Thunder: Hello and welcome to episode 7 of the Pikachu and Mew show. Wow Mew. Seven whole episodes. I don’t think Space Ghost lasted this long.

Mew: We must be the most successful cartoon talk show ever!

Thunder and Mew: SCORE!

Mew: Any way, today our guests are the Digidestened and their Digimon.

Mew Two: I HATE THEM!!!

Thunder: T.S. It’s not your show so you can’t do anything about it. Now Mew Two, SEND OUT THE FIRST DIGIDESTENED CHILD!!! And their Digimon.

Mew Two: Fine. First is Tai and Agumon.

(They walk on to the stage.)

Tai: Hey! What kind of Digimon are you?

(Thunder and Mew look at each other.)

Thunder: I am a PIKACHU. A PIKACHU is a POKEMON not a DIGIMON.

Tai: Well then what the hell is that?

Mew: I am a MEW. A MEW is a POKEMON also.

Tai: Ok.

Agumon: Shut up Tai! You’re making them mad at us!

Thunder: Wow.

Mew: So you heard him tell Tai to shut up too?

Thunder: Any way, so Tai, why are you such a self absorbed jerk?

Tai: I am not a self absorbed jerk.

Agumon: Yes you are.

Tai: Agumon! How could you say that!?

Agumon: Easy. I don’t have to like you here. We aren’t on the show any more.

Mew: So you 2 aren’t really friends?

Agumon: No.

Thunder: COOL! So Agumon, you hate Tai in real life then?

Agumon: Yes.

Tai: I don’t hate you Agumon.

Mew: Does that mean all the Digidestened hate each other in real life too?

Tai: Yes. I hate them all. Especially Matt.

Thunder: Are we sensing some hostility towards Matt here?

Tai: Next question.

Mew: Fine. Did you enjoy hanging out in the Digital world?

Tai: Yeah. It was cool.

Agumon: Yeah right. The Digital world sucks.

Thunder: So you like the real world better then?

Agumon: Yes. You’re pokemon world is Ok too.

Tai: This place is cool. There are all kinds of strange Digimon hanging out around here.

Mew: Tai, hun, THEY’RE ALL POKEMON!!!!!

Tai: Oh. They’re cool any way.

Thunder: Do you want to become a pokemon trainer?

Tai: What’s that?

Mew: A pokemon trainer is a person who goes out and catches and raises pokemon to battle against other trainers.

Tai: Battle?

Thunder: Lets show him a battle Mew. You and Mew Two.

Mew: Ok. MEW TWO!!!

Mew Two: What?

Mew: Come help me show Tai what a battle is.

Mew Two: Ok.

Thunder: We need trainers. I’ll ask the audience. Who wants to be a pokemon trainer. Lets see. How about you and you.

(Two guys walk on to the stage.)

Thunder: I picked people I knew. I’ll pick randomly next time. And our trainers are Brock and Matt H. (I promised I'd put you in and here you are.).

Matt H.: I get Mew Two!

Brock: No fair!

Mew: HEY!

Thunder: Ok. Trainers to your places.

(Matt and Brock take their places.)

Mew Two: Prepare to lose Mew.

Mew: Same to you!

Thunder: Ready...... GO!

Brock: OK! Mew, Metronome!

Matt H.: I think not! Mew Two, Blizzard.

Thunder: Aww. Mew missed. But Mew Two hit dead on!

Brock: Recover Mew!

Matt H.: Umm... Thunder!

Mew: OWWWW!!!!

Mew Two: Aww. Did that hurt? I’m sorry.

Mew: GRRRR!! SHUT- UP!

(She threw a huge psychic ball at Mew Two.)

Mew Two: OUCH!

Thunder: NO WAY! Mew Two said ouch! He got hurt! He NEVER gets hurt!

Tai: This is COOL!

Mew Two: You will pay for that MEW!

(He Thunders Mew again)

Mew: AHHH!

Matt H.: Now finish her! Use psychic!

Mew Two: With pleasure!

