader of Team Rocket BEFORE Giovanni?

Giovanni: Equally pathetic.

Mew Two: SHH!

Regis: Was it:

A. No one. Giovanni started it. C. Lt. Surge

B. Kem D. His mom.

Mew Two: I believe the answer is D. His mom.

Regis: Is that your final answer?

Mew Two: Yes.

Regis: You are correct! You won a $30 gift certificate for any of the many Pokémart locations. That includes the big stores in Celadon and Goldenrod.

Mew Two: Wonderful. if only I was a Pokémon-

(He pauses)

Mew Two: Phew. No pie. Any way, if only I was a Pokémon trainer. (sarcasm)

Regis: Give it to your trainer for her birthday.

Mew Two: maybe...

Regis: Ok. Question 7. The new Pokémon are found in the country of:

A. Johto C. Canada

B. Kanto D. Russia

Mew Two: A.

Regis: What?

Mew Two: I have this weird feeling that all I should say is A.

Regis: Well, that is correct!

Mew: Quit it mom!

Mrs. Meowie: What?

Mew: You told him something, didn’t you?

Mrs. Meowie: No. Any presence that makes him not want to say the whole answer he got on his own.

Regis: ANY WAY, Question 8. What famous lawyer will represent the Johto Gym leaders in the case of “The Johto Gym leaders versus The Elite Four, Giovanni, and the Federation of Kanto Gym leaders”?

A. Lightning the Raichu C. Johnny Cocrin

B. Ken Starr D. None of them

Mew Two: It’s A but Lightning isn’t famous.

Regis: You are correct. And Thunder and Mew say he is.

Mew Two: What ever.

Regis: Question 9. What judge will preside over the case?

A. Judge Judy C. Judge Mew Two

B. Judge Mills Lane D. none of them

Mew Two: C.

Regis: Correct! You’re really doing that?

Mew Two: Yes. I actually went to law school for awhile. I graduated quickly. It was too easy.

Regis: Ok! Last question. Question 10. What is 2+8?

A. 3 C. 7

B. 10 D. 13

Mew Two: B.

Regis: Right! You have won:

1.) a glow stick

2.) a Pikachu stuffed doll

3.) a light up Pikachu key chain

4.) Pokémon: The First Movie

5.) Pokémon: The Movie 2000

6.) a $30 gift certificate for any of the many Pokémart locations

7.) Mario Tennis for N64

8.) a Nintendo 64

9.) a portable CD player

10.) a 32 inch television

Congratulations!

Mew Two: Thanks.

(He walks off the stage)

Regis: Ok. The next fastest thinker question is: Put these contestants of today’s Millionaire Special in order starting with the oldest:

A. Mew C. Sailor Neptune (Michelle in case you forgot)

B. Thunder D. Ash

(Some time passes)

Regis: Ok! The correct answer is:

A C B D

And the fastest time was..... Sailor Neptune!

Michelle: Yay!

(She goes down to the stage, gives Regis a hug, then walks over to the hot seat)

Regis: Hello.

Michelle: Hi! I can’t believe I won! Yay!

Regis: Who did you think would get it?

Michelle: Not me. Like Mew of Vegeta or Giovanni. But that was kinda hard.

Regis: How did you know the answer?

Michelle: Well, I watched episode 18. There you learned that Mew was 1549, which makes her oldest. There you also learned that Thunder was 17. I’m 20. that makes me older than him. And Ash was all that was left.

Regis: Good thinking. How about we get started now?

Michelle: Ok.

Regis: First question. Who is the oldest contestant we have today? Is it:

A. Mew Two C. Giovanni

B. Mew D. Lawrence 3

Michelle: Hmmm.... It’s either Mew or Mew Two. And Mew Two is only around 400 right?

Mew Two: Yes.

Mew: It’s Giovanni! He’s like 4 million!

Giovanni: I am not!

Thunder: Yeah Mew. He’s only 3.5 million.

(Everyone laughs)

Michelle: Then I pick B. Mew.

Regis: Correct!

