Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 46 of TPAMS!

Mew: We were going to do something in memory of Chi Chi today, but we need one more day to set everything for that up, so today we found some interesting guests for you.

Thunder: Kem came home from a visit to the real world rambling on about some people she went to school with there. These people sounded very interesting, so we decided we wanted to go find them and bring them here to interview.

Mew: We were able to find some of the friends and acquaintances Kem was talking about that were willing to come do an interview. Who are they, Mew Two?

Mew Two: You were able to find Mike, Maureen, Tony, Katie, and Maria.

Thunder: We know Katie and Maria! I think...

Mew Two: You do. Katie is trying to help me spread my religion to people in her world. And Maria has visited before. She was in the first movie.

Mew: That's right! I remember that.

Thunder: Me too! Should we start the interviews now?

Mew Two: That sounds like a good idea. Who do you want first?

Mew: Which one called me sassy?

Mew Two: That was Maureen.

Mew: Okay! I want to talk to her!

Mew Two: Fine. Maureen it is.

(Maureen walks onto the stage. She stops and looks suspiciously at Thunder and Mew. Then she sits down.)

Thunder: Ummmmm.... Okay.... Hi!

Mew: HI MAUREEN!

Maureen: Hello. Are you trying to kill me!?

Thunder: I don't think so...

Mew: Not yet. If we wanted you dead, you'd be dead.

Maureen: Oh really?

Mew: Really.

Maureen: Fine. What do you want to talk about?

Mew: Tell us about Kem.

Maureen: Don't you live with her? What can I tell you that you don't already know?

Thunder: What is she like at school?

Maureen: Well, she's really nice to everyone all the time. She always does her homework. She never gets into trouble. And she carries mints in that box she carries around! That makes the box smell minty.

Mew: Wow. Kem sounds boring.

Maureen: She's not boring! It's fun to watch her fight with Tony.

Mew: Who's Tony?

Mew Two: You're interviewing him later. He's the one that yells at Kem all the time for being too "nice" and "happy".

Mew: Okay! Well, why does Kem fight with him?

Maureen: I dunno. I think it's because she wants him to stop being a jerk, but that's not going to happen.

Thunder: Then why does she keep fighting with him?

Maureen: Methinks you should ask her, not me.

Mew: Do you see her here?

Maureen: She was back stage talking to Katie and Maria just now.

Mew: Shut up!

Thunder: Mew! Be nice.

Maureen: Yeah. Stop being so sassy!

Mew: I'm not sassy!

Mew Two: I think you are kind of sassy.

Mew: Who says "sassy" anymore?

Maureen: I do!

Mew: You also say "methinks."

Maureen: Those are good words. Maybe you should use them more often.

Mew: Ummmmmm..... No.

Thunder: Excuse me. Do you think we could get on with the show now?

Mew: Whatever.

Thunder: Okay. What else do we want to ask Maureen?

Mew: Nothing.

Thunder: I don't have any either, but she should stay here in case I think of some more.

Maureen: Okay! Who are you going to talk to now?

Thunder: Lets talk to... Mike!

Mew Two: Mike it is.

(Mike walks onto the stage.)

Mew: Hi Mike!

Mike: Hello.

Thunder: How are you today?

Mike: I'm just fine. How are you?

Mew: Same. Now, lets talk about Kem.

Mike: Fine. Lets talk about her.

Thunder: You're friends with her?

Mike: You could say that.

Mew: It sounds like you're just pretending to be her friend.

Mike: Oh no. We're friends. I just like to answer questions in a way that raises suspicion. It's fun to do that.

Thunder: Are you the kid that's obsessed with Sleepaway Camp?

Mike: I'm not obsessed. I just happen to enjoy those movies.

Mew: So you are the one who's plotting Kem's death!?

Mike: What?

Mew: Kem said she thinks you're out to get her.

Mike: I already told her that I have no intention of hurting her. That wouldn't be very nice of me.

Thunder: But I thought you like to beat kids up.

