Thunder: Mew, I’m not so sure this is a good idea. Even Lightning is against this, and he’s usually into everything.

Mew Two: Yes, he said that this is a financially bad idea. If people like TLAMS, then you are going to be out of a job. We all will be.

Mew: You guys worry to much! Do you honestly believe are fans are so stupid that they’d ditch us for something that’s exactly the same? Take Barbies. Barbies have been popular for 50 years. There are tons of imitation Barbies, but none of them even come close to running Barbies under.

Mew Two: I can not believe you are comparing us to dolls.

Mew: It’s just my way of calming you both down. I promise you have nothing to worry about.

Thunder: I really don’t like this Mew.

Mew: Do you honestly believe that I’d go on their show and play nice guest? HA! I have a plan, and it involves their immediate cancellation. Don’t worry. Just go on stage, be a smart ass, and we’ll be just fine! Lightning and Meowth are going to learn what happens to those who oppose the TPAMS empire and they will be sorry! Bwahahaha!

Mew Two: *sigh* I hope you know what you’re doing...

Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 28 of The Pikachu and Mew Show!

Mew: As our title says, today we aren’t the hosts, we’re going on The Lightning and Meowth Show!

Thunder: So in a moment, we’ll be heading down the hall to the TLAMS set. That’s why this is in actuality THEIR time slot. We’re just borrowing some of it.

Mew: So really, episode 28 of our show is episode 1 of theirs. If you’re wondering about TPAMS for today, we are replaying the Evil Day special right after this.

Thunder: Reruns already... Sorry. This technically is a new episode... Oh well. Come on everyone.

(The screen goes black. A moment later, you see a Pikachu and a Meowth on screen. The Pikachu is in a regular chair, and the Meowth is in a bean bag chair. You’d swear this was the set of TPAMS, but the Pokémon on stage are very different. For one thing, this Pikachu is extremely skinny. There is no way in hell that it’s Thunder. But, any way, It’s time for a new title, since this technically isn’t TPAMS)

Lightning: Hi everyone!

Meowth: Welcome to the very first episode of The Lightning and Meowth Show!

Lightning: You’re going to love today’s guests!

Meowth: We have Thunder, Mew, and Mew Two of The Pikachu and Mew Show; and a few of their (and your) favorite guests that they talked in to coming on our show!

Lightning: That list includes Ash, Sailor Neptune, Giovanni, Goku, and Davis.

Meowth: Wow! What a first episode!

Lightning: Lets start this out with the lady that made this all possible!

Persian: You mean Mew right?

Lightning: Yes.

Persian: Okay.

(Mew flies on to the stage. The audience gives her a standing ovation. She waves and smiles, then a bean bag chair appears under her and she sits on it)

Meowth: Hi Mew! We want to thank you again for all of this.

Mew: It was nothing. REALLY.

Lightning: So Mew, you’re really big these days.

Mew: You didn’t have to tell me that.

(The audience cheers)

Lightning: Do you think we could ever become as big as you are?

Mew: Not unless you’re bringing me water on my show. Oops! Did I say that out loud? I meant, you can try but it’ll never happen. Or- Damn! I guess in all seriousness, no, no I don’t.

Meowth: Why is that?

Mew: Because no one can surpass TPAMS ever. Until me and Thunder want to quit, we will always be on top.

Lightning: I dunno....

Mew: You will because I don’t like to lose. My entire life has been a series of victory after victory. I NEVER lose at ANYTHING. Even if that means eliminating the competition.

(She smiles evilly. They just look at her. The audience begins chanting “Mew! Mew!”)

Mew: I know, I know. I’m wonderful! You are too!

(The audience cheers)

Meowth: O-Kay.... Lets talk about you Mew.

Mew: Okay. I love talking about me!

Lightning: Don’t we all. (sarcasm)

Audience: Yes! We love Mew!

Mew: Awww... That’s so sweet! I love you too!

Meowth: ANY WAY, why don’t you tell us about yourself.

Mew: Why? You already stole most of my life. You should know everything by now.

(Meowth glares at her)

Mew: Okay fine. What do you want to know?

Lightning: Why don’t you tell us where you’re from or about your family.

