Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 32 of TPAMS! The World Martial Arts Tournament Special!

Mew: When people ask us why our show is so great, I tell them that it’s because we do such unique and way out there things, like today’s special.

Thunder: You are so right, Mew! Today we are broadcasting live from the state of the art Martial Arts Arena on Machoke Island. I found out a few minutes ago that it’s called “Machoke Stadium”. Any how, Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, Hercule, Videl, Piccolo, Shin (the Supreme Kai if you forgot), Number 18, little Trunks, Goten, future Trunks, Chi Chi, Dabura, Blossom (the Charizard), Whitefire, and Zarbon will be competing for the grand prize of a complete set of TPAMS tapes, TPAMS action figures, and the chance to meet their hero (who ever that is as long as they’re alive).

Mew: But the big reason they’re fighting is to amuse you, the fans.

Thunder: The battle arrangements have been made, and now we can meet the announcer!

Mew: Here he is!

Announcer: Hello and welcome to The Pikachu and Mew Show Martial Arts Tournament! We have 16 brave fighters ready to try their luck at this new tournament! The first battle will be between Dabura and Zarbon! Fighters, please enter the ring!

(Technically, it’s not a ring. For those of you that aren’t familiar with DBZ (Dragonball Z) the ring is actually a big cement square.)

Mew: Right narrator. You can win the fight 3 ways: 1. Knocking your opponent out of the ring and making them land out of the ring. 2. Knocking your opponent out for a count to 10. 3. Killing your opponent.

Thunder: Normally, if you kill your opponent, you’re disqualified. However, since Mew and I are so heartless, if you kill your opponent, you win and we’ll send a card and fruit basket to the family.

(Right. Any way, Zarbon and Dabura enter the ring.)

Mew: Thunder and I will provide post-match commentary. Well, we’re ready. Let’s go!

(Now we see the ring more closely. Dabura is a big, red, devil looking character. Zarbon is a pale, green guy with long dark green hair (that’s why Mew says he’s pretty.) The announcer is standing in between them. he has tall, blonde hair and sunglasses. He’s telling the contestants the rules.)

Announcer: Do you understand?

Dabura: So I can kill him?

Announcer: Yes. But we don’t promote the intentional killing of your opponents.

Dabura: Don’t worry. It will be a tragic accident.

(He smiles evilly.)

Zarbon: I’m shaking. (sarcasm.)

Vegeta: (He’s on the side line with Goku) (To Goku) Who do you think will win?

Goku: (To Vegeta) Dabura.

Vegeta: (To Goku) I agree. Zarbon is a weakling.

Zarbon: I heard that!

Vegeta: Good! I should hope someone is telling you the truth!

Announcer: (walking out of the ring) Okay! Fighters! Are you ready!?

Zarbon and Dabura: Yes!

Announcer: Okay! You may begin!

*Since you’re reading and you can’t see, this’ll be hard, but I’m going to try really hard to make this work. I’ll use the announcer to tell you what’s going on, ok? Ok!*

Announcer: Okay! The fighters are off! Dabura starts by charging Zarbon! OH! He missed! Zarbon kicks him down from behind! Dabura is down! Wait! He’s getting up! Can you believe it folks! He’s smiling! Dabura is smiling! He walks towards Zarbon! He stopped! Now that’s odd... He spit at Zarbon. Oh my! Zarbon appears to be turning to stone! He is! Zarbon has turned to stone! This is new... What do I do?

Dabura: Why don’t you count?

Announcer: Ummmmm.... Okay... 1...... 2...... 3...... 4...... 5...... 6...... 7...... 8...... 9...... 10! Dabura is the winner!

(No one cheers. Dabura walks out of the ring with an evil smile on his face.)

Mew: And now for our commentary!

Thunder: Let me start by saying, that was dirty.

Mew: I agree. Turning Zarbon to stone was very low.

Mew Two: I KNOW I told him not to do that. Oh well. I guess Zarbon never stood a chance.

Mew: He did great when he beat up on Dabura when his back was turned.

Thunder: That was such a short fight though. It’s hard to really talk about.

Mew: Oh well! Lets go down to Lightning who’s at ringside with Dabura! Lightning...

(The screen cuts to Lightning and Dabura)

Lightning: Hi guys! I’m here with Dabura, the winner. Now Dabura, don’t you think winning by turning your opponent to stone is kinda low?

Dabura: He should learn to run when people spit at him.

Lightning: Why does your spit turn people to stone?

Dabura: I’m not exactly sure. I usually tell people that it’s a result of chewing on stones.

Lightning: You chew stones?

Dabura: Well, I used to eat them when I was little. They taste so good... And it took my mother for ever to make dinner. I swear she had to make a 20 course meal every day! Growing demon kings needs lots to eat in a timely manner. And rocks taste good. I especially like red stones. They taste like chicken.

Lightning: Chicken? That’s.... nice.... I don’t know if eating rocks will give you that kind of power, though.

Dabura: Do YOU have any better suggestions?

Lightning: No but-

Dabura: Okay then. I’m going to have a snack now.

(He pulls out a bag of crushed rocks. They’re blue in color. He holds a handful out towards Lightning.)

Dabura: My mother taught me manners, so I must offer you some. Would you like to try some?

Lightning: Ummmm... I don’t think eating those is very good for your teeth...

Dabura: These ones are small. My teeth can handle them fine. YOU can just swallow it whole. Please have at least 1. They’re really good...

Lightning: Uhhhhhh... Okay.

(He takes a small pebble from Dabura. He puts it in his mouth. He holds it there for a minute, then he swallows it.)

Dabura: Well....

Lightning: Ummmm... Hey... That was kinda good... Those aren’t earth rocks are they?

