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I know the Lord has sent you here! If you love the Lord you already know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to His purpose. Rom 8:28. Six years or so ago I wouldn't have told you this because I was in such a dark place in my life that I doubted there even was a God, and if there was I was sure I wasn't worthy of any blessing from Him. I praise the Lord Almighty for saving me from my despair and freeing me in His Grace.
When I was five years old, my mother joined the Seventh-day Adventist church. I was at the end of my kindergarten year and about to graduate into first grade. I remember going to a big auditorium and seeing my mother being baptized. I didn't know how dramatically this would impact my entire life.
I attended SDA schools 1st-12th and was baptized at the age of ten. I was obedient for the most part, I believed in the church as I grew older, but so many questions were always in my mind. At around age 11, I had a terrible stomach ache and prayed to God that if He would take my stomach ache away I would read the Bible everyday for the rest of my life. It immediately went away and I had a promise to keep, praise the Lord for that stomach ache! For the next 9 or 10years I kept my promise and at times the scriptures troubled me. I remember around the 9th grade reading Romans 14 and feeling very confused. Paul says "One person esteems one day above another; another esteems everyday alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day observes it to the Lord" I thought, well that seems pretty clear but surely it doesn't mean what I think it means. Then he went on to say he considers nothing unclean in itself..... These verses troubled me, lots of things troubled me. I thought about Billy Graham and what a great man of God he seemed to be and thought, "Why doesn't he know about the sabbath?" I'd pass a church of some other denomination and see it being built on to and think, "Why are they being blessed with more members?" As I got older I started noticing the attitudes and lives of other christians and could see and feel their joy and when I went to my own church I saw a group of people with solemn faces, little emotion, they all seemed so sad to me. I knew I was sad but it must be because I wasn't trying hard enough to be close to God. I tried to read the Bible but it became a chore and I tried to read Ellen White but even as a child I didn't like her and could never seem to find any common ground with her. She seemed like an extremist to me and I avoided her. As I became an adult, I drifted away from God and my faith, went through two failed marriages and at age 32, with 3 kids, a decent job, a relatively comfortable life, I decided maybe there wasn't a God and I had spent my whole life not having any fun for nothing. I never became a junky or an alcoholic. I don't have any great street-to-God testimony to share with you. I was just like a lot of people in this world, living an empty,society-productive, mundane life that brought little joy.
In 2001 I bought a house in a new neighborhood and some neighbors moved in beside us. We became friends quickly and after a few months they started going to church. Oh no! They wouldn't be any fun anymore! After a couple of weeks they asked us to go, I said no, God forbid, it was on a Sunday! After a few hundred times of asking I realized they weren't giving up so I went ahead and went. When we drove up I thought, "What am I doing here?" (You know the song- "Mama Told Me Not To Go") I'd been warned! It was held in a barn and that didn't bother me but these Sunday keepers were the enemy right? When I walked in, the people stood up one by one and hugged me and my kids and greeted us like they'd known us for years! When I met the preacher I could see a peace in him that I knew without a doubt to be God in his life. I didn't want to go back because I was not in my comfort-zone, even though I liked it, I got a strong blessing from the sermon, I just didn't want to go back. As it turned out, we started going every time the doors opened. I felt closer to God than ever before, but I was confused. I knew I better get busy studying my Bible so that I could show these people the truth!
