Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 26 of TPAMS. I’d like to thank all the viewers who sent lots of get better cards and stuff yesterday. It turns out there wasn’t anything seriously wrong with me.

Mew: Yeah. When Kem brought him the pie she had just made, the smell brought him out of the coma.

Thunder: Thanks again Kem! Any way, we were supposed to have the essay winner, but it turned out to be Ash. I knew that the name Ashley sounded familiar. He was also the “because” kid, so we’re going to ask you to send more essays. If you’ve been on the show before, don’t send one because we’ll find out and then we won’t talk to you.

Mew: But we are going to have your favorite guests today! Here’s who you, the viewers (well 1000 of you any way) wanted to see.

It went like this, we asked 1000 people to say what people they wanted to see on the show. Here are the top 10:

10 ~ Misty with 250 votes

9 ~ Madison with 300 votes

8 ~ Trunks with 400 votes

7 ~ Tai and Matt (tied) with 450 votes

6 ~ Brick and Blossom (tied) with 499 votes

5 ~ Ash and Richie (tied) with 500 votes

4 ~ Sailor Neptune with 600 votes

3 ~ Davis and Ken (tied) with 700 votes

2 ~ Goku and Vegeta (tied) with 750 votes

1 ~ Giovanni with 1,000 votes

Thunder: Some close calls were Darien, Brock, and Lawrence III who were just barely below Misty. I’m really sad that you liked Misty more than them.

Mew: I think they just wanted to see her cry again.

Thunder: We can do that.

Mew: We can also announce the special suprise.

Thunder: But we won’t.

Mew: You have to stay tuned for that.

Thunder: We’ll get to that later. For now, let’s bring out number 10.

Mew Two: Misty?

Mew: Yes dear.

Mew Two: She’s not here yet.

Thunder: Fine then. Is number 9 here?

Mew Two: Yes.

Mew: Send her out then.

(Madison walks on to the stage)

Thunder: Hello Madison.

Mew: Hi!

Madison: Hello. How are you guys today?

Mew: Lovely. You?

Madison: Awful!

Thunder: Might I ask why?

Madison: Okay. Yesterday I was supposed to meet Davis at the park.

Mew: Shouldn’t that be a happy thing?

Madison: Yes! But he didn’t show up. I waited and waited and he didn’t come. I was so sad. Then I saw T.K. walking down the path. I asked him if he had seen Davis. He told me the he had seen him walking with Kari towards the city and he hadn’t seen him since. I was really sad that he had been there, hadn’t come, and was talking to Kari, but I figured he had just forgotten (he does that sometimes) that we were supposed to meet and went home. I decided to call him to ask where he had been. So I called his house. His sister told me that he was out and wouldn’t be home at all because he was sleeping over at T.K.’s house. I felt kinda bad, so I called Li. I told him what happened and he said he’d hang out with me instead. So me and Li went shopping!

Mew: Is this story going somewhere?

Madison: Yes. Any way, when we stopped for dinner at Burger King I saw Davis!

Thunder: What happened!?

Madison: Well, I went over to him and asked where he had been. He told me he had forgotten that he was supposed to meet me and went to see a movie with Kari! That ruined my whole day! It was bad enough that he stood me up, but then it got worse when he said he stood me up for Kari!

Mew: And that explains your bad day?

Madison: Yes! He’s always spending time with Kari lately!

Thunder: You were fine 4 days ago.

Madison: I know. But after I made him sick at the aquarium he’s been spending lots of time with everyone but me.

Mew: Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll come around. Just wait and see.

Madison: I hope you’re right.

Mew: Of course I’m right! Now, has anything good happened to you lately?

Madison: *sigh* No.

Thunder: (to Mew) I guess if you’re whole life revolves around Davis, one incident like yesterday can throw you off for days.

Mew: Apparently. Say, what if we force Davis to spend time with you?

Madison: I don’t want to make him feel bad. If he’s going to spend time with me he has to do it willingly.

Mew: Okay. Are you sure nothing good has happened to you lately?

Madison: Well, I did talk to Davis backstage. That was nice. But it was bad that he was talking about stupid Kari. I hate Kari.

Thunder: Is that so?

Madison: Yes! She ruins everything! If I weren’t so nice I’d-

(She stops suddenly. An evil smile appears on her face.)

Madison: I have to go talk to Giovanni.

(She runs off the stage. Thunder and Mew sit there with confused looks on their faces)

Thunder: Did we miss something?

Mew: Apparently. And it must have been big. Oh well. Who’s next, Two?

Mew Two: Next up is Trunks.

(He cautiously walks onto the stage. He sits down next to Mew. He’s holding a paper bag.)

Mew: Hi Trunks. What’s in the bag?

Trunks: Hi. I brought something In case any mice show up.

(He pulls out a box of rat poison)

Trunks: I also brought one other defense. I have to go get it. Just a sec.

(He runs back stage. He returns a moment later with a white cat)

Trunks: This is Elixia. She’s my cat. She likes to eat mice. I don’t think I’ll need to leave due to mice attacks this time.

Thunder: You know, there are more humain ways of dealing with mice than feeding them to cats and giving them rat poison.

Trunks: I was going to bring a mouse trap, but my mother told me that would probably be a bad idea.

Mew: That’s okay. So, how are you Trunks?

Trunks: Good. I can sit next to a mouse with out fainting now.

Mew: Good for you!

Trunks: I only need this stuff because they still creep me out and I want them to stay away from me.

Thunder: I guess that’s okay. Kind of. Did you know that you made number 7 on the viewers choice poll?

Trunks: They probably wanted me back to see me get scared by some mice again.

Thunder: I’m the only mouse here, I swear. Well, Lightning is here too. But other than that.

Trunks: Good. I just needed to be ready. So, what’s new with you?

Mew: Not a lot. What about you?

Trunks: Well, not much really. I got Elixia a new collar yesterday. Isn’t this green one nice?

