Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 27 of the Pikachu and Mew Show!

Mew: As you can tell from our beach chairs, umbrella, sun glasses, and drinks with umbrellas in them, today is our Beach Party Special!

Thunder: Other things that would have given us away are the fact that we’re on a beach, the music playing in the back ground, and the sounds of the ocean, but that’s not important. The important thing is that today’s show is going to be wicked cool.

Mew: Wicked cool?

Thunder: SHHH!

Mew: *sigh* Any way, today’s guests include Davis, Gene, The new Digimon Tamers (Takato, Henry, and Rika), Li, Vegeta, Goku, Giovanni, and some other “suprise” guests. If you want to know who they are, you’ll have to keep watching!

Thunder: Also, Blackwargraymon and Link will be walking around the beach looking for people who will do stupid things for prizes and some of the Digidestened that aren’t guests (Tai, Sora, Izzy, Kari, and T.K.) will be going around finding people that have questions for our guests, AND announcing another contest.

Mew: Well, it looks like we go lots of stuff to do so lets get a move on.

(You see Mew Two standing in front of a tent with a Hawaiian shirt that has flowers on it and sunglasses on. He’s drinking what looks like iced tea.)

Mew: Who’s first, Two?

Mew Two: First up is...

(He picks up a clip board and looks at it for a minute. Then he drinks some of his tea.)

Mew Two: First, you’re supposed to check in on Blackwargraymon and Link.

Mew: okay. Lets do that then.

(The screen cuts to Blackwargraymon and Link standing with a group of kids)

Thunder: You got people already?

Link: Kinda.

Blackwargraymon: Actually, these humans just wanted to say something to you guys. Right children?

Kids: Yeah!

Link: Go ahead then.

Kids: We love you Thunder and Mew!

Mew: Awwww.... That’s so sweet. We love you too!

Blackwargraymon: We’ll get back to you when we find some stupid humans to do stupid tricks.

Mew: Okay.

Mew Two: Now we check on the Digidestened.

(The screen cuts to Sora and Kari)

Mew: Hi!

Sora: Hi Mew!

Thunder: Where are the guys?

Kari: Trying to surf. They should be done in a minute. We just wanted to make sure all the stuff was working right.

Mew: Okay. We’ll talk to you in a bit then.

(The screen cuts back to Thunder and Mew.)

Mew: Okay. NOW, we get to the first guest.

Mew Two: And that guest is Davis.

(He walks over to Thunder and Mew. He’s wearing a funny hat, a shirt with a picture of Veemon on it, and some blue shorts.)

Mew: Hi Davis! Lovely outfit you have there.

Davis: Hey. Thanks. What’s up?

Thunder: Not much. Hey! I like this song!

(He starts dancing)

Thunder: I like beach parties!

Mew: You know Thunder, you can dance from AM to PM any other day, but now is not a good time.

Thunder: Okay.

(He sits down, but he keeps bobbing his head)

Mew: Any way, what’s up Davis?

Davis: This is a good song... But any way, there’s not a lot going on here. Oh Tu Pac!

(He starts dancing. Thunder quickly joins him.)

Mew: Do I have to turn that off?

Thunder: No.

Mew: THEN SIT DOWN!

(They quickly sit down.)

Mew: That’s better. So, how are you liking our little beach gathering?

Davis: It’s great! You should do your show from the beach more often!

Thunder: What do you think of Giovanni’s house?

Davis: I don’t want to say this to him but... What the hell was he thinking when he built this place?

Mew: We were thinking the same thing.

Davis: Yeah well, I guess it’s ‘cause he’s weird. Any way, you know what’d make this party even better?

Mew: What’s that?

Davis: If you would have had it on a yacht.

Thunder: That would have been cool. But Giovanni said the yacht was off limits.

Mew: We’ll just have a different special there.

Davis: That’ll be a cool one. Oh my gosh! You know what happened to me on my way here!?

Mew: What?

Davis: Well, I was listening to my little MP3 player and dancing around, when all of the sudden, I hear someone burst out laughing. I look around to find out who it was, and it turned out to be some old lady. She’s in the car next to me and she’s just laughing and laughing. Then, out of nowhere, SHE starts dancing around her car! It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. And to make it even funnier, she was dancing to “Because I got high”!

(He starts laughing hysterically. Thunder and Mew just laugh)

Thunder: Old ladies dancing to “Because I got High”. What is this world coming to?

Davis: I don’t know, but I think it’s hilarious.

Mew: Any other fun things happen to you lately?

Davis: Ummmm.... I think I heard my mom say “west side” the other day.

Mew: West side as in “West side!”?

Davis: Yeah. It was weird. It was kinda like when my math teacher said that math was “tight”. That was funny.

(Thunder, Mew, and Davis laugh)

Mew: You know things are going straight to hell when Davis’ mom says “west side!” and a math teacher says that math is “tight”.

Davis: Oh well. It’s making me laugh. And isn’t that what really matters?

Mew: Of course.

Thunder: “Hey! Where the party at!?”

Davis: Yeah!

(They both start dancing.)

Mew: This is really sad. Mew Two! Get me a co-host!

Davis: I’ll do it!

(He sits down in Thunder’s chair. Thunder just keeps dancing)

Mew Two: Do you want your next guest now?

Mew: Yes please.

Mew Two: Okay. Next up is Vegeta.

(He walks over to the hosting se up deal. He’s wearing funny, not normal for his character clothes too. He has a fun Hawaiian shirt on. It’s kinda like Mew Two’s only it has palm trees on it.)

Mew: Hi Vegeta! I love the beach going outfit you have there.

Vegeta: I didn’t even know I owned this shirt. Seriously. I found it in the back of my closet last night after Mew Two called and told me I had to wear beach going clothes.