(He throws his psychic energy at Mew. It’s a direct hit.)

Mew: OWWWWWW!

Mew Two: HA HA HA HA HA! I told you I was superior!

Brock: MEW! Are you Ok?

Mew: I’M NOT DONE YET MEW TWO!!!!

(She throws a fire ball at him)

Mew Two: Ha! You missed. OUCH! MY TAIL!

Mew: It’s a torch.

Mew Two: (putting his tail out) YOU WILL DIE!

(He throws another ball of psychic energy at her)

Mew: YOU FIRST!

(She throws one back at him. The energy balls fly past each other. Mew Two’s hits Mew and Mew’s hits Mew Two. They both faint.)

Thunder: No way.

Tai: THAT WAS SOOOO COOL!! I WANT POKEMON!

Matt H.: Wow. I’ve never seen that happen before.

Brock: Me either.

Thunder: Oh great. They fainted my co-host and stage manager.

Matt H.: We’ll help you.

Brock: Yeah!

(Kem jumps out of the audience.)

Kem: I’ll be your stage manager!

Thunder: Ok. Why not. Well Tai, we have to go to the next guest now. We’ll try to get some pokemon for you after the show.

Tai: Ok. Thanks! BYE!! Come on Agumon.

Agumon: Yeah yeah. I’m coming.

(They walk off the stage.)

Thunder: Ok. Who’s next Kem?

Kem: Next is Sora and Biyomon.

(They walk on to the stage.)

Thunder: Hi.

Sora: Hi.

Biyomon: Hello.

Brock: Did you watch that way cool pokemon battle?

Sora: We did. That was really neat. I like pokemon.

Thunder: Do YOU want to be a trainer?

Sora: Maybe.

Thunder: Do you hate the other Digidestened?

Sora: No. Not at all.

Matt H.: For real?

Sora: Yes.

Thunder: Biyomon, do you hate Sora?

Biyomon: Not at all. She is my best friend.

Matt H.: "Till the end, I will be with you...."

Brock: "We will go where our dreams come true....."

Thunder: "All the times that we have been through..."

Kem: "You will always be my best friends...."

Thunder: So any way, do you like rap music?

Sora: Not really.

Brock: Do you like Tai?

Sora: What?

Brock: The Internet said you did.

Sora: Next question.

Thunder: We forgot to ask Tai if he liked her! Damn! Next time.

Matt H.: She likes him. Any way, make Biyomon digivolve.

Sora: Why?

Thunder: Hey yeah! Do it!

Biyomon: I can’t. There’s no reason for me to.

Thunder: LAME! Next guest!

(Sora and Biyomon walk off the stage.)

Kem: Next is Matt and Gabumon.

(They walk on to the stage.)

Matt H.: Hi Matt. I’m Matt too.

Matt: Really? Neat.

Thunder: Yeah hi. So, why does Tai hate you?

Matt: Because I hate him.

Brock: Why?

Matt: I wanted to be the leader.

Thunder: SCORE!!! Why didn’t any of the Sailor Moon people say what Matt just said?

Matt: Tai is a horrible leader. I would be a much better leader.

Thunder: I can just FEEL our ratings going up.

Matt: I should have killed him when I had the chance!

Thunder: Can anyone else feel the ratings going up! Can you say cha-ching!

Brock: Are you Ok Thunder?

Thunder: YES I AM!! Me and Mew are gonna be rich! We’ll get a better time slot! We’ll get Sally and Oprah canceled! And can you say bye bye Donnie and Marie!

Matt H.: Calm down Thunder.

Matt: Was it something I said?

Thunder: YES!!

Matt: I was meaning to ask you, where can I get some of those pokemon things? They’re pretty neat.

Gabumon: Don’t you like me any more Matt?

Matt: You’re cool, but they’re way COOLER!

Thunder: You’re going to make me rich with your hatred of Tai so you can have as many pokemon as you want!

Matt: I would like to see a battle.

Brock: I have my pokemon.

Kem: And I have mine. Lets brawl.

(They take their positions.)

