"I feel sorry for people who don't drink; because when they wake-up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel all day." Frank Sinatra
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." -- Frank Zappa
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -- Ernest Hemmingway
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." -- W.C. Fields
"Work is the curse of the drinking class." -- Oscar Wilde
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." -- Humphrey Bogart
"I drink to make other people interesting." -- George Jean Nathan
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." -- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
"Beer ain't drinking." Jason Michael (Opie)
"This tequila's slow poison." Kevin Rodby "Yeah, but we're in no hurry." Jason Michael
"Them's pukin' abs." Richard Snell
Misogynistic Quotes
"Go ugly early, or go home alone." Unknown
"She had a face like a bucket of half-blended turtles." Richard Snell (B.C.)
"I'd charity-chop her." Ben Joerg on banging a marginal foof
"She's got a rough helmet" Richard Snell (a.k.a. Sick Rick) on a foof with a nasty face
"Never bring sand to the beach" Unknown on bringing a foof to the bars with you
"Just remember: Girls like it too". Richard Snell's father
"When you fuck your girlfriend make sure to fuck her good because then you get to fuck all of her friends". Richard Snell's father
"You've got to go early so you can get some wood". Johnny Miller's philosophy on the best way to meet women at the bars-get there early and get a bar spot
"Who's going to take the grenade?" Unknown on taking the nasty one of two girlfriends so his boy can score
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