Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 24 of TPAMS: The unofficial Dragonball Z Special.

Mew: We weren’t sure if it truly deserved to be a special, so it’s an unofficial special.

Thunder: Just a reminder, we’re still accepting essays so send them in!

Mew: 100 words on why you want us to interview you. That essay.

Thunder: We’ll chose the winning essay on episode 25, so get them here quick!

Mew: On today’s episode of TPAMS, we’ll be doing something we’ve never done before!

Thunder: We’ll allow the audience to ask questions!

Mew: The audience here is so quiet some people didn’t even know we had an audience.

Thunder: But today that’s going to change!

Mew: Also, we’ll have a musical guest today!

Thunder: You’ll never believe who we got either.

Mew: We were going to get Matt’s band to play, but they’re working on the theme song they promised us 3 episodes ago. They’ve given us several to listen to, but we haven’t found one we liked yet.

Thunder: So instead we got..... Nelly!

Mew: How did we get Nelly to rap for us today you ask? Well, it seems Nelly values the life of his dog.

Thunder: Heh heh... Well, as guests today we’ll have Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, Trunks, Piccolo, Chi Chi, Krillin, Cell, Frieza, and the Ginyu Force.

Mew: Why didn’t you get Zarbon!

Thunder: I tried! He wouldn’t return my phone calls!

Mew: But he’s so pretty! And he has a fun name. Zarbon!

Thunder: Get over it, Mew.

Mew: Fine. Why don’t we just start the damn show then.

Thunder: Fine. Mew Two...

Mew Two: Your first guest would be Gohan. And if you’d like Mew, I could try to reach Zarbon again.

Mew: That would be lovely. Thank you.

Mew Two: Okay. I’ll get on that right away.

(We wait in silence for a minute or so for Gohan to come out. He doesn’t.)

Thunder: What’s the fricking hold up!?

(Goku walks onto the stage followed by Gohan)

Goku: I’m sorry guys. He was afraid to come out her by himself. Apparently, you 2 scare him.

(Thunder and Mew cover their faces to try and hide the fact that they are laughing.)

Thunder: It’s okay Gohan.

Mew: We won’t bite.

(They both start laughing hysterically)

Thunder: Okay. Okay. We’re sorry. How are you today?

Gohan: I’m fine.

Mew: That’s pretty sad that the “worlds strongest fighter” won’t come on stage without daddy.

Thunder: Yeah. I thought you were a bad ass. But I guess I was wrong.

Gohan: I don’t need my dad.

Mew: Then why is he here?

Gohan: Ummmm......

Thunder: I knew it! You’re a wuss! I hate to break it to you Gohan but daddy won’t always be there to protect you. Will you, Goku?

(Chi Chi runs on to the stage)

Chi Chi: Stop picking on my baby! Goku! Why are you letting them do that!?

Thunder: Chill out lady. We’re just telling your kid the truth about the real world. You won’t always be there, will you Goku?

Goku: No. I won’t. But I believe that he can take care of himself. He’s just nervous.

Mew: Riight. Blame nerves. You’re lucky we’re you’re friends, Goku, or I’d have to smack you for being stupid.

Goku: *sigh*

Chi Chi: I don’t think I like you 2.

Thunder: T.S. Hey! Let’s get the audience to ask some questions!

Mew: Okay.

(She takes a microphone and flies into the audience)

Mew: Okay! Raise your hand if you want to ask Goku, Gohan, or Chi Chi a question.

(Hands go up all over)

Mew: Let’s see..... How about... you!

(She flies over too a girl in the last row)

Mew: Okay. What do you have to say?

Girl: I just wanted to ask Gohan if he had a girlfriend.

(Thunder and Mew start laughing.)

Thunder: Well.....

Gohan: Ummm... no. Not now.

Chi Chi: And not for a long, LONG time.

Thunder: You’re a real nag, you know that?

Chi Chi: You want to fight rat boy!?

Thunder: Bring it on!

(Goku steps between them)

Goku: No! That’s not necessary. It really isn’t.

Thunder: Then tell the annoying wife of yours to back off.

Chi Chi: I won’t! You make sure he shuts his stupid face, Goku.

Goku: It’s his show! I have no control over what he does.

Chi Chi: Then we’re leaving! Come on Gohan!

(Chi Chi and Gohan walk off the stage)

Goku: I better go.

Thunder: Okay. Just to let you know, I don’t like her and I think you could have done better for yourself.

Mew: Agreed.

Goku: Oh well. Bye guys.

Thunder and Mew: Bye!

(He walks off the stage)

Mew: That was a total disaster. Let’s try again. Who’s next Mew Two?

Mew Two: Next up is Trunks.

Mew: Who?

Thunder: The dude with the purple hair.

Mew: Oh yeah! That’s Vegeta’s kid right?

Thunder: Yes.

Mew: Okay. Send him out.