Davis: It looks nice.

Vegeta: Oh yeah. I’m looking good now. (sarcasm)

Mew: You’re okay Vegeta, honest.

Vegeta: Okay. Say, where’s Thunder?

Mew: Dancing over there.

(They all look over at Thunder. He keeps dancing away.)

Thunder: “Can you fill me in?”

Mew: Oh- my gosh. Any way, what’s up Vegeta? Do anything fun yesterday?

Vegeta: Well, I looked around for this shirt, then I watched a movie with Goku.

Davis: Which one?

Vegeta: Double Take. And let me just say that it made no sense at all.

Mew: But it was funny as hell.

Vegeta: It was funny. I like the part where they’re in the motel and the various food item trucks come.

Mew: “Mother’s Cookies! Mother’s damn cookies!”

(They all laugh.)

Davis: I like he part where the 7up guy thinks the other guy is crazy when the other guy says he’s with the FBI.

Mew: That was funny too. But my favorite part is on the train when the 7up guy asks for malt liquor.

(They laugh)

Davis: That was good! “How you gonna run a successful business with out no malt liquor! You ain’t representing! You ain’t keeping it real!”

(They all laugh again.)

Vegeta: I liked that movie.

Mew and Davis: Me too.

Mew: Any thing else, Vegeta?

Vegeta: Well, before the show started, Goku was trying to play Volleyball with some girls, and he was so bad at it. It was funny. He was diving all over the place and the ball kept hitting him in the head.

Mew: Goku playing Volleyball? Just the thought is funny. He’s so big and not volleyball player looking.

Davis: Word.

Vegeta: Did you do anything fun lately?

Mew: Not really. I guess the planning session for this special was kinda fun. The network vice president, who’s this funny old guy that’s always wearing a suit, showed up in shorts and a funny shirt and we couldn’t stop laughing!

Davis: I like this special because you’ve got a bunch of people dressing and acting differently than normal. Look at Vegeta for instance.

Mew: I agree. That’s why we wanted to do this. We also wanted to force Giovanni to get some sun.

Vegeta: I guess this is a good way to do that.

Mew: Of course it is.

Davis: Hey! Have you ever tried surfing Vegeta?

Vegeta: No.

Davis: You should. I suck really bad at it, but I try any way.

Vegeta: You’re also 12 and have disgusting amounts of energy.

Mew: Be nice. Say, is Blackwargraymon ready yet, Two?

Mew Two: When ever you’re ready.

Mew: Oh! Lets cut to him now!

(The screen cuts to Blackwargraymon and Link)

Link: Hi Mew.

Mew: Hi. Are you guys ready?

Blackwargraymon: Yes. We have found a human that is willing to eat a spoonful of sand for tickets to your show.

Mew: That’s probably not healthy, but okay.

Blackwargraymon: Okay human named Tom, eat the sand.

(Link hands him a spoon full of sand. The guy sticks it in his mouth and swallows. Link gives him some water, then he gives them a thumbs up.)

Blackwargraymon: Excellent. You are aware that we got that sand from where we saw a dog relieving it’s self, aren’t you?

(The guy turns around and starts gagging)

Link: He’s kidding! He’s kidding!

(You hear Mew and Davis laughing. Link and Blackwargraymon laugh too. The guy just keeps gagging. Blackwargraymon sticks some tickets in the guy’s pocket and moves on to a girl that’s standing a few feet away)

Girl: I am NOT eating any dog pee sand. I don’t want to see the show live that badly.

Link: It wasn’t dog pee sand. And we wouldn’t do the same thing twice any way.

Girl: What do I do then?

Blackwargraymon: You will drink some of this lovely tea Link has prepared.

(Link pulls a thermos and a cup out of a bag he was carrying. He pours some of the “tea” into the cup)

Girl: What-what kind of tea is it?

Link: You won’t know until you try some.

(The girl looks at Link, then at the cup, then at Blackwargraymon {who is smiling very evil like}, then back at Link again)

Girl: Ummmm.... It won’t kill me will it?

Link: We hope not- I mean. Of course not! Heh heh...

Girl: Ummmm.... Okay.

(She drinks from the cup. Her eyes pop way open and she spits it out.)

Girl: Gross! That tasted like dirt!

Link: That wasn’t just any dirt. That was TPAMS brand dirt. The dirt that comes from TPAMSs Studios. Only $9.99 a jar. You can find that and other TPAMS merchandise in the TPAMS Studio Store. Go there after the show!

Mew: Good job Link!

Link: Thanks Mew.

Blackwargraymon: Here’s some tickets for being a part of our commercial.

(The girl takes her tickets and walks away.)

Link: We’ll find someone else and you can come back to us later.

Mew: Kay. Lets talk to the Digidestened now.

(Half the screen cuts to Sora and Kari, the other half shows Mew, Davis, and Vegeta.)

Sora: HI! We got some people with questions for Davis!

Davis: Lets hear it.

Boy: Hi Davis! Is it true that Veemon fell into a hydraulic generator and died yesterday?

Davis: No. Veemon is at my house sleeping. And possibly eating.

Boy: Okay.

Girl: My turn! I love you Davis!

Davis: Yeah. I think you’re great too.

Girl: AHHHHH! He said I’m great! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Kari: You do have a question for him, don’t you?

Girl: Oh yeah! Davis, is it true that you said you’re looking for a girl friend, because if you are...

Davis: No. Next question.

Boy: Now me! Hey Davis! You still owe me $15! Where is it!?

Davis: Next question.

Girl: ME! I have a question for Vegeta.

Vegeta: Okay.

Girl: Did you know that your car is being towed away?