Mike: Only if they deserve it.

Mew: Do you think Kem deserves to be beaten up?

Mike: Oh no. She has done nothing to deserve that. Not yet, any way.

Mew Two: How come you always speak in that sarcastic monotone? Do you do that on purpose or is it something you can't help?

Mew: Mew Two!

Mike: You think I speak in a sarcastic monotone?

Mew Two: Yeah. I can see why Kem thinks you hate her and want her dead.

Mike: Perhaps "Kem," as you call her, is a little too paranoid.

Mew Two: She is, but you do sound like you're secretly plotting all our deaths.

Mew: Mew Two! Stop that!

Mew Two: Fine.

Thunder: Are you the one who likes to dress up like a mafia hit man?

Maureen: Yes he is.

Mike: Why do you people keep saying that? I do not dress like a mafia hit man.

Mew: You know, you kinda do. I bet you and Giovanni could get along really well. Especially since you both like to pretend to hate Kem.

Mike: I don't pretend to hate anyone. If I hate you, you'll know it.

Thunder: Do you hate us?

Mike: Yes.

(Thunder and Mew look at him with the sad puppy dog eyes.)

Mike: J/k. J/k.

(Thunder and Mew give him a really confused look. Then they begin laughing hysterically.)

Maureen: He speaks in internet short hand sometimes.

Mew: Wow, Mike. You're weird!

Thunder: But we like weird! Weird is good.

Mike: Ummmm... You are very weird yourselves.

Mew: Thank you! You're fun! Really fun. You sit by Maureen and we'll call out your next friend.

Mike: Okay.

Mew Two: Who would you like to speak to next?

Mew: Maria!

Mew Two: Okay.

(Maria walks onto the stage.)

Maria: Hi!

Mew: Hi Maria!

Thunder: How are you?

Maria: I'm fine, thank you. How are you?

Mew: We're fine. So, you've been friends with Kem longer than anyone else here. Why do you hang out with her?

Maria: She's a nice person. Most of the time, any way.

Maureen: When is Kemi not nice?

Maria: When she... Ummmmmm.... Kiss my notebook!

(Maureen rolls her eyes. Thunder and Mew slide their chairs away from Maria.)

Mike: If you like weird, you'll like Maria a lot.

Mew: We like regular weird not freaky, scary weird.

Maria: I am not freaky, scary weird!

Thunder: Oh yes you are.

(Kem runs onto the stage and hides behind Maria.)

Mew: Are you okay, Kem?

Kem: Tony is going to hurt me... Hi Maureen! Hi Mike! Hi Maria!

Mike, Maria, and Maureen: Hi Kemi.

Thunder: Why is Tony going to hurt you?

Kem: Well, I was trying to talk to Katie, but Tony said that I was either wrong or lying about everything I said, so I told him to stop that and he hissed and glared at me. That's when I decided that running away would be a good idea.

Maureen: That's because he's a jerk and he doesn't want you to talk to his wife.

Mew: Katie is Tony's wife!?

Maria: When did that happen!?

Kem: They aren't married yet. Katie promised that I would be a bride's maid when they do get married!

Mew Two: When?

Maureen: It is when, not if. When.

Thunder: Send Tony out, Mew Two. I want to find out what his problem is.

Maureen: He's probably just hiss at you and turn everything you say back at you.

Mew: We can take it.

(Tony walks onto the stage.)

Mew: Hi Tony.

(He just glares at them.)

Thunder: Don't you think you should say "hi" to the people that invited you onto their talk show.

Tony: No.

Mew: What do you mean no!?

Tony: I mean, I don't think I am in any way obligated to say "hi" to you or anyone else.

Thunder: Dude, you need to lighten up a little.

Tony: YOU need to lighten up a little.

Mew: No. I think you should stop being such a jerk.

Tony: I think you're a jerk.

Thunder: What's your problem?

Mew: Yeah! Why are you so mean?

Tony: Maybe you aren't mean enough.

Mew: We're plenty mean! You just aren't nice!