Michelle: Yay! I know you aren’t 3.5 million Giovanni. I’d say you’re closer to a thousand.

(Everyone laughs again. Poor Giovanni. They’re so mean to him)

Mew: Narrator!

(Sorry)

Regis: Ok. Question 2. Which of the following planets DOES NOT have a sailor scout? is it:

A. Earth C. Pluto

B. Saturn D. Neptune

Michelle: Well, it’s obviously not Neptune. But the answer is A. Earth. There is a Sailor Moon, but no Sailor Earth.

Regis: Correct! Question 3. Truth or dare?

Michelle: Dang! I was hoping I could avoid those. Oh well. I like.....

Mew Two: You seemed to like truth before.

Michelle: That was different. It was you then.

Mew: Neptune has secrets! I want to hear them! Make her pick truth!

Michelle: I guess i’ll take a chance on truth.

Regis: Ok. Who do you hate more than anyone else in the whole world?

Michelle: Hmm.... I don’t hate anyone. I think hating people is mean.

Giovanni: EVERYONE hates someone.

Richie: Yeah. Even me!

Michelle: Well, if I had to pick someone it would be..... Uranus.

(Shock fills the studio)

Mew: I thought she was like your best friend.

Michelle: She was. Until she went total B**** on everyone.

Regis: Explain.

Michelle: Well, she used to be nice until she got totally crabby. She orders everyone around and has no respect for anyone but herself. Yes. I would say I hate her. I only pretended to like her because I have to act like miss friendly all the time. Well I'm sick of it! From now on, if I hate you, you’ll know it.

(Everyone looks at her)

Michelle: I’m serious.

Thunder: Do you hate me?

Michelle: Of course not. But Mew on the other hand....

(Mew gets a sad look on her face)

Michelle: You know I'm just kidding Mew.

Mew: Really?

Michelle: Yes. I could never hate you guys. Not even Mew Two.

Regis: Ok. Question 3. How many marshmallow shapes are there normally in Lucky Charms cereal?

A. 7 C. 9

B. 8 D. 10

Michelle: Oh. Let me see. I saw that commercial yesterday. Hearts, stars, and horse shoes, clovers, and blue moons. Pots of gold and Rainbows, and the red balloon. So the answer is B. 8.

Regis: Correct! You memorized that whole thing?

Michelle: It was a catchy tune.

Regis: Yes. Yes. Question 4. Sedusa is a character on what show?

A. Sheep in the Big City C. Digimon

B. Pokémon D. The Powerpuff Girls

Michelle: Oh dear. I don’t believe I know this one.

Blossom: “Fighting Crime. Trying to save the world. Here they come just in time. The POWERPUFF GIRLS...” Ahem. Did you say something Mew?

Mew: No Blossom the POWERPUFF GIRL.

Michelle: I think I’ll gather from their hints that the answer is D. The Powerpuff Girls.

Regis: Is that your final answer?

Brick: Yes!

Michelle: I guess so.

Regis: You are correct! Question 5. The lyrics: Blossom: Commander and the leader. Bubbles: She is the Joy and the laughter. Buttercup: She is the toughest fighter. Powerpuffs save the day” are from the ending theme of what show?

Brick: You didn’t sing it Regis. And you forgot the part about me.

Blossom: What part about you?

Brick: The part that talks about how bad I beat you.

Blossom: Shut up.

Michelle: No fighting! Are you going to give any options Regis?

Regis: Of course.

A. The Powerpuff Girls C. Ronin Warriors

B. Sailor Moon D. Dragon Ball Z

Michelle: A. The Powerpuff Girls.

Regis: Correct!

Blossom: Who the hell put “Ronin Warriors” On there?

Thunder: that’s the show!

Mew Two: Yeah! That show rocks!

Mew: Losers.

Brick: It is pretty cool...

Regis: I’m sure. Well Michelle, you have won:

1.) a randomly selected Happy Meal toy

2.) a stuffed Raichu doll

3.) a light up Mew Two key chain

4.) a Nelly CD (they have lots of those)

5.) a Talking Pikachu doll

Michelle: Fun!