Vegeta: What!? Uh-oh. I have to go. It was fun. Bye!

(He runs off the set.)

Mew: Okay... I think we’ll bring out the next-

(Mew Two walks out and whispers something to Mew.)

Mew: Oh no.... Really?

Mew Two: Uh-huh.

Mew: Oh dear. That’s awful. We don’t know anyone there, do we?

Mew Two: No.

Mew: Oh. Have the narrator add a dedication at the end. And get Thunder’s Lazy butt over here!

Mew Two: Okay. And your next guest is Gene.

(Mew Two walks off the set while Gene walks on to it and sits down.)

Mew: Hey Gene!

Gene: Hi. What’s up?

Mew: Not a lot. I just got some terrible news from Mew Two that inspired me to do or first ever dedication!

Gene: That’s nice? Who for?

Mew: You’ll see. I want it to be all suprise like.

Gene: Okay. So, this was a fun idea. I’m glad you thought of it. I don’t get to go to the beach much.

Mew: I know how you feel. I wanted to come to the beach really bad. That’s why we are having this special.

Gene: Neat.

Mew: So Gene, I was watching some earlier episodes of Outlaw Star.

Gene: Good. I watched some episodes of Pokémon and all 3 movies.

Mew: Good. I was just wondering why you keep remembering that same scene every time you go into space. I missed the very first episode.

Gene: Oh. You see, at first, I still had a fear of space because of what happened the last time I had gone into space.

Mew: What happened?

Gene: Well, I was with my dad and we were traveling around until we were attacked. My dad put me in the escape pod and sent me out and I watched our ship explode. I never forgot the ship that attacked us...

Mew: Awwww... That’s so sad! I’m sorry!

Gene: It’s okay.

Mew: Did you anything fun lately?

Gene: Well, I went to “The Club” the other day. I saw Lightning there.

Mew: He’s been going there a lot lately.

Gene: Has he? He told me that he was trying to relax after all the work he’s had to do for the show.

Mew: He has been working hard. Unlike some people.

(They look over to thunder who’s still dancing. Davis has joined him.)

Mew: *sigh* Anything interesting happen at “The Club”?

Gene: I won $500 in a poker game.

Mew: That’s nice. I hope you didn’t blow it right away...

Gene: I put half of it towards my debts and the other half towards a new gun for the Outlaw Star.

Mew: Gene, Gene, Gene....

Gene: What?

Mew: Lets see if anyone has any questions for you?

Gene: Okay!

(They do the half and half thing again. On half the screen you see Izzy, T.K. and Tai)

Mew: Where have you 3 been?

Tai: Surfing! Any way, we have some people here that want to talk to Gene.

Gene: Lets hear it.

Boy: Hi -ummm- Gene. I was wondering, What happened to your face? Did you get attacked by a cat or something?

Gene: I wouldn’t say it attacked me. I prefer the term- oh never mind. Yes. I was attacked by a cat. And an evil one at that. Damn cat. I hope it died.

Mew: Ummm.... I hope you don’t feel that way about all cats.

Gene: I sure d- Oh no! Not you Mew! Or Mew Two! You guys are good cats!

Mew: That’s what I thought. Next question.

Girl: How come you always fight with that strange gun?

Gene: I like it.

Mew: How come?

Gene: It’s very powerful. And it’s fairly easy to hide from pirates and such.

Mew: Oh. I always thought you used guns because you’re so skinny and small that it’s the only way you can defend yourself.

(She smiles evilly. As evilly as a Mew can, any way. Gene glares at her)

Gene: Next question.

Izzy: Okay. We have one more.

Boy: What’s it like to have the coolest ship ever!?

Gene: It’s fun.

Mew: That’s it?

Gene: Yeah, that’s it.

Mew: Okay. We’ll see you guys later, and we’ll see you later Gene.

Gene: Okay. Bye!

(He walks off the set.)

Mew Two: Next is The Digimon Tamers.

(They walk on to the set)

Mew: Hi Rika, Henry, and Takato.

Rika: Hello.

Henry: Hey Mew!

Takato: HI!

Mew: How are you guys today?

Rika: I’m all right.

Henry: I’m good.

Takato: I’m great! How are you Mew? And where’s Thunder?

Mew: I’m fine. And Thunder is over there.

(They all look over to Thunder and Davis who are still dancing)

Thunder: Oh yeah! This is cool!

Davis: Word!

Mew: *sigh* Any way, what’s up in your world?

Rika: Not a whole lot. That’s why we came here.

Henry: Yeah. We decided that we needed to hype our show as much as possible if we wanted to even compare to the Digidestened.

Mew: Well, I liked your show. It was nice, but I’m liking seasons 1 and 2 better.

Takato: To be honest with you, so are we. We aren’t very good at this yet, but give us a chance! We’ll impress you still!

Mew: I hope so.

Rika: We do like your show a lot too. That’s another reason that we came. I’ve loved TPAMS since episode 1.

Mew: Awwww... Thanks Rika.

Rika: Thank you for having us.

Takato: Oh my gosh! It’s Davis!

(Henry, Rika, and Mew look at him)

Mew: Ummm... Takato, honey, he’s been there the whole time.

Takato: I know! But he’s my idol! I want to be just like him!

Mew: You can tell him that. DAVIS! THUNDER! Get your sorry a**es over here!

(Thunder and Davis walk over)

Thunder: Bah. I only came because I was getting tired.

Takato: Ummm... HI Davis!

Davis: Hey! It’s one of the season 3 newbies! Hey kid!

Takato: HI! You’re my hero Davis!

Mew: Awwww....

Davis: Who and how much?

Takato: What?