Dabura: Of course not! Earth rocks have too many calories. These are from my home planet.

Lightning: Can I have some more?

Dabura: Sure!

Lightning: Yes! Okay! Back to you, Mew!

(Dabura and Lightning walk away. The screen cuts back to Mew)

Mew: Uhhhhh... That was weird...

Thunder: Tell me about it. Any way, the fighters for the next battle are already in the ring. Lets join them.

(The screen cuts to the ring. Future Trunks and Whitefire are standing next to the announcer who is telling them the rules.)

Announcer: Does everyone understand?

Whitefire: Can I eat him if I kill him?

(The announcer and Trunks just look at him)

Announcer: I... really don’t think so... His family might like to bury the remains....

Whitefire: Damn! Oh well. I don’t normally eat people. I just thought I’d ask.

Future Trunks: You’re scary and disgusting. If you try to eat me I swear I will tear your big, dragon self into about 30 pieces. Maybe 31. You’re kinda big.

Whitefire: You talk a lot about what you don’t know, human. We’ll just see who tears up who.

Announcer: It sounds like you’re ready to begin-

Future Trunks: Wait! We can’t use weapons, right?

Announcer: That is correct.

Future Trunks: Okay. I’m ready now.

Announcer: (walking out of the ring) Okay. Ready.... You may begin!

Whitefire: I’ll try not to tear you into too many pieces. I want your family to be able to recognize your corpse.

Future Trunks: You won’t be tearing any one into any thing.

Announcer: And they’re off! Whitefire is swiping at Trunks with his sharp claws, but he’s way too slow to keep up! Wait! Now Trunks is attacking! He’s really pounding Whitefire! OH! Whitefire is out of the ring! WAIT! He’s flying back! He’s using his big dragon like wings to fly back in! Now he’s attacking from the air! OH! He misses! Oh! What’s this? It looks like trunks is using a special attack on Whitefire. It hits! Whitefire appears to be unharmed! He’s opening his large, dragon like mouth and taking in lots of air! Oh my! He’s breathing fire! He’s breathing fire at Trunks!

Future Trunks: Hey! That’s not fair!

Whitefire: It’s not a picnic either.

Announcer: Whitefire is chasing Trunks around the ring and breathing fire at him! OH! What now? Trunks has disappeared! He is gone! Where did he go?

Whitefire: Human boy! Where are you!? I haven’t even shown you my earthquake attack yet!

(Everyone looks around for future Trunks.)

Announcer: Wait! Look in the sky everyone! It’s a fireball!

(A huge fireball is flying down into the ring)

Announcer: Oh no! It hit! It hit Whitefire! As soon as the smoke clears, we’ll see if he’s all right!

(The smoke slowly clears out. Standing next to Whitefire’s body is future Trunks.)

Announcer: Oh my! I suppose I should count! 1...... 2...... 3...... 4...... 5......

(Whitefire twitches. Then he stops moving)

Announcer: 6...... 7...... 8...... 9......

(He twitches again. Then he stops moving)

Announcer: 10! Future Trunks is the winner!

Future Trunks: That’s what he gets for talking about eating me.

(Everyone cheers. The screen cuts to Mew, Mew Two, and Thunder)

Thunder: Now THAT was good.

Mew: I was so scared the Whitefire was going to win for a minute there.

Mew Two: I like the teleport trick Trunks did. That was very clever of him.

Thunder: Yeah. Teleporting way up and sending down a huge fireball was a great idea.

Mew: That was a good fight. Lets go down to Lightning who is with future Trunks at ringside.

(The screen cuts to future Trunks and Lightning)

Lightning: Hey guys! I’m here with round 2’s big winner, Future Trunks! Good job, dude. We all wanted Whitefire to lose and you didn’t disappoint us. You didn’t even need to go super saiyen.

Future Trunks: It was easy. He was a big, slow dragon thing. Even at my normal power he’s was way too slow.

Lightning: You sounded worried when he started breathing fire.

Future Trunks: I was. I didn’t see that coming and I wasn’t sure what to do. Then I remembered that I could use teleportation to go above the ring and fight fire with fire.

Lightning: That was a great fight! Good job. how did you know the fireball would work?

Future Trunks: I didn’t. It was an extremely lucky guess.

Lightning: Well, good guessing. Who taught you that fireball attack?

Future Trunks: I just picked it up when I was really little. Other Trunks here probably already knows how to do it.

Lightning: What will you do if you have to fight him?

Future Trunks: I don’t know. I hope I don’t have to. It’d be hard enough to beat myself up, especially when it’s my younger self. I’d feel so guilty.

Lightning: Do you think you’d win?

Future Trunks: I KNOW I’d win. 8 year old me doesn’t stand a chance against me now. Errr... In the future.. Wait! He can’t beat me!

Lightning: Okay... Say, do you want to try some of these rocks Dabura gave me? They rock! No pun intended.

Future Trunks: Why are you eating rocks? That can’t be healthy.

Lightning: They are so good! Just try one!

Future Trunks: Maybe after I’m out of the tournament... Or after I win it.

Lightning: Okay. I’m going to hold you up to that.

Future Trunks: I’m sure you will.

Lightning: I will. Okay! Back to you, Mew!

(The screen cuts to Mew)

Mew: The next fighters are entering the ring. Lets get down there to the action!

(The screen cuts to the ring. With the announcer in the ring is Chi Chi and Hercule.)

Announcer: Okay! Now that we know the rules, are there any questions?

Hercule: Since we all know I’m going to win, can you just declare me the winner now?

Chi Chi: What’s the matter? Are you afraid you’re going to lose?