Regis: You’re the first to have no complaints.

Michelle: I knew what to expect when I came, so it’s not that disappointing. It’s better crap then expected in fact.

Regis: Very good. So who did you bring with you as your friend today?

Michelle: I brought Tenchi!

Regis: Why Tenchi?

Michelle: Well, he was really sad that he couldn’t play today. So to make him feel better I brought him along.

Mew: He couldn’t play because Regis told us 15 was his limit. You were number 16 Tenchi I swear. We wanted 20 but Regis said no.

Tenchi: That’s Ok Mew.

Regis: And 15 is an awful lot of people.

Tenchi: I don’t mind. You have more then enough people as it is.

Regis: We’ll manage. So, you’re a sailor scout Michelle?

Michelle: Yep. Sailor Neptune.

Regis: Are you on the show often?

Michelle: Not so much any more.

Regis: What do you do when you aren’t on the show?

Michelle: All kinds of things. I help Thunder and Mew with stuff, watch TV, stuff like that.

Regis: How do you help Thunder and Mew?

Michelle: Watch their competition, tell them who’s on, and help them get better guests. They would never be caught watching their competition on their own. That’s what I’m for.

Regis: I see. Very good. Shall we continue?

Michelle: Yeah.

Regis: Ok. Question 6. How many guests are supposed to be on this show?

A. 7 C. 9

B. 8 D. 10

Michelle: D. 10

Regis: Correct! Question 7 is a truth or dare question.

Michelle: How many of those did you guys put in there?

Mew: Oh don’t worry. There are plenty for everyone.

Regis: Will you take truth or dare?

Michelle: Ummm... truth worked out nicely for me last time, so I pick truth.

Regis: Ok. Who do you have a crush on?

Michelle: You can tell Mew wrote these.

Mew: That is a perfectly legitimate question!

Michelle: Well, lets see.... nobody.

Blossom: You know you like somebody.

Michelle: Nope.

Mew: You’re lying. I’m a psychic. I can tell.

Michelle: Why would I lie?

Giovanni: Oh I don’t know. Maybe to avoid answering the question!

Michelle: How often do I lie?

Mew: You’re lying now.

Brick: Aww come on. Answer the question.

Michelle: I swear the answer is nobody.

Mew: Then why am I sensing that you’re hiding something?

Michelle: I am hiding something, just nothing pertaining to the previously stated question.

Mew: What are you hiding then?

Michelle: Just trust me. it has NOTHING to do with the truth question.

Regis: I’ll let you have it this time, but we’ll make Question 8 a truth or dare question too to make up for it, Ok?

Mew Two: I know what she’s hiding!

Michelle: No you don’t.

Mew Two: Yes I do. And it does kinda pertain to the question asked. You just have to change some words.

Michelle: As worded Mew Two.

Mew Two: Fine. I won’t tell though. It’s kinda funny actually. You’re funny.

Regis: Truth or dare?

Michelle: Uhhhh.... truth is getting dangerous. But I’m so honest. Let me try it again.

Regis: Ok. But you need to answer this time.

Michelle: I DID answer. You guys just didn’t like it.

Regis: Ok. Fine. Here’s the question: Who do you like, as a friend, more then anyone else in the whole world?

Michelle: Oh. This is hard. I would have to say..... Sailor Pluto.

Regis: Why is that?

Michelle: She’s like my best friend. She’s great.

Mew: You didn’t pick me?

Michelle: Would you have picked me?

Mew: Probably not. You’re cool, but I could think of someone I like better.

Thunder: I would have picked you.

(Everyone laughs at him. He’s to dazed to care)

Mew: And the sad thing is: He means it.

Regis: Question 9. Which of today’s guests wanted to be a police officer when they were a kid.? Was it:

A. Giovanni C. Goku

B. Lawrence III D. Vegeta

Michelle: Oh my. I have no idea. Can you poll the audience? I’d like to see what they think.

Regis: Ok.