Davis: WHO paid you to say that, and HOW MUCH did they pay you to say that?

Takato: No one and nothing. You’re the coolest Davis! I even got goggles just like yours!

(Davis looks at his head)

Davis: Oh. So you did. That’s nice.

Takato: I know!

Thunder: ANY WAY, tell us what it’s like to be brought out in the shadow of seasons 1 and 2.

Rika: It’s horrible!

Henry: We get no respect!

Rika: No one sees our original plot line and great acting skills!

Henry: And.... YEAH!

Mew: Don’t worry, people do every thing we tell them. Watch. HEY EVERYONE OUT THERE WATCHING! I want you all to watch Digimon season 3 on Saturday morning! WATCH OR ELSE! There.

Rika: Ummmmm.....

Henry: Uhhhhh.....

Takato: Thanks Mew!

Rika and Henry: Yeeeeaaaahhhhh..... Thanks.

Mew: Don’t mention it.

Thunder: Ummm... What kinds of things are you guys into?

Rika: I’m a playwright.

Mew: Really?

Rika: Yes. My latest play is entitled: Lost in my Backpack. It’s a touching story I wrote to honor everything I lost in my backpack.

Mew: Uh-huh.... What about you Henry?

Henry: Well, Mew, I am a novelist. I’m out to write a book that’s even bigger than Harry Potter!

Mew: Really? Does it have a title?

Henry: Yes. It’s called: The Dragon’s Valley.

Thunder: Ooohhh! That sounds good. What’s it about?

Henry: The secret land that exists under my bed.

Mew: Uhhhh.... Okay Tacky, what about you?

Takato: Me?

Mew: I don’t see any other Tacky’s around here.

Takato: Okay. Well, I don’t write plays or novels, I’m actually filming a movie!

Thunder: *sigh* And what’s it called?

Takato: The Adventures of Takato in the Digital World!

Mew: Really? What’s it about?

Takato: Well, me and Guilmon (He’s my Digimon) find a portal to the Digital World, and we meet up with the Digidestened and we help them save the world!

Mew: Hey! That sounds kinda good.

Davis: Who’s playing the Digidestened?

Takato: I wanted to actually hire you guys, but I can’t afford to, so I found a bunch of kids that were willing to dress up like you.

Davis: I want to be me!

Takato: REALLY!? THAT’D BE AWSOME!

Davis: I know. Me and the others will be over at noon next Saturday. You better be ready.

Takato: YES! MY MOVIE’S GOING TO RULE!

(He starts dancing)

Mew: Sit Tacky.

Takato: Yes ma’am.

(He sits back down)

Thunder: So, what else is up with you guys?

Rika: Well, not much. We don’t do much. We are only 10 after all.

Henry: How old are you?

Mew: 1,549.

Henry, Rika, and Takato: Whoa.

Rika: Wait! I remember the episode with your mom where she told everyone how old you were!

Mew: Yeah. And if you missed the episode, you could have at least gone to our homepage.

Thunder: The address is:

http://www.oocities.org/woopers_adventures/coolness/index.html

GO THERE NOW! Please.

(Yes that address IS real, so do go there)

Rika: How come it doesn’t have “The Pikachu and Mew Show” or “TPAMS” in it any where?

Mew: Kem is the webmisteress. Ask her.

(Kem walks on to the set)

Kem: I used a page that was originally something else.

Rika: Oh. Okay.

Mew: Thanks Kem!

(Kem walks off the set)

Mew: Well kids, I think we need to go to a new guest now since Mew Two is signaling that Tai and the gang can’t find anyone that has questions for you- errrr... yet.

Takato: Okay.

Rika: That’s fine.

Henry: See you later. I hope you’ll have us back sometime.

Thunder: You know we will once we’ve seen more of your show.

Takato, Rika, and Henry: Okay! Bye!

(They walk off the set)

Mew: Aww... They’re nice kids. Who’s next, Two?

Mew Two: Next up is Li.

(He walks onto the set. He’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt that is exactly like Mew Two’s)

Thunder: Hey! Mew Two is wearing a shirt like that!

Li: I know. One of your other guests was giving me crap about that. I happen to like this shirt though.

Mew: I didn’t know you owned any normal clothing.

Li: Of course I do! I wear them all the time.

Davis: But those are dorky rich kid clothes.

Li: Gosh. I’m so sorry. I’ll run out and get something Fubu right now. (sarcasm)

Mew: You do that. So, what’s new with you?

Li: Nothing. Say, did you hear about the-

Mew: Does it involve mass destruction and the real world?

Li: Yeah.

Mew: SHHH!

Li: Why?

Mew: Later. Any way, you haven’t done anything fun lately?

Li: Well, not really. I’ve been kinda bummed out lately.

Mew: Awwww... Why?

Li: Sakura got an new best friend.

Mew: Shouldn’t that make you happy?

Li: It does, it’s just that I hate her so much.

Davis: Sakura or the friend?

Li: I was referring to the friend, but I’m not too fond of Sakura right now either.

Mew: Do we know this friend?

Li: I don’t think so. Her name is Meilin.

Mew: YOUR friend Meilin?

Li: Yes. You know her?

Mew: I know of her. Thunder met her once, I think..

(They all look over to Thunder. He’s still dancing)

Thunder: Whoooo yeah!

Mew: *sigh* I swear I told Mew Two to get him over here.

Mew Two: I tried. He just said “Mew’s a nag. She can do this herself.”

Mew: I am not a nag! Am I Li?

Li: Uhhhhhhh..... No. Of course not.

Mew: I knew it! Any way, why are you mad at Sakura and Meilin?