Mew Two: I can’t believe you don’t even know who you invited to your show.

Mew: I said: SEND HIM OUT!

Mew Two: Okay, Okay.

(Trunks walks onto the stage. He looks at Thunder, then over to Mew, then slowly sits down)

Thunder: Hi.

Trunks: Hello. Ummm...

Thunder: I am a Pikachu. She is a Mew. Pikachus and Mews are Pokémon. Does that cover everything or are you still confused?

Trunks: I knew that... But I thought Pokémon couldn’t talk.

Mew: We don’t normally. We’re just in the wonderful age of translators. That’s what Thunder has behind his ear. I have one too. See?

(She pulls a small piece of metal out from behind her ear)

Mew: Mew mew mew meeew. Mew mew mew mew?

Trunks: Excuse me?

(She puts it back)

Mew: I said: This is really annoying. Wouldn’t you agree?

Trunks: I guess it kind of is, but how does that work?

Mew Two: Allow me to explain seeing as I designed it. The translator emits waves that rearrange the speech that comes out of their mouths. They’re still speaking their language, but it is altered so we hear English.

Trunks: But if it’s behind their ears, how does it get the waves it emitted near their mouths?

Mew Two: It emits them in a kind of force field that surrounds the entire head.

Trunks: I see. So it’s just behind the ear for vanity purposes?

Mew Two: Bingo.

Mew: He had this other one that covered up half our faces but we told him to find a way to make it smaller. Originally, he had a translator next to the guests so they knew what was going on. It was altered before the show was to be aired so our viewers were none the wiser. Bwahahahahahaha!

(Everyone stares at her)

Mew: Never mind. So Trunks, you’re from the future, correct?

Trunks: Yes.

Mew: How did you get to the past?

Trunks: A time machine my mother built.

Thunder: How come you have a sword if you never use it?

Trunks: I use it when I have to. You never know when a robot might try to kill you.

Mew: Why wouldn’t you just punch it?

Trunks: That’d hurt your hand.

Mew: Why don’t you use some of your super sayen magic or what ever you call it?

Trunks: That uses lots of energy. It’s easier to just carry a sword.

Thunder: Ignore her. She’s ignorant.

Mew: Like you even know what that means!

Thunder: I do too! It means.... Ummmm.....

Mew Two: Uneducated, uninformed, stupid....

Thunder: Yeah!

Mew: *sigh* Does anyone in the audience have a question for Trunks?

(Several hands go up)

Mew: Are they good questions unlike the one that was asked of Gohan?

(A few hands go down)

Mew: Okay then..... I choose you! Eeeewwww! I sounded like Ash!

(She goes over to a boy in the front row)

Boy: Ummm... HI. I’d just like to say that your show rules and I’m so glad I finally got to come see it live.

Mew: Yeah. Thanks. We love you too. What’s your question?

Boy: Who do you think is stronger, Trunks, Mew or Mew Two?

Trunks: Ummmm... Seeing as they both could kick my ass, I think it’d be best for me to not answer that.

Mew and Mew Two: Damn straight.

Mew: Okay. Thanks for the lame question. How about you?

(She goes to a girl a few rows back)

Girl: Do you have any information that would allow you to answer the question he just asked?

Trunks: Well, I saw the episode were the two of them were fighting and they both proved to be very powerful. I couldn’t tell you who really is stronger. As for who I think, that is really very unimportant because my opinion doesn’t necessarily reflect the truth.

Thunder: Uh-huh....

Mew: That took a lot of words and I didn’t completely follow you.

Trunks: *sigh* No.

Mew: That’s the kind of answer we like. Good job.

Thunder: You have to remember Trunks, big words confuse me. You have to make your answers as simple as possible. Pretend you’re talking to a 5 year old.

Trunks: Okay...

Mew: Okay. Now you may ask your question.

(She goes over to a little boy)

Boy: On Tom and Jerry, who do you like better, Tom or Jerry?

Mew: Oh! The old who’s better: The cat or the mouse question.

Thunder: That’s a great way to get the hosts after him, kid.

Trunks: Well, I don’t really like that show. And to be completely honest with you, I’m deathly afraid of mice. I have a cat, but mice scare me. I hate mice. No offense Thunder.

Thunder: Fine then. Go ahead and hate me.

Trunks: No! I didn’t mean it that way at all! You don’t look like a mouse, so you aren’t scary. But mice like the kind that infest houses scare me half to death. I can handle evil androids, demented space aliens, and all those super strong evil things that try to destroy the earth, but when it comes to mice, I become extremely helpless and scared.

Mew: A super strong guy like you is terrified of mice?

Trunks: I never said I was proud of that! I merely am acknowledging that fact.

Thunder: So if I ran around on the floor and started eating large amounts of cheese, I would scare you?

Trunks: You look more like a rabbit than a mouse. I like rabbits, but I hate mice!

Mew Two: They’re both rodents.