Mew: It is. Did you beat up any bad guys or anything?

Trunks: Well, to be completely honest with you, I don’t do much fighting outside of the show. My mother forbids it. She’s afraid I’ll get hurt.

Mew: What does she let you do?

Trunks: Not a lot. She wants me to get a job though. She says I sit around the house too much.

Mew: Why don’t you go to school?

Trunks: I do. But that’s not enough for her.

Mew: We’ll give you a job.

Trunks: You offer everyone a job.

Thunder: And....

Trunks: And... Never mind.

Mew: Okay then. Do you want it or not?

Trunks: What do I have to do?

Mew: You can be a gopher.

Trunks: You already have one.

Mew: And I over work him. If I hire you to help, I can create more work for you.

Trunks: Ummmm..... Okay.

Mew: Great! You start on Saturday.

Trunks: Okay.

Mew: Wonderful! Do you have anything else to tell us today?

(He sits there for a minute. The cat he’s holding gets up, turns around 3 times, then lies down on Trunks’ lap. For some reason, everyone is watching the cat)

Mew: How degrading.

Thunder: I thought only Dogs did that.

Trunks: Elixia isn’t a normal cat. She acts like a dog all the time.

Thunder: Does she play fetch?

Trunks: Yep. And I have to walk her.

Mew: Eeewww! How can she take that? I’d never be caught dead doing anything like that.

Trunks: She likes it.

Mew: Riiight. Any way, we were talking about you, not the cat.

Trunks: Right. Ummmm..... I have a teacher at school that hates me.

Mew: Really?

Trunks: Yes! He’s so mean.

Thunder: What does he do?

Trunks: He always picks on me because he thinks I act like I’m too special to do my homework. I do my homework every day! And I do it correctly too! He’s just a jerk.

Mew: He picks on you because you’re famous doesn’t he?

Trunks: Yes. I hear he’s really mean to Izzy too.

Mew: You go to the same school as Izzy?

Trunks: Yeah. It’s a private school that rich people send their stuck up kids to. There are only a few famous kids there, and this guy picks on all of them. I think he hates me the most though.

Thunder: Where is this school?

Trunks: It’s on an island off the coast of the US.

Mew: You don’t live any where near there.

Trunks: It’s a boarding school. I come home on weekends and when I have to be on TV or something.

Mew: I see. Who else goes to your school that we’d know?

Trunks: Well, there’s me, and Izzy, and Gohan, Ken, Davis, his sister, I think I saw Madison and Li, and Tai and Kari go there. There could be more, but I dunno.

Thunder: Neat. I didn’t know that Tai, Kari, Davis, Ken, Madison, Li, and Gohan went to boarding school.

Trunks: They started a little late. I know because I got to show new kids around and Tai, Kari, Ken, and Davis were in my group. I think Li and Madison were in a different group, but I’m not sure. You’ll have to ask her.

Mew: How can you guys come on our show if you go to a boarding school that’s almost 3,000 miles from here?

Trunks: You can go home when ever you want as long as you show up for class on time. In fact, I know a kid that goes home every day. A helicopter brings him and picks him up.

Mew: Man. He must be really rich.

Trunks: He is. And he’s also the biggest jerk ever.

(All of the sudden, Elixia jumps up)

Trunks: What? Hey! What’s wrong Elixia?

(The cat looks towards Mew Two)

Mew Two: What?

(Elixia runs at Mew Two. It scratches his leg)

Mew Two: Foolish feline! What do you think you’re doing?

(He picks up the cat by her tail. She looks at him for a second, then scratches his face. He drops her and she begins attacking his tail.)

Mew Two: That’s it! I’m going to kill it!

Mew: No Mew Two! I’m sure there’s an explanation for this.

(She flies over to Elixia and take out her translator.)

Mew: Mew meew mew mew?

Elixia: Meow meow.

Mew: Mew mew?

Elixia: Meow.

Mew Two: I do not!

(Mew puts her translator back in)

Mew Two: Tell that stupid thing that I don’t have gross bugs on me.

Mew: That’s not what she said! Your “Cat” is a little rusty. she said she saw a mouse run under you.

Trunks: A- a mou-mouse?

Mew: yeah. Let me help her find it. Move Two.

Mew Two: Fine.

(He teleports away. Right where he was standing a small creature was curled up in a ball)

Mew: This isn’t a mouse! It’s Daddy! Hi Daddy!

(Everyone looks at her. Mew Two appears again)

Mew Two: What’s that?

Mew: It’s daddy!

(He looks at her. He then puts his paw on her forehead)

Mew Two: Are you okay?

Mew: You nerd! Mews can transform! Daddy always turns into this weird mouse-like thing when he wants to spy on us. Change back now, daddy.

(She sets the creature back down on the floor. It begins waving it’s arms at her)

Mew: What? What’s wrong?

(She picks it up again. It squeaks at her for awhile.)

Mew: I’m sorry Daddy, but you aren’t making any sense.

(Everyone is still looking at her with the same confused look on their faces. )

Mew: What? You can’t change back?

(The creature jumps and waves it’s arms)

Mew: I see. You came to get help didn’t you? Okay. I’ll go get mommy. She should be able to help.

(The creature bites her)

Mew: Ow! Are you saying I shouldn’t get mom? Okay. I’ll have to do it then, but I’m not very good. Last time I tried to change someone back to them selves, I accidentally turned them into a CD. And to make it worse, it was a N’Sync CD.

(The creature shakes it’s head.)

Mew: Okay. Here it goes.

(She sets the creature down on the floor. She puts her paw on it’s head and mutters something, then she and the creature disappear into a cloud of smoke. After the smoke clears, 2 Mews are standing (errr... ummm... floating) there)

Mr. Meowie: Excellent job Mew.

Mew: Thanks Daddy.

