Thunder: Hello and welcome once again to the Pikachu and Mew show.

Mew: Today we have some way cool guests. All 8 gym leaders, the elite four, and Kem.

Thunder: And if we have time, a special guest I really wanted to have on the show.

Mew: Who is it?

Thunder: Wait and find out. Lets bring out our first guest.

Mew Two: Do you want to go in order?

Mew: OK. I guess that makes sense.

Mew Two: You get to talk to Brock then.

Thunder: Oh great. They’ll probably start singing Misty’s Song now.

(Brock walks on to the stage and sits down.)

Mew: Hi again Brock.

Thunder: Yeah hi.

Brock: Hi Mew and Thunder. How are you doing today?

Thunder: Good. For all future guests for today, we are just fine, so don’t ask.

Mew: Oh my god. Thunder, you’re and idiot.

Thunder: Shut up, OK? Moron fur ball.

Mew: You will die for that one, rat boy! Any how, so Brock, do you enjoy being a gym leader?

Brock: Yeah. It’s cool.

Mew: How come you go first?

Brock: That’s just how it goes, I guess.

Thunder: Why do you train rock pokemon? They are weak against everything.

Brock: Not you.

Thunder: I could beat any of your stupid pokemon any way.

Brock: You think so?

Thunder: I KNOW so.

Brock: You want to prove that?

Thunder: Bring it on.

Mew: Kem isn’t here. You can’t battle without Kem.

Thunder: Fine. We’ll wait then.

Brock: I’m ready whenever you are.

Mew: ANY WAY, if you’re a gym leader, why do you only have 4 pokemon?

Brock: You heard my story. I couldn’t go any where to catch pokemon. I have an excuse. Ash doesn’t. I just thought I would point that out.

Thunder: O-kay. That’s good. Do we have any more questions for him Mew?

Mew: I don’t have any.

Thunder: Then we’ll see you later when I beat the crap out of one of your cheesy rock pokemon.

Brock: OK.

(He gets up and walks off the stage.)

Mew: Next.

Mew Two: Your next guest is Misty.

Thunder: Yay.

(Misty walks on to the stage and sits down. To anyone that read notebook #3, this is a separate story, so Misty is alive again. Damn!)

Mew: Hi Misty.

Misty: Hi Mew. Hi Thunder.

Thunder: Hi Misty. So, why do you train water pokemon? They’re weak against almost everything.

Mew: That’s what you said to Brock, Thunder.

Thunder: (to Mew) I’m trying to get in a fight with her too.

Misty: They are not.

Thunder: I could beat them.

Misty: Oh yeah!?

Thunder: Yeah!

Misty: Lets go then.

Thunder: You have to wait tell my trainer gets here. Then you have to wait for me to fight Brock, then you can go.

Misty: I CAN’T WAIT!

Thunder: Neither can I.

Mew: Any way.....

Thunder: Right. So why do you hang around with that Ash loser, and don’t say he owes you a bike because in the episode where he got the volcano badge, you couldn’t even remember why you were following him around.

Mew: She remembered when Brock reminded her.

Misty: Umm... but he does owe me a bike.

Thunder: Face it Misty. You aren’t following him for a bike. You could care less about the bike. We want to know why you’re following him FOR REAL.

Misty: Umm....

Mew: She likes him.

Thunder: I know that. I just wanted HER to say that.

Misty: I DO NOT!

Thunder: You do to.

Misty: I don’t have to take this from you. I’m leaving.

Mew: If you don’t like him, why does it bother you so much to hear us say that?

Misty: Umm..... You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!

Thunder: She likes him.

(Misty gets up and walks off the stage.)

Thunder: Someone is crabby today. All we did was ask her a question.

Mew: Next guest Mew Two. And don’t pick a fight with this one Thunder.

Mew Two: Your next guest is Lt. Surge.

(Lt. Surge walks on to the stage.)

Thunder: Hi Lt. Surge.

Lt. Surge: Hi Thunder. Hi Mew.

Mew: So, why is Raichu your only pokemon?

Lt. Surge: I like my Raichu. It has NEVER failed me. Except the time Ash beat it. He just got lucky. Stupid brat.

Thunder: I agree. Why are you Lt. Surge? Were you in a war or something?

Lt. Surge: Yeah. I was in the army for awhile.