Trunks: I know! I know! But mice scare me! And don’t even start me on rats. I was hospitalized after I saw a rat.

Mew: What happened?

Trunks: I fainted and hit my head on a chair.

Thunder: Ouch.

Trunks: Tell me about it.

Mew: That’s really sad. You’re one of the strongest fighters in the universe, and yet you’re afraid of mice and rats.

Trunks: They’re gross, they carry diseases, and they’re ugly!

(Tears start forming in Thunder’s eyes)

Trunks: No! You aren’t gross, disease carrying, and ugly, the icky kind of mice are.

(Thunder sniffles. He walks off the stage and returns a moment later with a shoe box. He opens the box in front of Trunks)

Thunder: *sniffle* This kind?

Trunks: Eeeww! Yes. That kind. Please close the box now...

Thunder: But these are my 3rd cousins twice removed. They’re nice. They won’t hurt you.

Trunks: Please Th-Thunder... Put th-them away...

Thunder: Are they scaring you?

Trunks: Yes.

Thunder: But they’re harmless! See?

(He pets one of the mice. Trunks starts shaking and rocking back and forth in his chair)

Thunder: Oh come on! They aren’t scary! You pet one.

(He looks at Thunder then stares in horror at the box)

Trunks: Y-you wa-want me to t-touch one?

Thunder: Yeah. In fact, you can hold my cousin Patches.

(He takes a mouse out of the box and drops it on Trunks)

Trunks: I-I’m t-trying ver-very har-hard n-not t-t-to sc-sc-scream. Please ta-take t-that off of m-me.

Thunder: You can do it yourself. I know you can.

Trunks: I can’t. I will scream, or faint. Please take it off of me.

Thunder: face your fears and do it yourself.

Mew: Oh stop it Thunder. You’re going to give the poor boy a heart attack.

(She flies over, picks up the mouse and stares at it.)

Mew: Eeeww! I don’t know why, but I’m actually considering eating this. Gross!

(She drops it in the box. Thunder takes it back stage. Trunks stops shaking)

Trunks: Thanks Mew.

Mew: Any time. When you said they scared you, you weren’t kidding.

(At that moment, several mice from the box run out from back stage)

Trunks: Ahhh!

(He jumps up onto his chair)

Mew: THUNDER!

Thunder: I’m sorry! I accidentally dropped it! Sorry Trunks!

Trunks: Gross! Gross!

Mew: CLEAN THOSE UP NOW!

Thunder: I’m trying!

Mew Two: I’ll do it.

(All the mice begin floating. They all float into the box. The box closes, is taped shut, then floats off the stage)

Mew: Thank you, Mew Two. Are you okay Trunks?

Trunks: No.

Thunder: Maybe you should go lay down.

Trunks: I don’t care as long as I’m no where near any mice.

Thunder: That can be arranged. Go on.

Trunks: Okay. Bye.

Thunder and Mew: Bye!

(He walks off the stage)

Mew: Yet another disaster. Thanks Thunder.

Thunder: Shut up. Who’s next?

Mew Two: Vegeta.

(He walks onto the stage)

Vegeta: I told him you’d have a field day with that.

Thunder: I didn’t mean to traumatize him for life.

Mew: Well, I think you did. He now has an emotional scar from which he will never recover.

Vegeta: Nonsense. He’ll get over it. He always does.

Mew: Stop telling Thunder that was okay! It was not okay!

Vegeta: Fine.

Mew: That’s better. So, how are you today?

Vegeta: Fine.

Thunder: How come you don’t have your usual crabby attitude?

Vegeta: I was just at the dentist and the gas hasn’t completely worn off yet.

Mew: But you’re speaking normally.

Vegeta: I just got my teeth cleaned.

Mew: They gave you gas when all they were doing is cleaning your teeth?

Vegeta: I refused to watch someone digging around in my mouth. I hate dentists but I was forced to go.

Mew: Awww... Poor Vegeta. But now you won’t need dentures in 10 years.

Vegeta: At least with dentures some weird person wouldn’t be digging around in my mouth.

Thunder: Oh get over it. Any ways, what have you been up to lately?

Vegeta: I bought a TV yesterday.

Mew: Is it a nice TV?

Vegeta: Yeah. Goku helped me pick it out.

Thunder: Is it a big TV?

Vegeta: Only 27 inches. I don’t watch enough TV for a big one. Do you know what the first show I watched on it was?

Mew: Ummmm...... The Weakest Link?

Vegeta: No.

Thunder: Big Brother 2?

Vegeta: No.

Mew: Montel?

Thunder: Jerry Springer?

Mew: Cardcaptors?

Thunder: Outlaw Star?

Vegeta: No, no, no, and no.

Mew: I know! You watched The Famous Jett Jackson!

Vegeta: No.

Mew: I did...

Thunder: Did you watch our rival talk show... Anime Talk?

