Mew Two: Hello and welcome to episode 49 of The Pikachu and Mew Show. I’m starting the show today because we can’t cut to Thunder just yet. They aren’t ready just yet. So I’ll remind you what is happening today. Thunder and Mew have gone to the homes of some of our guests to have dinner with them. Thunder is with Goku and Vegeta’s families at Vegeta’s house and Mew is with Giovanni’s family and Kuja’s family at Giovanni’s house.

Mystic: Okay. They’re ready.

Mew Two: All right then. Enjoy the show.

(The screen cuts to Vegeta’s house. We are in a cute little dining room with a big table. There are animals all over the place. We see Vegeta, Bulma, Trunks, Goku, Gohan, Goten, and Thunder sitting around a table. They are all staring at the camera.)

Thunder: Okay. Just pretend the camera isn’t here.

Trunks: Yeah right.

Bulma: Trunks!

Goten: Daddy, why is there a camera here?

Goku: (chewing) Thunder is filming us for TPAMS.

Goten: Neat! Can I say hi to my friends, Thunder!?

Thunder: Okay, but then we have to act like the camera isn’t here.

Goten: Okay! Hi Molly and Penny and Sam and Brian and Tommy and Sasha and Ben and Jeff and Harold!

Thunder: Is that everyone?

Goten: I think so.

Thunder: Good. So, this is a normal, average dinner.

Bulma: That’s right. Would anyone like some corn?

Goku: I would!

Bulma: (passing it to him) Here you go, Goku.

Goku: (shoveling the corn onto his plate) Thanks, Bulma!

Bulma: You’re welcome!

Gohan: This food is really good, Bulma.

Thunder: Yeah. It’s delicious!

Bulma: Why, thank you!

Thunder: So, what sort of things do you guys normally talk about at dinner?

Trunks: Well, at our house, mommy usually yells at daddy for scaring the neighbors.

Bulma: I do not yell.

Vegeta: Yes you do.

Bulma: I do not! Name one time I yelled at you!?

Vegeta: Other than right now?

Bulma: Vegeta!

Thunder: Hey! Settle. What do you guys talk about at dinner, Goku?

Goku: There isn’t much talking at our house. We tend to focus all our energy on eating.

Gohan: Yeah. (To Thunder) My mother was the one who always instigated conversations.

Thunder: I see.

Goten: I know what we can talk about!

Thunder: What?

Goten: At school today we took a math test and I don’t like math but I took it any way because I had to and when the test was over me and Trunks went outside and found a kitty!

Trunks: Yeah! It was a brown kitty.

Gohan: Wow (sarcasm).

Goku: Gohan . . .

Gohan: Sorry.

Thunder: Thank you. That was . . . Interesting . . . (To the camera) Maybe you should see how Mew is doing.

(The screen cuts to Giovanni’s house. We are in a large dining room with lots of fancy looking furniture. The table is set with expensive looking crystal dishes and a pretty, frilly table cloth. We see Mew, Giovanni, Andrea, Giovanni’s mom, Giovanni’s dad, Kuja, Erin, Kuja’s mom, and Kuja’s dad sitting around the table. There isn’t any food yet, so they are just sitting there waiting.)

Mew: Okay guys. The camera isn’t here.

Andrea: (looking into her compact) I think I’ll put some of this on just the same.

Giovanni: Mew, what exactly are we supposed to be doing?

Mew: I dunno. What do you normally do when you eat dinner?

Giovanni: Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps I just . . . Eat . . .

Mew: You stop being sassy! I want to hear some polite dinner conversation right now!

Giovanni’s mom: That sounds like a wonderful idea, Mew.

Mew: Okay. Converse.

(No one says anything. After a minute or so, Kuja decides to break the silence.)

Kuja: Ummmmm . . . This is a nice house you have here, Giovanni.

Giovanni: Thank you.

Kuja’s mom: I agree. The decorating was done very beautifully.

Giovanni: Mother picked everything out. She’s very good at that.

Giovanni’s mom: No, I’m not.

Kuja’s mom: Don’t be so modest. You did a wonderful job.

Giovanni’s mom: Thank you.

Kuja’s mom: I wish Kuja would let me into his palace to decorate. There are so many things I would like to get rid of in there.