Mew: Why are you only a lieutenant? Why not a higher rank?

Lt. Surge: I suppose if I would have stayed longer, I could have been promoted again.

Thunder: Why did you quit?

Lt. Surge: I decided I didn’t want to be in the army any more.

Mew: Was it too hard?

Lt. Surge: No. I just didn’t like it.

Thunder: Did you ever kill anyone?

Lt. Surge: No. I trained the new people.

Mew: Were you ever actually in a war?

Lt. Surge: No. I never did fight in one. I could have, but I didn’t for some reason.

Mew: Maybe that’s why you were never promoted.

Lt. Surge: Could be.

Thunder: Which soda tastes better. Pepsi or Coke?

Mew: What?!

Lt. Surge: I like coke.

Thunder: Me too. Have you ever tried Surge?

Lt. Surge: Yeah. I never really liked that. It had too much caffeine in it.

Mew: Why are you talking about soda?

Thunder: I was just curious.

Mew: I have one last question for you Lt. Surge.

Lt. Surge: OK.

Mew: Do you like puppies?

Lt. Surge: Ummm... yeah. I guess.

Mew: OK. Bye.

(A confused Lt. Surge walks off the stage.)

Thunder: Do you like puppies?

Mew: It’s a good question!

Thunder: What ever. Next guest Mew Two.

Mew Two: Your next guest is Erika.

(Erika walks on to the stage and sits down.)

Mew: Hi Erika.

Erika: Hi Mew. Hi Thunder.

Thunder: Hey Erika, did Misty leave?

Erika: No. She’s still here. She’s on the phone with someone.

Thunder: Damn!

Mew: What’s your problem?

Thunder: I wanted her to leave so we could sue her. If she leaves, she’s breaking the contractual agreement we had which makes it perfectly OK for us to sue her.

Mew: Oh. So Erika, you train grass pokemon, right?

Erika: Yes.

Mew: Which one is your favorite?

Erika: I love my Gloom. That one is my favorite.

Thunder: How come all the trainers in you gym are women? Isn’t that against the law? Why aren’t you an equal opportunity employer!?

Erika: Umm....

Thunder: Well!

Mew: Because girls are better than boys.

Thunder: They are not!

Mew: We are too!

Thunder: Then how come the Powerpuff girls got the crap beaten out of them by the Roudyruff boys!?

Mew: Because those boys fought dirty. And who won in the end any way!?

Erika: You don’t need to fight.

Mew: Yes we do.

Thunder: Yeah! I have a point to prove!

Mew Two: Umm... you guys....

Thunder: NOT NOW!!! CAN’T YOU SEE WE’RE ARGUING HERE!!

Mew Two: Yes but....

Mew: SHUT UP!!

Kem: Both of you shut up! Stop fighting! You’re wasting time!

Thunder and Mew: AHHH! It’s Kem!

Mew: Why didn’t you tell us she was here Mew Two!

Mew Two: I tried but....

Thunder: Never mind. Hi Kem.

Kem: Behave yourselves.

Mew and Thunder: Yes Kem.

Erika: Do they belong to you?

Kem: Yes. And they should know better then to fight like that.

Thunder: Mew started it.

(Kem gives him the shut up or else look.)

Thunder: I’ll be good. I don’t have any more questions for Erika.

Mew: Me either.

Thunder: you can go then.

Erika: OK. Bye.

(Erika walks off the stage.)

Mew: Who’s next Mew Two?

Mew Two: Sabrina.

Mew: Send her out then.

(Sabrina walks onto the stage.)

Mew: Hi Sabrina. How are you?

Sabrina: I am just fine.

Thunder: OK. So, do you like being a gym leader?

Sabrina: Yes.

Kem: Is something wrong with your voice?

Sabrina: This is how I always speak.

Kem: Well, you sound like you’re dead or something. You have no emotion in your voice at all.

Sabrina: At least I don’t sound like a chipmunk.

Kem: You want to start something!?

Mew: NO FIGHTING WITH THE GUESTS KEM!!!!

Kem: Fine.

Thunder: Is it cool to have neat mind powers, Sabrina?

Sabrina: Yes.

Thunder: Did you have to practice hard to get as powerful as you are?

Sabrina: Yes.

Mew: Do you ever answer questions with more than 1 word?

Sabrina: When I feel like it.