(Everyone looks in shock at Mr. Meowie)

Mr. Meowie: I bet you’re all wondering why I was in a transformation. Well, I accidentally dropped your mother’s favorite earrings down a vent in the house. She wasn’t home yet, so I thought if I transformed that I could get them out before she got home, so I did and I got the earrings out and tried to change back, but it didn’t work. I began to panic because I knew that she hates it when I transform, so I teleported myself to the studio to get you kids to help me. I was almost out when that cat saw me and tried to eat me.

Mew: Oh Daddy! You’re so silly! You really should be more careful.

Mr. Meowie: I will. So, how are you kids today?

Mew: Great! Right Thunder?

Thunder: Yep. Right Trunks?

Trunks: Ummmm.... Yeah.

Mew Two: This is all very strange and new to me. I wish you wouldn’t do that.

Mr. Meowie: Okay. I have to find a new form any way. Your sisters are beginning to catch on to this one.

Mew Two: *sigh*

Mr. Meowie: Well, I’m sorry that I interrupted your show.

Mew: It’s okay Daddy. You can sit there and watch the rest of it.

Mr. Meowie: Okay.

(He goes over to a chair in the audience and sits down)

Mew: Okay. Any way, it’s been fun Trunks, but we have to move on now.

Trunks: Okay. Bye. See you later.

(He walks off the stage. Elixia follows.)

Mew Two: Next would be Tai and Matt.

(They walk on to the stage)

Mew: Hi Tai. Hi Matt.

Tai and Matt: Hi.

Mew: We’ll get to you in a second Tai. Now Matt, how’s our theme song coming?

Matt: Well, we thought about it and decided that maybe “Hit ‘em up Style” by Blu Cantrel would be a good theme song.

Thunder: What does that have to do with anything?

Matt: Nothing really. It’s just a good song.

Mew: “Just go back in hit ‘em up style!” I like that song.

Thunder: I don’t think so Matt.

Matt: We figured you wouldn’t like that, so we came up with another suggestion.

Thunder: And that is?

Matt: “Where the Party at?” by Jagged Edge?

Thunder: No. Have you even tried writing one of your own?

Matt: Well, me and the guys have been working real hard on this, but we’re stumped. We plan to keep working on it, but we don’t have much now.

Mew: I kinda think “Where the party at?” would be a good theme song. Our show is like a party.

Thunder: No. You just keep at it Matt. Now we’ll ask you how your life’s going these days.

Matt: Well, between school, the band, and your theme song, I have no life.

Mew: It’s not that important Matt. You should go have fun sometimes.

Matt: Okay. I’ll remember that.

Thunder: How’s T.K.?

Matt: He’s okay. He’s been helping out with your song. He came out with some pretty good ideas that are helping us to come up with something.

Mew: I want you to go and see a movie right now.

Matt: Why?

Mew: You have been consumed by the song. The song is not your life Matt! It’s not your life!

(He looks at her)

Mew: Here’s a twenty. Go see Rush Hour 2 and tell me how it is, okay? And you can keep the change.

Matt: O-Kay....

(He walks off the stage)

Tai: Can I go see Rush Hour 2?

Mew: Later. I want to see that so you can come with me.

Tai: Okay. How are you guys doing?

Thunder: Good. You?

Tai: I’m fine.

Mew: Say, I hear you go to a boarding school these days.

Tai: I do.

Mew: How’s that working out for you?

Tai: I don’t really like it. I’d rather be at school with Matt, Sora and Joe. Not that Izzy isn’t cool. It’s just so boring being trapped on that Island till I can get a plane to come and get me. It’s awful.

Mew: Can you tell us about this school?

Tai: Okay. It’s called Island Academy. It consists of 4 buildings and a park on a small island it the Pacific. It was built 25 years ago by some rich dude that I forget his name to educate his over achieving, rich, bratty children. Originally it was just for his 2 snotty kids, but then he decided to charge $120,000 a year to other rich people to send their snotty kids to. After a while, say, 2 or 3 years, rich kids started becoming stupider, so it went from a school for gifted and intelligent kids, to a school for anyone who could shell out $10,000 a month to send their kids there.

Mew: That’s an- Ummmmm.... Fun history.

Tai: Tell me about it. The school is just like any other private school, only it costs a hell of a lot more.

Thunder: Why do you go there?

Tai: My parents just wanted to say their kids went to the most expensive K through 12 school on the planet.

Mew: They sent you there because they could afford to!?

Tai: Yep. All of the sudden our old school wasn’t good enough so we had to ship off to a snotty private school for rich brats. Me and Kari don’t fit in at all. We get picked on all the time because we actually work to pay our tuition.

Thunder: All you have to do is act. It’s not that hard.

Tai: I know. But they pick on us like we don’t belong there, which we don’t, so I guess they’re right, kinda....

Mew: Don’t listen to them Tai. You’ll always have millions and millions of dollars from your share of the Digimon royalties and you’ll be able to buy friends that aren’t mean.

(He looks at her)

Mew: Wait! That’s not what I wanted to say! Well it is but- Oh, never mind.

Thunder: What else is new with you Tai?

Tai: Well, not much. My life’s been kinda slow lately.

Mew: Gosh. You’re all so serious and unfunny today. I think that school is draining your life energy.

Tai: That wouldn’t suprise me. You could go to your next guests. Brick and Blossom isn’t it? They don’t go to IA so maybe they’ll be funny.

Mew: Okay. Bye Tai.

Tai: Bye.

(He walks off the stage)

Mew Two: Next we have Brick and Blossom.

(They fly on to the stage)

Mew: Hi guys.

Blossom: Hi.

Brick: Word.

Thunder: How are things?

Blossom: Good.

Brick: Yep.

Mew: What’s new with you?

Blossom: Well, I decided to quit the Powerpuff Girls.

Thunder: Quit!? Why?

Blossom: Well, I guess I’m only quitting the group, but I still get to lead on the show. I quit the group because I hate my family. What do you do when you hate your family? You divorce them! I divorced the Professor so he’s not my dad anymore!