Hercule: Of course not! I just don’t want to hurt you too bad! It might traumatize your kids or something!

Chi Chi: Riiiiight. Lets get this over with!

Announcer: Okay. (walking out of the ring) Are you ready!? Okay! You may begin!

(They both just stand there for a minute.)

Announcer: Okay! You can go!

Hercule: I’m waiting for her to go.

Chi Chi: Fine.

Announcer: Okay! Chi Chi is attacking the great Hercule! And he’s running away? Ummmm... This is strange...

(They run around the ring for awhile. Then Hercule stops in a corner)

Announcer: Okay! Hercule has stopped running! Chi Chi pushed him! He’s falling! Yes! He lands out of the ring! HE LANDS OUT OF THE RING!? It’s over! Chi Chi has won!

Chi Chi: That’s it? THAT’S IT!? I want to fight a dragon or something! That was way to easy!

(The screen cuts to Mew and friends in the booth)

Mew: I’m not even going to say anything.

Thunder: Same.

Mew Two: I will! That was depressing. I expected more out of Hercule for some reason.

Mew: Well, Lightning is with Hercule at ringside. Lets find out what the hell happened.

(The screen cuts to Lightning.)

Lightning: Okay! Here I am with the loser, Hercule. Now Hercule, what happened out there?

Hercule: I couldn’t beat her up. I was taught not to fight with girls, so I didn’t. I let her win.

Lightning: Are you sure it’s not that you just suck? You are bleeding after all.

Hercule: I’m positive that’s not the reason! I let her push me out! I don’t need any more titles any way!

Lightning: Riiiight.... Get away now.

(He pushes Hercule away. Then he reaches over and pulls a new person in front of the camera. It’s Chi Chi.)

Lightning: Great job, Chi Chi!

Chi Chi: Thanks! That was really easy, though.

Lightning: Was it?

Chi Chi: Yeah. I knew he sucked big time, but I didn’t expect him to lose after 1 hit!

Lightning: Do you think he let you win?

Chi Chi: Hell no! When I was chasing him around he was saying “Please don’t hurt me!”.

Lightning: I knew he lost because he sucked! Well, good job. Back to you, Mew!

(The screen cuts to Mew)

Mew: That match made me sad.

Thunder: It was very depressing.

Mew Two: I agree. Oh well. The contestants for the next battle are entering the ring.

(The screen cuts to the ring. In the ring with the announcer is Blossom and Videl.)

Announcer: Do you both understand?

Blossom: Yep!

Videl: Aren’t you going to ask if you can eat me?

Blossom: Eeewww no! I’m a vegetarian. I would never eat a human any way. You’re too stringy and gross.

Videl: Does your brother really eat people?

Blossom: He did once at his friend’s house. Our parents don’t usually let us eat humans. It’s bad for the Charizard image. People are scared enough of us as it is.

Videl: So you won’t eat me?

Blossom: NO!

Videl: Okay. I’m ready!

Announcer: (Walking out of the ring) Okay then! You may begin!

Blossom: Finally.

Announcer: Okay! They’re off! Videl is throwing punch after punch at Blossom! But Blossom isn’t even feeling them!

(Blossom just sits there and lets Videl punch and kick her. )

Hercule: (from the stands) That’s it Videl! Show that dragon who’s boss!

Announcer: Oh no! Blossom just threw Videl to the side like a dirty towel!

Blossom: I AM NOT A DRAGON! It would be correct to call me a lizard but I AM NOT A DRAGON! Just because I look like a dragon and breathe fire like a dragon doesn’t mean I’m a dragon! I am a Charizard! Charizards and dragons are very different! For one thing, dragons are big and ugly and they smell bad! Charizards are smaller, faster, and they smell very nice! The next person to call me or my brother a dragon will be very unhappy DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?

(Everyone looks at her.)

Blossom: Okay then.

Videl: Can we finish our fight?

Blossom: Yes.

Announcer: Okay! They’re off again! And again Videl takes an early lead! She’s punching and punching and- OH! Blossom knocks her away with her big tail! But Videl is getting up! She’s charging Blossom! Blossom picks her up and tosses her out of the ring! Oh my! Videl has taken flight! She flew back into the ring!

Blossom: Look at that. The little human thinks she can fly! That is just the neatest thing!

Videl: Why don’t you come and get me Dragon Girl!

Blossom: Do you want me to kill you?

Videl: You can’t do it if I’m up here unless you come and get me!

Blossom: Oh yeah? Well then, WHAT’S THIS!?

Announcer: Oh no! Blossom has just spit a huge fireball out at Videl! It hit! It hit Videl! Videl has fallen down in the ring! But she’s getting up! She’s getting up!

Videl: Not bad. Not bad at all, Dragon Girl.

Blossom: You know. Mew Two was right! You humans ARE dumb. I asked you very politely not to call me a dragon and yet you continue to do it.

Videl: I’m trying to make you mad so you fight me at your full power.

Blossom: You want me to kill you? Fine.

Announcer: Blossom charges Videl! Now she’s picking her [Videl] up! Oh no! It looks like she’s going to perform the dreaded seismic toss! She is! She’s carrying Videl into the air! Now she’s slamming her down! Oh no! Videl landed hard! She’s not moving! Videl isn’t moving!

Blossom: The count.....

Announcer: Oh yeah! 1...... 2...... 3...... 4...... 5...... 6..... 7...... 8...... 9...... She’s getting up! Videl is getting up!

Videl: Is that all you’ve got?

Blossom: Of course not.

Announcer: Oh no! Blossom used her fly attack on Videl! Videl is hit hard! She’s down once again! 1...... 2..... 3...... 4...... 5...... 6...... 7...... 8...... 9...... She’s up again!