Mew: Okay! I was born in Legendary Land 1,549 years ago. I’m the oldest, and the best, of 5 kids (3 sisters and a brother). ummmm... My mom is a teacher in Legendary Land. And daddy is the General of Defense of the army. He’s very important. He gets to boss everyone around. My sisters are boring, and then there’s Two! He’s a genius. The smartest guy in the whole world even. He knows absolutely everything. Then we get to my other family. There’s my wonderful and talented trainer, Kem. She’s the best. A true Pokémon master! That’s why she trains the 2 best Pokémon ever! And then there’s Blossom. She’s like a sister. She’s the best! No one messes with me since I know her. And then there’s Lightning. He’s really smart too. You wouldn’t think so, but he really is. And then there’s my co-host, Thunder! He’s Lightning’s twin brother. He’s great too. Kinda chubby, but that’s okay. And lastly, there’s evil Thunder. He’s okay sometimes. At dinner last night he said something really funny about you. I forget what it was, but that was one of the few times he was nice to me.

Persian: Man! You can talk can’t you!?

Mew: You asked. So what if I can’t contain the wonderfulness of my family.

Lightning: Ummm... Okay. How did you get started on TPAMS?

Mew: We met the network president and he gave us the show. He didn’t expect us to make it, but we did. Then Lightning bought the network to save it from bankruptcy, and we were able to become the biggest talk show ever! Oh yes! I almost forgot. Tonight at 9, you need to watch TLC (The Lightning Channel) to see my best friend Blossom’s (the Charizard) new show! It’s an action show. You’re going to love it! It’s on right after TPAMS, okay? Everyone’s going to watch it, right?

Audience: Yes!

Mew: Good.

Meowth: Can you go 30 seconds without plugging your show or one of your friend’s shows?

Mew: Of course not! I promised her I would. I like to keep my promises.

Lightning: That’s nice. Really. But, what’s going on with you, Mew?

Mew: Well, not a lot. Later today, I get to meet all the Diddy Kong Racers. And I also get to meet some of the girls Tenchi lives with.

Meowth: Really? That’s neat. I think we need a new guest now, but do you have any advice for us?

Mew: Sure! Get out of the talk show business before we swallow you whole. I mean! Contests! Have lots of contests. And specials. People like those. Also, making friends with crabby rich guys is a good idea too.

Lightning: Okay. Thanks. Bye!

Mew: BYE!

(The audience gives her another standing ovation. She blows some kisses, the her and her chair disappear.)

Meowth: Oy! Thunder and Mew Two had better not be that annoying!

Lightning: You said it.

Persian: Next is Thunder.

(He walks on to the stage. The audience jumps to their feet and cheers wildly. He waves and sits down in the guest chair.)

Meowth: Hi Thunder.

Thunder: Hi! It’s so nice to be the guest and not the host for once.

Lightning: I bet. So Thunder, lets start with the questions we asked Mew. Do YOU think we could ever become as big as you are?

Thunder: As much as I hate to say it, I don’t think so. I’m sorry.

Meowth: That’s okay. But why do you think that?

Thunder: Well, Mew and I like to think of our show as the Roman Empire. Very big and very powerful. No one messed with Rome and lived to tell about it, the same goes for us.

Persian: The Roman Empire did fall.

Thunder: There is 1 crucial difference between us and the Roman Empire, we aren’t corrupt. We most certainly aren’t going to blow it like they did.

Meowth: Okay. What did you have to do get the large fanbase you have now?

Thunder: Well, we found out what the people wanted, and tried as hard as we could to give them what they want. What you have to learn if you want to get any where in this business is that you have to give the people what they want because they decide your future.

(The audience cheers.)

Meowth: And what do people want?

Thunder: Creativity, uniqueness, individuality.

(He smiles evilly. The audience cheers)

Thunder: They also like comedy, but also a touch of drama is good. And you can’t forget contests and specials. They love those.

Lightning: So we have to be ourselves, funny, add a little drama, and throw out a special every other week?

Thunder: When you say it like that, It sounds to me like this is too much for you. And if it is, you’re in the wrong business.

Meowth: It’s not too much. He’s just trying to absorb it all.

Thunder: Oh! I almost forgot! They also like to see you talk trash about people! Making Misty cry was great for us. A touch of evil can also make or break the show. You know, I think TPAMS is so big because our audience never knows what’s coming. Suprise must be the biggest thing.

Lightning: Okay. Thanks. That helps a lot.

Meowth: I already like you more than Mew. You treat us like equals.

Thunder: Well, Mew has a major superiority complex, but we love her any way.

(The audience cheers.)

Thunder: You know, it looks like we have a lot of TPAMS fans in the house.

(The audience cheers. )

Thunder: As far as I’m concerned, as long as you’re on TLC, I don’t need to plot against you. In fact, I’ll have no problem with you until you threaten my number 1 spot. But Mew does not feel the same way, so you’ll have to watch her.

Meowth: I bet. Why don’t you tell us about yourself Thunder.