Mew: What made you decide to do that?

Blossom: Well, I was watching the “E! True Hollywood Story” on Gary Coleman and it said he divorced his parents, so I thought “I hate the professor, so I’ll just divorce him!”. And I went out that same day and got the information I needed and the divorce too. Now I’m free from them and their stupid, dumbness.

Thunder: But they’re your family!

Blossom: We had the most dysfunctional family ever and I couldn’t stand to be a part of it any longer.

Mew: Who do you live with now?

Blossom: Darien.

Thunder and Mew: Darien?

Blossom: Uh-huh.

Mew: How’d that happen?

Blossom: Well, Darien is a lawyer and he explained a lot of this stuff to me and I’m not old enough to legally get a divorce without legal council, so when he said I needed legal council and a guardian I asked him to do both.

Mew: Strange. So you live with Darien now?

Blossom: Yeah.

Thunder: Hmmmmm...... How are you doing, Brick?

Brick: I’m okay.

Mew: You aren’t going to go and divorce Mojo are you?

Brick: Psht. We were taken from Mojo by child services ages ago.

Mew: Really?

Brick: Uh-huh. Well, actually, we’ve been taken lots of times. See, they’d take us, then Mojo would pretend to change, then they’d give us back, then we’d be taken again, then given back again, and so on.

Mew: Sad... They should take you away for good.

Brick: They just did about a week ago.

Thunder: Are you in an orphanage then?

Brick: Nuh-uh.

Mew: Where are you then?

Brick: Well, Boomer was adopted by a rich couple from New Jersey that moved to Townsville and wanted a kid. Butch was adopted by the teacher at the school. What’s her name?

Blossom: Ms. Keane.

Brick: Yeah!

Mew: What about you?

Brick: I got the best deal of all.

Thunder: What’s that?

Brick: Well, I don’t know how she found out we were taken from Mojo, but she came to adopt all of us, but when she got there, Boomer and Butch were already gone. So she just took me.

Mew and Thunder: WHO!?

Brick: Guess.

Mew: I DON’T WANT TO GUESS! TELL US NOW!

Thunder: Fine. I’ll guess. Giovanni’s mom.

Brick: Nope.

Mew: TELL NOW!

Thunder: Ummmm...... It’s someone we know, right?

Brick: Uh-huh.

Thunder: Ummmm.... Has she ever been on the show?

Brick: Lots of times.

Thunder: Ummmm..... The only girl I can think of that been on our show lots of times and is old enough to legally adopt someone is Sailor Neptune. But why would she adopt you?

Brick: Because she has good taste in kids, that’s why.

Mew: She adopted you?

Brick: Yep.

Mew: She probably spoils you rotten too.

Brick: I wouldn’t say that.

Thunder: Does she get you what ever you want?

Brick: Uh-huh.

Mew: Then you’re spoiled.

Brick: But I’m not rotten.

Blossom: Not yet any way.

Brick: Shut up! I’m not going to get rotten either!

Blossom: Sure.

Mew: That’s strange. I had no idea you were both separated from your families and living with the most unlikely people.

Brick: Well life is just crazy like that.

Thunder: I guess. So how are your new homes working out for you?

Blossom: It’s great! I don’t have to listen to people constantly yelling at each other, and I can study what ever I want, when ever I want to, and I get to control the TV!

Brick: I’d say my home is great too. She buys me what ever I want, when ever I want it, She’ll take me any where I want to go, I can have friends over without worrying about Mojo scaring them away, AND I get to go to school.

Mew: What’s so great about school?

Brick: I get to meet people that aren’t Mojo, Boomer, or Butch there, and the teacher compliments me and tells me that I’m doing things right! That’s the complete opposite of what Mojo always told me. And now when Blossom says stuff, it makes sense because I learned about it at school! Getting taken from Mojo was the best thing that ever happened to me. The only downside is I have to see Blossom at school every day. I even have to sit next to her.

Blossom: You act like it’s such a treat to sit with you all day.

Brick: It is!

Blossom: It is not!

(They start yelling at each other)

Mew: I guess some things never change.

Thunder: Thank goodness for that.

Mew: QUIET!

(Blossom and Brick look over at her)

Mew: It was fun, but we have to move on to the next guest now.

Blossom: Okay.

Brick: Right.

Blossom and Brick: BYE!

(They fly off the stage)

Mew: Who do we have now, Two?

Mew Two: Next we have Ash, Richie, and Misty. She finally came, but refused to come out alone.

Thunder: She acts like that’ll stop us from making her cry.

Mew: Yeah. Ash and Richie will probably help.

(They start laughing. Ash, Richie, and Misty walk on to the stage.)

Misty: What’s so funny?

Mew: We ask the questions around here!

Richie: Hi Mew. How are you?

Mew: I’m fine.

Misty: How come he got to ask you a question!?

Thunder: Didn’t Mew tell you that we ask the questions around here!? Gosh!

Mew: Any way, how’s it going guys?

Richie: Great!

Thunder: Why is that?

Richie: Because I get my own Pokémon spin off show!

Mew: Really?

Richie: Yes! It’s called “Richie and Friends”.

Thunder: Can we be your friends?

Richie: Of course!

Mew: What’s the show about?

Richie: Well, It’s a lot like Pokémon, only it’s about me instead of Ash. And It starts after I lose at the Pokémon league. It follows me on my journey to become better so I don’t lose again.

Mew: Sounds good, but how do you fit us into that?

Richie: Well, I’m going to end up in Legendary Land at the end of the first season, so I can run into you and Mew Two or something. And we can pretend that Thunder is related to Sparky (Richie’s Pikachu) or something.

Thunder: I like that. I’m not actually related to Sparky, but my mom is friends with his mom. They get together and bake things all the time.

Richie: That’s nice.

Mew: As for you Ash, how’s your life?