Blossom: Damn it! Stay...... DOWN!

Announcer: Blossom has just used her strongest attack! Fire Blast! I don’t know if Videl can take that! We’ll know as soon as the smoke clears....

(The smoke slowly clears. Videl is standing, but barely.)

Blossom: Okay! I have had more then enough! I’m going to finish this!

Announcer: Now she’s using her earthquake attack!

(The ground splits open and Videl falls into the crack.)

Announcer: Oh no! Videl has fallen into the earthquake attack!

Blossom: (Flying over to the place where Videl fell in) I guess that’s it.

(A huge energy ball flies out at her. It narrowly misses her. But she takes a hit from Videl who had been flying out behind it)

Blossom: Why won’t you die!?

Videl: I’m not going to lose to some stupid, smelly, dragon girl!

(Blossom lands on the ground and starts shaking. )

Announcer: Oh no! what’s this? Blossom is shaking violently! I wonder if she’s all right!

Blossom: I HAVE HAD IT! I can almost handle being called a dragon, BUT YOU CALLED ME A STUPID SMELLY DRAGON GIRL! NOW I DON’T STOP TILL YOU’RE IN PIECES!

Announcer: Oh no! Blossom is after Videl again! She’s got her! Videl can’t escape!

Hercule: Oh no! Videl! Mouse guy! What is she doing to my Videl!?

Lightning: Videl pushed her to far. Blossom is using her rage attack. When a Pokémon uses rage, it doesn’t stop until it’s opponent is dead.

Hercule: Oh no! Videl!

Announcer: Blossom is really letting lose on Videl! I don’t even think poor Videl is conscious any more! She’s really hitting hard!

(Blossom beats on Videl for about 5 minutes before anyone interferes.)

Whitefire: (Landing in the ring) That’s enough, Blossom.

Blossom: (Throwing down Videl’s lifeless body) But Whitefire! You would have done the same thing if she made you mad!

Whitefire: Yes. But YOU don’t do things like that. Mom and dad made me promise to keep an eye on you. They didn’t want you losing your temper on a human. You know as well as I do you can’t fully control your power when you get mad.

Blossom: But she said I smelled!

Whitefire: You don’t smell. Just kick her out of the ring and end it.

Blossom: But I don’t want to!

Whitefire: Blossom...

Blossom: Grrrrr.... (Kicking Videl’s body out of the ring) Fine!

Announcer: It’s over! Videl has landed out of the ring! And she might be dead!

Whitefire: Good girl. Come on now.

(The screen cuts to Mew and the others in the booth.)

Mew: I knew Blossom could lose here temper, but wow.

Thunder: I didn’t even know she knew rage.

Mew Two: I’ve seen her use it before. Remember when Kang started showing up at your daycare in a wheelchair?

Mew: Yeah.

Mew Two: That’s because he told Blossom she looked like dog poop and smelled even worse.

Thunder: Why is she so sensitive about how she smells?

Mew: Yeah. She does get really mad if you say she stinks.

Mew Two: Everyone has their thing that just pisses them off. Her’s is her odor.

Mew: Well, Lightning is down at ringside with her.

(The screen cuts to Lightning at ringside. He’s with Blossom and Whitefire)

Lightning: Wow, Blossom. You really let Videl have it.

Blossom: You can call me any insult you can think of, but when you call me a smelly dragon, you crossed the line and you need to die.

Lightning: Why did you stop her, Whitefire?

Whitefire: My parents asked me to stop her if she got to angry. They didn’t want her to kill any one.

Lightning: Does she have a history of killing people when she gets mad?

Whitefire: No, she just hurt them really badly. Humans aren’t half as strong as most Pokémon, so they knew if she got mad at a human, she’d kill them. And they didn’t want that.

Blossom: I was ready to kill her. Stupid witch....

Lightning: Have you ever killed any humans?

Whitefire: No. I don’t tend to lose my temper either. That’s why I never use rage.

Lightning: But Blossom does?

Whitefire: Yeah. She’s been like this her whole life. She’s getting better, but sometimes she loses it and hurts people.

Blossom: I’m so mad at you for making me stop.

Whitefire: Mom and dad asked me to. They knew I was the only one here that’d be strong enough to stop you if you didn’t listen.

Blossom: I’m stronger than you! I’m stronger then everyone here! I could take you all on! YEAH! None of you stand a chance against me! No you don’t! Hahahahahaha!

Lightning: Does this happen when she loses her temper too?

Whitefire: Yes. She just needs to lie down for awhile. Then she be the same old Blossom we all know and like.

Lightning: Okay! Back to you, Mew!

(The screen cuts to Mew.)

Mew: I hope Blossom will be okay... I’ve never seen her like this before.

Mew Two: I have. Her brother is right. After she takes a nap she’ll be fine.

Mew: Okay. The next match is about to begin. Lets get down to the ring.

(The screen cuts to the ring. With the announcer is the next contestants. They are Goten and little Trunks)

Announcer: You got all that, boys?

Little Trunks: I have just one question.

Announcer: Yes?

Little Trunks: Why do you always make me and Goten fight!? I WANT TO FIGHT A GROWNUP!

Announcer: That’s how the draw went. I’m sorry.

Goten: I don’t mind!

Announcer: (walking out of the ring) Are you ready?

Goten and Little Trunks: (turning Super Saiyen) Yes!

Announcer: Okay. You may begin!

Little Trunks: (to Goten) Hey Goten! I have a deal for you.

Goten: (to Little Trunks) What is it?

Little Trunks: (to Goten) I’ll let you win if you promise to help me with something.

