How do I beta thee? Article

How do I beta thee? Let me count the ways...

Hi, this is Cofax. Lysandra and I have teamed up to talk about how we do beta, and maybe show a little bit about how the results can differ depending on who you ask to beta a story for you. Lysandra and I are friends, but we're not much alike -- about the only things we have in common are our fondness for XF, our age, and the fact that we dye our hair. Our differences extend to our writing and editing habits. I'm going to start with a description of how I edit, and then Lysandra is going to talk about how she goes about it. What we hope you'll learn is that it can be a real advantage having two or more editors on a project, depending on what you hope to gain from the beta-process.

Usually I don't take on a new writer for beta unless I know them pretty well. It's not that I don't want to help, but I'm pressed for time between my job, my own writing, and my other beta obligations. Sometimes, however, someone will ask whom I just can't refuse -- a friend or a completely fabulous writer for whom it would be an honor to beta. Then I will do my best to squeeze the story in.

At any rate, first I sit down and read the whole story start to finish. This does a couple of things for me. First, it keeps me from getting so wrapped up in the story that I forget to edit. Second, it helps me keep the story flow in mind when I look for plotting problems or characterization oddities. As you might expect, this makes editing a WIP a bit of a problem for me: I haven't done one yet. So I read the whole story, and occasionally I'll make a note, but really I'm just reading for fun.

When I start actually editing, if I can, I'll print out the story and use a red pen. Reading it on paper makes it easier to concentrate on large sections of text, and I can flip back and forth more easily. (Also, I can bring the story on the bus or to the gym to read on the StairMaster.) What I comment on might depend on what the writer has asked for, how much time I have, what stage the story is in, and who else is on the beta-list. Someone who is pretty secure with where the story is going might ask just for a check on the Scully characterization, for instance. If a story is really rough, in its first draft, I may skip the detailed line-by-line beta in order to focus on plotting and logic. If one of the other betas is someone I can trust to catch the "its/it's," the dangling antecedents, and the comma splices (like Lysandra), then I won't focus on grammar and syntax, which aren't my strong points anyway. I'm an intuitive writer and although I can usually spot gross errors, I never took a grammar class so I might miss the little problems.

Generally, I watch for awkward or confusing language, characterization, plot logic, emotional weight, and sentimentality. I don't think XF is a particularly sentimental show, and neither are the characters, most of the time. Things on the show tend to be understated, and I like my fic that way, so I'm one of the de-shmoopers.

I'm also a "show-don't-tell" junkie. I live for the telling detail, where you find out that the suspect longs for better things when it's revealed that he glued a Jaguar hood ornament on the hood of his 1993 Civic. If a writer doesn't give me any detail about what's going on or what the environment is or what Mulder's shirt feels like when Scully crumples it in her fists, well, I'm going to comment on that. I think fanfic is particularly susceptible to lazy story-telling because we all *know* what Mulder's apartment looks like, we all have an image or a sense of what Scully's hair smells like, and that means a lot of writers don't bother with the details. I've seen a lot of stories that were just story-skeletons, because the writers felt no need to flesh them out, to ground them in the moment. And that's one of my pet peeves.

Getting back to the beta: I'm also going to comment on point of view. I'm a bit too hung up on point of view at the moment, but I think it's a fascinating tool to use for story-telling if used with discipline. A story told within limited points of view allows the writer to control the amount of information she feeds to the audience, which in turn allows her to control the reader's reaction to the story. If I catch a sentence that is clearly not within the POV of the rest of the scene, I will comment on it. If I find too much of that, I start getting cranky. Bouncing POVs give me a headache. There are a number of excellent articles about POV and technique here at Working Stiffs, and I recommend them to you.

I'm hung up on story-logic too. The show takes leaps of logic that no fanfic writer I beta for would be allowed <g>. Coincidences and complete scientific impossibilities make me squirm. This is one reason why I like to read the whole story first, in order to make sure that the end is adequately set up by the beginning and the middle. (I read the bulk of "Arizona Highways" three times, I think.) Pulling an ending out of a hat is guaranteed to make me grumble. It's the writer's decision to do that, of course, but I will let her know when something like that bothers me.