Ash: Pretty good. I get a few guest spots on Richie’s show and I have a fun suprise for you guys!

Thunder and Mew: Really!? For us!?

Ash: Yep. It’s so cool! You’re going to love it!

Mew: What is it!? What is it!?

Ash: Well, you know Digimon season 3?

Mew: Uh-huh.

Ash: Well, that Rika girl is my cousin’s best friend. So I talked to a few people and got Rika and the other 2 tamers to do your show!

Thunder: You’re kidding!

Ash: I’m not! I gave Mew Two the number. All they need is for you to set a date.

Mew: That’s so cool! Thanks Ash! It would have taken Van at least a month to set that up himself!

Ash: I know. I just thought that that’d be a nice thing to do.

Thunder: It is and we’re very grateful.

Richie: How did you find out your cousin was friends with her?

Ash: I was visiting my cousin and she introduced me to her.

Mew: You’ve met her!? Is she as evil in real life as she is on the show?

Ash: She isn’t that bad.

Thunder: Did she ever use the word “vexed” in your prescience?

Ash: No. I think that was just in the script because she didn’t use many big words at all.

Mew: I see. And finally, we get to.. Misty. I thought you were dead.

Misty: Well I’m not.

Thunder: No s***. If you were dead you wouldn’t be here.

Misty: But-

Mew: But nothing! Did YOU do anything nice for us like Ash and Richie did?

Misty: Richie didn’t do anything!

Thunder: Ash got us 3 guests and Richie got us guest spots on his show. What did YOU do?

Misty: Like I’d do anything for you!

Mew: Is THAT how you’re going to be? Fine then. Have it your way. We WERE going to give you a present, but since you were mean, you can forget that.

Misty: What kind of present?

Thunder: You aren’t getting it so it doesn’t matter. Go away.

Misty: Fine!

(She walks off the stage.)

Mew: You guys can go too. We have to move on now.

Ash: Okay.

Richie: Bye!

(They walk off the stage)

Thunder: You know, I was listening to the radio yesterday, and I heard the funniest song.

Mew: Which one is that?

Thunder: “Because I got High”.

Mew: I heard that was Professor Oaks’ favorite song.

Mew Two: I heard he sang it.

(They all laugh. If you didn’t read the episode where they discuss Professor Oaks’ drug addiction, you won’t get why that’s funny)

Mew: Any way, who’s next?

Mew Two: Sailor Neptune.

(She walks on to the stage)

Michelle: You guys are so bad. That was like the time Thunder started singing “Big Pimpin’” when Tenchi was on the show.

(They all laugh again)

Thunder: That was funny!

Mew: Word! Any way, what’s new with you Michelle?

Michelle: Well, the funniest thing happened yesterday! I took Brick to the mall to go shopping and I saw this store with some really cute dresses that I thought Blossom would just love. I knew her birthday was coming up, so I decided I would get her one for her birthday. Now, I wasn’t sure what size she was, and I didn’t want to get her one that was too small, so I wondered what I should do. The Brick complains about how dresses were for girls and that he didn’t want to be there when I noticed how close in size to Blossom he was. He caught on to my idea and tried to run away, but I caught up with him and made him try on dresses for at least an hour, when Blossom and Darien walk into the store. The look and Brick’s face when Blossom started laughing at him was so adorable! His face was as red as his hair.

(Thunder and Mew start laughing)

Michelle: It would be even funnier to you if you would have been there. He walked around with a bag on his head for the rest of the day.

Mew: poor Brick. That must have sucked for him.

Michelle: Yeah. I went out and got him a puppy because I felt guilty.

Thunder: Really?

Michelle: Yeah. He wanted to name it Blossom killer, but I wouldn’t let him, so he steeled on Patches.

Mew: He didn’t tell us that.

Michelle: Yeah. That’s because he’d rather forget about that day. I don’t think he’s completely recovered.

Thunder: He’ll get over it eventually. So what else is new with you?

Michelle: Well, not much. I am taking Brick and Blossom to the beach tomorrow.

Mew: Why is that?

Michelle: Well, I want to go to Goldenrod City with Tenchi next month, but Darien said he wouldn’t watch brick unless I watch Blossom. So If I watch her a few times, he’ll watch Brick when I need him too.

Mew: You hang out with Tenchi an awful lot.

Michelle: I do not.

Thunder: Hey!? You do!

Mew: You have a boyfriend!

Michelle: He is not.

Mew: Yes he is! That’s why you’re always doing stuff with him. “I went to Tenchi’s birthday party” or “I was at “The Club” with Tenchi” And “I’m going to Goldenrod City with Tenchi”. Gosh. Why don’t you just get married already.

Michelle: Because that’s not how it works. You hang out with Thunder all the time and you’re not married to him.

Thunder: That’s because Mew is like a gross sister.

Mew: I AM NOT GROSS!

Thunder: Then Michelle isn’t going to marry Tenchi.

Mew: Of course YOU wouldn’t want that.

(Thunder glares at Mew)

Michelle: ANY WAY...

Thunder: Right. So, why do you want to go to Goldenrod City with Tenchi?

Michelle: Well, he wanted to visit one of his friends that lived there. He remembered me mentioning how I wanted to go to the big store there, so he asked me if I wanted to come with him.

Mew: I’m sure they have one of those chapels with an Elvis impersonator there for you to get married in.

(Thunder glares at her. Michelle just laughs)

Michelle: I’d get married in one of those when you and Misty become best friends.

Mew: I’m sure they have a church there too.

(Thunder continues to glare at her. Michelle shakes her head)

Michelle: You’re funny Mew.

Mew: Thunder doesn’t think so.

(He kicks her)

Mew: Ow!

Thunder: I think we need to go to the next guest now.

Michelle: Okay. Bye!

(She walks off the stage)

Mew: You are so not-funny.

Thunder: No you are!