Goten: (to Little Trunks) What?

Little Trunks: (to Goten) I can’t tell you yet. You just have to trust me. Will you do it?

Goten: Ummmmm.... Okay!

Little Trunks: Okay. Come and get me!

Announcer: There they go! Goten is pounding Trunks! Oh my! Trunks is out of the ring! He lands out of the ring! It’s over!

(Over on the side line...)

Future Trunks: Already!? No way!

Lightning: What happened?

Future Trunks: I dunno. I should have been able to win that. Goten was never stronger than me...

(Up in the booth...)

Mew: What is going on today!? Why are so many fights ending so quickly!?

Mew Two: Trunks must have thrown the fight. There’s no way Goten is that much stronger than him.

Thunder: I dunno. Goku doesn’t look very strong either and no on ever challenges him to fight- except Vegeta...

Mew: I bet Trunks is planning something! Goten’s kinda slow and Trunks is always taking advantage of that.

Mew Two: Maybe...

Thunder: Or maybe Goten really won!

Mew: How about we just cut to Lightning at ringside and stop fighting.

Thunder: Okay.

(The screen cuts to Lightning who is with Future Trunks, Goten, and Little Trunks.)

Lightning: Okay. What happened out there, Trunks? You lost so quickly.

Little Trunks: I guess Goten is just stronger than me! Oh well! I’ll have to train harder next time!

Goten: That’s not it! Trunks told me he’d-

(Little Trunks covers his mouth)

Little Trunks: Ummm... We have to go now!

(He drags Goten away)

Goten: (as he’s being dragged) BYE LIGHTNING!

(Lightning and Future Trunks look at each other. Then the screen cuts to Mew and friends in the booth. They’re equally confused.)

Mew: Lets just go to the next fight now...

(The screen cuts to the ring. The next contestants are Gohan and Number 18. The announcer is already out of the ring and they are starting)

Announcer: Number 18 starts right of by charging Gohan! She landed quite a few punches, but Gohan is still standing! He’s just blocking! Wait! He used an energy attack to get her away! Now what is he doing!?

Lightning: Dude, he’s transformed into a Super Saiyen.

Announcer: And that means...

Future Trunks: He’s a lot stronger than he was 30 seconds ago.

Announcer: Okay! Well, I have no idea what those 2 are talking about, but Gohan is now at the advantage! Number 18 is having trouble keeping up with him! Wait! I think she’s finally caught him- Oh no! He’s behind her now! And he knocked her out of the ring! No! She’s still hanging on! Will she get back in? No! She fell out of the ring! Gohan wins!

*I don’t like Number 18 Boo 18! Gohan is so much better.*

(The screen cuts to the booth)

Mew: Maybe we should outlaw Super Saiyen transformations. They end these fights too fast.

Mew Two: I think that was over so fast because the author doesn’t like Number 18.

Thunder: SHHHH! That would imply that this is rigged!

Mew Two: Oh yeah! This isn’t rigged, I swear!

Mew: Lets go down to Lightning at Ringside.

(The screen cuts to Lightning who is with Gohan.)

Lightning: You ended that fast, Gohan.

Gohan: Yeah. I guess that was kind of easy.

Lightning: Why didn’t you just start off at Super Saiyen?

Gohan: I thought I could win without transforming. I was wrong.

Lightning: Is there anyone you hope you get to fight in this tournament?

Gohan: I don’t want to fight any of the people that have made it to the next round. But knowing my luck I’ll end up fighting my mom or brother.

Lightning: You’d win both those fights.

Gohan: I don’t know... Goten is tough...

Lightning: Is there anyone you really don’t want to fight?

Gohan: My mom! I would feel so guilty if I won, which I wouldn’t because I’d quit first.

Lightning: So you wouldn’t mind fighting your dad?

Gohan: He hasn’t made it to the next round yet. He might not.

Lightning: You don’t think he can beat Piccolo?

Gohan: I’m just saying you never know what’s going to happen. He could get hurt or eat too much to fight or something.

Lightning: Okay. Back to you, Mew!

(The screen cuts to Mew and friends)

Mew: Wouldn’t that be funny if Goku ate too much to fight!? I could see him doing that for some reason.

Thunder: I don’t think he could do that. He can eat a lot. Even more than me. And even after eating all that he could go into a fight and win.

Mew: Who do you guys think will be in the final match? I bet it’s Goku and Vegeta.

Mew Two: It can’t be Goku and Vegeta. Since they are fighting in the last 2 matches of round 1, they’ll fight in the last match of round 2 if they both win.

Thunder: You’re right!

Mew: Oh yeah! I guess we’ll just have to see then.

(Down in the ring waiting to begin is Goku and Piccolo.)

Announcer: Do you understand the rules?

Goku: Of course!

Piccolo: Yes.

Announcer: Okay! Are you ready?

Goku: Yep!

Piccolo: Yes.

Announcer: Okay! You may begin!

(They just stand there.)

Announcer: Ummmmm... I said you can start...

Piccolo: I fore fit.

Goku and the announcer: What!?

Piccolo: I decided I don’t want to fight you.

Goku: Why not!?

Piccolo: You and I both know you’re going to win. Save your strength for a real challenge.

Goku: But-

Piccolo: I’M NOT GOING TO FIGHT YOU!

Goku: Okay, okay...

Announcer: Okay then! Goku is the winner!

(Up in the booth...)

Mew: WHY DID HE FOREFIT!? We should have made that against the rules!

Mew Two: He knew he couldn’t win so he wanted Goku to save his strength. He’ll need it if Vegeta wins this match.

Thunder: Word.

Mew: Lets see what Goku has to say about this.