Thunder: This one will be a much better example.

Matt: What are those things in their hands?

Matt H.: Those are pokeballs. You catch pokemon with those. You also keep pokemon in them.

Brock: Go Onix!

Kem: I choose Dewgong!

(The pokemon come out of their pokeballs.)

Kem: Dewgong, SURF!

Brock: Onix tackle it!

(Dewgong surfs Onix and Onix faints before it can hit Dewgong.)

Brock: Damn! Return Onix. I choose Zubat!

Kem: Dewgong, ICEBEAM!

(Dewgong icebeams Zubat. Zubat is frozen solid.)

Brock: You’re good. Return Zubat. For my last pokemon, I choose Vulpix!

Kem: Dewgong, SURF... Again.

Brock: Vulpix, Fireblast!

(Vulpix escapes the surf and faints Dewgong with fireblast.)

Kem: DAMN! Return Dewgong. Go Charizard!

Brock: Vulpix tackle!

Kem: Charizard Fly!

(Charizard escapes Vulpix’s attack. It then charges down and faints Vulpix.)

Brock: Aww. Return Vulpix.

Kem: Good fight Brock.

Brock: I guess.

Matt: That was soo cool. I wish Gabumon could do that.

Gabumon: I could beat that dragon!

Kem: That is a Charizard. Charizards aren’t dragons.

Gabumon: What ever. I could beat it.

Charizard: OH YEAH.

Gabumon: YEAH! Gabumon warp digivolve to...... Metalgarurumon!

Kem: I guess I get to fight you now Matt.

Matt: I guess. Get that lizard Metalgarurumon!

Metalgarurumon: I plan to. Metal wolfclaw!

Kem: Charizard fly!

(Charizard gets hit by Metalgarurumon’s attack, but manages to hit him with a fly attack.)

Metalgarurumon: That didn’t even hurt. Metal wolfclaw!

(It hits and Charizard faints. Metalgarurumon un-digivolves.)

Gabumon: I told you I could win.

Kem: Return Charizard. Good job Gabumon.

Thunder: We really have to go to the next guest now. Do come back Matt.

Matt: I will. Thanks!

(Matt and Gabumon walk off the stage.)

Matt H.: Next Kem.

Kem: Next up is Mimi and Palmon.

Thunder: This should be quick.

(They walk on to the stage.)

Thunder: Hi.

Mimi: Hi. Can you make this quick. I saw a mall and I'm going to go shopping.

Thunder: Ok. I’ll ask you each one question, then you may go.

Mimi: Ok.

Thunder: Mimi, why do you wear that ugly hat?

Mimi: I like it.

Thunder: Ok. Palmon, do you do your nails yourself of do you go some place?

Palmon: I do them myself of course.

Thunder: Ok bye.

(Mimi and Palmon walk off the stage)

Thunder: That was quick. Next Kem.

Kem: Next is Izzy and Tentomon.

(They walk on to the stage.)

Thunder: Hi.

Izzy: Hello.

Matt H: EWWW. Is that a bug?

Tentomon: I’m a bug but I am certainly not gross.

Matt H.: You are too.

Tentomon: I AM NOT!

(Mew and Mew Two wake up.)

Mew: What happened? Did I win?

Mew Two: NO! I won, didn’t I?

Thunder: it was a tie.

Mew Two: DAMN! Oh well. Were you covering for me Kem?

Kem: Yes and I'm having fun.

Mew: What are those 2 doing?

Brock: We were covering for you.

Mew: Oh. You can keep helping if you want.

Mew Two: Are you going to help me Kem?

Kem: Yeah. Sure.

Mew: Ok. Who are we on?

Thunder: Izzy and Tentomon. You missed Sora and Biyomon, Mimi and Palmon, and Matt and Gabumon.

Mew: Damn. Ok. So Izzy, why does that old guy only talk to you?

Izzy: He talks to everyone. I’m the only person he e-mails though.

Mew: Why?

Izzy: I’m the only one with a computer.