Li: Meilin has gone super witch ever since she started hanging out with Sakura. They both have. I just can’t put up with their attitudes any more. And to make my life even worse, Madison keeps calling me to whine about Davis! Davis this, Davis that. If I weren’t his friend I’d want to kill him! Madison calls me at all hours of the night asking me what to do!

Davis: What do you tell her?

Li: To just wait. He’ll come around sooner or later, but that’s not the point! THE POINT IS I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! Especially when I’m trying to sleep!

Mew: Awww... Poor Li. You can go take a nap in Thunder’s trailer. He’s not using it any way.

(They look over at him again)

Thunder: “Why were you creepin’ ‘round late last night...!”

Mew: *sigh*

Li: I think I’ll take you up on that Mew. I’m tired.

Mew: Okay. Bye!

Li: Bye.

(He walks off the set. A few seconds later we hear a crash. Mew covers her face with her paws)

Li: I’m okay!

Mew: Are you sure? That lamp fell right on to you.

Li: Yeah. I’m f-

(you hear a thud)

Mew: Ummm... Can you go put him somewhere Mew Two? A unconscious child laying on he beach in front of Giovanni’s house is going to make the neighbors think this is a drug party or something.

Mew Two: A Rave?

Mew: Yeah! How do you know what they’re called?

Mew Two: Ummmm..... Never mind.

Mew: Who’s next before you go. Crack head.

Mew Two: I am not a crack head! And Goku is next.

(He walks onto the stage in a funny Hawaiian shirt. It has Eevees on it. )

Mew: I love the shirt Goku.

Goku: Me too! Chi Chi got it for me.

Mew: I like the shirt, and you’re cool too, but I’m not very fond of that wife of yours.

Goku: She’s just a little defensive. She really is a very nice person.

Davis: Yeah Mew. She’s a mom. All moms are like that.

Mew: I think she’s a witch and you can do much better. I can help you find a new wife. Do you want me to do that?

Goku: No. I’m okay.

Mew: Seriously. We can go get you a new wife. One that’s much less irritating. If Blossom can divorce her dad, you can divorce your wife. I don’t like her.

Goku: I have no problem with her. Why do you want me to get a divorce?

Mew: Because I hate Chi Chi. Now you go get a divorce or I don’t know if we can be friends any more.

Goku: But Mew! That’s not fair!

Mew: And it’s not fair for me to have to sit and watch my friend sit through a bad marriage. Why do you like her Goku? She’s constantly yelling at you, she blames everything on you, and she’s extremely bossy!

(Davis and Goku look at her)

Mew: STOP THAT!

Davis and Goku: *sigh*

Goku: Look Mew, she’s not that bad. She doesn’t always yell at me. She only yells when I do something stupid. I guess that does happen a lot... But that’s ‘cause I do lots of stupid stuff. Once I almost killed Gohan. It was an accident, but boy did she yell at me then. And-

Mew: See!? She’s convincing you that you’re dumb! I don’t usually try this hard to break up marriages, but yours just isn’t working. Seriously, dude, you need to ditch her for a wife that isn’t mean. What about Oprah? Oprah is nice.

(Davis and Goku look at her, then they scoot their chairs away from her)

Goku: No, Mew.

Mew: Fine. We’ll just talk to the Digidestened then.

(Half the screen cuts to Sora and Kari)

Sora: HI!

Mew: Hi. Do you have anyone?

Sora: Just 1 question for Goku.

Boy: Ummmmm........ How come you go from dumb to smart, then back to dumb? It’s like having IQ swings.

Goku: I’m never dumb....... I just choose not to think sometimes!

(Goku smiles. Mew and Davis do the Anime thing where they fall off their chairs)

Mew: *sigh* Lets talk to Link and Blackwargraymon.

(We watch Mew and Davis get back into their chairs, then the screen cuts to Blackwargraymon)

Blackwargraymon: Hello Mew. My partner and I have found yet another moron to do yet another stupid thing.

Mew: Where’s Link?

Blackwargraymon: He’s helping our person prepare.

(Link walks on camera.)

Link: Okay. He’s ready.

Blackwargraymon: Excellent. Now watch as the true essence of human stupidity is captured.

(The camera moves and we now see a group of people. There’s a guy in a Pikachu suit walking our to some people. He walks up behind some people. )

Guy: Piiiiikaaaachuuuuu!

(The people jump and turn to look at him)

Lady: What the hell are you doing!?

(Mew and Davis begin laughing hysterically. The guy walks over to some new people. Mew and Davis keep laughing.)

Guy: Piiiiikaaaaaaaachuuuuuuuu!

Dude: What the f***!?

(You can still hear Mew and Davis laughing. Blackwargraymon and Link are laughing too. The Pikachu guy’s last victim begins chasing him around. Mew and Davis are laughing even harder now. After watching the Pikachu guy get chased for a minute or 2, Link goes over and helps the Pikachu guy. A minute or so later, they walk up to Blackwargraymon)

Blackwargraymon: Good job human.

Guy: Th-thanks..

Link: As promised, here’s your jar of dirt.

Guy: WHAT!?

Link: I’m kidding! I’m kidding! Here are your tickets. You can keep the costume.

Guy: Thanks a lot. (sarcasm)

(They guy walks off camera.)

Mew: That was a good one guys.

Davis: Yeah. It was totally hilarious!

Link: We thought about that one for at least 15 minutes. We wanted something that’d be really funny.

Blackwargraymon: Preferably something that doesn’t involve me being high on Pixie Sticks.

(They all laugh)

Mew: We’ll talk to you guys a little later.

Link: Okay. See you!

(The screen cuts back to Mew and Davis who are now sitting with Giovanni)

Giovanni: I didn’t think that was funny at all.

Mew: You also suck.