Kuja: Now, mumsy, that is exactly why I won’t let you do anything with it. It took me a terribly long time to collect all my lovely little treasures.

Kuja’s mom: Your “treasures” are nothing but clutter. You have such a beautiful palace, Kuja. It’s a shame the inside is in the state it is.

Giovanni’s mom: You know, Giovanni used to say the same thing. He didn’t want me to touch anything. Just give him time. I’m sure Kuja will let you help after awhile.

Kuja’s mom: Of course.

Mew: *thinking* Wow . . . Rich people conversations are REALLY BORING.

Giovanni’s dad: Mew?

Mew: Huh? Oh. Hi, Giovanni’s dad.

Giovanni’s dad: You looked a little bored.

Mew: Me? Bored? Of course not!

Andrea: You’re a really bad liar, Mew.

Mew: Shut up, Andrea.

Kuja’s dad: Who are you again?

Mew: Me?

Kuja’s dad: Yeah.

Mew: I’m Mew Meowie. I’m one of the hosts of The Pikachu and Mew Show.

Kuja’s dad: Oh yeah! Kuja has told us all about you. You and the rabbit thing are the ones who put him in jail.

Mew: Yeah . . . That was before we knew what a nice guy Kuja was. We’re cool now.

Kuja: Yes, daddy. Mew is nothing to worry about.

Kuja’s dad: If you say so . . .

Andrea: Do you guys have creepy powers like Kuja?

Giovanni’s mom: Andrea!

Andrea: What?

Kuja’s mom: (To Giovanni’s mom) Don’t worry about it. We get that question all the time. (Turning to Andrea) Of course we do, my dear.

Andrea: Really? So, you could read my mind like Kuja did?

Erin: (smiling evilly) If we wanted to.

(Andrea covers her head with her hands and closes her eyes)

Kuja’s mom: Erin . . .

Erin: I was just kidding, mom.

(Some people carry in the food. The put it on the table and leave.)

Giovanni: Andrea, head off the table.

Andrea: (with her head down) But daddy, she’s going to read my mind!

Giovanni: Think nice thoughts and you’ll have nothing to worry about.

(Andrea slowly raises her head. She watches Erin the whole time. Erin tries hard not to laugh)

Mew: (looking at the food) Ummmmm . . . Vanni, what is this?

Giovanni: (poking it) I think its meat loaf.

Giovanni’s mom: Giovanni! Stop playing with your food!

Giovanni: But she asked what it was.

Giovanni’s mom: That’s no excuse. And yes, Mew, it is meat loaf.

Mew: Rich people eat meat loaf?

Giovanni: (inspecting the meat loaf) Every third Thursday, unfortunately.

Giovanni’s mom: Giovanni!

Giovanni’s dad: Not to question you, dear, but isn’t he a little too old for you to be scolding him every four seconds?

Giovanni’s mom: If he would stop behaving like a child, I wouldn’t have to treat him like one.

Erin: (pushing her plate away) Do you humans eat any food that tastes good?

Kuja’s mom: Erin!

Erin: What? This food is disgusting.

Giovanni: You get used to it, but if you don’t want it, I can have Helga make you something else.

Erin: Thank you!

Giovanni: What would you like?

Erin: Do you have any pizza?

Giovanni: If that’s what you want. Norbert . . .

(A man walks out from the shadows a few feet behind Giovanni. Mew jumps.)

Mew: What the!?

Norbert: Yes, sir?

Giovanni: Could you please go ask Helga to make some pizza for our guest?

Norbert: Of course, sir. Will that be all?

Andrea: I want some apple juice.

Giovanni: Andrea, what did you forget?

Andrea: *sigh* Could you PLEASE bring me some apple juice? Please . . .

Norbert: Of course. I shall return in a moment.

(He disappears into the kitchen.)

Mew: (looking around) Are people hiding in the shadows in every room?

Giovanni: No. That was Norbert. He stays where the family is so he can come when he is needed.

Mew: Why does he hide like that? He nearly gave me a heart attack. You should have him sit down with us or something.

Giovanni’s mom: You see, dear, it’s customary for servants to stay out of sight, especially when there are guests.

Mew: Why? That doesn’t seem very fair.

Kuja’s mom: Please, let me try.

Giovanni’s mom: Certainly.