Thunder: Well, There’s not much to tell. I was born in the Viridian Forest, I lived there for awhile, then my trainer caught me, and I’ve been with her ever since.

Lightning: Wow. That’s like a forth of what Mew said.

Thunder: She likes to talk.

Meowth: We noticed. So, what do you like best about being a talk show host?

Thunder: I like getting to meet people. Especially the famous people. It’s really fun to see what they’re like when they aren’t saving the world or what ever.

Lightning: How did you get people to come on your show in the beginning?

Thunder: Well, at first, we had to beg them to come, except Ash, but now since we have forged a name for ourselves, they look for us. It’s great.

Meowth: How do you decide who to interview?

Thunder: Well, at first we just took who ever would come, and we eventually got almost everyone, so now, we take the people our fans like the most, and invite them back. You see, it all comes back to the fans.

(the audience cheers. They like doing that.)

Lightning: Wow. It must have been hard to earn the huge fanbase you have now.

Thunder: Actually, we were an over night success. We were shocked that we got so popular so fast. I guess people know good stuff when they see it. Right?

Audience: YEAH!

Meowth: Gosh. I hope we get to be as big as you, and that we can stay as humble as you are.

Thunder: It’s not hard really. Mew isn’t normally as bad as she’s being today. She just hates our competition.

Lightning: I see.

Meowth: Well Thunder, it was fun, but we have to move on now.

Thunder: Okay. Bye. See you later.

Lightning: Of course. I hope you’ll come again.

(Thunder walks off the stage to a standing ovation.)

Persian: Next is Mew Two.

(The audience had barely sat down before they jumped back up for Mew Two)

Lightning: Hi Mew Two.

Mew Two: Hello Lightning. Hello Meowth. Hello loyal fans.

(The audience cheers)

Lightning: I take it you’re pretty big too even though you’re just the stage manager.

Mew Two: Just the stage manager? Are you kidding? The stage manager is a very important job! And I am more than just the stage manager at any rate. I make public appearances on behalf of Thunder and Mew all the time, and I often do charity work at orphanages. In fact, I promised little Timmy that I would say hi to him on the air some time. Hello Timmy! Hello Timmy’s friends! They’re all at the Greater Viridian City Orphanage. I just felt it necessary to say hello to them. I hope that doesn’t bother you.

Meowth: Of course not. You’d have to be pretty heartless to be mad at you for doing a nice thing.

Lightning: So you do public appearances for TPAMS?

Mew Two: Some of them. Thunder and Mew attend a day care you see, so some times they are unable to make appearances themselves, so I often go speak at malls or what ever.

Meowth: I didn’t know you did charity work.

Mew Two: Yes. I just recently started that. Giovanni bet that I couldn’t do 1 nice thing for someone else, so I went to the orphanage to read stories to the children. I even watched taped episodes of TPAMS with them. They had so much fun and looked so sad when I had to leave, and I didn’t have the heart to ignore them, so I promised to come back, and I continued to do that for the last month or so. Tomorrow, we’re going to play pretend TPAMS. I get to be myself.

Lightning: That’s very nice of you, Mew Two.

Mew Two: I know. I live to help the children. Most children any way. There are some that bother me, but that’s another story.

Meowth: What kinds of stuff do you do on the TPAMS set for the show?

Mew Two: Well, I make sure the guests are ready, I make sure they have what ever they want or need, I stand ready to define any words or clear up any confusion Thunder and Mew might have, and I track down potential guests or guests that are supposed to be here and aren’t.

Lightning: Wow. You have lots of stuff to do. How do you pull it all off?

Mew Two: It’s not that hard for a genius like myself. Also, a lot of it is in the head set. I would be in deep trouble with out it.

Meowth: What’s so special about it?

Mew Two: It allows me to talk to the guests that are in the guest waiting room, Van the gopher, and Tracey. It also allows me to get people on the phone AND hear from the network heads. Thunder and Mew get into a lot of trouble with them.

Lightning: When you aren’t working on TPAMS or volunteering at the orphanage, what do you do?

Mew Two: I continue working on my world domination plans. Now that my death ray is complete, it’s only a matter of time before the world is mine! Bwahahahahahahahaha! Ahem. Excuse me.

Meowth: What’s your favorite part of working on TPAMS?

Mew Two: Talking with the guests before they come out. That is fun. They often have many amusing comments and such they tell me before they come out.

Lightning: Is there anything someone said that sticks out in your mind as extra funny or memorable?

Mew Two: Well, I don’t know. I’ve heard lots of fun stuff. I do like talking to Vegeta. He usually has something very sarcastic to say. And Giovanni. He comments on world news and such, except the way he says it is very sarcastic and funny. I also like talking to Davis and Ken. They’re funny. They like to sit and try to make me laugh. And sometimes they actually can.