(The screen cuts to Lightning who is with Goku at ringside)

Lightning: Well Goku, you’re moving on by default. How do you feel about that?

Goku: I really wanted him to fight. I knew he wouldn’t, though. Piccolo is always forfeiting.

Lightning: Well, if Vegeta wins this match, you’ll have to fight him in the next round. How does that make you feel?

Goku: I don’t care about that. Vegeta isn’t as tough as he thinks he is.

Lightning: Really?

Goku: Yeah. I can take care of him no problem.

Lightning: We’ll just see what happens. Back to you, Me-

Goku: Wait! Do you have any of those rocks?

Lightning: Sure! Do you want to try one?

Goku: Yeah!

Lightning: Okay! Here. They’re really good! Just don’t chew it.

(Goku takes the rock and puts it in his mouth. After holding it there for a minute, he swallows it)

Goku: That was good!

Lightning: I’m almost out though... Lets go ask Dabura for more!

Goku: Okay!

(They both run off. Future Trunks walks in front of the camera)

Future Trunks: Ummmmm... Back to you, Mew.

(The screen cuts to Mew and friends in the booth)

Mew Two: Lightning is going to be so sick tomorrow.

Mew: Uh-huh... Lets get down to the ring.

(Down in the ring, Vegeta and Shin are ready to fight.)

Announcer: Are you ready?

Vegeta: Yes.

Shin: Yeah.

Announcer: Okay then! You may begin!

Vegeta: I must end this quickly. The sooner I fight Kakarot, the better.

Shin: Why are you so interested in fighting with him?

Vegeta: I have my reasons. But now, I must destroy you.

Announcer: Okay! Vegeta is doing the strange transformation thing Gohan did-

Lightning, Goku, and Future Trunks: He’s transforming to a Super Saiyen!

Announcer: What ever. Any way, he’s now attacking Shin at high power! OH! And Shin is knocked across the ring! He’s up! Shin is responding to the hit with a special attack of his own! The energy ball hit Vegeta! OH NO! It barely left a scratch! Vegeta launches an energy ball of his own at Shin! It knocks Shin out of the ring! He lands out of the ring! It’s over! Vegeta has won!

(Up in the booth...)

Mew: That’s it? Shin is the Supreme Kai! I expected so much more from him.

Mew Two: As did I. I’m very disappointed.

Thunder: it wasn’t that bad. At least no one forfeited.

Mew: That is a plus. Well, lets go down to Lightning and his assistant Goku at ringside.

(The screen cuts to Lightning and Goku. They are standing with Vegeta.)

Lightning: Nice match, Vegeta.

Vegeta: Thank you.

Goku: It looks like you’re going to fight me now, Vegeta.

Vegeta: I know. Now we will finally know who is stronger. You aren’t getting out of this, Kakarot.

Goku: I can’t wait for this!

Vegeta: Neither can I!

Lightning: It looks like you two are pumped for your battle.

Goku: You know it!

Lightning: Well, lets get back to Me- Wait a sec! Vegeta, you wouldn’t happen to know what Trunks and Goten are up to, would you? It’s bothering me that I don’t know.

Vegeta: I don’t know what they’re plotting now, but it’s never good. I’d look around for strangers in masks if I were you.

Goku: Yeah. You should also keep an eye on your tournament board. They might mess with that too.

Lightning: Why are those two such trouble makers?

Vegeta: Kakarot’s son is a very bad influence on Trunks.

Goku: Are you kidding me!? Goten isn’t a bad influence! Trunks is the little trouble maker! He’s always planning everything!

Vegeta: Trunks wouldn’t do that and you know it! Your son is the mastermind of all their little trouble making adventures.

Goku: Goten couldn’t be the mastermind of anything! He’s a good boy, but he’s not smart enough to plot these things.

Vegeta: You say that now, but when he ends up in prison don’t say you weren’t warned.

Goku: Trunks is the juvenile delinquent!

Vegeta: Like you even know what a juvenile delinquent is.

Goku: Sure I do! Your son is a perfect example of one.

Vegeta: You won’t be saying that after I beat you in our match.

Goku: Sure I will! Wait... I’m going to win our match!

Lightning: Guys! Calm down! We’ll just see about that. Any way, back to you, Mew!

(The screen cuts to the booth.)

Mew: Future Trunks was near there. Why didn’t they just ask him who the master mind of all their schemes was.

Mew Two: It was Trunks and they both know it. Vegeta just doesn’t want to admit that his son is a trouble maker.

Mew: I can’t believe Goku used the term “juvenile delinquent” correctly!

Mew Two: Yeah. It was kind of like when Rika said “vexed”. You just didn’t see it coming.

Thunder: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!?

Mew: Nothing. Say, now that the first round of fights is over, lets just recap who made it to round 2!

Mew Two: Okay. The fighters that made it to round 2 are: Dabura, Future Trunks, Chi Chi, Blossom, Goten, Gohan, Goku, and Vegeta.

Mew: That’s the order they fight in too, isn’t it?

Mew Two: Yes.

Mew: Oh no! Poor Gohan has to fight his little brother!

Mew Two: He does. That’s going to suck for him.

Thunder: I wonder why Goku’s entire family made it to the next round.

Mew: Hmmmm.... Maybe they train as a family or something. That is really weird.

Mew Two: Well, Looking at that, who do you think will make it to the final round?

Mew: Goku and Blossom.

Thunder: Blossom and Vegeta.

Mew: Really?

Thunder: Yeah. Vegeta is really tough. I think he’s going to beat Goku and Gohan.

Mew Two: To be completely honest with you, I think the final round will have Goku and Future Trunks in it.

Mew: Yeah?