Kuja’s mom: You see, Mew, in upper class homes with servants, there is a set of... Levels, we’ll call them. The family a servant serves is on a higher level than the servant, so the servant isn’t supposed to associate with the family like they are equals.

Mew: But all people are equal. There have been all sorts of civil rights movements to make that happen.

Giovanni’s mom: Yes, dear, but this is different.

Mew: I don’t see how.

Giovanni: Mew, the people that work here are paid extremely well and aren’t treated badly by any means.

Mew: So? Why should they take orders from you?

Giovanni: Because I pay them to.

Mew: Well, even if you do pay them, I still don’t think it’s fair for you to expect them to hide while you have guests around because you’re “above” them.

Giovanni: Would it make you feel better if I asked him to sit down and eat with us?

Mew: Yes it would.

Giovanni: Okay. When he comes back, I will ask him.

Giovanni’s mom: Giovanni!

Giovanni: Mother. It’s really no big deal. Just calm down.

(Norbert comes back with Andrea’s juice.)

Norbert: (setting the juice in front of Andrea) Here you are, miss.

Andrea: Thank you.

Giovanni: Norbert?

Norbert: Yes, sir?

Giovanni: Would you like to sit down for a few minutes? You look tired.

Norbert: (looking really confused) Oh, no, sir. I’m just fine, than you.

(Giovanni gives Mew the “See?” look. Mew gives him the “Make him do it” look.)

Giovanni: Norbert, please sit down with us.

Norbert: Ummmmm... Okay. I- I mean- Yes sir.

(He sits down, but keeps his chair back from the table.)

Mew: Why are you sitting way back there?

Norbert: I couldn’t-

Mew: Scoot in!

(He slides his chair up between Kuja’s dad and Mew.)

Mew: That’s better. So, Your name is Norbert?

Norbert: Yes, ma’am.

Mew: It’s Mew.

Norbert: I’m sorry. Mew.

Mew: It’s okay. How long have you been working here?

Norbert: Well, I originally served the master’s parents, but I was asked to accompany him here.

Mew: So, you’ve served Vanni’s family for a long time?

Norbert: Almost forty years.

Mew: And they don’t let you sit with them!? Norbert! You’ve been a member of this family longer than Giovanni has!

Norbert: Just because I don’t sit with them doesn’t mean that I’m not treated well, miss Mew.

Mew: Just Mew. And you’re just saying that to keep your job.

Norbert: I’m not, miss- Mew. I don’t feel that I have ever been mistreated.

Mew: I don’t know why you rich people think you need to have people waiting on you all the time.

Giovanni: It’s not like they didn’t choose this for themselves.

Mew: You actually WANTED to come be a servant for rich people?

Norbert: Oh yes. I went to the best server college in the country.

Mew: You went to school and studied this!?

Norbert: Oh yes. You have to learn a lot before you can serve people.

Mew: Really?

Norbert: Yes.

Giovanni’s mom: See, Mew. It’s not bad for them at all.

Mew: Can you tell me why you would choose this as a career?

Norbert: Well, you get free room and board, and you get paid very well.

Mew: Wow... (To the camera) That’s not right... Go check on Thunder.

(The screen cuts to Vegeta’s house. They are now eating some cake.)

Thunder: (to the camera) I hope Mew was interesting. You didn’t miss anything here.

Vegeta: If you were going to spend the whole dinner with the show with Mew, why are you here?

Bulma: Vegeta!

Vegeta: What? It’s a very good question.

Thunder: Well, I thought you guys would be more interesting. I don’t know what’s wrong with you today.

Vegeta: Why do we have the problem? Maybe you have the problem.

Goku: Hey! Settle down, Vegeta. You know Thunder didn’t mean anything mean by that.

Vegeta: Do I?

Bulma: Yes you do, now stop fighting with everyone.

Thunder: *sigh* This is horrible . . .

Goten: I’m sorry we’re so boring, Thunder.

Thunder: Don’t be. You aren’t boring . . . You just aren’t interesting.

Gohan: Isn’t that the same thing?

Thunder: No.

Goku: Hmmmmm . . . Maybe I should tell you about the mean lady Vegeta and I ran into at the store today.

Vegeta: *sigh* He said he wanted an interesting story, Kakarot.