Tony: What is "nice?" Why should I be "nice?"

Thunder: Nice is.... Ummmmmm.....

Mew: It's the opposite of not nice!

Tony: You 2 could very well be worse than Kemi at this whole arguing thing.

Mew: You shut up! I don't know why you're so mean all the time, but you should stop!

Tony: No. I don't think I will.

Maureen: Why won't you stop being a jerk for 3 seconds Tony. The cat and the bunny thing are trying so hard to be nice to you.

Mew: Not any more, we aren't. You go sit over there.

Tony: What ever.

(He walks across the stage, sits down, and takes out his gameboy. Katie walks onto the stage.)

Katie: Hi everyone!

Mew: Hi Katie!

Thunder: Your husband has some serious anger issues he needs to deal with, Katie. You should get him some help.

Katie: Since when is he my husband?

Maureen: Since you got married. I know you didn't expect us to find out about that, but we did.

Kem: Be nice, you guys. Katie and Tony aren't married. They're only engaged. They'll be getting married in a few weeks.

Katie: Thanks, Kemi (sarcasm).

Kem: Don't mention it!

Mew: Well, you guys are very strange.

Kem: You just noticed?

Thunder: You never introduced us to your friends from the real world before. We had no idea how scary they were.

Mike: We're scary, are we?

Mew: Yeah.

Mike: Okay.

Mew: That's all you're going to say?

Mike: Yes.

Thunder: Okay.... So, what else is new with you guys?

Maureen: You can't make me say anything!

Mike: Nothing much.

Maria: Yesterday, I went to the store with my dad....

(Maria tells one of her famous pointless stories that lasts about 45 minutes.)

Maria: ... and that's why the neighbor's cat only has 1 eye.

(Thunder and Mew just look at her.)

Maria: What?

Maureen: That was utterly fascinating (sarcasm).

Thunder: Okay. We have 5 minutes left. Does anyone else have anything to share?

Maureen: Sharing is for losers! Everything is mine!

Mike: Heh heh heh...

(Everyone gives him a confused look and slides their chairs away from him.)

Kem: I knew he wanted to kill me!

Katie: *sigh* Why do I hang out with these people again?

Tony: Because you're stupid.

Everyone: Shut up, Tony!

(Tony glares at them and hisses.)

Maria: Are you okay, Tony?

Mew: No, Maria! Don't talk to him! He's bad!

Tony: I'm not bad! YOU'RE bad!

Mew: I am not! Now you stop talking or I'll turn you into a watermelon!

Maureen: A watermelon?

Mew: Yes. A watermelon.

(Tony rolls his eyes at Mew.)

Mew: Grrrrrr..... That's it!

(She uses her powers to turn Tony into a watermelon. Mew Two walks over, picks it up, and carries it back stage.)

Mew: Who else wants some!?

Kem: I was just leaving... to.... buy... things...

Katie: Me too!

(They run off the stage.)

Maureen: We're all going to die! AHHHHHHHH!!!!

(She runs into the audience and out the back door. Mike gets up and calmly walks out. Maria runs after him trying to tell him about the time she and her brother were writing poetry.)

Thunder: Way to go, Mew. You scared all the guests away.

Mew: That's okay. Our time is just about up, any way.

Thunder: I guess. Well, what's up for tomorrow?

Mew: Tomorrow is our "remembering Chi Chi" thing we promised Goku.

Thunder: Ummm.... I have plans...

Mew: You do not! Besides, you're not going to want to miss what I have planned.

Thunder: What do you have planned?

Mew: You'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

Thunder: Awwwww.... Mew!

Mew: Sorry, Thunder.

Thunder: Fine. Well, I guess that's it for today's episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show!

Mew: Tune in tomorrow for our tribute to Chi Chi! It's going to be fun!

Thunder: ....... (confusion dots)

Mew: Good night, everyone!

That's it for today's episode of TPAMS. Tune in tomorrow for Thunder and Mew's Tribute to Chi Chi. Good night.