Giovanni: Silence. I demand to know who the secret guests are now!

Mew: I’m glad, because we wanted you to be here when we interview them!

Giovanni: What?

Mew: THUNDER!

(He runs over and sits down)

Thunder: It’s secret guest time now, isn’t it!?

Mew: Yep! You see Vanni, after hearing you talk about your funny childhood, we got the one guest who could tell us more.

Giovanni: Who is it?

Mew and Thunder: YOUR THERAPIST!

Giovanni: Great....(sarcasm)

(A guy in a suit walks on to the set)

Mew: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You do NOT wear a suit to the beach. Even Giovanni got into the theme of the show.

Therapist: I know. But I have to go somewhere after this.

Thunder: What ever. Tell us about Giovanni.

Therapist: Where do I begin!? He’s a total head case!

(Giovanni starts laughing)

Therapist: You were, and you still are! He heard voices! And he said he saw dead people!

(Thunder and Mew laugh too)

Therapist: You think this is funny!? In all my years I never saw anyone that is more insane than he is and I don’t think I ever will!

(Thunder, Mew, and Giovanni keep laughing)

Mew: You know who I think is crazy?

Therapist: Giovanni?

Mew and Thunder: YOU!

(They both laugh)

Therapist: I AM NOT CRAZY! And this most certainly isn’t funny! I think the both of you are nuts too!

Mew: And Santa Claus lives in Bermuda. (sarcasm)

Therapist: You’re insane! The Pikachu is insane! Giovanni is insane! You’re all insane! Yes you are! Bwahahahahaha!

(Thunder, Mew, and Giovanni look at him. )

Giovanni: Yes! It may have taken 26 years, but I drove HIM crazy!

Mew: We helped!

Giovanni: And I’m grateful for it.

Therapist: Look at the bunny! Hi Bunny!

Mew Two: Ummm.... Should I take him to a mental institution?

Mew: Probably.

Mew Two: I’ll get on that.

(Mew Two teleports away with the therapist)

Mew: And now for another suprise guest!

Giovanni: Who now?

Mew: Your brother.

Giovanni: NO! I forbid that!

Mew: How come?

Giovanni: I don’t want you to talk to him.

Thunder: So?

Giovanni: So I said no!

Mew: Are you sure? What if I say he brought you a present?

Giovanni: I don’t like presents.

Mew: Candy?

Giovanni: I HATE candy.

Mew: Ummmm..... Presents?

Thunder: Stop negotiating with him and bring out his brother!

Giovanni: Why would you want to do that, Mew? Ignore the rat.

Mew: I would, but, I promised your brother he could come.

Giovanni: I’ll pay you to change your mind.

Mew: How much?

Giovanni: $10?

Mew: Not gonna do it.

Giovanni: $100?

Mew: Nuh-uh.

Giovanni: $1000?

(She points up)

Giovanni: This is robbery!

Mew: We COULD just talk to your brother.

Giovanni: $2500 and that’s as high as I go.

Mew: That’ll do.

(He hands her the money.)

Mew: Shoot!

Giovanni: What?

Mew: Did I say your brother was here? I meant Tenchi! He’s kinda like a brother isn’t he?

(Giovanni glares at her)

Mew: I needed some cash. You have cash. I KNEW you’d be good to help out.

(He just glares at her. Thunder starts laughing, and Tenchi walks out)

Tenchi: Hi everyone!

Mew: Hi!

Thunder: What’s up dude?

Tenchi: Not a lot. You?

Mew: Well, not much here either. We haven’t been invited to any parties lately. Why is that?

Giovanni: You’re annoying, moronic, AND evil.

Mew: Shut up.

Tenchi: I was thinking...

Giovanni: You can do that? Wow! (sarcasm)

Mew: Be nice!

Tenchi: Any way, I thought that you should interview the Iron Chef guy.

Thunder: You were thinking about that?

Tenchi: Yeah. I would like to see you guys interview him. I just thought that’d be fun.

Mew: That isn’t a bad idea. We’ll think about it Tenchi.

Thunder: Hey! Maybe he could tell us “Cuison” means.

Mew: What does that mean!? They’re always saying it! Every 30 seconds that stupid guy that annoys the hell out of me is like “Cuison!”. And you know he annoys the people there too. The all want to tell him to shut the F*** up!

(Everyone looks at her)

Mew: I really, REALLY hate that guy!

Mew Two: Actually Mew, he is saying “Fuki-san”.

Mew: Then why does it sound like “cusion”?

Mew Two: He speaks to quickly.

Mew: How do you know all this?

Mew Two: I went to the Food Network web site with Kem and looked it up.

Thunder: Do you know what it means?

Mew Two: It’s just him calling the announcer guys name.

Mew: Oh! Thanks Two!

Mew Two: Any time.

Thunder: *sigh* ANY WAY, Lets talk about you Tenchi. Do you still live with all those girls?

Tenchi: Yeah.

Thunder: “He’s got pros! He’s got pros! In different area codes! Area codes!”

Mew: *sigh* Big Pimpin’ was funnier.

Thunder: I was trying to be different.

Giovanni: You know, I don’t believe he understands the joke.

Tenchi: Yeah. Was it about Ludacris? Was it about the song? I like that song.

Thunder, Mew, and Giovanni: *sigh*

Mew: My goodness! Look at the time! We need to check in with our groups 1 last time. We’ll start with the ones who have been keeping this episode from blowing.

(The screen cuts to Blackwargraymon)

Blackwargraymon: Hello.

Mew: HI! What do you have for us this time?

Blackwargraymon: Well, again, Link is preparing our people again. Oh! Here he comes now.

(Link walks on camera)

Link: Hi! They’re ready now.