Goku: It is! The best part is when she beat up Vegeta.

Thunder: What?

Vegeta: She didn’t beat me up, Kakarot.

Goku: That’s not what it looked like from where I was standing.

Thunder: What happened?

Goku: Well, Bulma asked us to go to the store to get some dinner rolls. We got down there and found out that they were on sale, so there were lots of people there trying to get some rolls before they sold out. Well, Vegeta said that we had to get some quickly because if we missed out and had to go somewhere else, Bulma would be angry if she found out about the sale, which she probably would have because she’s got a radar for that sort of thing-

Bulma: Goku, the story . . .

Goku: Right. Sorry. Any way, we began running all over trying to get to a bag, but they were gone. Then Vegeta found a shelf that had four bags. An older woman had taken three off and put them into her cart. Then there was only one bag of rolls on the shelf, so Vegeta tried to take it, thinking that three would be enough for that lady, but the lady wanted that last bag, too. Vegeta calmly told her that she had three bags already so he was going to take those rolls and she had better back off. Then the lady said that he would have to fight her if he wanted them. He was about to try to hit her when I told him that we would just have to go somewhere else and pulled him away, but he decided that he wasn’t about to let that elderly woman take those dinner rolls without a fight, so he ran back and took them out of her cart. This made her really mad, so she started beating him with her purse. Then other people started watching and talking about how evil Vegeta must be. She kept beating him and beating him until he threw the rolls at me and told me to run. I ran off and paid for them. Vegeta was chased out of the store a few minutes later by an angry mob led by the lady.

Thunder: So you got the rolls?

Vegeta: You’ve got one on your plate right now.

Thunder: (looking down at the roll on his plate) So I do!

Bulma: I cannot believe you stole these from an old lady!

Vegeta: WHAT!?

Bulma: That was the most awful thing you two have ever done!

Vegeta: We did it because we didn’t want you to be angry with us!

Bulma: But you stole them from an old lady!

Vegeta: She already had three bags!

Bulma: Maybe she was having a party!

Vegeta: Maybe she should stop being so greedy!

Thunder: Hey! Break it up! No fighting!

Bulma: Thunder! I can’t believe you would support that sort of thing! I think you should go apologize to that lady right now!

Vegeta: I will do no such thing!

Goku: I can’t say I blame him. She messed him up pretty bad.

Vegeta: Shut up, Kakarot!

Bulma: And Goku! You need to go, too!

Goku: Why!? I didn’t try to hit her! And I tired to stop Vegeta!

Bulma: But you helped him steal the rolls from that poor old woman! You are setting horrible examples for your children and you need to go set things right!

Goku and Vegeta: But Bulma!

Bulma: But nothing! Go!

(Goku and Vegeta get up from the table and leave the room.)

Thunder: Wow, Bulma. Aren’t you being a bit harsh?

Bulma: Not at all. I don’t want Trunks and Goten to grow up thinking that it is okay to steal things from the elderly.

Thunder: Okay . . . (to the camera) I think you should go see what Mew is up to.

(The screen cuts to Giovanni’s house. Everyone has finished dinner and now they are eating ice cream. Well, everyone has ice cream except Giovanni.)

Mew: Why aren’t you eating any ice cream? (Looking at it) Is it poisoned?

Giovanni: Just your bowl (sarcasm).

Mew: Shut up.

Andrea: Daddy doesn’t eat ice cream. He says that it’s nothing but sugar and eating that much sugar will make him sick.

Mew: It’s not just sugar! There’s milk and fruit and sprinkles!

Erin: Sprinkles are made from sugar. And I can’t think of any ice cream that uses actual fruit to flavor it.

Mew: Maybe you buy the bad kind.

Giovanni: It’s all the same as far as I’m concerned.

Mew: So you aren’t going to have any desert at all?

Giovanni: I don’t eat desert. It’s bad for you.

Mew: Being the leader of a criminal organization is bad for you, but you do it any way.

Giovanni: I hardly think that is a fair comparison-

Mew: Its plenty fair!

Giovanni: *sigh* Whatever you say, Mew.

Mew: That’s right.

Erin: Did you ever actually try ice cream? I bet you would like it if you did.

Giovanni: Yes, I have tried ice cream and it made me feel sick.