Meowth: Do you have any memorable experiences you’ve had when you were talking to a fan or something?

Mew Two: Ah yes. The fans are a excellent group.

(The audience cheers)

Mew Two: The fans are a very funny group. Every time I make a public appearance, they always tell me how I should be in charge and such. I laugh because I could never host a talk show. I’d say that a memorable fan experience was when I was at the National Park in Johto. There was a girl who had written down everything I had ever said on the show. It was her Mew Two quote book that she uses when talking to people. She wanted me to autograph it. So I did. I even added another quote to it.

Lightning: You’re not such a bad guy after all, are you?

Mew Two: Of course not. I don’t think there are many truly evil people out there. I noticed that after appearing on TPAMS, many of my villain acquaintances began to act more like themselves; not evil. Take Giovanni for instance. He has an office with a window now. And I haven’t heard him comment on blowing up the sun in a long time. TPAMS brings out the best in everyone, so even though many people say it’s a very questionable program, I believe it is necessary to humanity. It really does preach morals, you just have to look for them.

Meowth: That’s nice.

Mew Two: Say, have you ever watched TPAMS?

Lightning: I love TPAMS. I’ve watched it since day 1.

Meowth: Me too. That’s why we got into the talk show scene.

Mew Two: I thought so. I don’t think there’s any one out there that’s seen it and doesn’t like it. It may seem dumb at times, but it grows on you for some reason.

Lightning: Yeah. The idiot humor just makes you feel nice.

Mew Two: It does. And I’m glad I get to help bring it to people.

Meowth: Do you believe TPAMS is an unstoppable force?

Mew Two: Well, I believe it is very popular and will remain so for a while, but I also believe that some day, something people like better will come. That’s how show business works.

Lightning: Do you think we could be the show to put it out?

Mew Two: Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell.

Meowth: Gosh. You aren’t nearly as opinionated as Mew or Thunder.

Mew Two: That’s because I use logic. They just want to say they’re the best. We are the best now, but there’s no guarantee that it will last. And besides, it’s just a TV show. A very wonderful TV show, but a TV show none the less.

Lightning: Wow. I feel smarter having talked to you.

Mew Two: You probably aren’t.

Lightning: I know. But I FEEL smarter.

Meowth: Well, we need to get to a new guest now, but do come and visit again.

Mew Two: All right. Good luck with this. Good bye.

(He walks off the stage while the crowd cheers wildly.)

Lightning: Who is next Persian?

Persian: Next is Ash.

(He walks onto the stage)

Ash: HI!

Meowth: Hello. How are you Ash?

Ash: Great! I was so glad I could help you out!

Lightning: Why is that?

Ash: Well, Mew told me that if I helped you, she’d give me a commercial spot during the big TPAMS special they’re planning. It’s gonna be huge!

(Thunder, Mew, and Mew Two run onto the stage)

Mew: ASH! Can we have a quick word?

Lightning: Okay. But quick.

(Mew and Mew Two drag Ash over to the side. Thunder follows. The only thing you can hear is Mew telling Ash that it was supposed to be a suprise and that he wasn’t supposed to mention it to the competition. They then put Ash back in the chair, apologize for the interruption, and walk off the stage)

Meowth: O-Kay.... So Ash, what was that all about?

Ash: I’m not supposed to say...

Lightning: Come on Ash! You can tell us.

Ash: Well, Mew said that I can’t tell anyone, especially not you guys.

Meowth: How about this? We’ll ask you questions, and you tell us if we’re right. That way, you didn’t tell us.

Ash: Okay!

Lightning: This is a big special then?

Ash: Uh-huh.

Meowth: Lots of famous people will be there?

Ash: You know it!

Lightning: It’s going to be different from a regular episode in lots of ways?

Ash: Yeah! There’s going to be-

(He stops cold. Mew Two walks out and picks up the paralyzed Ash.)

Mew Two: That information is classified. I’m afraid you’re going to have to go to a new guest now.

(He teleports away with Ash)

Lightning: Damn! I want to know what’s going on now!

Meowth: Yeah! It must be huge if they won’t let anyone know anything.

Persian: I can look in to it.

Lightning: Yeah! Do that. But get the next guest first.

Persian: Okay. Your next guest is Michelle, better know as Sailor Neptune.

(She walks onto the stage)

Meowth: Hello.

Michelle: Hi! How are you?

Lightning: Good. How are you?

Michelle: I’m fine.

Lightning: So, why don’t you tell us about yourself?