On a completely practical level, what a writer I beta for gets back is something that looks like this:

OK, WriterX. I liked it, I did. It's creative and you have a very unusual take on the Ship. I really like some of your language use, as well -- you have a nice eye for detail. But I have some concerns about Langly's reaction to the Mulder/Byers/Fowley triangle in the third section. I don't think I can see him running off to join the circus after seeing what he saw. Also, the first section is all in present tense, first person, while the last two sections are in 3rd person past. Do you want that big a difference, given that it's all Langly POV anyway?

Here's my standard disclaimer: this is all my opinion (except for the typos -- those are the opinion of the Oxford English Dictionary <g>). Take my recommendations or leave them, as you see fit. I am not a professional, I'm just doing this for fun.

[Suggested Deletions]
(Suggested Additions)
//Comments//

And then I go into the detailed beta. If I have a LOT of comments, I'll use the entire text of the story, and insert my comments where appropriate. If I don't have many, I'll just use the parts of the text that I comment on. I try to do beta in a Word document so I don't have to be online for the entire thing, unless it's really short. I'm constantly afraid that my ISP will crash while I'm beta-ing something and I'll lose all my comments.

One thing I always make sure to do is insert helpful, supportive comments in amongst the critical ones. I'm pretty thick-skinned about my writing, and I want to do better, so I can take some pretty severe criticism. But not every writer can, and I don't want to scare anyone away. So I try to make sure I always find something good to say about the story, even if I didn't like it much. And because a lot of this is opinion anyway, I do like to insert qualifiers so the writer doesn't think this is the voice of God -- she has the option to ignore everything I say, as my comments are purely my own reactions to the story. (An example of my beta is at the end of this article, compared with Lysandra editing the same section. I think you'll find the differences illuminating.)

On the other hand, I think beta in general is a very good thing. On the small scale, it catches stuff the writers simply cannot see anymore -- typos, awkward phrasing, and so forth. On the greater scale, it can challenge the writer to do much better than she thought she could. It can help refine the characterization, find holes in the plot, and bring up themes to carry through the work that she didn't even know were there.

Frankly, I LOVE the beta-process. It's helped my writing in more ways than I can articulate, and I have betas who have become friends that I know I will call upon if I ever get around to writing original fiction for publication.

This is Lysandra:

I stumbled into beta reading when a stranger on Scullyfic said she had a story that needed beta. I'd just been on the receiving end of some very good beta, and thought it sounded like fun. I've always had a facility for grammar and spelling, and figured I might as well put it to use. I hit it lucky that time; the person asking for beta was a very good writer, and took criticism well. I'm not always the most tactful person, and I worry that some of my comments might hurt writers' feelings if they don't already know me. So these days I pretty much only do beta for friends. My friends happen to be a talented and prolific bunch, and I'm kept plenty busy.

Cofax has described her plan of attack on a story -- she reads it through, start to finish, before beginning her beta. I do the opposite, for a few reasons. First, I tend to beta in my head whenever I read, so it's difficult for me to read without mentally adding commentary and fixing mistakes. Second, I like to just blurt out my comments willy-nilly as to the plot and the way the story's written, so the author knows what I'm thinking while I'm reading it for the first time. If there's a big surprise at the end of the story and I see it ahead of time, or if I don't see it coming at all, the author will still get my comments as they come to me, and they'll know where a person of average intelligence 'gets' the big turning point of the story. I also tend to have the memory of a gnat, and ask questions to make sure I'm not missing some big plot point. When doing beta for Fialka's fabulous "Arizona Highways," I wouldn't go back to check if a plot point confused me; instead, I'd simply ask if I was mistaken or if I'd merely forgotten something that had happened previously in the story. This method helps the author (I hope) figure out if a plot point is too vague or if it gets lost somehow in a complicated story with many facts and plotlines.

I'm a bit of an "every reader." I have friends who see plot twists coming, and can guess the killer's identity after the first few chapters of a novel. I, however, am not one of those people, as far as plot is concerned. I'm an absolute whiz with spelling, grammar, and word usage, but a complicated plot will send me spinning. (This is why, if you have a twisty plot, it's good to have more than one beta, and make sure at least one of them is like Cofax; she understands plot and is an avid reader of mysteries.)

The authors who get beta from me know my strong points and generally trust me with their words, which is quite an honor. I try not to abuse the privilege, but I do tend to rewrite sentences that are awkward or overly long. This brings up another important point: when I beta for someone, especially for the first time, I tell them that all my suggestions are just that -- suggestions -- and that the writer is free to take or leave anything that I say in the beta. I might get a little pissy, however, if the author doesn't take my suggestions on spelling and/or grammar. I check spelling carefully and I'm pretty confident when I make a grammar correction. Other than those things, however, it's the author's story to tell, and she is free to discard any of my suggestions. I try to explain *why* I'm asking for a specific change; it might be a Britishism, a problem with an antecedent, a confusing point of view, a comma splice, or simply that a sentence or phrase "seems kinda weird to me."