Mew: Maybe you’re lactose intolerant.

Giovanni: I am not lactose intolerant. I drink milk and eat cheese without feeling sick. It’s the sugar.

Mew: Whatever. You’re officially the world’s most boring guy ever. No wonder you can’t get a girlfriend.

Giovanni: I don’t want a girlfriend.

Mew: Good, because you’re way too uncool to ever have one.

(Giovanni rolls his eyes and Mew sticks her tongue out at him.)

Kuja: Ummmmm . . . Okay. So, did everyone enjoy dinner?

Mew: Yeah. (Glaring at Giovanni) And the ice cream is tasty, too. I like ice cream.

Giovanni: That’s nice, Mew.

Mew: It is.

(She takes a big spoonful of ice cream and shoves it into her mouth. Giovanni shakes his head.)

Mew: Wait a second! If you don’t like ice cream, why is it in your house?

Giovanni: Andrea likes ice cream.

Andrea: Yep! I like peach the best!

Mew: I suppose that makes sense . . . Well, you’re still lame.

Giovanni: Okay.

(They sit in silence for a few minutes. Everyone finishes their ice cream. Norbert and some of the kitchen workers come and take the dishes away. Mew shakes her head. Then they sit some more.)

Mew: This is really boring.

Erin: I hear that.

Giovanni: Maybe you should think your specials through a little more throughly next time.

Mew: Quiet. Hey!

(She makes her cell phone appear.)

Mew: Someone is calling me! (Into the phone) Hello? (Pause) Hi Thunder! How are you coming along? (Pause) That’s too bad. My people are being pretty boring, too. (Pause) Well, first I yelled at Giovanni for having servants and then we go in a fight about ice cream. (Pause) Wow . . . (pause) They beat up an old lady!? (Pause) Oh. She beat him up. (Pause) That sucks. (Pause) Well, what should we do? (Pause) Uh-huh. (Pause) I dunno . . . (pause) Okay. Hold on. (To the people at the table) Do you like board games?

Giovanni: No.

Andrea: I do!

Kuja: Why do you ask?

Mew: Thunder thinks you guys might be more fun if you play a game.

Erin: Can we play Mario Party!?

Mew: Hey! That’s not a bad idea! (Into the phone) What if we had them play video games? (Pause) Erin came up with it. (pause) Okay. (To Erin) Thunder says good job.

Erin: Tell him it was nothing.

Mew: (into the phone) She says it was nothing. (Pause) Okay, Talk to you later. Bye! (Making the phone disappear) Thunder says we get to play video games now.

Erin: Yay!

Kuja’s mom: I’m afraid I’m not familiar with these “video games.”

Erin: You know the thing I’m playing when you yell at me for sitting in front of the TV all day?

Kuja’s mom: Yes . . .

Erin: Those are video games.

Giovanni: You know that I don’t play video games. And-

Mew: Sorry, Vanni. Thunder has spoken. Oh!

(She makes her phone appear again.)

Mew: (into the phone) Hello? (Pause) Hi daddy! (Pause) I’m not at home now. (Pause) Oh. (Pause) Oh no! (Pause) Are you sure!? (Pause) Now! But, daddy- (pause) Awwwww . . . But I’m in the middle of the show- (pause) Okay. I’ll be there soon. Bye.

(She makes her phone disappear and crosses her arms.)

Mew: Meowzie did something stupid and I have to come bail her out because of my social influence.

Giovanni: What are you talking about?

Mew: My sister Meowzie got into some trouble that involved the police. I’m not sure what she did to them, but now she’s in jail and I have to use my celebrity status to get her out.

Kuja: Isn’t that a little dishonest?

Mew: Yeah. But I’m a celebrity. I can be as dishonest as I want to be.

Giovanni’s mom: Why couldn’t your parents get her out?

Mew: She’s in a human jail.

Erin: Ouch.

Mew: Yeah. Any way, I guess I’m leaving, then. So you don’t have to play any video games today.

Erin: Damn!

Kuja’s mom: Erin!

Kuja: Well, good luck with that, then.

Mew: Thanks. Okay! Lets clean this place up, people! (To the camera) You cut back to Mew Two.

