In the beginning God created heaven and earth.
Well, God certainly has a nifty opening line for his story. It grabs the reader's attention in a compelling and exciting way. It is simple, yet effective without being gimmicky or forced.
Most writers find the opening line and/or opening paragraph to be the hardest thing to write. Along with the title of the story, the opening sentence is the deciding factor for many readers in whether the story is read through to the end.
In writing your opening sentence, you want to set the tone for the story and compel the reader to continue. One of the best examples of a knockout first sentence is from "The Devil's Instant" by Maria Nicole.
Three days after the death of Donnie Pfaster, Mulder found himself standing in front of his closet, overtaken by a sudden and desperate wish for a pair of high heeled shoes.
The reader cannot help herself; she must find out why the heck Mulder needs high heels. While the story is actually quite serious, it has a wry, sharp style that the opening line tells the reader to expect.
Case files generally begin with a "teaser" mimicking The X-Files itself. This short scene introduces the mystery to the reader and usually contains some action. Teasers lend themselves well to exciting opening lines and/or paragraphs. Grab the reader with a peek at what Mulder and Scully have in store for them as they investigate.
Malus Genius by Plausible Deniability and Maybe Amanda has one of the best "hooks" in its first sentence, carried out in the rest of the first paragraph:
There was a little wart-covered demon in Mr. Kopeck's desk. He couldn't tell people about it because they would think he was crazy, but if he opened the file drawer and peeked inside, he could see two yellow, malevolent eyes glowing at him from the dark interior. The worst part was, in a few minutes Mrs. Chernoff was supposed to take over his seventh period class, so he could talk to Principal Waters about that unfortunate incident last week.
This story has a humorous style and the reader knows that from the very first line. The reader learns something about the demon, but also gets a real feel for Mr. Kopeck, the main original character in this story.
An effective way to hook your reader is with a description that conjures up the atmosphere in which the story takes place. Make the reader feel the humidity in the air, the raw wind, the permeating sadness and you've got them hooked and given them an indication of what is going to come next.
"Windows" by Jesemie's Evil Twin is an amazing example of an opening that grips you with the description of the atmosphere in which the story takes place.
I escaped from a city unraveling with smoggy stars, into a building that gaped like a saw-toothed trap, to watch while Scully knelt in a creek of crimson, Mulder's crumpled form beside her both wet with blood and the pale of death.
This is a wrenching, post-colonization story that takes the reader on a frightening journey. The opening line pulls the reader right into that dark world.
Longer stories that are divided into chapters can use the same methods for the opening line of each chapter. Treating each chapter as an individual story and giving each "story" a strong opening line will ensure the reader retains her interest right to the end.
Stories that begin with a cliche, such as "It had been a very long day/week/month/year," may set the tone for the story, but in such an uninteresting way that the reader feels no impetus to continue. Yes, it has been a long week for Mulder and Scully. Tell me how long it has been in a way that makes me want to keep reading.
Opening lines that feel the need to introduce the characters with their full names and detailed descriptions can also send the reader's hand to the delete button. "Special Agent Fox William Mulder's, brilliant, hazel-eyed criminal profiler, glanced up as his diminutive red-haired partner, Special Agent Dana Scully walked into the X-Files basement office." The vast majority of your readers are going to be familiar with the characters' names, appearances, jobs, etc. Telling the reader things she already knows will bore and annoy her.
Beyond the opening line, remember that excessive comments, author's notes, in jokes, and dedications may turn some readers away. If they have to slog through line after line before even getting to your opening line, they may abandon the story, no matter how good the beginning sentence is. If I have more than a short thank you to my beta readers, I direct the reader to the author's notes at the end of the story. There is a better chance the reader will take the time to read my notes if they liked the story enough to get to the end.
If you haven't read the stories used as examples, I urge you to go to the URLs below as fast as you can:
Devil's Instant:
http://www.oocities.org/Hollywood/Derby/5520/devilsinstant.txt
Malus Genius:
http://www.oocities.org/Area51/Dreamworld/2528/mgtitle.html
Windows:
http://alanna.net/JET/windows.txt
Check out Michelle’s first lines, and every other sentence of her stories at http://members.aol.com/msrsmut/MichelleKiefer.htm !