Blackwargraymon: Excellent.

Giovanni: You aren’t going to make them run up behind people and yell again are you?

Link: Of course not! I already said this once, but I’ll say it again. We don’t do the same thing twice.

Thunder: What is it then?

Blackwargraymon: If you stop talking and watch, you’ll see.

(The camera moves over to a stage that was set up on the beach. There is a guy on the stage talking to a crowd. )

Mew: Eeewww! That’s the owner of our newest rival talk show which is a disgusting rip-off, “The Lightning and Meowth Show”.

Thunder: My brother Lightning doesn’t like that the show is named what it is. He wants to sue. But that’s another story.

Link: That IS why we picked this you know. Messing up anything of theirs would rule, would it not?

Mew: I guess so.

Blackwargraymon: Okay. Watch now.

(A group of kids wearing a TPAMS T-shirts run onto the stage carrying a boom box)

Guy: What are you doing here!? Get out of here!

Kids: No!

Guy: Do I have to have you removed!?

(They start playing the worlds worst rap song “Bad boy for life” by P-Diddy as he’s called these days. Thunder, Mew, and Tenchi start laughing. Only they would be amused by this)

Guy: GRRR! Get off my stage! I can’t believe you’d come to a TLAMS promotion wearing TPAMS T-shirts! They sent you didn’t they!?

Boy: Maybe. Who sent you here?

Guy: I sent myself here!

Girl: Then we sent ourselves here. AND...

Kids: “We ain’t... Goin’ nowhere! We ain’t. Goin nowhere! We can’t be stopped now”

(Thunder and Mew laugh some more)

Guy: If you’re here, then TPAMS must be here too! I must find them! Lightning! Meowth! Persian the stage manager! Come!

(The guy and the 3 Pokémon run off. )

Link: Ummmm.... That wasn’t supposed to happen.

Blackwargraymon: Yeah. They were supposed to call security and the kids were supposed to spray them with spray cheese.

Link: Oops.

Mew: That’s okay. This could get interesting.

Thunder: Shall we wait for them to come?

Mew: Hell yeah.

Giovanni: This isn’t going to become violent, is it?

Mew: I hope not. Lets talk to the Digidestened quick.

(The screen cuts to Sora, Kari, and T.K.)

T.K.: Hi. We have 1 last person for you.

Thunder: Only 1?

Kari: Well, we screened the questions first, and most of them are the kind you told us to avoid.

Mew: Okay. Lets hear it.

Boy: This is for Tenchi. How come your parents let you live with all those girls? Are they crazy! That’d never happen at my house.

Tenchi: My dad invited them to stay actually.

Boy: You’re dad’s messed up.

Tenchi: Yeah, I guess he is.

(The screen cuts back to Mew and her group)

Mew: okay. And now to announce our next contest!

Thunder: Okay. This essay contest is going no where. We’ve gotten no real entries that don’t suck, SO we’re going to a new contest with an even better prize!

Mew: It’s the “We love Thunder and Mew this much!” contest.

Thunder: You and at least 1 friend go to (dare I say it) a rival talk show, get them to call on you, and scream out how much you love us!

Mew: If our official competition watcher (Sailor Neptune) sees you, she’ll write it down. Who ever says the most about us and how much they love us, will get to come watch our show!

Thunder: You might be thinking “How is watching better than being interviewed?” Well, I’ll tell you! You get to watch from on stage!

Mew: And to make this even better, you get to come to the after party!

Thunder: Yes, the after party! And at this after party, you’ll get to meet all your favorite stars!

Mew: ALL of them! Well, all of them that we like and invite.

Thunder: Now, you must be thinking “But Thunder and Mew, I can’t afford to buy tickets to other talk shows. And why would I want to?” Well, we’ve got that covered too!

Mew: We’ll have stations set up where you can come and get free tickets to everything from Anime Talk to Jar Jar Banks to *snicker* The Lightning and Meowth Show! You want it, we got it.

Thunder: And these stations are at your local Pokémon center. You’ll see a table that will have 2 people wearing TPAMS shirts near the back.

Mew: So lets recap:

1. Go to a Pokémon center and get free tickets to a rival talk show.

2. Raise your hand at every possible opportunity, till they pick you.

3. Scream out how much you love us.

4. Get seen by Neptune.

5. Get to watch our show on stage for free and get into the VIP After Party.

You can’t lose! Well, you can, but not if you love us the most and let everyone know it!

Thunder: It’s that simple!

Mew: Understand? Good! Ummm.... Gosh. I figured that *snicker* TLAMS would be here by now.

Guy: We are!

(Everyone looks towards the voice. The cast of TLAMS walks onto the set.)

Thunder: What up copycats?

Guy: Not much. You?

Mew: Not much here either, till now. I finally get to meet the sorriest attempt to oppose us yet. What do we have here... Lightning the Pikachu, Meowth, and Persian the stage manager. Let me guess, you 2 are related. Sister and brother no doubt.

Meowth: Yes. He’s my little brother.

(Thunder and Mew try to contain their laughter)

Mew: Ahem. Sorry. Now, I’ve never seen your show, but I bet you go for comedy.

Fake Lightning: We do!

Mew: And you’re all trained by the same trainer?

Persian: Yes.

Mew: (trying not to laugh) I bet you’re a genius.

Persian: I am.

Mew: Does your trainer train 3 other Pokémon the often make cameo appearances?

Meowth: Yeah.

Mew: A rap loving Raichu perhaps?

Fake Lightning: He’s more into alternative. No. Wait, he IS into rap. And he’s our secretary.

Mew: A “badass” feminist Charizard?

Meowth: She is pretty tough. And she is kind of a feminist.