(The screen cuts to Mew Two. He’s building one of those boats in a bottle. When he looks up to see the camera on him, he jumps, destroying his little ship.)

Mew Two: *angry sigh* What? (Looking at the clock) Is the show over already? We still have a half hour left. What am I supposed to do to entertain millions of people for thirty minutes?

(Van walks into the room)

Van: Mew Two, Mew just called and said that she’s sorry she had to dump the show off on you but Thunder already left Vegeta’s place and she had to go help your parents get your sister out of jail.

Mew Two: Jail!?

Van: Yes. Apparently Meowzie was arrested for assaulting some human police officers.

Mew Two: How did that happen?

Van: Mew didn’t say.

Mew Two: I’ll ask later. Right now, we have to finish the show.

Van: We?

Mew Two: You aren’t leaving me to do this alone.

Van: But I’m not paid to-

Mew Two: You get paid more than enough to help host the show for 25 minutes.

Van: Fine. What are we going to do?

Mew Two: I’m not sure. I’ve only hosted once . . . And we had guests.

Van: We don’t really have time to get any guests.

Mew Two: I know . . .

(They sit in silence for a minute.)

Mew Two: I know! We can call someone! Phone interviews are just as good as in person interviews!

Van: Okay. Who do we call?

Mew Two: Okay. Who would you like to call?

Van: Oh no you don’t! You’re position on the staff is higher than mine, which makes you my boss, and since you’re the boss you are in charge, so you should pick.

Mew Two: You are such a baby . . . Lets talk to . . .

(Lightning and Darien walk into the room)

Lightning: Two! What’s up dude?! We need a favor.

Mew Two: Perfect timing! Mew dumped the show off on use so millions of people are watching us right now!

Lightning: (looking at the camera) Is that right?

Van: Yes.

Darien: That sounds like something Mew would do.

Lightning: It does. Well, what are you going to do?

Mew Two: We were going to call someone, but you two came, so we can talk to you.

Lightning: Okay! That sounds fun! Doesn’t it, Darien?

Darien: Okay.

Mew Two: Okay. Lets all sit down.

(They sit around the table. Mew Two moves his boat off to the side.)

Mew Two: Okay. How are you today?

Lightning: Fine.

Darien: I’m okay.

Mew Two: Excellent. That’s just excellent. What were you two doing?

Lightning: We were at the club with some people hanging out and stuff, but then we got into a little bit of trouble.

Mew Two: Don’t tell me the police are after you now.

Darien: Nothing like that. It’s more that Lightning made a promise he won’t be able to keep and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

Lightning: Don’t you dump this off on me, Darien!

Darien: What? You are the one who made the promise, aren’t you?

Lightning: I am, but I did it to help you!

Van: What kind of promise did you make?

Lightning: Well, I kinda promised Michelle that Darien would find a date for her cousin next Saturday.

Mew Two: She has a sister?

Lightning: Yep. She’s a few years younger. I guess she just doesn’t talk about her very much.

Darien: They don’t usually get along very well.

Mew Two: I see.

Darien: Any way, if “I” don’t find a date for her, Michelle is going to kill me. And I’m not even the one who made the promise in the first place.

Mew Two: Lightning, why did you promise Michelle that Darien would find a date for her sister?

Lightning: I figured Darien knew lots of guys he could set her up with.

Darien: Well, you figured wrong.

Mew Two: Okay. So what do you plan to do about this?

Lightning: Well, this is where you come in.

Mew Two: If you think I’m going out with her, you’re out of your mind.

Lightning: I know! But you have all sorts of connections. We figured that you could help us find someone.

Mew Two: How old is she?

Darien: I think she’s 19.

Van: Why don’t you set her up with Shiro?

Lightning: Because he has that clingy, obsessive, psycho girlfriend.

Mew Two: Okay . . . What about . . . Gene!

Darien: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Mew Two: What? He’s not so bad.

(Lightning and Darien look at him.)

Mew Two: You’re right. What about Tenchi?

Lightning: We asked him. He said he would have liked to but he already had plans for that day.

Mew Two: Okay. Wow . . . This is tough.

Van: What about Kaiba?

(Lightning and Darien look at each other.)

Darien: We never thought of him!

Lightning: I bet she’ll love him! Every girl loves Kaiba!

Darien: But he doesn’t really like it when people try to set him up like this.