Vegeta: Of course not.

Mew: Well, unless it was Pokémon or Digimon, I’m fresh out of suggestions.

Thunder: Me too.

Vegeta: I watched your show.

Mew: You watched TPAMS without being forced?

Vegeta: Yes. It was funny when that Davis kid passed out. That was great. It reminds me of the Evil Day special when I ate the weird cookies and got sick.

Mew: That was funny! Lets show a clip of that!

Vegeta: I don’t know if-

Thunder: We should! Do that Tracey!

(The screen changes to a scene at Giovanni’s house from the Evil Day Special)

Thunder: So what have you been up to lately Giovanni, yeah?

Giovanni: Nothing. And why must you say “yeah” at the end of every sentence?

Thunder: Fun, yeah.

Vegeta: Do you have anything that will make me stop seeing things?

Giovanni: what are you talking about?

Vegeta: there’s a pink elephant on your ceiling.

Giovanni: Maybe. Let me see. Don’t touch anything.

(Giovanni leaves the room)

Vegeta: Look at the colors Thunder! Huh? it’s Lucky the Leprechaun! Lucky!

Thunder: This is bad, yeah.

(The screen goes back to Thunder, Mew, and Vegeta. They’re all laughing.)

Mew: More! I know we had more than that.

(The screen changes to another clip)

Mew Two: No. Say, what’s wrong with Vegeta?

Vegeta: Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids!

Thunder: The cookies are getting to him, yeah.

(Giovanni returns)

Giovanni: No. what are you doing?

Vegeta: Shh! I'm trying to catch the leprechaun so I can get his pot of gold!

Giovanni: what the hell!?

Mew Two: Ummm.... I think Vegeta needs a rest too.

Vegeta: NO! YOU CAN’T HAVE MY POT OF GOLD! NO!

Giovanni: this is scary.

Thunder: Yeah, yeah.

Mew Two: Evil Day is going so wrong.

(It goes back to the studio. Everyone is laughing now.)

Thunder: Okay. I think we have 1 more.

(The screen cuts to the final clip)

Mew Two: keep waiting.

Vegeta: Hi little leprechaun. WHAT!? DIE LEPRECHAUN! TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!

Mew: What’s wrong with Vegeta?

Mew Two: he ate some tainted cookies. It’s a long story.

(You see Thunder again)

Thunder: Is that it Giovanni, yeah?

Giovanni: Yes.

Mew Two: Take Vegeta to a hospital or something will you.

Giovanni: I suppose.

Vegeta: NOOOOO!!!! THE JADE MONKEY FLIES AT DAWN! PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER!!!

Thunder: Riiiight, yeah. Bye Giovanni, yeah.

(The screen cuts back to the studio where everyone is laughing hysterically.)

Vegeta: That was funny.

Mew: Yes. That had to be one of the most entertaining moments of our show.

Thunder: And it was exactly 10 episodes ago. Cool.

Mew: Okay. Okay. Back to the show now. Does the audience have any questions for Vegeta?

(Lots of hands go up)

Mew: Okay... How about you with the “Vegeta is cool” sign.

Keleri: Me? Really!? Yay! You’re cool too Mew!

Thunder: What about me?

Keleri: You’re cool too! I just wanted to ask how you get your hair to stick up like that. Do you have a rod in it or something?

Vegeta: Well, it’s a combination of gel and hair spray. No rods or sticks.

Keleri: So that’s entirely your hair?

Vegeta: Yes.

Keleri: Are you sure you don’t have a balloon in the middle or something?

Vegeta: Yes.

Keleri: Your hair must be really long then. Maybe you should cut it.

Vegeta: Why? Then people couldn’t have fun saying I look like a troll.

Mew: Hey!? He does look like a troll!

(Her and Thunder start laughing)

Vegeta: See?

Keleri: Okay. Can I ask another question?

Mew: Well, it’s not fair to the rest of the audience, but okay.

Keleri: Do you like bunnies?

Vegeta: Not really. They’re just long eared rats if you ask me.

Keleri: Then you don’t want this bunny?

(Keleri holds up a small rabbit)

Vegeta: Not really.

Keleri: But I named it Vegeta! It told me that it wanted to come to the show to see you, and I don’t need a rabbit, so I thought I’d give him to you.

Vegeta: It told you that?

Keleri: Yes! He wants to be your friend, Vegeta!

Vegeta: How about I say hi to the rabbit, and you keep it.

Keleri: Okay.

Vegeta: Okay. Hi Vegeta the rabbit.

Keleri: Thank you!

(Keleri sits down with the rabbit)

Mew: That was kinda weird.

Thunder: But it was a cute rabbit...

Mew and Vegeta: *sigh*

Mew: Does anyone else have a question for Vegeta?

(Hands go up again)

Mew: How about the kid in red with the “I love Mew” sign.