(The audience is polled)

Regis: Ok. 0% say Giovanni, 40% say Goku, 30% say Lawrence III, and 30% say Vegeta.

Michelle: That doesn’t help much. Use 50/50.

Regis: Ok. Now your options are:

A. Giovanni C. Goku

Michelle: Oh my gosh. I don’t know. I’d use the phone a friend lifeline, but who’d know that? I’m gonna walk Regis.

Regis: Are you sure?

Michelle: Yeah.

Regis: Take a guess for fun.

Michelle: Goku.

Regis: Nope.

Michelle: It was Giovanni!?

Giovanni: I was a strange child.

Brick: Who would have guessed?

Michelle: Not me.

Regis: No matter. You have won:

1.) a randomly selected Happy Meal toy

2.) a stuffed Raichu doll

3.) a light up Mew Two key chain

4.) a Nelly CD (they have lots of those)

5.) a Talking Pikachu doll

6.) the complete Powerpuff Girls doll set

7.) Pokémon Puzzle League for Nintendo 64

8.) a Nintendo 64.

(Prizes 7 and 8 are always a Nintendo Game and a Nintendo.)

Regis: ANY WAY...

(Sorry again)

Regis: Good job Michelle.

Michelle: Thank you. Bye!

(she walks off the stage)

Regis: The next fastest thinker question is: Put these contestants in the order in which they will appear:

A. Giovanni C. Ash

B. Vegeta D. Mew

(Some time passes)

Regis: Ok. There is NO correct answer. And the fastest time, and only answer, was Giovanni with 1 second.

(Giovanni walks up to the hot seat)

Regis: So Giovanni, how did you know that was a trick question?

Giovanni: I’m not the idiot you thought I was.

Regis: What was your answer?

Giovanni: A B C D. I could be wrong, but you can’t prove that now. Or ever. I’m NEVER wrong.

Regis: I’m sure you’re wrong sometimes.

Giovanni: Not if you value your life.

Regis: Of course you’re never wrong. Lets begin shall we?

Giovanni: Fine. But if you say “is that your final answer?” while I'm up here I WILL hurt you. Do you know how irritating that is? It makes me want to kill people.

Mew: You kill people any way.

Giovanni: Well that phrase isn’t helping.

Regis: Ok. I’ll remember that. Question 1. What criminal organization steals Pokémon and then uses them to make money? Is it-

Giovanni: This question insults me.

Regis: I’m sorry. That’s what it says.

Giovanni: Do you have a death wish?

Regis: No.

Giovanni: That’s too bad. Your death would be much less painful if you wanted to die.

(Regis begins looking very pale)

Giovanni’s mom: Giovanni!

Giovanni: He asked for it mother.

Regis: Is it:

A. Team Rocket-

Giovanni: A. Next question.

Regis: But-

Giovanni: I said NEXT QUESTION.

Regis: Correct. Question 2. Who is the current leader of Team Rocket. Is it-

Giovanni: Me. Next question.

Regis: Right. Question 3 is-

Giovanni: I hope for your sake it isn’t a truth or dare question.

Regis: Why not?

Giovanni: I HATE those. I might have to have you killed if that’s the case.

Regis: Uhhh.... it is.

Giovanni: That’s too bad.

Giovanni’s mom: Giovanni! Be nice!

Giovanni: I’m not going to hurt him mother. Hit man Joey will.

Regis: Heh heh.... the question is.... oh no.

Mew: Is it the hit man question!?

Regis: Yes.

Giovanni: Lets hear it already.

Regis: If....if you.....could hire a hit man to kill anyone, who would you.....have.....killed?

Giovanni: Oh, I don’t know. Probably..... YOU.

Regis: Really?

Giovanni: Yes. And I CAN hire a hit man.

(Regis faints)

Giovanni’s mom: Giovanni! You fainted the host!

Giovanni: I was just kidding mother. He shouldn’t have taken me so seriously.

(Van walks on to the stage. He kicks Regis to make sure he was really unconscious.)

Van: He’s out cold.