Thunder: I guess we’re done talking to you.

Sabrina: Good. Now I can go back to that room and continue my meditation. And TV watching.

(She walks off the stage.)

Kem: That was really weird.

Mew: Yeah.

Thunder: Next.

Mew Two: Your next guest is Koga.

(Koga walks on to the stage.)

Mew: Hi Koga.

Koga: Hello.

Thunder: Are you really a ninja!? Tell me!

Kem: Thunder calm down.

Thunder: I’ve been waiting the whole show to ask that!

Koga: Yes I am.

Thunder: Is it fun?

Koga: Yeah.

Mew: Have you ever watched the ninja turtles?

Koga: That’s my favorite show, movie, and video game.

Thunder: Really?

Koga: Yes.

Thunder: COOL!!! The ninja turtles RULE!!!! Which one is your favorite?

Koga: I like Leonardo.

Thunder: I like Michelangelo.

Kem: No, no, no. Donatelo is the coolest.

Koga: He was too smart for his own good.

Mew: Any way......

Thunder: Oh. Right. Why do you train poison type pokemon?

Koga: They’re more fun.

Mew: Do we have any more questions for Koga?

Thunder: Not me.

Mew: I guess we’re done then. Bye Koga.

Koga: Bye.

(He walks of the stage.)

Mew Two: Your next guest is Blaine.

(Blaine walks on to the stage.)

Mew: Hi Blaine.

Blaine: Hi. I have a riddle for you.

Thunder: A riddle? OK. Let’s hear it.

Blaine: OK. What’s pink and white and yellow all over?

Mew: What? I don’t know.

Thunder: Me either.

Kem: The sign in front of this studio?

Blaine: Other than that.

Kem: I don’t know then.

Blaine: This show. See, Mew is pink and white and Thunder is yellow.

Kem: That had to be THE stupidest riddle I have EVER heard.

Mew: Any way, why is your gym over a volcano? that is NOT very safe.

Blaine: It’s more fun that way.

Kem: Why are you constantly telling stupid riddles?

Blaine: They’re fun.

Thunder: Is it true that you spent some time in a mental hospital?

Blaine: No.

Kem: I think you should. You ARE NOT sane.

Blaine: I am too.

Mew: Why do you train fire pokemon?

Blaine: I live on Cinnabar Island. Fire pokemon are the easiest thing to catch. And don’t forget, my gym is over a volcano. Any other type of pokemon wouldn’t be able to take that kind of heat.

Thunder: But I thought your gym used to be a building, but it got run down after the tourists came.

Blaine: Next question.

Mew: I don’t have any more.

Thunder: Neither do I.

Blaine: I’ll be going then. Bye.

(He walks off the stage.)

Mew: Send out the last gym leader.

Mew Two: He won’t come out.

Thunder: Why not?

Mew Two: He says he doesn’t have time for this.

Kem: I’ll go get him.

(Kem walks off the stage. A few minutes pass. Then Kem returns dragging him by his ear.)

Kem: Now sit down and do this interview.

Giovanni: I hope you die.

Kem: I’ll make you die if you don’t SHUT UP AND DO THIS INTERVIEW!!!!

Thunder: Thank you Kem.

Kem: No problem. I’m here to help.

Giovanni: This is stupid. I don’t even know why I even bothered to show up.

Thunder: You would have had to expect a lawsuit if you wouldn’t have.

Giovanni: Why?

Mew: You signed a legally binding contract.

Thunder: So Giovanni, how are you today?

Giovanni: Shoot me. Please.

Kem: I can do that.

Mew: NO! That’s what you get for signing the contract.

Thunder: Why is your gym last?

Giovanni: Because it is. Why are you asking me? How should I know?

Mew: We’re the ones that are supposed to be asking the questions, not you, so hush.

Thunder: Why are you so crabby all the time?

Giovanni: Happiness is stupid. I see no need for it. THAT is why I'm crabby all the time.

Kem: What planet are you from because I don’t think anything on this planet is that negative.

Giovanni: I merely act like all people should. Happiness and all that optimistic thinking is a waste of time and energy. The world would be much better off if everyone thought like me.

Kem: No. If everyone thought like you this planet would be screwed.