Mew Two: ANY WAY, I have 3 pieces of information for you:

1. There is an Elvis wedding chapel in Goldenrod City, I have an acquaintance that works in it.

(Thunder and Mew Laugh)

Mew Two: I reacted the same way when he told me.

2. I called the Season 3 Digimon Tamers and they said tomorrow is good.

Thunder and Mew: SWEET!

Mew Two: Word. (sarcasm) Any way,

3. Your next guests are Davis and Ken.

(They walk on to the stage. Davis is dancing around. Thunder and Mew give him a confused look)

Ken: I can explain. He got an MP3 player yesterday and he’s been taking it everywhere. It’s really small, so he can get away with that.

Mew: Oh. Davis.

(He keeps dancing.)

Mew: DAVIS!

Davis: Huh!? What!?

(He takes out the head phones.)

Davis: Hi!

Mew: That’s better. So, how are you guys.

Ken: Good.

Davis: Great!

Thunder: Why are you so great?

Davis: Well, I guess I’m kinda great and kinda not great.

Mew: Why?

Davis: Well, I’m great because Kari is finally acknowledging my existence!

Thunder: That’s nice. But why are you not great?

(Davis just keeps staring into space)

Ken: Look Davis! It’s Kari!

Davis: What!? Where!?

Ken: Thunder asked you a question, Davis.

Davis: Oh. Can you repeat it? I was kinda out of it for a second.

Thunder: Yeah..... Why are you not great?

Davis: Oh. Well, because Kari wants to spend all this time with me all of the sudden, I keep breaking plans with Madison or completely forgetting I ever made them. It doesn’t bother me so much, I just don’t like that Madison is all upset over it. I feel bad that I made her feel bad.

Thunder: Awww... That’s okay Davis. You can still make it right.

Davis: How?

Mew: Well, you can hang out with Kari one day, then Madison another day.

Davis: I could...

Mew: OR, you could find out why Kari is so interested in you all of the sudden.

Ken: That’s what I’ve been telling him!

Davis: She just realized how nice I am.

Mew: Bull S***. She’s up to something.

Davis: Y-you think so?

Mew: I know so. didn’t she used to hang out with T.K. all of the time?

Davis: Yeah. And I used to hate him for it.

Mew: Then why would she change all of the sudden?

Davis: Maybe- Or- But- I don’t know. I guess you’re right....

Thunder: We hate to be right Davis, it’s just that most of the time, if something seems to good to be true...

Mew:.... It is.

Davis: What do I do?

Mew: Ask her what the hell she wants with you.

Ken: “What do you want with me?” would also work.

Mew: But the “hell” adds emotion. Emotion is good Ken.

Davis: I guess... I suppose I should say sorry to Madison too.

Thunder: That’d be good.

Mew: You should get her some candy too!

Davis: O-Kay....

Mew: As for you Ken, what’s up? Are YOU having any girl troubles?

Ken: No.

Thunder: Are you sure?

Ken: Yes. As far as I’m concerned, girls are nothing BUT trouble. And that’s trouble that can wait.

Mew: That’s a good plan, I guess. Less fun for me, but it’s your life.

Thunder: Has anything interesting happened to you lately?

Ken: Well, I was on Cell’s show yesterday.

Mew: I saw that! Did you have fun?

Ken: Yeah. And the cake I made turned out great. My parents loved it. And Cell said he’ll have me back next time he does a villains and ex-villains episode.

Mew: Did anything fun happen?

Ken: The funniest thing happened, actually! We were taking a call, because it’s a live call in show, and this lady calls and starts speaking in what sounded like Italian or something like it, and Cell finally says, I don’t know what you’re talking about, and then it turns out to be his mom.

Thunder: Why was his mom speaking in Italian?

Ken: I don’t know, but that’s why it was funny.

Mew: She wasn’t high, was she?

Ken: Actually, we think she had been drinking, but we aren’t sure.

(Thunder and Mew laugh)

Mew: Drugs and alcohol are funny..... Bad too! Very bad! Don’t do drugs kids!

Davis: Did you ever hear that song about what happened when the guy got high?

Thunder: “Because I got High”?

Davis: Yeah. You know, everything he said was bad, so that could be an anti-drug song!

Mew: I dunno about that Davis...

Davis: It makes me not want to do drugs...

Thunder: Good. But seeing as this is family programming, we should probably stop talking about drugs.

Mew, Davis, and Ken: Okay.

Thunder: Is there anything else to discuss?

Mew: I don’t think so.

Thunder: okay. We’ll see you guys later.

Davis and Ken: Okay. Bye.

(Davis puts his headphones back in and dances off the stage. Ken follows, shaking his head.)

Mew: Who’s next, Two?

Mew Two: Goku and Vegeta.

(They walk onto the stage)

Thunder: Hi guys.

Goku: Hi!

Vegeta: Hello.

Mew: You know, Davis and Ken are a lot like Goku and Vegeta.

Vegeta: How do you figure?

Mew: Well, you have to act like Goku’s brain for him sometimes, and Ken does that for Davis.

Thunder: You’re right!

Goku: Neat!

Vegeta: Indeed.

Mew: First we’ll talk to Goku. What’s up Goku?

Goku: Well, yesterday, me, Lt. Surge (or Surge as I like to call him), and Krillin went to see Rush Hour 2.

Thunder: Why didn’t you go Vegeta?

Vegeta: I was forced to take Gohan and Trunks to see it.

Goku: You volunteered.

Vegeta: Chi Chi and Bulma threatened me.

Goku: Oh yeah! Well any way, we went to see that, and it was really funny.

Mew: That’s it?

Goku: Surge did something really funny, I just can’t remember what it was.

Vegeta: He tried to do some Jackie Chan style fighting moves...

Goku: Oh yeah! Thanks Vegeta! Yeah. We were walking from my house to Vegeta’s to tell him how great it was, when Krillin started talking about how cool all that stuff Jackie Chan did was. Surge bet him that he could do most of that stuff, and tried to pull some Jackie Chan moves on Krillin, but he missed and fell flat on his face. It was really funny.