I'm also big on telling an author when Scully or Mulder seems out of character, either in dialogue or actions within the story. Characterization is tricky in fanfic, since we all see the characters through our own eyes, and many people write stories precisely to "fix" an episode or put forth their own version of the characters. There's not much in the show that specifically supports the idea that either Mulder or Scully is gay, for instance, but there is plenty of fanfic that says otherwise. I'll give quite a bit of leeway regarding a character's actions in fanfic, as long as they fit the universe the author has set forth. If the universe is miles off from what we see on the show, I'd want the author to set it up thoroughly. I'm a little less tolerant of dialogue that seems to be out of character. I love getting into discussions with an author about the characters' motivations, the author's reason for writing the story, the author's hopes as to what a reader might get out of the story, and that kind of thing. One of the best things about beta reading is not only getting to read a story before everyone else does, but also getting some insight into the writer's mind. Sure, these discussions often get off track and I'll just end up gabbing with an author, but that's half the fun.

Speaking of gabbing, I have often done live beta on IM. It can be very fun, since the beta and the author can ask questions and get an immediate answer. It's the difference between a phone conversation and a letter -- immediate feedback can lead to immediate changes, and sometimes the story will veer off in a completely different direction than the author originally intended -- in a good way. The only caution I offer to writers who want real-time beta is that some people are shy or don't want to argue, and thus might make changes they don't really want, merely to avoid hurting their beta reader's feelings. The distance of e-mail gives a writer the chance to take what they want, leave what they don't want, and the time to explain why they agreed or disagreed with the beta, without the pressure of the beta reader being *right there* and waiting for an answer. Beta in e-mail is easy to save, too; I also recommend saving chats or IMs so you can refer back later if you need to.

If you know your beta reader well, and have worked with her before, there is usually a comfort level that helps avoid problems. I would encourage beta readers to find out a bit about authors and their stories before agreeing to read for them. I've heard quite a few horror stories, most of which could have been avoided with better communication between author and beta. Before I read a story, I want to know the genre, the length, whether it's a standalone, a WIP, or part of a series, and what kind of beta the writer is looking for. Does she want a quick read-through for typos only, or does she want deep-massage beta that might be a little painful but which will ultimately help her write the best possible story? Does she want to post the story in an hour, or is she willing to rewrite it and post next week?

Here's what *I* look for in a beta reader:
--Knowledge of the English language -- the more in-depth, the better. I want there to be no spelling or grammar mistakes in a story by the time it gets posted.
--Knowledge of "The X-Files" and its characters.
--An eye for detail.
--Imagination. If a sentence is clunky, my betas and I tend to rewrite it for each other; sometimes the person who wrote it just can't possibly come up with a different way to say it, and a beta reader will fix it in a jiffy.
--Encouragement. It can't be stated strongly enough how important this is. I think this is where I fall short as a beta myself, since I get bogged down in sentence structure, characterization, and mechanics, and sometimes forget to tell the people I read for just how good they are, or if a passage particularly touches me or makes me laugh, or if a turn of phrase is really beautiful. We had a discussion a while back about self-esteem, and even the most prolific, praised and revered authors seem to feel that they completely suck. <g> I think that beta readers, like professional editors, can be quite helpful in keeping an author on task by convincing her she's worthy of the writing, and that people will enjoy her story. If she ever finishes it, that is.

Like Cofax, I think beta reading has helped my writing and introduced me to some great friends -- I'm now looking into copyediting as a career. Better living through fanfic; who'da thunk it??

What a LysandraBeta looks like:
[ suggested additions ]
{ suggested deletions }
( comments & questions )

You'll notice that Cofax's beta marks are different than mine, so keep that in mind when reading the excerpt below.

****

OK, this is Cofax. I'm going to do beta on a snippet of fic generously written for this purpose by the very talented Token. First you'll see my beta, then Lysandra's. With any luck there should be some differences.

Here's the original:

Fox shuffled his feet uncomfrotably because he was uncomfrotable with telling Scully how he felt. Beeds of sweat formed on his brow as he spoke the words he had always wanted to speak. But he did not, choosing to instead let her vent her wrath at him for what he had done.