Mew Two: Why do you talk so much?

Izzy: Ummm......

Mew: Ignore him.

Thunder: Tentomon, do you hate the other Digimon?

Tentomon: Just Agumon. He thinks he’s better than everyone else.

Thunder: Do you hate the other kids Izzy?

Izzy: No.

Brock: Have you ever wanted to be in charge? That one is to help ratings Thunder.

Izzy: No. I don’t want that kind of responsibility.

Matt H.: Are you sure you don’t hate the other Digidestened?

Izzy: Yes.

Kem: He’s lying.

Izzy: What makes you say that?

Kem: You’re doing a bad job of it. You have to hate them. The way they treat you on the show is terrible.

Izzy: FINE!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!? I HATE THEM! ALL OF THEM!! They all think they’re so special. They all get the toy deals and front row pictures and what do I get? Jack! And they had the nerve to put me behind everyone else in that magazine photo. I HATE THEM ALL!!

Thunder: Can’t you feel those ratings growing Mew?

Mew: Yep. And I see us getting the time slot we want at seven.

Thunder: You think!?

Kem: Do you want to be a pokemon trainer? Pokemon training makes me feel better.

Izzy: I just need to lie down for awhile. Come Tentomon.

(They walk of the Stage.)

Brock: That was weird. Who’s next?

Mew Two: Joe and Gomamon.

(They walk on to the stage.)

Thunder: Hi.

Joe: Hi.

Mew: Lets get this out of the way now. Do you want to be a pokemon trainer?

Joe: Naw. That’s Ok.

Thunder: Do you hate the other Digidestened?

Joe: Not all of them. Just Matt and Tai. They have ego problems.

Matt H.: You are a geek.

Thunder: He is.

Mew: You can go Joe. Gomamon, you stay.

(Joe walks off the stage.)

Mew: Do you hate Joe Gomamon?

Gomamon: Yes. Why did I get the wuss as my Digidestened child?

Thunder: I don’t know. Do you like Agumon?

Gomamon: Naw. Popularity went to his head. He’s a jerk now.

Mew: Aww. You can go now.

(He walks off the stage.)

Brock: Next.

Kem: Next is T.K. and Patamon.

(They walk on to the stage.)

Mew: Hello.

T.K.: Hi.

Kem: Did you know you’re big brother is a jerk?

T.K.: Yeah. What’s your point?

(Everyone looks shocked.)

T.K.: If you’re just going to stare at me, I'm leaving. I don’t have time for this.

Brock: Sit. Do you want to be a pokemon trainer?

T.K.: Only if I can have those 2.(Points at Mew and Mew Two)

Kem: They are mine.

T.K.: I want them.

Kem: Well you can’t have them.

T.K.: I’ll fight you for them.

Kem: Bring it on.

T.K.: Ok. Lets go Patamon.

Patamon: Patamon digivolve to....... Angemon.

Angemon: Angemon digivolve to....... Magnaangemon.

T.K.: Beat that.

Kem: You’re up Mew Two.

Magnaangemon: That is my opponent. Too weak.

T.K.: They’re as good as mine now. HA HA HA HA!

Kem: What a little brat. Mew Two, PSYCHIC!

Mew Two: Ok.

(He throws his energy at Magnaangemon. He hits.)

Magnaangemon: Was that supposed to hurt?

Mew Two: Yes. Have some more!

Magnaangemon: Ouch. I think I almost felt that one.

Kem: You do not let him talk to you like that! Get him!

Mew Two: OK!

(He does that neat thing where he gets the blue glow around them and they can’t move.)

Magnaangemon: What!? What’s happening!?

Mew Two: You’re going to hell where you belong!

Kem: Mew Two.

Mew Two: Fine.

(Mew Two just squeezes him with psychic energy till he un-digivolves.)

T.K.: What!? Magnaangemon lost!? That’s not possible!

Mew Two: Sure it is.

(He tosses Patamon aside.)

Patamon: Ouch.

T.K.: You’re mean! You’re the meanest stupid girl I've ever met!

