Velocity
05/31
Yo yo yo chill chill
chill chill
Hey hey
Hey I'm preaching thuganomics on Velocity
We're taking over the green screen
John Cena and Saturday Night
You couldn't find a better team
But I'm frustrated.
We're underrated
We got the best show in the world
I mean Cat's always calling his momma
And Josh? He ain't never kissed a girl
Hey hey - but that's okay you pipsqueak
I'm here to save you this week
And my johnson is longer than a Joe DiMaggio hit streak
After the show
We cooking out in the Hibachi
Drinking full bottles of sake
I'm battle rapping with Funaki!
All the censors hate me
And the parents can't believe me
Cause the kids throw up the double horns
after seeing me on TV
Whether you like me or hate me
there's no way you can ignore me
They don't let me curse on TV
I'll have the crowd curse for me
You attack me
It's like acne
I pop you like a zit
'cause when you're untouchable
You don't take no []
SmackDown
06/05
Man, all this talk,
this Cruiserweight,
this Rey Mysterio this, this Matt Hardy that
these flying cruiserweights, they don't deserve a second look.
It's like the Haiti Kid beating up on Lord Littlebrook
And they're so light in the pants, they should be transvestites
I got more hits on the mic then free porno websites
I got kids carving double horns on their bathroom stall
I ain't in this for the money - LeBron James took it all.
And Chris Benoit, yea you got fans, but I don't respect you
The only Wolverine I see is in X-Men 2
And I beat up any preppy punk wearing Abercrombie and Finch
I sign his autograph first, then run away with his []
SmackDown
06/12
I'm that ill cat with
more cork in his bat than Sammy Sosa
I'm too ghetto for merchandise so kids make their own posters.
Orlando fans are in the stands throwing up them double hands
After the show, Michael Cole's going to chase some boy bands.
Tazz, calm down your man, you got to slow him down
He's got those weird posts of 'NSYNC and he's falling in love with O-Town
Funaki-san, reconsider. I'm more than you can handle, bro
I'll cut your two toned mullet and kick you dead in the camel toe [Funaki
checks]
You should go back to announcing, this whole match is a waste, man
I need to you wrestle you, you're choking yourself with your waist band.
I ain't from Orlando, but I got the magic stick
That means I'm representing your city when I grab my []
Velocity 06/22
Yo yo yo yo yo yoyo
I dominate Saturday Nights
From the second I hit the green screen
to wearing thongs and phony afros
on Confidential with Mean Gene
Hospitals are packed with wrestling fans
They're getting Saturday Night Fever
I'm scared of getting Mad Cow
that's why all I eat is beaver
And yo, I'm the best thing
you can see on weekends
Josh, you were scaring me backstage
doing those naked deep knee bends
Yo, yo yo, you stole my still last week
that's the reason I got hot, bro
I'm the best poetic genius
since Leapin' Lanny Poffo
Yo, I'm so - I'm so over the top
I'm giving censors fits
Forget the match, let's go to Hooters
so we can grab some []
SmackDown!
07/03
Undertaker's spreading
them lies to Orlando Jordan,
It’s not your yard. It’s a prison bro, and I’m the warden.
You can’t see me? I’m a legend, you should pay me some respect,
And if you’re late on paying me, I’m gonna come and collect.
So now I wrestle Mr Ass, the dude who likes to suck it,
Torrie's a cover-up bro, we know you take it in the bucket.
Hey, I’m not nervous cause you got this weird fetish with butts,
I’m scared because your favorite food is sausage and nuts.
You can’t handle the truth Billy, you’d rather feel up Chuck,
You don’t want to wrestle with me, all you want is to []
SmackDown!
07/10
Yo Yo Yo Oh ho. [Cena
chant distracts him] Yo.
You forgetting John Cena
You got rocks in brain
Your gold was Out in '96
You need sport a steel chain
Now, now, you and Brock are close friends
And Big Show, he needs a bra
That's not a triple threat match
Kurt, that's a ménage a trios
And when you all wrestle
they'll be a empty arena
the main event at Vengeance
Is Undertaker/John Cena
Yo, you're not better than me Kurt
You're not even my equal.
I'm like Terminator 3
You're like Legally Blond sequel
It makes me sick
when you come out here and run your mouth
We in the Great White North
but you can bite white south
-----
You can't see me,
dawg
Yo, you couldn't find two lines to rhyme if your brain had Lowjack
How am I gonna get out battled
by a wannabe Kojak.
SmackDown!
07/17
What? You was expecting
someone else? Now you going hate on me? That's out. 'kay I shake you right,
that's out, 'kay I'm on fire right now, you heard
You need to listen up, Undertaker
See, I've been watching you,
ever since you debut as dead man
you're full of more crap
then a supersized bed pan
And this whole thing is a front, man
you were never deceased
You'd drive from funeral to funeral
just to hit on the priest
I heard rumors on you, dawg
you used to hit on men often
I two wayed Paul Bearer
He said you shared the same coffin!
You was never a dead man
the whole time you were fakin'
and you beat John Cena?
You gravely mistaken
See, you old news, dawg
fans won't even miss you
you ain't a dead man
you just a dead issue
and at Vengeance
I'm gonna prove the big dawg is all bark
i'm gonna claim the territory
right on the mark.
word life [as he shoots a water bottle on the grave - wait no]
----
Zach can't beat you,
[my sound goes out]
He just like Ted Turner, he ain't no competition!
And the fact that he got a contract is completely pathetic
Forget about his leg, his whole career is prosthetic
Yo, this kid is crazy, he's a circus freak, half his body is plastic
He should do both of us a favor, hop his ass into traffic
Now, I guess, I guess we both got handicap matches at Vengeance, it seems
I'm fighting a Dead Man, you're fighting Christopher Reeves
Yo, yo, this kid is half-assed, you're gonna knock off his block
What's better than a one legged wrestler? Being able to walk!
That's right, you do your thing playa, you do your thing
SmackDown!
07/24
Yo yo yo yo yo yo
Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt you Steph
I had this dream about you last night
You had me standing at attention
I can't wait to see you catfight
[distracted by breasts - Stephanie corrects his gaze]
Oh, sorry, I lost my concentration
I was looking at your...targets?
And at Vengeance
hopefully I find out if the curtain match the carpet
No, I mean, I be glued to the boob tube
No, you gonna beat Sable completely
You're making each one of my five girlfriends jealous [hand]
each one of them wants to beat me [fist]
You and Sable fighting?
That's good for my health
Something about you
makes me keep in touch with my...self
Hey, hey, no that's okay, okay. Here's $20,
please rip Sable's top off
I got this fetish with nipples
I'll definitely get my rocks off
And Sable's just a ho
You're a Diva with class
Nobody's watching us, Steph
why don't you let me smack that ass !
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