Giovanni: Optimistic people are stupid. They sit around every day trying to see the good in everything. They get so wrapped up in seeing good, they stop seeing the bad in things. Then the evil and negative stuff comes out and the happy people say " that guy might have killed 8 people, but it was a cry for help" .

Kem: Yawn. Are you done yet?

Giovanni: You are merely a child. How could one expect you to comprehend any thing. Are you done bothering me now or do I have to stay and be tormented some more?

Mew: Umm... that conversation was way over my head.

Thunder: Yeah. What does "optimistic" mean?

Mew: I’m not totally sure. Ask Mew Two. As much as we’d like to torment you Giovanni, you aren’t making any sense. So you can go.

Kem: Yeah. Take your stupid, sadness inducing, pessimistic attitude with you.

Thunder: Pessimistic? What the heck does that mean?

(Giovanni leaves the stage.)

Mew: Who’s next Mew Two?

Thunder: And what does "Optimistic" and "Pessimistic" mean?

Mew Two: Loreli is next, "optimistic" means having a positive outlook on things, and "pessimistic" means having a negative outlook on things.

Thunder: Oh. So they’re opposites. Thank you.

(Loreli walks on to the stage.)

Kem: If you’re going to have a bad attitude, leave and don’t waste our time.

Mew: Kem! Don’t be so mean. Hi Loreli.

Loreli: Hi Mew. Hi Thunder.

Thunder: Hi. Is it fun to be a member of the elite four?

Loreli: I guess.

Mew: How do the decide who gets to be in the elite four and who doesn’t?

Loreli: You have to win the pokemon league tournament, and there has to be a spot open. That’s what I understood any way.

Thunder: Do you drink Dr. Pepper?

Loreli: Um.. sometimes.

Thunder: Diet or regular?

Loreli: Regular.

Mew: Are you near sighted or far sighted?

Loreli: I’m near sighted.

Kem: Me too. My glasses are better.

Thunder: Do you like pizza?

Loreli: Yes. Is there a point to these questions?

Mew: Not really.

Thunder: We’re just curious.

Mew: If you want to leave you can.

Thunder: When we ask questions like this it means we’re out of real questions to ask you.

Loreli: Can I ask you a question?

Mew: Other than the one you just asked?

Loreli: Yes.

Thunder: Go for it.

Loreli: Are you always this strange? I don’t mean it as an insult, but you 2 are the strangest pokemon I have ever met.

Mew: This is how we always act, so yes.

Thunder: That’s how Kem trained us.

Loreli: Oh.

Thunder: You can go since we don’t have any more questions for you.

Loreli: OK. Bye.

(She walks off the stage)

Mew: Who’s next?

Mew Two: Bruno.

Thunder: Send him out then.

(Bruno walks on to the stage and sits down.)

Mew: Hello.

Bruno: Um... Hi.

Thunder: What’s wrong with you?

Bruno: I’ve never been interviewed by a Pikachu and a Mew before.

Mew: Don’t worry. We won’t bite you or anything.

Thunder: Yeah. We’re just gonna ask you some questions.

Bruno: OK.

Mew: Do you believe in ghosts?

Bruno: Umm... I don’t know. I never really thought about that.

Thunder: Are you an evil, crabby, what’s that word you called Giovanni’s attitude, Kem?

Kem: Pessimistic?

Thunder: How would you call someone that?

Kem: Oh, you mean pessimist.

Thunder: Yeah. Bruno, are you that?

Bruno: Not really.

Mew: So you do see good in things?

Bruno: Yes.

Thunder: Do you like to color?

Bruno: Like in a coloring book?

Thunder: Yeah.

Bruno: Not really.

Mew: Do you own any crayons?

Bruno: No.

Thunder: Do you want some?

Bruno: No thank you.

Mew: Do you want to color in my coloring book? It has pretty pictures in it.

Bruno: No thank you.

Thunder: Do you like the Powerpuff girls?

Bruno: I’ve never heard of them.

Mew: Do you want to meet them?

Bruno: Why?

Mew: Because they’re cool.

Bruno: No thanks.

Thunder: Awww. You’re boring.

Mew: Yeah. We’re done with you now.

Bruno: OK.

(He walks off the stage.)

Mew Two: Agatha is next.

(She walks on to the stage.)

Mew: Hi.

Agatha: What!?

Mew: I SAID HI!

Agatha: Oh. Hello.

Thunder: How old are you?