Mew: Why don’t you take over then?

Van: And deal with Giovanni!? Are you kidding me!?

Giovanni: I’ll do you morons a favor. If you just make me an automatic winner, I’ll do Regis’ job.

Mew: Ok.

Thunder: Sounds good.

Giovanni: Excellent.

(Some stage managers drag Regis off the stage. Giovanni goes over to where he had been sitting)

Giovanni: Wow. I did win a whole lot of useless crap. I suppose I can donate it to that beggar orphanage as my good deed for the millennium. Yes. I’ll do that.

Mew: Can we start now?

Giovanni: Fine. Your fastest thinker question is: Put these numbers in order starting with the biggest:

A. 1 C. 3

B. 2 D. 4

(Some time passes)

Giovanni: You all know the answer so I won’t waste my time.

Ash: I don’t. What is it?

Vegeta: D C B A you moron.

Ash: Oh! Ok.

Giovanni: Oh my god... Any way, the moron that got it first was Lawrence III.

(He walks up to the hot seat)

Lary: You know Giovanni, you could be more positive about this.

Giovanni: And you could shut up.

Lary: Why do I try?

Giovanni: I don’t know. Lets just start. Question 1. This is too easy. What is the nickname of Pikachu of the Pikachu and Mew Show?

Lary: I know this, but are you not giving options?

Giovanni: No! Options are a waste of time. I will only give options if you need to poll the audience because, with the exception of mother, they look pretty stupid.

Mew: You’re a coward.

Giovanni: How dumb do you think I am!? I’d never insult my own mother.

Lary: Any way, the answer is Thunder.

Giovanni: Question 2. What is the word of the day?

Lary: I don’t know. Is that one of your own questions?

Giovanni: Yes. It’s on this little screen here.

Lary: Ummm.... Can I ask someone?

Giovanni: Call someone you mean?

Lary: No. I wanted to ask Mew.

Giovanni: Hell if I care.

Lary: Mew, can you use your powers to help me out?

Mew: Ok. I’ll spell it since I don’t want to get a pie to the face.

Lary: Oh yeah. I don’t want that either.

Giovanni: Then quit.

Lary: No.

Giovanni: then tell me what it is.

Mew: Ok. It’s J - O - H - T -O

Lary: J - O - H - T - O?

Mew: Yes.

Lary: Ok. My answer is J - O - H - T - O.

Giovanni: Say it.

Lary: But-

Giovanni: Say it or quit.

Lary: Awww.... Johto.

(He gets hit with a pie. Everyone laughs at him)

Lary: Thanks Giovanni.

Giovanni: You’re welcome. And Blossom wins a prize.

Blossom: Yay! Thanks Giovanni!

(Van gives Lawrence 3 a towel. He also holds a sign up to the audience that shows the new word of the day. It’s Puppy.)

Giovanni: Question 3. What do you call a baby dog?

Lary: A puppy.

(he gets hit with another pie)

Giovanni: I don’t know about you guys, but I'm having fun. And Sailor Neptune wins a prize.

Michelle: yes!

Lary: This is not fun.

Giovanni: SURE it is.

(Van holds up the new word. It’s Ecruteak.)

Giovanni: Question 4. Damn. How do I get that in a question? Oh well. I think you need a truth or dare question.

Lary: Ok. Truth.

(Giovanni begins laughing evilly)

Giovanni: How many cities in Johto have you been to?

Lary: Ummm.... Just 2.

Giovanni: Which ones?

Lary: Ummm..... Olivine City, because I came on the boat, and Ecruteak City.

(He gets hit with another pie. Everyone is laughing hysterically)

Giovanni: Oh my gosh. I’m too clever. Goku wins a prize.

Goku: Sweet deal!

Lary: I’m not amused Giovanni.

Giovanni: Then stop saying the words of the day.

(Van holds up a new sign with a new word. The new word is Blossom)

Giovanni: Ok. Question 5. What is the name of the Powerpuff Girl that is here today?

Lary: I think it’s Blossom.