Lightning: Maybe he’ll do it if Mew Two asks him. He likes Mew Two!

Mew Two: He does not.

Lightning: Sure he does! You’re both into that boring smart people stuff. He’ll definitely do it if you ask him to.

Mew Two: And I suppose if he won’t do it, we can always make Van go.

Van: What!?

Mew Two: Get me the phone, Van!

(Van walks away muttering things.)

Darien: Okay, Mew Two. He has to do this. I would rather not be murdered by Michelle because of Lightning’s big mouth.

Lightning: Hey! You know damn well she was going to make you do it any way. I just made you look like the good guy by suggesting it.

Darien: She would not have expected me to do it.

Lightning: Have you never had a girlfriend before!? When your girlfriend comments on how she wants something done, you are expected to volunteer to do it. That’s just how it is.

Darien: That’s not fair.

Lightning: It’s not a picnic either.

(Van returns with the phone. He gives it to Mew Two. Mew Two dials the number and waits.)

Mew Two: Okay. Now to ask him. (Into the phone) Hello? (Pause) Hello, Kaiba. It’s Mew Two. (Pause) I’m fine. What about you? (Pause) That’s great. What have you been up to lately? (Pause) Really!? Wow. I haven’t even been able to do that yet. (Pause) Really? (Pause) Huh. I’ll have to try that. (Pause) Me? Well, I’ve just been doing some guest relation stuff for Thunder and Mew. I haven’t had much time to finish my death ray or any of my other inventions.

(Lightning clears his throat.)

Mew Two: (to Lightning) Wait. (Into the phone) I was talking to Lightning. (Pause) Yeah. He gets a little impatient when he wants something. (Pause) Right. Well, I called to ask you a favor. (Pause) Yes. You see, Michelle- You know Michelle, don’t you? (Pause) Yes. Well, her sister is coming to visit and she was hoping that you might spend next Saturday with her. (Pause) Why you? Well . . . Ummmmm . . . You’re a nice guy and you’re a much better person to have her cousin hang out with that someone like . . . Darien. He’s kind of a jerk sometimes.

(Darien glares at him.)

Mew Two: Uh-huh. (Pause) Come on! You’ll have lots of fun! (Pause) Of course I mean that. (Pause) Now, Kaiba, it won’t kill you to spend one day with Michelle’s sister. (Pause) I’ll deal with that. You just go have fun! (Pause) You don’t think I can handle Kem? (Pause) Kaiba, don’t worry about Kem. She will understand. Just help me out with this one thing. (Pause) Why am I asking you? Well . . . Ummmmm . . . *sigh* I’m going to be honest with you. Darien and Lightning promised to get a date for Michelle’s sister and they asked me to help because I’m better at convincing people to do things than they are. (Pause) So you’ll help then? (Pause) Thank you so much! Just because you were kind enough to help out, I’ll see to it that Mystic stops calling your house and hanging up when you answer. (Pause) Yes. That’s her. (Pause) Okay. Bye now!

(He hangs up the phone.)

Lightning: Well?

Mew Two: He’ll do it.

Darien: I suppose I should thank you, but I don’t exactly approve of your methods.

Mew Two: It was a joke, Darien. Settle down.

Lightning: Well, it looks like you’re off the hook, Van.

Van: Not that I should have been on it in the first place.

Mew Two: You said it yourself, Van. I’m the boss and you have to do what I say.

Van: That wasn’t what I meant.

Mew Two: Forget about it. Now, is there anything else you need me to do to fix your little problem?

Lightning: You could call Michelle and tell her that everything is all set up.

Darien: No! She told us that we shouldn’t run to Mew Two for help.

Lightning: She did, didn’t she? I guess you’ll have to call her then?

Darien: Me!?

Lightning: She’s YOUR girlfriend.

Darien: But you told her we would help!

Lightning: Just call her!

(Mew Two hands him the phone. Darien looks at Lightning, who shakes his head. Darien dials the number and mutters something about an evil Raichu.)

Darien: Hello? (Pause) Hi! (Pause) That’s actually what I was calling about. (Pause) No. We found someone. (Pause) Kaiba. (Pause) Yes. (Pause) No! We didn’t! (Pause) I do know what his first name is! It’s-

(He looks to Lightning for help. Lightning turns around and begins forming letters with his tail.)