Michelle: Well, I like to paint and play the violin, and I was a sailor scout-

Meowth: What do you mean “was” a sailor scout?

Michelle: I’m never on the show any more. Sailor Neptune just kind of stuck, and I guess I am technically still a sailor scout.

Lightning: Oh! You used to hang out with the sailor scout with the short brown hair that’s mean.

Michelle: Yes! Gosh. This reminds me of the first time I was on The Pikachu and Mew Show.

Meowth: Really?

Michelle: Yeah. They didn’t like Uranus much either.

Lightning: She’s mean. You’re really nice. I like you.

(You hear an explosion come from back stage)

Meowth: *sigh*

Michelle: What was that?

Persian: Ummm... Nothing.

Meowth: ANY WAY, what do you do now that you aren’t on the show?

Michelle: I teach art at an elementary school. I just started doing that. Brick hates me for it.

Lightning: Why is that?

Michelle: He doesn’t like me being so near him. It makes his classmates pick on him.

Meowth: Oh yeah! Didn’t you adopt him or something?

Michelle: Yes.

Lightning: Oh. My mom used to teach too and everyone picked on me. It sucks to have your mom working at school, even if she’s a nice as you are.

Michelle: Awww... You’re so sweet!

(You hear another explosion coming from backstage. After a minute or two, smoke drifts onto the stage)

Michelle: Is everything okay back there?

Persian: Ummm.... no.

(Thunder stick his head out. His cheeks are sparking)

Thunder: Everything is just FINE.

(He goes backstage)

Meowth: He seemed upset.

(Mew Two teleports on to the stage)

Mew Two: Thunder is just a little upset.

(He whispers something to Meowth)

Meowth: Oh!

Mew Two: I’ll try and calm him down.

Lightning: Okay. But what’s his problem?

Mew Two: *sigh* Don’t worry about it.

(He teleports away)

Meowth: Any way, what else is new with you Michelle?

Michelle: Well, I’m going to go shopping for a present for a friend of mine. I’d say who, but it’s a suprise.

Lightning: Oh. Is it their birthday?

Michelle: No. It’s for all their hard work.

Meowth: Oh. Ummmmmm...... I think we have to go to a new guest now.

Michelle: Okay. This was fun! I hope you’ll have me back some time.

Lightning: Of course we will!

Meowth: Yeah. Sure. Bye.

Michelle: Bye!

(She walks of the stage. Lightning does the blank stare into space thing. )

Meowth: Lightning!? What ARE you doing!?

(He just stares)

Meowth: LIGHTNING!?

Lightning: What!?

Meowth: Grrr... Now I know how Mew feels... Who do we have now Persian?

Persian: Next you have Giovanni.

(He walks onto the stage)

Lightning: Hello.

Giovanni: *sigh* Hi.

Meowth: You don’t seem very happy to be here.

Giovanni: Maybe that’s because I don’t want to be here.

Lightning: Why don’t you want to be here?

Giovanni: Because the only talk show I go on is Thunder and Mew’s talk show. I’m only here because my mother made me come.

Meowth: You still take orders from your mother!? You’re like 50!

Giovanni: 1. Yes I still take orders from my mother and 2. I AM NOT 50!

Lightning: How old are you then?

Giovanni: Older than you, but younger than 50.

Meowth: Fine. You’re 49 then.

Giovanni: I’ll have you know that I’m not even 40 yet.

Lightning: You lie.

Giovanni: Even ask my mother. I am not yet 40.

Meowth: Really?

Giovanni: Yes!

Meowth: Wow. You’re not very old then, unless you’re 39.

Giovanni: Lower.

Meowth: 38?

Giovanni: Lower.

Lightning: 36?

Giovanni: Lower.

Meowth: You are so lying.

Giovanni: I am not! I’m 35.

Lightning: Really?

Giovanni: YES!

Meowth: Wow. I never would have guessed.

Giovanni: That’s because you’re a moron.

Lightning: Why are you so negative?

Giovanni: Grrrr.. I know I’ve answered that question before! But that was on TPAMS. I guess I’ll answer it just this once for this show. I said in episode 2 of The Pikachu and Mew Show:

Happiness is stupid. I see no need for it, I merely act like all people should. Happiness and all that optimistic thinking is a waste of time and energy. The world would be much better off if everyone thought like me. Optimistic people are stupid. They sit around every day trying to see the good in everything. They get so wrapped up in seeing good, they stop seeing the bad in things. Then the evil and negative stuff comes out and the happy people say “that guy might have killed 8 people, but it was a cry for help” .

Does that explain everything or should I be more specific?