(He gets hit with a pie. He wipes some off his face and glares at Giovanni.)

Lary: I hate you.

Giovanni: Doesn’t everyone. I win a prize. How lovely. Van, get him a new towel. Get a new word too.

(Van brings another towel. Then he holds up a sign with the new word. It’s Viridian.)

Giovanni: Question 6. Where is the Pewter City gym?

Lary: Pewt..... Pewter City.

(He waits for a pie. No pie comes)

Giovanni: I decided I'm done tormenting you Lawrence.

Lary: Really?

Giovanni: How often do I joke about anything? Exactly. Question 7. What are all the cities in Kanto named after?

Lary: Colors.

Giovanni: Question 8. What are all the Johto cities named after?

Lary: Plants.

Giovanni: Question 9. What is an Ecruteak?

Lary: An evergreen plant of some kind. Let me think.

Thunder: Yellow to grayish brown evergreen plant! Kem looked it up!

Lary: Thank you. Yellow to grayish brown evergreen plant

Giovanni: She looked it up you say?

Mew: Yeah. It was bugging her that she didn’t know.

Giovanni: Figures. Question 10. Where is my gym?

Lary: Viridian City.

(He gets hit with a pie.)

Giovanni: Sorry Lawrence. I couldn’t resist.

(Lary walks off the stage. He’s pretty pissed.)

Giovanni: Van! Make sure he gets this list of all the crap he won. And get a new word of the day!

Mew: Stop bossing around MY gopher.

Giovanni: Make me.

(Mew glares at him. Van take the list from Giovanni, then holds up the new word. It’s Powerpuff.)

Giovanni: Ok. Here’s the next fastest whatever question. I don’t care any more. You know what? Screw that. Little boy with the big head!

Brick: Me?

Giovanni: yeah. It’s your turn.

Brick: Ok.

(he flies up to the hot seat)

Thunder: Look what Giovanni has turned this game in to.

Mew: Sad...

Giovanni: Question 1. What does your big headed girlfriend over there call her little super hero group thing?

Brick: 1. She is not nor was she ever my girl friend. 2. The Powerpuff Girls.

(He gets hit with a pie.)

Giovanni: Ash wins a prize.

Brick: You suck dude.

(Van brings him a towel and holds up a new word. It’s Sparky.)

Van: And Giovanni, we’re going to have to limit the number of times you make someone say the word of the day. The director thinks you’re doing that too much.

Giovanni: Fine. What am I limited to?

Van: One pie for each remaining contestant. That’s all we have left.

Giovanni: Can I build them up and save them all for the last person?

Van: I dunno. I don’t see why not.

Giovanni: So I get 10 more?

Van: I suppose....

Giovanni: Excellent.

(Van walks off the stage)

Giovanni: Question 2. You are a what?

Brick: Roudyruff Boy?

Giovanni: Are you?

Brick: Yes-

Giovanni: Question 3.

Mew: Why are you rushing?

Giovanni: I want to go home. Question 3. How many people went before you on the show today?

Brick: 4.

Giovanni: Question 4. Truth or dare.

Brick: Dare!

Giovanni: Ok. Here’s the dare Mew wrote. Let Sailor Neptune and Blossom dress you up like a girl.

Brick: What!?

Giovanni: Read it.

(He reads it)

Brick: Awww.....

Michelle: Yay! Come on Blossom!

(They take him back stage)

Giovanni: I’m having fun. What about you...... Tai.

Tai: Ummm.... Sure Giovanni.

(Some more time of uneasy silence passes. After 20 minutes, Blossom and Michelle walk on to the stage)

Blossom: Come on Brick!

Brick: (you hear him but you don’t see him) No!

Michelle: Oh come on. You’re so pretty.

Brick: You’re both crazy!

(Blossom flies back and drags him out. He’s wearing a purple dress with a bow and a bunch of make up. Everyone laughs at him)

Giovanni: Ahem. Right. I didn’t think you’d actually do it.

Michelle: He almost didn’t. It took us 10 minutes to convince him to put the dress on.