(The boy stands up and waves the sign around)

Mew: What’s your question, dear.

Boy: What had happened to you on that Evil Day clip? It was funny, but I didn’t know why you were crazy.

Vegeta: We had gone to “Him”’s house and he gave us some cookies. No one actually ate them until he threatened us. They were poorly cooked and had all kinds of bacteria and I got sick.

Mew: Although it was sad you were sick, the ratings were great! Thanks Vegeta!

Keleri: Vegeta rules! Right Vegeta the rabbit?

(The rabbit wiggles it’s nose)

Keleri: That’s so cute!

Mew: O-kayyyyy..... One more question. The girl that waving the Pikachu doll in the air.

Girl: Do you have a last name?

Vegeta: Of course, but that’s not important.

Mew: Okay. I’m afraid we have to let you go Vegeta.

Vegeta: Okay. Bye.

Thunder, Mew, and Keleri: BYE!

(He walks off the stage)

Mew: Who’s next?

Mew Two: Krillin. And I was able to reach Zarbon.

Mew: What did he say!?

Mew Two: He said he was sorry he didn’t return your calls. Apparently he was out of town for the week. He said he would have liked to come, but he had to go eat dinner at his mother’s house.

Mew: Awwww....

Thunder: Okay. Thanks, Two. But before we send out Krillin, lets have Nelly rap for us!

Mew: Okay. Send him out Mew Two.

(Mew Two walks a very confused Nelly on to the stage. Mew Two talks to him for a few minutes, and then he sings “Ride With Me”. Thunder and Mew laugh through the whole thing. Then Nelly returns back stage and Krillin comes out)

Mew Two: He wants to know when he gets his dog back.

Mew: After the show. We might want him to sing again. Now Krillin, how are you?

Krillin: Good.

Thunder: What are the 6 dots on your head for? Did you hit your head on a block (the board with spikes in it) or something?

Krillin: They’re birth marks.

Mew: I like the falling on the block idea better.

Thunder: Didn’t Nelly do a good job?

Krillin: Yes. I was wondering... Is it true you kidnapped his dog to get him to come here?

Thunder: No. The dog came willing.

Mew: Yep. There was no kidnapping.

Krillin: Gosh. You guys could get away with murder, couldn’t you?

Mew: Most likely.

Thunder: Maybe we should try....

Mew: That’s an idea....

Mew Two: Stop that!

Mew: Fine. Jerk. Any way, how many times have you watched our show Krillin?

Krillin: Actually, I watched for the first time yesterday. I wanted to know what show I had agreed to come on.

Thunder: Are you serious!? Get!

Krillin: What? Why?

Mew: All our other guests, with the exception of the ones on the first 3 episodes, had seen 3 episodes before they came on the show. Some have even seen ALL of them. Now you go away until you’ve seen at least 3 episodes.

Krillin: Okay...

(He walks off the stage)

Mew: We are so mean.

Thunder: I just didn’t want to talk to him.

Mew: Same. Who’s next?

Mew Two: Piccolo. And that was the biggest lie you have ever told.

Mew: Who had seen less than that?

Mew Two: Kem’s friends and Sailor Moon.

Mew: Ummmmm.... Shut Up! Just send out the next guest!

(Piccolo walks on to the stage)

Mew: Hi Pickles.

Piccolo: It’s Piccolo.

Mew: I like Pickles better.

Piccolo: Then can I call you Spew?

Mew: Fine. You don’t need to address me by name any way. So there.

Thunder: *sigh* Say, we’ve been doing a lot of sighing today.

Mew: We have!

Thunder: Interesting. So Piccolo, what’s new with you?

Piccolo: Not a lot. I went TV shopping with Vegeta and Goku. I told him to get the 61 inch, but he wouldn’t. Then I walked off and looked at DVDs.

Mew: Did you buy any?

Piccolo: Yes. I got various Jackie Chan ones. He’s a good fighter.

Thunder: I agree. Did you do anything else?

Piccolo: I got a pet rat.

Mew: Really?

Piccolo: Yes. It was the one that nearly killed Trunks. He won’t visit me any more.

Thunder: I’m not suprised.

Mew: Do you watch football, Pickles?

Piccolo: Yes. I’m a Packer fan! Go Green Bay!

Thunder: So is Kem’s mom.

Piccolo: Well, they have lots of green in their uniforms so it’s only fitting that a green alien such as myself would like them.

Mew: So does Philadelphia.

Thunder: And Seattle.

Piccolo: But we also want to support winners.

Mew: I see. Do you dislike the Vikings then?

Piccolo: Of course. It’s really too bad that one of their best players died during training camp though.

Thunder: Oh yes. That was sad. A lot of people were really upset about that. It has Kem’s sister convinced that Dennis Green is evil.

Mew: He is!

Piccolo: I agree that lots could have been done to prevent that, but you have to lay some blame on the player himself.