(He runs off the stage carrying Patamon.)

Kem: Did he or did he not challenge me?

Mew: He challenged you.

Kem: That’s what I thought. Next is Kari and Gatomon. They are also the last.

(They walk on to the stage.)

Kari: Look at the cute kitty!

Mew: Me?

Kari: Yes! You are soo pretty!

Mew: Of course I am.

Gatomon: I’m a hell of a lot cuter than you.

Mew: You are not!

Gatomon: I’ll fix that!

(She lunges at Mew and tries to claw Mew’s face.)

Mew: Nice try.

(She tosses Gatomon across the room.)

Gatomon: GRRRRR!!!! Gatomon digivolve to....... Angewomon.

Angewomon: Take this! Celestial arrow!

Mew: Yawn.

(She breaks the arrow with her psychic powers.)

Angewomon: Have another!

Mew: NO! You have some of this!

(She throws a ball of psychic energy at Angewomon.)

Angewomon: Oww! That hurt but it will take more than that to defeat me!

Mew: Try this! I’ve learned a lot from Mew Two.

(She uses the same attack Mew Two used to defeat Magnaangemon. Angewomon un-digivolves)

Gatomon: Owww!!

Kari: GATOMON NOOO!!! Are you Ok?

Gatomon: No thanks to that!

Mew: The name is Mew not That.

(Gatomon angrily walks off the stage. Kari follows.)

Mew: They sucked.

Kem: For sure.

Thunder: That’s everyone? We still have time left. 20 whole minutes to be exact.

Matt H.: What do we do?

Thunder: Send Tai and Agumon out again.

Mew Two: Ok.

(Tai and Agumon come out again.)

Thunder: Welcome back. The only reason I wanted you here was so I could see Wargraymon in person.

Agumon: Ok. Agumon warp digivolve to....... Wargraymon.

Wargraymon: Here you go Thunder.

Thunder: You are soo cool. You should walk around like this all the time.

Wargraymon: That takes too much energy.

Tai: can I have some pokemon now?

Thunder: What part of "after the show" are you having trouble with?

Wargraymon: Yeah. Shut up.

Tai: Fine.

(T.K. runs out.)

T.K.: Hey stupid girl!

Kem: Are you referring to me?

T.K.: Yes. I want a rematch!

Kem: Fine.

T.K.: Ok. Help me out Gabumon!

(Gabumon runs out.)

Gabumon: Gabumon warp digivolve to...... Metalgarurumon.

Kem: No fair!

T.K.: HA! Now you can’t win. Matt told me your pokemon can’t beat him.

Wargraymon: I can beat you. Teraforce!

Metalgarurumon: Oh yeah!? Metal wolfclaw!

(Wargraymon’s attack knocks Metalgarurumon through a wall.)

Wargraymon: Oops. Sorry.

(Matt runs on to the stage)

Matt: METALGARURUMON!! T.K.! What happened!? Wargraymon? You did this didn’t you Tai!?

Tai: It wasn’t me!

Matt: It was too! Wargraymon is YOUR Digimon so you ARE responsible!

Tai: He hates me! Kem made him do it!

Thunder: We are so becoming the most popular talk show ever.

Mew: Our ratings must be through the roof!

Matt: I can’t believe you Tai! You are such a jerk!

Tai: I already told you! It’s not my fault!

Matt: How dumb do you think I am!

Tai: You must be pretty stupid because I DIDN’T DO IT!! Although I'm beginning to wish I had!

Matt: What’s that supposed to mean!

Thunder: Oh well. That’s our show for today. Tune in tomorrow to see The Powerpuff Girls. And Sailor Pluto, the newly revealed sailor scout.

Mew Two: I told you when the Sailor Moon people were here she existed.

Thunder: We also invited Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus back to tell us about their brush with death.

Mew: Sounds good. Watch everyone! BYE!!

That’s it for today’s episode of The Pikachu and Mew Show. Tune in tomorrow to see The Powerpuff Girls and three sailor scouts. Good night everyone!