Mew: He is pretty now.

Brick: shut up Mew. Can I go change now?

Giovanni: You need to sit dressed like that for the rest of the show.

Brick: GRRRRR.... Ask the next question Jerkovanni.

Giovanni: I didn’t write the dare, I just read it. Question 5. Agumon is a what?

Brick: Digimon.

Giovanni: Very good. Maybe you do have a brain. Question 6. Who guest hosted TPAMS yesterday?

Brick: I watched that! It was Sabrina’s Head Assistant and Mega Dude. That was great!

Giovanni: Question 7 is a truth or dare question.

Brick: Hell if I’m picking dare again. I’ll take truth.

Giovanni: Ok. Do you realize how stupid you look in that dress?

(Brick glares at him)

Giovanni: (Trying not to laugh. You can tell. He has a smile on his face) Do you?

Brick: No s*** dumbass. I can tell I look like a fruity moron.

Giovanni: Ok. That’s correct. Partially. Any way, Question 8. Raichus are what kind of Pokémon?

Brick: Electric.

Giovanni: Question 9. Do you drink... Oh my god. Mew, what the hell kind of question is this?

Mew: What’s the question?

Giovanni: Do you drink Vodka.

Mew: Mew Two wrote that.

Mew Two: It’s a honest question.

Giovanni: Yes Mew Two. A rated “e” fanfiction would have a question involving Vodka.

Brick: No. Alcohol is bad. When Mojo drinks, me and the guys go away till he’s passed out.

(Everyone looks at him)

Brick: What? If your “dad” was a whacked out monkey you’d leave when he gets drunk too.

Giovanni: Uhhh.... Yeah. Question 10. Who is Mojo Jojo?

Brick: This is sad. Mojo is a trippy a** monkey that wants to take over Townsville. He’s also an alcoholic and he swears worse then any one I know.

Giovanni: Ok.... Here’s a list of what you’ve won, now go away.

(Brick walks off the stage)

Giovanni: My next victim will be..... Thunder.

Thunder: Great.

(He walks up to the hot seat)

Thunder: Can we make this fast please. You scare me.

Giovanni: Of course I do. That’s what I’m here for. Question 1 is a truth or dare question.

Thunder: What a way to start. I pick.... Dare.

Giovanni: Ok. You have to call the mayor of Indigo City and tell him that he “Smokes weed every day”. Ok. This goes back to the Vodka thing....

Mew: Stop B****ing and let him do it. Jeeze.

Giovanni: Fine.

(You hear a phone ring. Then you hear a guy pick up)

Thunder: Hello? Is this the mayor of Indigo City?

Mayor: Yes.

Thunder: Ummm... Hi. You smoke weed every day! Bye!

(They hang up on the mayor)

Giovanni: *Sigh* I’m not even going to say anything. Question 2. How many siblings does Lightning have?

Thunder: Dude, I’m his brother.

Giovanni: Then that question is all the easier to answer.

Thunder: Fine. There’s me, Sparkles, Shocker, Thunderina, and Sparks. He has 4 siblings.

Giovanni: Question 3. Oh my god. Mew, do you have a drug addiction?

Mew: No.

Giovanni: The why do all your questions involve them?

Mew: They don’t.

Giovanni: Ugh. Ok. What kind of drugs were taken from Prof. Oak yesterday when they were found in his car? He has a car?

Thunder: Supposedly. That was on the news yesterday. He had 15 kilos of crack.

Giovanni: You remember that exactly?

Thunder: Yeah! It was funny! He’s a big time drug smuggler!

Giovanni: This is sad.

Mew: You made it that way by fainting Regis.

Giovanni: Shut up. Question 4.What is the name of Kem’s dog?

Thunder: Sparky.

(He gets hit with a pie)

Giovanni: You thought you were safe didn’t you? Darien wins a prize.

Thunder: I hate you more then Lary does.

Giovanni: That’s nice.

(Van holds up a new word. It’s Nelly)

Giovanni: Come here Van.

(He walks on to the stage)

Van: What?