"Mulder," Scully shrieked, "you set us up the bomb! I can't belive you let us get sucked into that." Dana's face was twisted with rage. "I didn't mean to do it, Scully," Mulder replied with a doleful smile. "But it did. And I'm not sure if I can forgive you for it."

Mulder thought quickly for something to do to stop her. "What you say?" He asked. Finally, he decided that actions must speak louder than words, since his words were having little effect, and Dana's were so loud.

He reaches out and grabbed the back of her hair. He pulled her towards him.

"Mulder!" She hooted as he drew his mouth closer to his. "What have you done," she wailed.

He pressed his mouth to hers, drawing her close in a deeply heartfelt smooch. Take that, Scully, he thought to himself. Let's see how you fare with a mouth full of Special Agent Fox Mulder's tounge.

Boy howdy, as my dad used to say, Scully thought. He's finally kissed me. This fucking rules. I guess I'm not so mad at him after all. He's so cute. All my hearts is bleong to him.

***

Here's Cofax's beta:

[Suggested deletions]
(suggested additions)
//comments//

Fox //Even if Mulder thinks of himself as "Fox" the readers don't. I *strongly* recommend you change this to "Mulder."// shuffled his feet uncomfrotably //uncomfortably// [because he was uncomfrotable with telling Scully how he felt].//OK, you already told us he's uncomfortable; that shows us enough.// Be[e](a)ds of sweat formed on his brow as he spoke the words he had always wanted to speak. But he did not, choosing [to] instead (to) let her vent her wrath at him for what he had done. //Wait, wait, if he spoke them, he spoke them. Say he formed them instead.//

"Mulder," Scully shrieked,//Scully NEVER shrieks unless someone threatens Mulder's life or someone puts a slug in her spine.// ["you set us up the bomb!]//Say WHAT? what does this mean? I suggest you delete that phrase entirely.// I can't beli(e)ve you let us get sucked into that." [Dana](Scully)'s face was twisted with rage. //insert a paragraph break here because you are changing speakers//

"I didn't mean to do it, Scully," Mulder replied with a doleful smile. //insert another paragraph break here//

"But [it](you) did. And I'm not sure if I can forgive you for it."

Mulder [thought quickly for something to do to](tried to think of something that would) stop her.//Stop her from doing what?// "[What you say](What do you mean)?" He asked. Finally, //How finally? He's said one phrase -- where does "finally" come in? This confuses me.// he decided that actions must speak louder than words, since his words were having little effect, and [Dana](Scully)'s were so loud.//That's pretty funny.//

He [reaches out and] grabbed the back of her hair[. He](and) pulled her towards him.

"Mulder!" She hooted//Hooted? I don't think so -- try something else.// as he drew his mouth closer to his. "What [have you done](are you doing?)" she [wailed](asked).

He pressed his mouth to hers, drawing her close in a deep[ly](, and) heartfelt(,) smooch. Take that, Scully, he thought to himself. Let's see how you fare with a mouth full of Special Agent Fox Mulder's to[u]ng(u)e. //Snork. Am I supposed to laugh here? Because this is pretty funny.//

//I'm not sure if you intended this, but you have a POV-switch right here. Since the rest of the story is written in Mulder POV, perhaps you should keep it that way. You could have Scully simply melt into his arms, which would show the reader her reaction without having to tell us so explicitly.//

Boy howdy, as my dad used to say, Scully thought. //Scully's father was a Captain in the US Navy. I sincerely doubt he ever said "boy howdy"// He's finally kissed me. [This fucking rules.] I guess I'm not so mad at him after all. He's so cute. [All my hearts is bleong to him.]// Um, er, I have NO idea what to put there. But that simply MUST go. I'm sorry. Maybe you could say "I guess I love him after all." Or something. Sigh.//

//Um, well, that was... interesting. I suggest you find a good dictionary and run a spell-check on everything you write before you send to beta. It will save your betas the trouble of making all these corrections. Also, I think we have a rather different conception of the characters; I'm not entirely sure that I'm the right beta for you. I see both Scully and Mulder as extremely reserved individuals. I also think that if Mulder tried to kiss Scully to stop an argument, she might not slug him but she'd certainly let him have it verbally.//