Mew: I bet.

Thunder: Did any other fun stuff happen to you?

Goku: Well..... I was watching football with Vegeta today...

Vegeta: Not that story!

Mew: Oh! Tell! Tell!

Thunder: If Vegeta doesn’t want us to know it must be good!

Goku: Okay. Well, we were watching football, and Vegeta says that he bets he could play football better than any of them. So I say “But you’ve never played” and he says that he had too played and he pulls out this really funny picture of him playing football. It had to have been from like 1975 or something because he had an afro.

Vegeta: It wasn’t an afro.

Goku: It was too! It was really big too!

(Thunder, Mew, and Goku start laughing)

Goku: I wish I would have brought the picture! It was funny!

Mew: I bet! Vegeta with an afro must be the funniest thing ever!

Vegeta: Ha ha ha. Can we talk about something else now?

Mew: Okay. What’s new with you Vegeta?

Vegeta: Well, I went to buy a new camcorder with Lawrence and Goku yesterday and we saw Giovanni at the store. He was with this person we hadn’t ever seen before, so we went to ask him who it was. He was sitting in a chair next to some bags looking extremely bored when we went up to him. We said hi and stuff, then Lawrence says “Who’s your friend Giovanni?” and Giovanni replies with “The very fact that you’d refer to him as a friend insults me”. So I ask “Well, who is that person then.” And he replies “It’s my stupid younger brother. And his annoying kids are around here somewhere too.”

Mew: You got to meet his brother!?

Vegeta: Right after he said that. His brother walks over and says “I think you’re great too Giovanni”

Thunder: What’s his brother’s name?

Vegeta: I think it was Bob. I’m not sure though.

Mew: Is Bob nice?

Vegeta: A lot nicer than Giovanni if that’s what you mean.

Thunder: How long did you talk to Bob and Giovanni?

Vegeta: 10 or 15 minutes.

Goku: Yeah. Then Giovanni said he’d seen enough of us for the day.

Vegeta: It didn’t matter though, because I had to go any way.

Mew: Did you get your camcorder?

Vegeta: Yeah.

Thunder: Is it a nice one?

Vegeta: Of course.

Mew: Wow. We’re almost finished with page 30 and we haven’t had on Giovanni on yet. We had better get a move on. We’ll see you guys later.

Goku: BYE!!!

Vegeta: Yes. Bye.

(They walk off the stage.)

Mew: Next!

Mew Two: Next up is Giovanni.

(Giovanni walks on to the stage)

Thunder and Mew: HI!

Mew: Guess who was number 1?

Giovanni: Me... For some reason.

Mew: Yeah! So, let’s talk about Bob.

Giovanni: Why?

Mew: You’ve never told us about your siblings.

Giovanni: I have no siblings.

Thunder: Stop lying. Your mom said you had 2.

Giovanni: I didn’t mean that literally.

Mew: Then why did you say it?

Giovanni: Because I don’t like them and I don’t like to acknowledge their existence.

Mew: Why were you hanging out with your brother yesterday, then?

Giovanni: Because mother made me. She called me and said “Giovanni, your brother and his family are visiting and I think you should spend some time with them”. I TRIED to get out of it, but I failed.

Mew: Why don’t you like your brother and his family?

Giovanni: Because I’ve hated my brother since the day he was born, his wife is really annoying, and his kids irritate me. But then again, all kids do.

Thunder: Who’s your other sibling?

Giovanni: I have a younger sister, sadly.

Mew: So you’re the oldest?

Giovanni: Yes. I was such a happy child before they were born. Then my life just went down hill from there.

Mew: You blame the way you are today on your little brother and sister?

Giovanni: Yes. They made me full of hate and anger.

Thunder: I find that hard to believe.

Giovanni: I was! When I was little, I used to play with other children, eat candy, and do all sorts of moronic childish things. Then Bob came along and I started to hate things. The when Sarah was born, I got so bad my parents took me to a therapist.

Mew: It didn’t help.

Giovanni: That’s because I’m not crazy. I wasn’t then either. I just hate my brother and sister.

Thunder: Why did the birth of your siblings make you hate people?

Giovanni: You know, I’m not really sure. It just did.

Mew: How old were you when your brother was born?

Giovanni: 5.

Mew: You were normal for 5 years?

Giovanni: If that’s how you want to look at it. The way I see it, I was weird until I was 5, then I realized how the world worked.

Mew: You know, we should interview your brother and sister!

Giovanni: No you shouldn’t.

Mew: Yes we should! That’d be fun!

Thunder: Yeah. Then they could tell us what you were like when you were a kid.

Giovanni: You want to know what I was like when I was a kid? I can tell you that myself.

Mew: Go ahead then.

Giovanni: Okay. After my stupid brother was born, I decided that he was evil and avoided him at all costs, which was hard because my mother thought there was something wrong with me when I sat all by myself in corners and read books. At school, I never talked or played with the other kids, so the school thought I was weird and suggested that I see a psychiatrist. And that’s how it went till I was 9 and my annoying sister was born, then the school made me see the counselor every other day. They thought I was depressed.

Thunder: I’d think that too if you didn’t play with the other kids and sat by yourself reading.

Giovanni: I think they were just dumb. Any way, then they told my parents, who started taking me to a therapist. The therapist annoyed me. He sat there and made me draw pictures of “how I felt” and made me look at the damn ink blots. I hated the ink blots. They made me really angry. I always told him I saw things like dead people and assorted weapons. He thought I insane.

Mew: What did you draw when he asked you to draw pictures?

Giovanni: I drew things like squirrels that had been hit by cars and cats stuck in trees.

Mew: You had issues.

Giovanni: I know. And it got even worse when I turned 16.

Thunder: Why?

Giovanni: Well, I was still being forced to see the stupid therapist. I hated him so much, so I started saying weird things.