Meowth: That’s good. Thanks.

Lightning: Hmmm.. Why do you act so mean if you’re really such a nice guy?

Giovanni: Who said I’m really a nice guy?

Meowth: Mew Two.

Lightning: And we saw the episode of TPAMS where they showed stuff that got edited out and you were nice in them.

Giovanni: I was not.

Meowth: You were too! We even have a clip!

Persian: Did Thunder or Mew say you could use it?

(Thunder sticks his head out)

Thunder: Go ahead.

(He goes back stage)

Meowth: There. Play it now!

Giovanni: That sounded like something Mew would say.

Lightning: Shhh! It’s starting.

(The screen changes to the clip)

(You see the stage. Thunder, Mew, and Giovanni are on stage.)

Mew: So Giovanni, do you like puppies, kittens, and cute little baby animals?

Giovanni: Yes. Wait. You’re only taping this right?

Thunder: Yeah, but I think we’re going to have to play that.

Giovanni: No. NO! I hate those cute things. Let me try again.

Mew: Do you like baby goats Giovanni? I hear you do.

Giovanni: Shut up! I only like baby sheep.

(they all start laughing. ALL of them)

Giovanni: I’m just kidding. really.

Thunder: Are you sure you’re really Giovanni and not someone he hired to trick us?

Giovanni: Why would you ask that?

Mew: You aren’t being mean and evil.

Giovanni: I’m not? I’m sorry. Should I try harder?

Thunder: Only if you don’t want people to know how nice you really are.

Giovanni: Ok. Ok. How’s this. You two are by far THE most irritating, stupid, and moronic beings I have EVER met.

Thunder: Bingo.

(End clip)

Giovanni: I wasn’t feeling well that day. And any way, other clips from that very episode would verify my mean evilness. Take this one for instance.

(The screen changes to another clip)

(You see the guest waiting room. Scattered all over are the gym leaders and the elite four. We’re focused on a table where Giovanni, Lance, Loreli, Bruno, Sabrina, Erika, Lt. Surge, and Blossom the Charizard are playing cards. BS to be specific.)

Erika: 2 2s.

Giovanni: BS.

Erika: Are you sure?

Giovanni: No. I just like the phrase “BS” so I say it often. Of course I mean it you grass Pokémon training moron.

Loreli: You don’t have to be so mean Giovanni.

Giovanni: And you don’t have to be such a moron and yet you do it any way.

Lance: ANY WAY, let’s see the cards Erika.

(She turns them over. It’s a 5 and a 6)

Giovanni: See. I have a talent of telling when people are lying to me.

Blossom: then why didn’t you catch me?

Giovanni: Because your trainer trained you in such a manner that I ignore you as much as possible.

Blossom: I heard this song once, and the chorus is “ Shut the f*** up” . That’s what I have to say to you Giovanni.

Bruno: Why do you bicker so? You are making it impossible to finish the game.

Lt. Surge: Yeah. Shut up and lay the cards Giovanni.

Giovanni: Fine. 1 3. Does anyone wish to challenge me?

(No one responds.)

Giovanni: You are all much more intelligent then I gave you credit for. Good job.

Blossom: 1 4. Go Sabrina.

Sabrina: 2 5s.

Giovanni: She’s lying.

Everyone at the table except Giovanni: Giovanni!

Giovanni: What? The game is called BS. You are supposed to call a person out when you know they’re lying and SHE is lying.

Sabrina: You dare question a psychic?

Giovanni: Yes.

(She turns the cards.)

Sabrina: Damn. He is correct. It’s a Queen and an ace.

Giovanni: I told you. I don’t even know why you bothered to challenge me.

Lt. Surge: So you can play a stupid card game. So what? You don’t have any other talents so shut up already.

Giovanni: I have many talents! I am the leader of a very successful world wide crime syndicate.

Blossom: You inherited it from your mom.

Giovanni: Fine. Ummmmm... I’m the leader of the most difficult gym.

Lance: You’re never there.

Giovanni: Fine. Ummm..... I successfully cloned a Pokémon.

Sabrina: 1. You didn’t do the cloning and 2. You can’t even control it.

Bruno: And to make things worse for you, a 15 year old girl CAN control it.

Giovanni: Damn! Ummmm....... I’m good at being evil.

Loreli: I’ll buy that.

(Everyone else agrees)

Lt. Surge: fine. You have 2 talents.

Giovanni: I still think the world wide crime syndicate should count.

Erika: Your mom gave it to you.

Giovanni: That was a long time ago! And it still exists! So I MUST be doing a good job.

Bruno: I guess that makes sense.