Mew Two: Yeah. Future Trunks fights smart. Blossom just uses force. Trunks is at the advantage.

Mew: Well, we’ll see. The first match of round 2 is starting now. It’s Dabura and Future Trunks.

(The screen cuts to the ring where the battle between Dabura and future Trunks is just starting.)

Announcer: Okay! What is the deal with all these people turning into strange people with blonde hair?

Everyone: THEY’RE TRANSFORMING INTO SUPER SAIYENS!

Announcer: Well, as long as you all know... Any way, now that Trunks has completed his transformation, the fight has truly began. And Trunks is taking an early lead! He’s really letting Dabura have it! Ouch! Dabura hit Trunks clear across the ring!

Future Trunks: Ow. That kinda hurt...

Dabura: Have you had enough, boy?

Future Trunks: Of course not.

Announcer: They’re off again! They’re moving so fast! It’s hard to tell what’s happening! Oh no! Trunks took another hard hit!

Future Trunks: You’re just going to keep doing that, aren’t you?

Dabura: No. I’m going to end it now.

(Dabura spits at future Trunks)

Future Trunks: (Dodging the spit) I think not!

Announcer: Oh! Trunks just kicked Dabura in the face! He’s down! Dabura is down! Wait! He’s getting up! Dabura is getting up!

Dabura: You’re going to pay for that, mortal!

Future Trunks: I’m so sure. (sarcasm)

Announcer: Dabura is after Trunks but his large size is making it hard for him to keep up! Trunks is at the advantage here! He’s running circles around Dabura! OH! He kicked Dabura in the back of the head! He’s [Dabura] staggering towards the edge of the ring! Trunks kicked him again! He’s falling out! Dabura has fallen out! It’s over! Trunks is the winner!

Future Trunks: You’re going to do what now, Dabura? I’m going to pay for what?

Dabura: Shut up, boy!

(The screen cuts to the booth peeps- errrr- Pokémon.)

Mew: You were so right, Two.

Mew Two: Of course I was.

Thunder: That was a good fight! They should all be like that.

Mew: Yeah, but they won’t be. Any way, lets go to Lightning at ringside.

(The screen cuts to Lightning who is at ringside with future Trunks and Dabura.)

Lightning: First we’ll talk to Dabura. What happened, Dabura?

Dabura: The boy got lucky. If we ever battle again I guarantee that won’t be the case.

Lightning: Oh well. Losing’s not so bad Dabura. The world’s not going to end. Maybe you’ll win next time.

Dabura: I will certainly try.

Lightning: Okay. Thanks Dabura! Now Trunks, you’re going on to round 3! How does that make you feel?

Future Trunks: Okay. I guess.

Lightning: Who do you think will win the next round, Chi Chi or Blossom?

Future Trunks: I’m hoping for Blossom. That’ll be much more of a challenge.

Lightning: Yeah. I bet she wins too. Well, back to you in the booth.

(The screen cuts to the booth.)

Mew: Now lets go to the ring where the next battle between Chi Chi and Blossom is about to start.

(The screen cuts to the ring. Chi Chi and Blossom are standing across from each other waiting to begin.)

Announcer: Are you ladies ready?

Chi Chi: Yeah!

Blossom: I don’t feel like fighting.

Announcer: What!?

Blossom: I know I’ll go ape on Chi Chi and kill her or something, and I don’t want to do that.

Chi Chi: You will not! Just fight me!

Blossom: I’m still tired any way. I forefit.

Announcer: Uhhhh.... Okay then. Chi Chi is the winner!

Blossom: There. You don’t have to worry Goten! I won’t kill your mom!

Goten: (from the side line) Thanks Blossom!

(The screen cuts to the booth)

Mew: Two forfeits. TWO! That is two to many.

Mew Two: Stop saying my name! You’re confusing me!

Thunder: “Who do you think you is, Destiny’s Child? Ain’t nobody said your name!”

(Everyone laughs)

Mew: That movie looks so funny! I can’t wait for it to come out.

Thunder: Me either. Lightning said we should all go see it.

Mew Two: the tournament....

Mew: Oh yeah! We’re skipping Lightning because we know what Chi Chi will say. The next battle is about to start an way.

(The screen cuts to the ring. The next battle is about to begin. Goten and Gohan are waiting to start.)

Announcer: Are you ready!?

Goten: Yeah!

Gohan: No. This is insane. Why are you making me fight my little brother?

Goten: JUST FIGHT ME!

Announcer: I’m afraid you’re going to have to. Unless you forefit.

Gohan: Can’t I fight Vegeta or something?

Goku and Vegeta: NO!

Gohan: Okay then....

Announcer: Okay! You may begin!

Gohan: I’m really sorry about this Goten. I’ll buy you some ice cream when we get home. I promise.

Goten: Yay! Ice cream!

Announcer: Okay! Gohan, who was very reluctant about this match, has taken off on an early offensive! He’s throwing punches at his little brother. And Goten goes across the ring! Now he’s charging Gohan! He hits Gohan, but he [Gohan] appears to be unaffected.

Gohan: Listen Goten, I’m going to end this now, okay?

Goten: You’re going to quit?

Gohan: No. I’m going to do this.

(He kicks Goten out of the ring. He lands out)

Gohan: Sorry Goten!

Announcer: It’s over! Gohan is the winner!

(up in the booth...)

Mew: He should have forfeited. Beating his little brother... That’s just wrong!

Mew Two: But when he has to fight someone else they might not be so caring. He’d have to fight the winner of the Goku-Vegeta fight.

Mew: Goku wouldn’t fight his 7 year old son.

Mew Two: Vegeta would. And he’d hurt him too. Gohan did the right thing.