Darien: *whispering* S.. E.. T.. O.. (Pause) What? (Pause) No! I was listening. (Pause) You asked what his first name was if I knew it- Which I do! (Pause) His name is Seto. (Pause) I didn’t name him. (Pause) He’s a nice person. And he smart and apparently, lots of girls like him. (Pause) Oh yeah. I hear girls talking about him all the time. (Pause) Who? Ummmmm . . . Do Mystic and Mew count? (Pause) Well, I was watching Andrea for Giovanni the other day and she was talking about him a lot. (Pause) I know she isn’t. (Pause) She’ll like him! I know she will! (Pause) Ummmmm . . . Okay. (Pause) Okay. (Pause) I won’t forget. (Pause) Okay. (Pause) Bye.

(He hangs up the phone.)

Lightning: That went well?

Darien: No. If Jade doesn’t like him, I’m finished.

Lightning: Her name is Jade?

Darien: Don’t even start that!

Lightning: Settle. Everything will be fine. And I wasn’t going to start anything. I just thought that the name Jade doesn’t go well with Michelle.

Mew Two: And Kuja and Erin do go together?

Lightning: True.

Mew Two: Well, I’m glad we have taken care of your problem.

Lightning: I just hope that Michelle wasn’t watching.

Darien: She didn’t sound angry, so she must have missed it.

(Thunder walks into the room.)

Thunder: Hi. What are you guys doing here?

Van: Helping Mew Two host the show.

Thunder: (Just noticing the camera) What!?

Mew Two: Mew left me with the show. Apparently, Meowzie got into some trouble and Mew has to get her out of it.

Thunder: Oh no! How long has it been since she left!?

Mew Two: Like 15 minutes. Wow, guys! We took care of half the time!

Thunder: What have you been doing?

Mew Two: Well, we talked to Kaiba and got him to agree to go out with Michelle’s sister.

Thunder: Michelle has a sister?

Darien: Yes. She doesn’t like to talk about her.

Thunder: Why not?

Darien: They don’t get along well.

Thunder: Then why do you want Kaiba to go out with her?

Lightning: Michelle asked us to find a date for her.

Thunder: Even though she doesn’t get along with her?

Darien: I guess they are speaking to each other again so she’s coming to visit, and Michelle thought it would be fun for her to go out with someone on Saturday.

Thunder: (shaking his head) As long as you know what you’re talking about . . .

Lightning: Yeah.

Mew Two: Well, you have 10 minutes left.

Thunder: Just end this. I see this getting worse before it gets better.

Mew Two: Okay. Would you like to talk about tomorrow first?

Thunder: Sure. What’s tomorrow?

Mew Two: Tomorrow, you won’t be hosting the show.

Thunder: What!?

Mew Two: If you remember, Mew promised your mother that you would go to babysit your younger siblings.

Thunder: Who’s hosting, then?

Mew Two: Giovanni.

Thunder: WHAT!?

Mew Two: I convinced him to do it, but he wasn’t very happy to agree. So he will be hosting from his mansion tomorrow.

Thunder: Please tell me you got him help.

Mew Two: He has Andrea and Davis.

Thunder: We’re ruined!

Mew Two: You are not.

Lightning: I’ll head over there, too, Thunder.

Thunder: Thank you!

Mew Two: Okay. Giovanni and Lightning will be hosting, then. And they won’t be doing any interviews.

Thunder: What are they doing, then?

Mew Two: Well, I told Giovanni that he could do whatever he wanted.

Thunder: Oh no!

Mew Two: It will be fine. He’ll probably show the viewers what it’s like to be Giovanni or something like that.

Thunder: If you really trust him...

Mew Two: I do. And you should to. Well, that’s all. Go ahead and end this.

Thunder: Okay. That’s it for today’s episode of TPAMS. Thanks for watching! Please watch tomorrow. I’m sure Giovanni will do something fun and exciting. And even if he doesn’t, you should watch because Giovanni is cool. Well, that’s all I have. Bye!

Mew Two, Lightning, Darien, and Van: Bye.

That’s if for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show. Tune in tomorrow to see Giovanni host the show. That’s going to be interesting . . . Good night everyone.