Mew: True. We probably shouldn’t turn this into a fight. Let’s all just agree that it was very sad indeed and move on.

Thunder and Piccolo: Okay.

Mew: Does the audience have any questions for Pickles?

(Lots of hands go up. Mew flies over to a girl at the end of the first row)

Mew: Lets hear it.

Girl: Where did all the Namekians go after Namek blew up?

Piccolo: Earth. Then, I think Namek was restored and they all went back there. I’m not sure though.

Mew: Why not!?

Piccolo: I don’t really know. I like Earth and have no plans of leaving any time soon. Not to mention, I have no family on Namek so there’s no one I talk to there.

Thunder: I guess that excuses you then.

Mew: Okay. Now...you.

(She flies across the studio to a boy dressed in green)

Boy: Okay. Is it true that Elvis was originally from the planet Namek?

Piccolo: I don’t think so... I heard he was from Nashville 5.

Thunder: Is that a planet?

Piccolo: Yeah. Lots of country singers people think are human are really from there.

Thunder: I knew it!

Mew: *sigh* Okay. One more question... You!

(She flies over to a boy in the top row)

Boy: How many times have you had to regrow body parts?

Piccolo: Ummmm... 12 times that I can think of. Most of which were caused by Goku.

Mew: What did he do?

Piccolo: He used to have this dog that was pure evil. I’m not even kidding! He got rid of it after you gave him Bunny. Any way, the dog used to like to chew on things and I was unlucky enough to become a chew toy repeatedly. See, Goku knew I hated the dog but he let it out any way and the dog had an extreme hatred for the color green and every time he saw me he tried to eat my arm. Unfortunately, he got away with my arm lots of times.

Thunder and Mew: Gross!

Mew: Well, thanks for the great story Pickles.

Piccolo: Any time Spew.

Thunder: We have to change guests now. We’ll have to have you back again.

Piccolo: Okay. Bye.

Thunder and Mew: BYE!

(He walks off the stage)

Mew Two: Next up is Cell.

(He walks on to the stage)

Cell: I just wanted to say that you 2 are great!

Mew: We are?

Cell: Yes! It’s so nice to see a non-human talk show become so successful!

Thunder: Why, thank you.

Mew: Why does than make you so happy?

Cell: Well, a friend of mine (Jar Jar Banks) was the most successful non-human talk show host for a long time, but she was still second to humans. Then you came along and not only beat her, but all the humans too. I was getting so sick of Jerry Springer being number one.

Mew: Tell me about it.

Thunder: You know, you don’t seem so evil to me.

Cell: I’m not really. I was just acting.

Mew: And very well, I must say.

Cell: Thanks Mew.

Thunder: If you don’t like trying to destroy the Earth, what do you do for fun?

Cell: Well, I love quilting. It’s so relaxing.

(Thunder and Mew cover their faces in an attempt to hide their laughter)

Mew: Is there anything else?

Cell: Oh yes! I also Knit. And I cook. I’m actually getting my on show! “Quilting, Knitting, and Cooking with Cell”.

(Thunder and Mew stop trying to contain their laughter. They fall over on the floor laughing.)

Cell: I know. It does seem kind of weird.

Mew: Yeah. You don’t seem like the Quilting, Knitting, or Cooking type.

Cell: Oh, but I am! In fact, I was hoping you 2 would come one my show!

Mew: Of course we will. When does it start.

Cell: Well, your network bought my idea and my first episode is on after TPAMS 25.

Thunder: Tomorrow? Wow!

Cell: I know. You guys can be on my second episode!

Thunder: Okay.

Mew: Lets see who has a question for Cell.

(She flies around the audience. She stops at an angry looking boy who was sitting next to a girl who was waving her hand in the air like crazy.)

Mew: What’s wrong with you?

Boy: What’s it to you!?

Mew: Nothing. I was just wondering why you looked like I killed your mom and you want revenge.

Boy: If you really want to know, I hate your show with a passion and am only hear because I had to bring my idiot sister.

Mew: Well, you hate our show do you?

Boy: And I hate you.

Mew: Fun! I’m not too fond of you either! Would you like to play a game with us today?

Boy: Hell no!

Mew: Tough s***. Come on.

(She drags him on to the stage. A chair appears and she pushes him into it.)

Mew: You watch Anime Talk, don’t you?

Boy: Every day.

Mew: They sent you here didn’t they?

Boy: What’s it to you b****?

Mew: ANSWER ME!

Boy: What if they did?

Mew: Well, I have a message for you to send to those morons. But first-

(She ties him to the chair. Mew Two and Blossom the Charizard bring out a large cardboard box. Mew opens it and pulls out a package of paper plates and a can of spray cheese.)

Mew: Most shows would use whipped cream, but spray cheese is so much more original.

Thunder: We’re the innovators not the- ummmm..... Copier people.

Mew: Nicely put Thunder.

Thunder: Thanks.