(once again, the others agree)

Giovanni: And I'm good at Pokémon Puzzle League.

Loreli: I’m better.

Bruno: I'm best.

Giovanni: If you say so.

Lance: Can we finish the game please!?

Giovanni: We are having an argument dragon boy! Wait.

Lance: But we aren’t here to bicker like you are.

Giovanni: We aren’t here to play BS either.

(Everyone is silent)

Giovanni: I rest my case.

(end clip)

Meowth: That doesn’t prove you’re evil. It just proves that you’re a jerk.

Giovanni: If I’m a jerk then I’m not a nice guy then, now am I? I rest my case.

Lightning: He got you there.

Giovanni: Of course I did.

Meowth: Then why are you so nice sometimes?

Giovanni: I’m not PURE evil. I try to be, but I just can’t be that evil.

Meowth: I still think you’re nice.

Giovanni: There’s got to be a hundred TPAMS scenes that would prove my evilness.

Meowth: I don’t buy it.

Giovanni: Is that a challenge?

Meowth: Yeah.

Giovanni: Okay. I’ll be back.

(He walks back stage. He returns carrying a huge box.)

Giovanni: Okay. I’m going to take every evil thing I’ve said from my first appearance and I won’t stop until you see things my way.

Meowth: But that’ll take forever. Just pick some of the more evil ones.

Giovanni: Fine. I’ll take the ones that are the most mean and/or evil.

“I am trying to teach you little girl, that kindness gets you nowhere.”

“You are delusional and stupid. Scary combination.”

“If you don’t let me leave I'm going to become a murderer.”

“If that little jerk throws up in here, I’ll kill all three of you.”

“Hmmm.... Well I think it sucks to be you.”

“Quit hurting my feelings Mew Two or I’ll have to tell my mother. (Sarcasm)”

“I’m not the idiot you thought I was.”

“Not if you value your life.”

“Fine. But if you say “is that your final answer?” while I'm up here I WILL hurt you. Do you know how irritating that is? It makes me want to kill people.”

“Do you have a death wish?”

“That’s too bad. Your death would be much less painful if you wanted to die.”

“I’m not going to hurt him mother. Hit man Joey will.”

“Yes. And I CAN hire a hit man.”

“And you could shut up.”

“I will only give options if you need to poll the audience because, with the exception of mother, they look pretty stupid.”

“Very good. Maybe you do have a brain.”

“Yes Mew Two. A rated “e” fanfiction would have a question involving Vodka.(sarcasm)”

“My next victim will be..... “

“*Sigh* I’m not even going to say anything. “

“Mew, do you have a drug addiction?”

“Shut up.”

“You thought you were safe didn’t you?”

“Silence!”

“HA! I told you I’d make you say it!”

“Rat beast?”

“Are you aware of the fact that you’re a moron?”

“Stop now!”

“Ok you excessively happy moron. “

“When I go home, I WILL make sure someone dies. “

“He’s IRRITATING!”

“He’s too damn happy. It makes me sick.”

“No I won’t. I’ll just have you eliminated.”

“You won’t think you're so funny when I have you killed.”

“You’ll die yet.”

“You’re annoying, moronic, AND evil.”

That’s a good list for now.

Meowth: Hmmm.. That is a lot of mean and evil stuff...

Giovanni: Of course it is. I am very mean and evil you know.

Persian: But Thunder and Mew have all the scenes were you’re nice edited out. Your nice side is never shown on the air, so using quotes from there aren’t accurate.

Meowth: Yeah!

Giovanni: Well, unless you hide cameras all over and catch me when I don’t know you’re there, you’ll never see me be nice so I can say I’m evil. So there.

Lightning: Fine. I quit. We need to get anew guest out now.

Giovanni: Good. Your stupidity is annoying me.

(He walks off the stage)

Meowth: That was weird.

Lightning: I know. Who’s next?

Persian: Next is Goku.

(He walks on to the stage)

Goku: Hi!

Meowth: Hello.

Lightning: Hi. How are you?

Goku: I’m good. What about you?

Lightning: We’re good too. So, tell us about yourself Goku.

Goku: Well, I’m a Z fighter AND master Pokémon trainer. I have 2 Pokémon! Bunny the Umbreon and Bellossom.

Meowth: That’s nice.

Lightning: What’s going on with your show?

Goku: Well, I’m dead and after you watch me compete in a fighting tournament in the afterlife, we get to see my son go to high school.

Meowth: I saw one of those. It was pretty funny.

Goku: They were so mean. If I didn’t know he could handle himself I would have worried about him.

Lightning: You weren’t worried?