Giovanni: What’s that?

Van: The word of the day?

Giovanni: I know that! What is it?

Van: Oh. If I told you they’d all know what it is.

Giovanni: Not Ash.

Van: Everyone else would. I’ll give you a hint. Meaningless noise.

Giovanni: Rap music? Oh. I see. Ok.

Thunder: The game...

Giovanni: Silence! I am deeply bothered when I don’t know what something is. Question 5. What’s a Nelly?

Thunder: A rapper.

Giovanni: What’s a rapper?

Thunder: I’m not going to repeat what you said. Lets just move on now.

Giovanni: I’ll make you say it yet. Question 6. Which rapper sings... Van!

(He walks back out)

Van: What!?

Giovanni: Someone is becoming frustrated.

Van: Well you won’t shut up! Never mind. What do you need?

Giovanni: What’s that CD Sailor Neptune won earlier called?

Van: Country Grammar.

Giovanni: Who sings that, Thunder?

Thunder: Nelly.

(He gets hit with a pie)

Giovanni: HA! I told you I’d make you say it!

(Thunder just glares at him)

Giovanni: Mew wins a prize.

Mew: YES! Way to take one for the team Thunder!

(He turns and glares at her)

Mew: Dude! You pissed him off Giovanni.

Giovanni: Good.

(Van holds up a new sign. It says: The new word of the day is, Candy)

Giovanni: Question 7. What musical instrument does Sailor Neptune play?

Thunder: The Violin.

Giovanni: Question 8.

(Thunder is gone)

Giovanni: Thunder.

Thunder: .......

Giovanni: Rat beast?

Thunder: .......

Giovanni: Snap out of it!

Thunder: What?

Giovanni: Ugh. Question 8. Truth or dare.

Thunder: Truth.

Giovanni: Are you aware of the fact that you’re a moron? This is one of my questions. Mew’s suck.

Mew: Shut Up!

Thunder: I’m not a moron, but I want to keep playing, so yes.

Giovanni: Smart rat. Figure this out. Question 9. How old am I?

Thunder: I don’t know.

Mew: 4 million!

Giovanni: Shut up.

Thunder: Gosh. How old are you?

Giovanni: Obviously not 4 million if my mother is still alive.

Thunder: Hey! I’m going to ask her! Can I do that?

Giovanni: Knock yourself out.

Thunder: Mrs. Giovanni’s mom, how old is Giovanni?

Giovanni’s mom: Let me think... His birthday in in March, so it hasn’t come yet. That makes him.... 35. Yes. 35.

Thunder: No way.

Giovanni’s mom: I’m his mother, Thunder. I KNOW how old my own son is.

Mew: He HAS to be older than that.

Giovanni: I’ll have you know I am not.

Giovanni’s mom: Of course you aren’t dear.

Thunder: Wow. You look older than that. Maybe you need to get more sun.

Giovanni: No. Question 10. How many siblings do I have?

Thunder: Not fair!

Giovanni: Sure it is. But no asking mother.

Mew: He has at least 1, Thunder! Remember when Kem asked him if he had any siblings and he said “None that I wish to speak of”?

Thunder: Yeah. But this is a big risk.

Darien: Why don’t you poll the audience to see what your options are and use that to get a better idea?

Thunder: Will that help? I’m not good at guessing. Even if it is multiple choice. I think I’ll walk. Yes. I’m walking.

Giovanni: Good. Here’s what you won. Bye.

Darien: What’s the answer?

Giovanni: I’m not telling.

Giovanni’s mom: 2.

Giovanni: Thanks mother. (Sarcasm. He likes that)

Giovanni’s mom: You’re welcome dear.

Giovanni: Can we go now.

Mew: Wow. This IS long. I guess we’ll finish up tomorrow.

Giovanni: Thank god.

Thunder: Ok then. We’ll finish this tomorrow. Until then, bye viewers!

Mew: Yeah! BYE!

That’s it for today’s episode of TPAMS. Tune in tomorrow to see the conclusion of the first ever 2 part episode!