Mew: Like what?

Giovanni: Sometimes I told him I had psychic powers, and other days I said I was a super hero. That was one of my favorites.

Mew: I can imagine.

Giovanni: You know, now that I think about that, that was really fun. That man thought I was so messed up.

Mew: You are.

Giovanni: I’m serious. He wanted to put me in a mental hospital.

Mew: I want to put you in a mental hospital.

Giovanni: It was also really fun to watch him try to figure out why I was so weird. He gave a psychological analysis to each of my siblings at least twice. They never showed any signs of anything, so he could never understand what my problem was.

Thunder: Why didn’t he blame your parents?

Giovanni: He did until he saw that my brother and sister were normal. He never actually figured out what my problem was.

Mew: How long did you go to him?

Giovanni: 3 times a week for 9 years.

Mew: Are you serious!?

Giovanni: Yes. And he never got any where. Then when I was 18, my parents got a better therapist who caught on immediately that I was fine. I was just a smart kid that was full of hate. He never found out why I was so full of hate, he just realized that I was.

Mew: He learned in 1 session what the other guy couldn’t in 9 years?

Giovanni: Yes. I thought that was funny.

Thunder: How did he figure you were a smart kid that just hated everything?

Giovanni: I had a very high IQ. That’s why the other guy couldn’t get any thing out of me because I knew how to outsmart him.

Mew: How do you outsmart a psychiatrist?

Giovanni: You convince him that you really do see dead people.

(Thunder and Mew laugh)

Giovanni: You think I’m kidding, but I’m serious. Once, I convinced him that I could communicate with the dead. That was fun. I miss those days.

Mew: I only have one more thing to say on this subject:

You were messed up.

Giovanni: Tell me about it.

Mew: Now, on to a new subject. What did Madison want to talk to you about?

Giovanni: If you think I was messed up, you should talk to her. That girl IS messed up.

Thunder: Hey! Maybe you both have issues because you came from disgustingly wealthy families.

Giovanni: Money had nothing to do with it. I was weird because I was angry. Madison is just plain crazy. She asked me if I knew of any good hit men.

Mew: Did she say why?

Giovanni: Yes. She said she knew this girl she wanted to get rid of.

Mew and Thunder: KARI!

Giovanni: Yeah. I told her I DID know one, but I wasn’t going to tell her because she’s too young to be hiring hit people.

Mew: At least you did the right thing.

Giovanni: I’m not so evil that I’d help a kid kill another kid. That’d be awful. I listened to my mother growing up. And that’s the kind of thing she wouldn’t want me to do.

Mew: Your mom is so strange.

Giovanni: What do you mean?

Mew: She’s so nice, but she used to lead Team Rocket. How does that work?

Giovanni: She never was evil, that why she gave it to me. Is still remember what she said to me. She said” Giovanni, I don’t know why, but you are really angry and you’d be perfect for Team Rocket. I want you to take over for me”.

Thunder: And your proud of yourself?

Giovanni: Yeah. If I wouldn’t have done the job, she would have given it to this guy that I hate. Actually, I think he’s dead now. Wait. He is dead now.

(He laughs evilly. Thunder and Mew just look at him)

Mew: O-Kay..... Any way, we’re almost out of time. We need to announce the suprise now.

Thunder: I bet you guys thought we forgot.

Mew: Well, we didn’t!

Thunder: So here it is! Giovanni...

Giovanni: What? Oh. You want me to say it?

Mew: Yes dear.

Giovanni: Well, what am I supposed to say?

Mew: Just a sec.

(She teleports away. She returns a minute later with a sheet of paper. She hands it to Giovanni.)

Giovanni: Okay. Tomorrow on The Pikachu and Mew Show, they’ll be having yet another special.

Mew: That’s not what it says!

Giovanni: Ok. Fine. I added the “yet”. Any way, it will be the- I never agreed to this!

Mew: You did too!

Thunder: Yeah. We called you and said “Giovanni, can we borrow your beach house to do our next special?” and you said “Stop calling me!”. We took that as a yes.

(He glares at them)

Giovanni: Fine. The special will be “The Pikachu and Mew Show Beach Party Special”. I don’t like the beach.

Mew: Then why do you have a beach house?

Giovanni: Because I can afford it.

Mew: Keep reading.

Giovanni: Fine. Any way, Thunder and Mew will interview some of their favorite guests live from out side Giovanni’s backwards beach house. It’s not backwards.

Mew: It is too! Now, keep reading.

Giovanni: Fine. Some of those guests include, Giovanni!? Why do you keep inviting me back!?

Thunder: Fun. Keep reading.

Giovanni: Okay. Others are, Davis, Gene, The new Digimon Tamers- I’m already annoyed by this list.

Mew: KEEP READING!

Giovanni: Fine. Li, Goku, Vegeta, and some other “suprise” guests. I don’t like the sound of that....

Mew: READ NOW!

Giovanni: Also, Blackwargraymon and Link- what a combination.

Mew: Shut up.

Giovanni: Any way, they’ll be walking around the beach looking for people who will do stupid things for prizes. And some of the Digidestened that aren’t guests (Tai, Sora, Izzy, Kari {If she’s alive}, and T.K.) will be around the beach doing the same thing as Blackwargraymon and Link. Why did you mention them separately?

Thunder: Because they aren’t making people do stupid stuff. They’re going to find people that have questions for our guests.

Giovanni: Fine. They’ll also be announcing a contest. There. That’s all it says.

Mew: Great job Vanni!

Giovanni: What did I tell you about calling me that!?

Mew: Nothing..

Thunder: ANY WAY, that’s it for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show. I hope you’ll watch tomorrow to see all the great stuff Giovanni told you about. Good night everyone!

Mew: Yeah. BYE! Say bye Giovanni!

Giovanni: Bye.

That’s it for today’s episode of TPAMS. Tune in tomorrow for lots of great stuff.