Agatha: Older than you.

Mew: How much older? You need to be more specific. Are you Kem’s age? She’s older than us.

Kem: What are you trying to say!?

Agatha: Don’t I wish. No, I’m a lot older than her too.

Thunder: And how old is that? Are you 70?

Agatha: You are very close. And that’s all I'm going to tell you.

Thunder: I’ll just pretend you’re 70 then.

Agatha: OK.

Mew: Do you own a cat?

Agatha: No. Not all old people own cats you know.

Mew: I know. I was just wondering.

Thunder: Are you evil?

Agatha: No.

Mew: Do you like to bake things?

Agatha: Sometimes.

Thunder: Can you teach Kem how to cook?

Kem: Hey!?

Agatha: If she wants to learn.

Mew: You’re really nice.

Agatha: Thank you.

Thunder: All old people are nice.

Kem: No they aren’t. I’ve meet mean old people before.

Mew: You’re cool Agatha, but we have to go to the next guest now.

Agatha: OK. Bye.

(She leaves.)

Thunder: She’s cool.

Kem: Yeah. But the 2 of you are very uncool. I can cook just fine thank you.

Mew: Next.

Mew Two: Your next, and final, guest is Lance.

Thunder: Do we really have to talk to him?

Mew: Yes. He’s a member of the elite four isn’t he?

Thunder: Fine. Send him out.

(He comes on to the stage.)

Mew: Hi.

Lance: Hi.

Thunder: is that the only word we know?

Mew: Shut up.

Kem: What did I tell you about fighting?

Thunder: Sorry. So Lance, you’re the leader of the elite four, correct?

Lance: Yeah.

Thunder: Why?

Lance: I don’t know.

Thunder: You know you are the leader, but you don’t know why?

Lance: Yeah.

Thunder: That makes NO SENSE!

Mew: Why do you train dragon pokemon?

Lance: They’re the best kind of pokemon there is.

Thunder: Electric is better. Lt. Surge knows what’s going on.

Mew: Sha, right. Psychic is the best, right Mew Two?

Mew Two: Preach on Mew!

Mew: I bet I could beat your dragons.

Lance: Oh yeah?

Mew: HELL YEAH!

Lance: You want to fight then?

Mew: Yes.

Thunder: Kem, I almost forgot. After the show, we have to fight Brock and Misty.

Kem: What did you do.

Mew: He picked a fight with them. And now you get to fight Lance too.

Kem: Hurray.

Thunder: Half of your pokemon aren’t even dragons.

Lance: Which ones?

Mew: Aerodactyl, Gyradoes, and Lapras. Those are the only ones I can think of right now.

Thunder: I think you got them all.

Lance: So?

Thunder: Why do you call yourself a DRAGON trainer then?

Lance: It sounds cool.

Kem: This has always bugged me. Why do you wear a cape? It looks stupid.

Mew: You’re a fashion consultant now?

Kem: The cape is irritating, OK? The only people that wear capes are super heroes. Are you a super hero now?

Lance: No. I was trying to be different.

Kem: Couldn’t you have dyed your hair pink or something? Maybe silver, like Sisq’o.

Lance: I’m not going to dye my hair.

Kem: Fine. Don’t. It was just a suggestion.

Mew: Look at the time. Our time slot is over already.

Thunder: Too bad. Tune in tomorrow everyone. Tomorrow our guests are..... the backstreet boys! Just kidding! Like we’d put trash like that on our show. For real, our guests tomorrow are as many members of Team Rocket as we can find.

Mew: I bet you cant wait. Well, good night everyone!

Thunder: Bye.

Kem: Bye.

Lance: Yeah bye. Can we fight now?

Mew: Thunder has to do his first.

Lance: Fine.

Well that’s our show for tonight. Tune in tomorrow to see Team Rocket. Just watch. We don’t need to have the same conversation we had last night do we? Just watch so all of us that make this show possible don’t become unemployed. Have a heart people. We have families to feed and kids to put through college.

Mew, Mew Two, and Thunder: No we don’t.

Well I do. Please watch our show. PLEASE!!!

Thunder: Maybe we need a new announcer....

NO!!! I’m sorry Mr. Thunder! It will never happen again!

Thunder: OK. You can have another chance, but this is the last one.

Thank you sir. You wont regret this, I promise.