Mew: And an “evil” Raichu perhaps?

Persian: Yes.

(Thunder, Mew Two, and Mew laugh)

Mew Two: What aspect of our lives didn’t you steal!?

Thunder: You’re sad!

Meowth: We are not!

(She blows a whistle)

Mew: Are you calling your dogs to protect you? Don’t worry. We won’t hurt you.

Meowth: No! We’re calling Thunder, Buttercup, and Lightning the Raichu to show you how different they are!

(Thunder, Mew Two, and Mew begin laughing hysterically)

Thunder: Let’s see these clowns. I’m curious now.

Fake Lightning: Why don’t you call your family out here?

Mew: We don’t do things just because other people are doing things. And you shouldn’t either kids!

Persian: I’ll be back.

(he walks off the set. Meanwhile, a Charizard and 2 Raichus walk on to the set)

Mew: Look! It’s an imitation Blossom and an imitation Lightning and evil Thunder!

(The Persian returns with real Lightning, Blossom, and evil Thunder.)

Mew: You did not just walk into our guest tent.

Persian: I did.

real Lightning: S*** Mew, he did!

evil Thunder: Kick his ass!

Blossom: Word!

Mew: Let us not resort to violence. Now, let me ask you, PERSIAN, why did you go get Blossom, Lightning, and evil Thunder?

Persian: To show you how different everyone is.

Thunder: Well, now that you mention it, Blossom is a lot bigger than Buttercup over there, our Lightning is smaller and cooler looking, and evil Thunder is a much eviler.

Fake Lightning: Yeah! Wait! You can’t say that!

Mew: Sure he can. Lets pick on them guys!

Guy: NO!

Mew: It’s OUR show and we’re going to pick on them. So there.

real Lightning: Hey! I forgot to mention, look what I got yesterday.

(He shows everyone his earring)

Mew: You got an earring!?

real Lightning: Kem let me!

Mew: SHE LET YOU GET AN EARRING AND NOT ME!? NO FAIR!

real Lightning: Ask her again and again till she goes “If I let you get one, will you shut up and leave me alone?”. That’s what I did.

Mew: I’ll remember that.

Meowth: ANY WAY....

Mew: Oh yeah! You suck!

Blossom: Yeah! Ash could do a better talk show than you!

Thunder: He does. It’s called Anime Talk. It’s number 2 in the ratings.

Blossom: Oh yeah! Well..... Ummmm..... You suck and all that stuff!

Mew Two: Ummm... Isn’t giving them this air time helping spread awareness of their show?

Mew: Our fans our loyal. They’d never leave us for this trash.

Persian: You’re calling us trash?

Fake Lightning: Take a look in a mirror!

Meowth: You’re trash!

Mew Two: You mean to tell me you have the nerve to challenge 5 level 100 super Pokémon, and a level 90 kinda almost super Pokémon, that already don’t like you?

Persian: You’re all level 100?

Mew: You got it sweet heart.

Thunder: And we don’t like you.

Meowth: Yeah... Well.... Ummmmm........ We went to “Tough Guy’s Pokémon Training Camp for Tough Pokémon”! That means we’re stronger than you. I think.

real Lightning: HA!

Blossom: We all went to “The 9th Gym”. And we kicked ass too.

evil Thunder: You don’t stand a chance!

Mew Two: But do humor us some more.

Fake Lightning: Ummmmm..... Gosh. Well, we have money and a talk show too and we’ll be running this town soon enough!

real Lightning: We’re in charge of an entire network. No matter what we’ll always be able to beat you out of everything.

Persian: Well that’s a really narrow minded way to look at this.

Mew: How about we just wait for the ratings to come out next month and we’ll see who’s number 1. Loyal viewers, extra credit for anyone who brings a sign that says TPAMS rules in to The Lightning and Meowth Show.

Thunder: Super extra credit if you get it on camera several times during the course of the episode.

Mew Two: You are aware that they are on at the same time you are.

Mew: Are you kidding me!? You guys are so screwed.

Meowth: We are not!

Mew: Say, do you have your first episode done yet?

Fake Lightning: No- not yet.

Mew: We’ll be your first guests.

Thunder: We will!?

Meowth: You will!?

Mew: Sure.

(she smiles evilly)

Mew: That’ll get our fans to watch it. And we have lots of fans. Maybe we could even arrange to get some of our guests to help you out too.

real Lightning: Mew, as your financial advisor, I don’t recommend doing any of that.

Mew: AND, Lightning will buy you and put you on TLC. Just doing that should help your chances.

real Lightning: STOP NOW! I don’t agree to any of this!

Mew: We’ll put you on right before TPAMS, and we’ll even get you dressing rooms.

Meowth: Why the hell would you do that!?

Mew: I want our viewers to be able to compare us fairly.

Fake Lightning: We need to discuss this.

(The TLAMS crowd forms a huddle. After a minute or so, they come out of it)

Meowth: We’ll do it.

Mew: GREAT!

real Lightning: I don’t like this at all...

Mew: Trust me.

Thunder: Well folks, that’s all the time we have for today. I’m not sure what tomorrow’s going to be like. Just tune in and see. BYE!

Mew: BYE! Hit it narrator!

That’s it for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show! Tune in tomorrow because you can. Also, on behalf of the entire Thunder, Mew, and all TPAMS employees, we’d like to express our deepest sympathys towards the families and victims of the World Trade Center and Pentagon Bombings. In light of this tragedy, Thunder and Mew (Mostly Mew) have decided to dedicate this episode to the families and victims of the bombings. We hope everyone enjoyed this episode, and that you keep the victims in your thoughts and stuff. Thank you very much for watching.

Mew: Nice narrator.

Thanks Mew.