OK, done with the beta. As you might guess, this is a far more detailed beta than most I do, because this snippet of story is so fraught with problems. If I end up sending a story back where the comments outweigh the text, I know there's a real problem and the story isn't ready for beta yet. *****

Here's Lysandra's beta:
[ suggested additions ]
{ suggested deletions }
( comments & questions )

{Fox} [Mulder] shuffled his feet {uncomfrotably} [uncomfortably] because he was {uncomfrotable} [uncomfortable] with telling Scully how he felt. (Actually, I'd delete one of those, the first 'uncomfortably.') {Beeds} [Beads] of sweat formed on his brow as he {spoke} [thought about voicing] the words he had always wanted to speak. (<--See, if he doesn't actually say the words, you can't say he spoke them.) But he did not, choosing to instead let her vent her wrath at him for what he had done.

"Mulder," Scully shrieked, "you set us up the bomb! (Um, what does that mean?? Also, Scully rarely shrieks. Can she exclaim or shout, perhaps?) I can't {belive} [believe] you let us get sucked into that." {Dana's} [Scully's] face was twisted with rage. [New paragraph here for the new speaker-->] "I didn't mean to do it, Scully," Mulder replied with a doleful smile. "But {it} [I] did. And I'm not sure if I can forgive you for it." (Token, you need to be more clear here. Is there a bomb? Sucked into what? What did Mulder set up? What is it that Mulder can't forgive Scully for doing?)

Mulder thought quickly for something to do to stop her. {"What you say?"He} ["What are you saying?" he] asked. Finally, he decided that actions must speak louder than words, since his words were having little effect, and {Dana's} [Scully's] were so loud. (Using "Fox" or "Dana" in fanfic is pretty much a no-no, unless you set up a darn good reason for it.)

He {reaches} [reached] out and grabbed the back of her hair. He pulled her towards him. (Either 'towards' or 'toward' is technically correct, but I prefer the latter.)

"Mulder!" {She} [she] hooted as he drew his mouth closer to his. (<-- one of those 'his' needs to be a 'her' -- did he draw her mouth closer to his? Also, I doubt she hooted.) "What have you done{,}[?]" she wailed. (Is that what you mean? Or is she asking "What are you doing?")

He pressed his mouth to hers, drawing her close in a deeply heartfelt {smooch}[kiss]. ("Smooch" is a sort of 'wacky' word... if it's deeply heartfelt, it's not really a smooch. <g> "Heartfelt embrace" might be a better phrase there.) Take that, Scully, he thought {to himself} (If he's thinking it, it *must* be to himself). Let's see how you fare with a mouth full of Special Agent Fox Mulder's {tounge} [tongue].

{Boy howdy, as my dad used to say} [Wow], Scully thought. He's finally kissed me. This {fucking rules}[is amazing]. I guess I'm not so mad at him after all. {He's so cute.} {All my hearts is bleong to him.} [My heart belongs to him.] (All those Scullythoughts don't sound much like her to me ... she's not a teenager. Also, the rest of the fic has been from Mulder's POV, and this end bit is Scully's POV. I'd stick with a single POV in a piece this short.)

(You've got a good start here, Token, but I think it needs some fleshing out. If you want a fight-leading-to-first-kiss scenario, I would like to know what they're fighting about. It doesn't have to be anything major, but it should be mentioned. I had some trouble with some of your syntax so I suspect you're not a native English speaker, and that's where a beta will help you a lot. I'd like to hear back from you so I can get a better idea of what you want to say with your story. I know I can be a harsh beta reader, but I tend to just mention anything that stops me when I'm reading, and I'm a stickler when it comes to English grammar. Please tell me if you don't understand or have questions about any of my suggestions.)

I have been asked to beta things that are nearly this bad in the past, believe it or not. I found it very difficult to know where to start -- if the person is not a native speaker of English, that gives me hope, though. Heaven knows what a story of mine would look like if I attempted to write using my high school Spanish! I doubt I would carry on reading for this person after this story was posted, however; I think I've gotten a bit snobby and spoiled since I've been privileged to beta read for some of the of the best fanfic writers around. I also tend to get very burnt out on beta reading at times, and find I have to slow down to concentrate on other things -- like my own writing.

Thus ends our treatise on beta. Being beta readers, we couldn't resist reading over each other's sections -- and being smart, we asked for outside help, too. We both thank shannono for her beta on our essay!

If you have comments or questions, please send them to Lysandra@mediaone.net and cofax@rocketmail.com. We'd love to hear from you!