Mew: I hope you like cheese!

(She starts spraying the plate. Then she stops)

Mew: Skip the plate!

(She sprays the cheese on straight on to his face and hair. After she covers him with 3 cans worth, she stops)

Mew: Okay. Now tell your bosses this: No matter how hard they try, we will always beat them. So just give up and sell us your studio.

Thunder: We want to build a TPAMS merchandise store there.

Mew: Trust us. You’ll earn more selling the land to us then carrying on with your worthless show. Now get out of my site before I become violent.

(The boy runs off the stage)

Mew: That’s just a lesson to all of you that we DO NOT tolerate people who hate us in our studio.

Cell: How did you know he was a spy?

Mew: I found his ID card in the entrance on my way to the set.

(She hold up an ID card for the Anime Talk studio with the Boy’s picture on it)

Cell and Thunder: Oh!

Mew: Well, he wasted your time Cell. I’m afraid we’ll have to move on now.

Cell: Okay. See you later!

Thunder and Mew: BYE!

(He walks off the stage)

Mew Two: Next up is Frieza.

(He walks on to the stage. He’s carrying a box.)

Mew: Hi Frieza. What’s in the box.

Frieza: Hi Mew. Hi Thunder. I brought you guys something.

Mew: Oooh! What!?

Thunder: Yes! What!? What!?

(Frieza opens the box and pulls out a funny looking cat thing)

Mew: Ummmm..... What is it?

Frieza: It’s a Cabbit.

Mew: A Cabbit?

Frieza: Well, it’s not really a cat, and it’s not really a rabbit, so we call it a Cabbit. It’s from Zootopia. The Zoo planet. I hope you like her. She loves your show and is really good at taking tickets. She worked the admission counter at the Zootopia entrance gates.

Thunder: Neat. Can she talk or anything?

Frieza: Yeah. She just has to keep her mouth shut until she completely adjusts to the Earth’s gravity.

Mew: What will happen if she opens her mouth before then?

Frieza: Her digestive track will fly out.

Thunder and Mew: Eeewww!

Frieza: Just don’t make her talk yet.

Mew: Does she speak English?

Frieza: Better than most Americans. She also speaks Japanese, French, Russian, and Oddish.

Mew and Thunder: Oddish?

Frieza: Yes. She’s using that as her start to speaking all Pokémon languages.

Mew: You know they all sound the same to us right?

Frieza: What?

Mew Two: You see, If Thunder started speaking Pikachu to Mew, she’d understand. If she spoke Mew to him, He’d understand.

Frieza: Are all Pokémon like that?

Mew Two: Yes. Unlike humans, we’re all so close to each other that even though we speak different languages, we understand each other perfectly.

Frieza: Oh. Well, she’s not a Pokémon so she still has a lot to learn. Say, what language do you speak Mew Two?

Mew Two: English. I was raised speaking it telepathically and it kind of stuck. I do speak Mew when I’m in Legendary Land though. My family prefers that I do. In fact, that’s the only time I actually speak.

Thunder: You can talk!? I didn’t know that!

(Everyone looks at him)

Thunder: I mean using his mouth!

Everyone: OH!

Frieza: Isn’t it hard to only use telepathy to speak? I’d imagine it’d be hard to constantly keep your mouth shut.

Mew Two: I actually prefer telepathy. I can speak and chew at the same time and it creeps everyone out.

(Everyone stares at him)

Mew Two: You all know you’d do that if you could!

Mew: I can. He taught me how. I like using my mouth better though.

Thunder: He really does talk while chewing! It was so creepy Kem told him not to do it while he’s around her.

Mew Two: It’s one of my special talents.

Mew: ANY WAY, lets talk about you for a minute, Frieza.

Frieza: Okay.

Mew: How’s your dad?

Frieza: good. He thought I should bring you the Cabbit.

Mew: Did you do anything fun lately?

Frieza: I went to the shopping planet (Wal-Mart) and bought a new hat.

Thunder: is it a cool hat?

Frieza: Yeah. I meant to wear it, but I left it in my ship.

Mew: You know, you don’t seem so evil either.

Frieza: No one is actually as evil as my character on the show. I’m just a half way decent actor.

Thunder: That you are.

Mew: What do you do for fun?

Frieza: I’m a rapper.

(Thunder and Mew start laughing hysterically)

Frieza: I am. Seriously. I also dance Ballet.

(They laugh even harder)

Frieza: Do you want to see?

Mew: Yeah!

Frieza: Okay.

(He gets up and starts twirling and spinning on the stage. Everyone starts laughing. After a few minutes, he stops and everyone applauds.)

Frieza: Now I will rap for you.

(He starts rapping. Everyone laughs, then applauds when he’s done. Then he sits down.)

Mew: You were a good dancer.

Thunder: And he was a disturbingly good rapper too.

Mew: Does the audience have any questions for Frieza?