Thunder: Lets see what Gohan has to say, shall we?

(The screen cuts to Lightning who is with Goten and Gohan)

Lightning: We’ll start with you, Goten. Did you have fun out there?

Goten: I sure did! I got to fight a grownup!

Lightning: So you don’t mind losing?

Goten: Naw. I never would have survived the next round.

Lightning: I suppose. Now lets talk to you, Gohan.

Gohan: Okay.

Lightning: Was it hard to fight your little brother?

Gohan: Yes! They might as well have made me fight my mom! It was awful! I feel so bad! I’m so glad he doesn’t mind losing.

Lightning: Yeah. So, who do you want to win the next round?

Gohan: I’m gonna lose either way, but I hope my dad wins. Vegeta will kill me for sure.

Lightning: But that’s ‘cause he’s a jerk. Heh heh heh... Back to you guys in the booth.

(The screen cuts to the booth)

Mew: Well, the next fight is about to begin. It’s the headliner brawl that we’ve all been waiting for! Goku versus Vegeta! Lets get down to the ring!

(The screen cuts to the ring. Goku and Vegeta are standing across from each other waiting to begin. )

Announcer: Okay! Are you ready?

Goku: You know it!

Vegeta: YES! LETS START ALREADY!

Announcer: Okay! You may begin!

Goku: (turning Super Saiyen) I hope your happy Vegeta...

Vegeta: (turning Super Saiyen) I am! Lets start!

Announcer: And they’re off! Vegeta is on the attack first with-

(The screen goes fuzzy. You can’t see or hear anything. You desperately bang the TV trying to get it to come in again. You’re about to throw it out the window when the fight comes in again.)

Announcer: It’s over! The most amazing and spectacular fight of the tournament is over!

(Now you’re hitting the TV and swearing at it. The screen cuts to the booth)

Mew: Wasn’t that fantastic! That was the greatest fight ever!

Thunder: I know! Goku barely won it!

Mew Two: I just received word from Van at the studio that there was an explosion at the Anime Talk studio. It took out a small piece of our studio. The blast messed up a few of our machines and it took 10 minutes to get them back online. Our viewers missed the fight.

Mew: Oh no! It was so good! Goku was like... And then Vegeta... And then Goku won!

*That’s how they tell stories on the Pokémon gameboy games. Annoying isn’t it?*

Thunder: We’re way sorry about that fans. We taped it and we’ll try to air it later. But now, we need to go talk to our winner at ringside.

(Down at ringside.....)

Lightning: What a fight Goku! That was fantastic!

Goku: I got lucky... Vegeta nearly killed me.

Vegeta: Don’t worry Kakarot. I won’t miss next time.

Lightning: That was so great! I’m in shock at how great that was. Wow. That was great!

Goku: It wasn’t that great...

Lightning: Yes it was! But we have to get to the booth again.

(Up in the booth...)

Mew: We are now in round 3! The matches will be:

Chi Chi versus Future Trunks

Gohan versus Goku

Wow! No matter how you look at it, someone from Goku’s family makes it to the final round!

Mew Two: We’re really pressed for time. This has to go quick. we have 10 minutes.

Thunder: Wow! Okay! Lets get going then.

(In light of the fact this episode is getting really long, I’ll give you the fights real quick. Chi Chi fights hard, but Future Trunks beats her. As expected, the next round is taken by Goku. Gohan fights hard, but his dad is just too strong. That brings us to the final round. It’s Goku versus Future Trunks. It’s really close through the whole fight. Goku wins because Trunks wasn’t paying attention and accidentally fell out of the ring. That makes Goku the champion!)

*Honestly, what did you expect? I love Goku! Future Trunks is cool, but Goku is still the best. He deserved a win and I let him have one! Way to go, Goku!*

Lightning: (at ringside with Goku) Congratulations Goku! You’re the big winner! Who do you want to meet?

Goku: Well, I feel bad for beating Gohan, so I told him I’d pick who ever he wanted to meet.

Lightning: did he say who that was?

Goku: He didn’t have to. I know who he wanted to meet. He didn’t want to meet his hero, he wants to meet who he calls the most interesting person in the whole world.

Lightning: Who’s that?

Goku: Miss Cleo!

Lightning: Are you kidding me?

Goku: No. I kinda want to meet her too. I want to know if I could make it in the music industry.

Lightning: Uhhhhhh...... yeeeeahhhhh......

(Up in the booth... )

Mew: Miss Cleo? Ugh... Well, that’s it folks. How does everyone think that went?

Mew Two: Good. That was a very good special.

Thunder: Agreed.

Mew: Well, tomorrow we’re having yet another special!

Thunder: It’s because we love you fans so much. You love specials, so we’re giving you one more before we get back to normal episodes for awhile.

Mew: Tomorrow’s special will be the When We Were Little Special!

Thunder: We’re going to talk to your favorite guests about their childhoods!

Mew: Tomorrow we’ll be talking to Giovanni, Goku, Vegeta, Michelle, Darien, Gene, Tenchi, Lt. Surge (maybe we’ll get a first name out of him), and some other people too. I can’t find the paper right now. Sorry.

Thunder: That’s okay, Mew! It’s going to be a good one. We’re going to have a blast! I hope you’ll join us! See you later!

Mew: BYE!

Mew Two: Good bye.

(The screen stays with our friends in the booth. In the background, there’s a window. In the window you can see Goten and little Trunks holding signs that say things like “Trunks is cool” and “Mew Two has an afro”. You laugh ‘cause that’s funny. Then I take my end of episode voice and say:)

That’s it for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show! Tune in tomorrow to see the When We Were Little Special! Good night everyone!