Goku: Of course not. He’s a tough kid. He can handle what ever they throw at him.

Meowth: Yeah, you’re right.

Lightning: So, what do you do while you aren’t on the show?

Goku: I train Bunny and Daisy (Bellossom). They’re both really strong now.

Meowth: That’s nice. Is that all you do?

Goku: Pretty much. I don’t have a whole lot to do. My neighborhood is a really boring one.

Lightning: Isn’t it a small house in the mountains that has no neighbors for miles.

Goku: Yep.

Meowth: I’d go crazy.

Goku: I can teleport anywhere. It’s not so bad.

Lightning: Is that how you visit Vegeta?

Goku: He lives in the city which is 500 miles from where I live. So I either teleport or take Nimbus.

Meowth: Good. At least you can get out of the mountains easily.

Goku: Yeah.

(They sit in silence for a minute. Not good for ratings, let me tell you. I’m the TPAMS narrator if you didn’t notice. My opinions are extremely biased.)

Meowth: Narrator!

(Sorry. I guess. Any way, the silence is broken when Goku starts humming something and dancing.)

Lightning: Uhhh.... What are you doing?

Goku: Sorry. I just like that song.

Meowth: What song was that?

Goku: Hit em up style. It’s a fun one.

Meowth: *sigh*

Lightning: Ummmm.... I think we need a new guest now.

Goku: Okay. Bye!

(He walks off the stage)

Persian: Your final guest for today is Davis.

(He dances onto the stage, as usual)

Davis: Hi!

Meowth: Hello.

Lightning: Whatcha listenin’ to?

Davis: Jay-Z.

Lightning: Oh. Great. Well, how are you?

Davis: Good. You?

Meowth: We’re fine. So Davis, tell us about what it was like to be a Digidestened.

Davis: It was fun. I liked saving the world. And I got to hang out with lots of really cool people.

Lightning: Who’s the coolest person you got to hang out with?

Davis: “H to the izzo. V to the izzay” Well..... The coolest person I ever met is probably.. Well.... He’s the only person in the world that’s cooler than Tai. It’s Tenchi!

Meowth: Tenchi?

Davis: Yeah! He’s the greatest! He takes us places and is really funny. It’s fun to watch him do something stupid so you can laugh at him.

Lightning: Well, what’s the-

(Mew walks on to the stage)

Meowth: What are you doing!?

Mew: Cutting you off. You’re boring me. And besides, we need to hype our show now!

(Thunder and Mew Two walk on to the stage)

Mew Two: Now Mew, they are in the middle of an interview-

Mew: An interview that’s going nowhere!

Thunder: *sigh* Sorry Lightning and Meowth. The part of the show you did go was pretty good for a first episode.

Meowth and Lightning: Thanks!

Mew: ANY WAY, tomorrow on The Pikachu and Mew Show, we are having a fun new special AND announcing a big suprise!

Thunder: This suprise is so big, only 10 people in the whole world know it!

Mew: It’s something you do not want to miss!

Mew Two: As for the special, it’s the hidden camera special. You knew it was coming. Just admit it.

Thunder: The basic plot is, you get to see how your favorite guests act when they aren’t on camera.

Mew: You thought you were seeing their true selves on TPAMS, didn’t you? Silly fans! Silly but wonderful fans!

Mew Two: You haven’t seen anything yet. What happened was we took hidden cameras with us when we went to hang out with the guests. We’re going to show you the tapes so you can see what a star acts like at home.

Thunder: Some of these stars include: Sailor Neptune, Giovanni, Madison, Davis and Ken, Goku and Vegeta, and Tai and Matt!

Mew: We might add some in. We haven’t decided yet.

Mew Two: Now remember:

1. Tomorrow is the Hidden Camera Special

2. We’re announcing a big, big, BIG suprise.

Don’t miss it. And that’s an order.

Mew: Uh-huh!

Thunder: Word!

Mew, Thunder, and Mew Two: BYE!

(They walk off the stage)

Lightning: I guess that wraps up our first episode of The Lightning and Meowth Show.

Meowth: We hope you’ll watch again next week. We aren’t sure what’s on yet, but we’ll let you know as soon as we find out.

Lightning and Meowth: BYE!

That’s it for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show AND The Lightning and Meowth Show. Tune in to TPAMS tomorrow to see an all new episode: The Hidden Camera Special. Tune in to TLAMS next week (if it isn’t canceled) to see some stuff that’s probably lame. I only ask you to watch because I’m getting paid to. I wouldn’t watch TLAMS if I wasn’t being forced to narrate it.

Mew: Good job Narrator! You’re getting a raise!

YES! Good night everyone!