(Every hand goes up)

Mew: Questions that don’t involve him rapping or dancing more than he already has.

(Several hands go down)

Mew: Okay then. I pick.. you!

(She goes over to a girl in the back row)

Girl: Is your body really half robot?

Frieza: No. I do have a metal plate in my head though.

Mew: Why?

Frieza: I hit my head in a snow boarding accident. My skull was badly damaged an a metal plate was the only way to keep me alive.

Thunder: Did you ever go snowboarding again?

Frieza: Oh yes. I go every week. I go to the planet Frieza. It’s named after me.

Mew: Why?

Frieza: My dad bought it for me. It used to be called Ski-land or something, but I changed the name. I decided it wasn’t fair that Vegeta had a planet named after him and I didn’t.

Thunder: But the planet Vegeta blew up. In fact, YOU blew it up.

Frieza: It’s still there.

Mew: That’s not what Vegeta said.

Frieza: Well, Vegeta just doesn’t want to acknowledge it’s there because he believes he failed them because he allowed Goku to live. He pretends it’s not there so he doesn’t feel as bad.

Thunder: Is that so?

Frieza: Yes, but you didn’t hear it from me.

Mew: Okay. Lets have another audience question.

(She flies over to a boy holding a Goku action figure)

Boy: Do people ever mistake you for the evil Frieza you play on TV?

Mew: That’s the best question we’ve gotten all day! Good job! Here’s a 50.

(She gives the boy a 50 dollar bill)

Frieza: Oh yes. I went in to a Outback Steak House once and everyone threw their valuables at me and dove onto the floor. I explained that I wasn’t really bad and gave back their stuff.

Mew: That was nice of you. I probably would have took the stuff and left.

Thunder: Me too. But that’s because we’re famous and above the law!

Mew and Thunder: SCORE!

Mew: Well, we have to let you go Frieza. DO visit again.

Frieza: Okay. Bye!

(He walks off the stage)

Mew Two: You 2 are going to get arrested one of these days.

Mew: Sure we will (sarcasm)

Mew Two: *sigh* Your next and final guests are the Ginyu Force.

(They walk on to the stage, wave to the crowd, then strike one of their stupid poses)

Mew: Ummm... That was lovely.

Thunder: You can ditch the pose now.

Captain Ginyu: Okay. Ginyu Force! Relax!

(They drop the stupid pose)

Mew: Okay. What is with those stupid poses?

Thunder: Yeah. Maybe if you’d spend more time learning how to fight and less time practicing those damn poses, you’d stop getting your asses kicked.

Captain Ginyu: The poses are the Ginyu Force! Without them we are nothing!

Mew: That’s something? Okaaaayyyyy....

Captain Ginyu: You just don’t understand! The poses must be perfect! We are the Ginyu Force!

(They all pose again)

Mew: Stop that!

(They relax again)

Mew: You’re all dumb and irritating. We only invited you here to ask why you do those dumb poses. If you have nothing to say to us, you may leave.

Captain Ginyu: Actually, I do have something to say to you.

(He pulls out a sheet of paper and puts on some reading glasses.)

Captain Ginyu: Number 1, What planet are you from?

Mew: Earth.

Captain Ginyu: Earth. Okay. Question 2, What is your favorite food?

Mew and Thunder: Pizza!

Captain Ginyu: Pizza. Question 3, Have you ever committed any crimes?

Mew: No.

Thunder: But we kidnapp-

Mew: NO, Thunder.

Captain Ginyu: No. Okay-

Mew: Why are you asking all these questions?

Captain Ginyu: My mother is a big fan and wanted the answers to these 75 questions.

Mew: Give me that! And the pen too!

(She snatches the paper and pen and begins reading and filling in answers)

Thunder: Okaaayyyy... I guess that’s it for today’s episode of TPAMS. Tune in tomorrow because we’ll be announcing the essay contest winner and interviewing some people that we’ve never had on our show before, all of which will be bringing something fun to share with us!

Mew: Ummmm... Two! What’s our mother’s maiden name?

Thunder: *sigh* Some help she is. Any way, our guests are Gene and Jim from Outlaw Star who will actually let us se the ship, Karen and Shiro from the 08th MS Team who are bringing a mobile suit, Princess Zelda who is bringing the Triforce. Don’t ask me how or where she got it, she just did. I didn’t know she could, but she did. I really wanted to see what the deal was with that thing. Also on tomorrow’s show, we decided to take and read a bunch of fan mail on the air! Tomorrow’s going to be a good one so don’t miss it for anything! I hope you enjoyed today’s episode and all that good stuff. Goodnight everyone!

Mew: Ummmm... Two! What kind of siding is on mom and dad’s house? Is it vinyl or aluminum?

Thunder: *sigh* She meant to say bye. BYE!

That’s it for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show. Tune in tomorrow to see new guests with fun stuff. Goodnight everyone.