- It should be noted, before I begin this review, that the lack of English commentary or graphics sometimes make it difficult to identify who is who. This is especially tough in the six-man tag matches. I’ve done my best to get the names right by searching the Net for pictures and bios, but I’ll apologize ahead of time for any errors I make. Oh, and the majority of matches are clipped so they won’t get ratings. If you want to know what the match is like, you’ll actually have to read the blow-by-blow.
- Opening montage of the clean and happy people of Japan filing into Kawasaki Stadium. This is the biggest show of the year for FMW. It’s their annual supercard, if you will, their World War III or Ground Zero. The crowd footage is intercut with brief clips from the matches.
- The crowd, by the way, is absolutely HUGE. Even discounting the enormous ringside area, they must have packed a ton of people into the stadium. It easily puts the crowds at most WWF pay-per-views to shame.
(1) Tetsuhiro Kuroda vs. Gosaku Goshogawara
The two men circle and almost immediately the match is clipped. Goshogawara pounds the arm, but Kuroda trips him and lays a couple of
stiff kicks to the knee. An elbowdrop to the knee is followed by another clip. Kuroda wraps the leg around his knee until Goshogawara
plants a foot in Kuroda’s face and pushes him away. Goshogawara pushes Kuroda against the ropes and lays in with a chop, right-handed
slap, left-handed slap, back to the right. Another pair of slaps ticks off Kuroda, who reverse positions with Goshogawara and fires away with
some slaps of his own. Whip into the ropes, Kuroda’s dropkick connects. Cover gets 2. Off a dropkick? Goshogawara wraps up Kuroda in
a small package for 2. Clip. Goshogawara whips Kuroda into the ropes, back elbow finds the mark. Snapmare and jumping legdrop gets 2.
Clip. Goshogawara follows a kick to the gut with a side headlock, but gets pushed into the ropes. He floors Kuroda with a shoulderblock
on the rebound, though, and hits the ropes again. Over Kuroda, who leaps up and connects with another dropkick. Kneedrop from Kuroda.
Half-crab is applied and Goshogawara is struggling to reach the ropes. It looks like he’s bleeding from the mouth - surely this is the gore that
FMW is so famous for? Goshogawara reaches the ropes and the hold is broken. Kuroda delivers a couple of stomps to the back before
dragging his opponent from the ropes. Kneedrop squarely on the back is followed by another half-crab from Kuroda, and Goshogawara
submits. (2:14 of 9:28 shown.) Even without the clipping, I suspect this match would have been underwhelming.
(2) Battle Ranger, Masato Tanaka, and Koji Nakagawa vs. Great Sasuke, Shiryu, and Hanzo Nakajima
Koji and Hanzo circle each other and we get our first clip. Koji hits the ropes and gets a dropkick from Hanzo. Clip. Hanzo ducks Koji’s
clothesline, gives him his leg to catch, and uses the other one to kick him in the face. Hanzo does a nice kip-up and there’s another clip. I
think we can say goodbye to the flow of this match. Battle Ranger and Shiryu circle each other. Lock up. Shiryu gets a waistlock and drops
Ranger to the mat. Mat wrestling sequence over a headlock is won by Shiryu, but Ranger escapes and turns it into an armbar. Shiryu flips
over and uses the momentum to fling Ranger to the mat. He kips up and emits a little “woop woop!” Clip. Now it’s Tanaka and Sasuke in
the ring. Tanaka whips Sasuke into the corner. Sasuke backflips off the top turnbuckle, though, and backdrops Tanaka when he charges.
Jumping back kick finds Tanaka’s shoulder. Tanaka is whipped to the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and nails Sasuke with a clothesline. Clip.
Wow, how did Battle Ranger suddenly appear in the ring? It’s magic! Sasuke is whipped to the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and takes down
Ranger with a spinning heel kick. Another clip. Tanaka chops Shiryu back into the corner, whips him across the ring, and follows in with a
flying forearm. Another whip, but Shiryu slings over the charging Tanaka, does a backflip in celebration, and makes the international gesture
of “c’mere.” Tanaka obliges, Shiryu leapfrogs him, and they do a funny little dance in unison where they jump in the air and scissor their
legs. Is Tanaka taunting one of Shiryu’s trademark moves? Anyway, Shiryu immediately backflips off the top turnbuckle over a charging
Tanaka before hiptossing and dropkicking him. A celebratory flip and “woop!” is followed by a clip. Sasuke whips Ranger to the corner.
Ranger slings over and leapfrogs the charging Sasuke, who gets caught with a bodypress off the top rope from Koji. Shiryu grabs him for a
Sasuke chop, but Koji escapes and the chop finds Shiryu’s chest instead. Koji with a double chop to both men. Tanaka suddenly flies off the
top and hits both men with a bodypress of his own! Hanzo’s stomp on Tanaka misses and he awkwardly falls between his two partners.
Ranger hits a splash off the top onto all three men; Koji and Tanaka join the cover and get 2. The timing of a triple sunset flip spot is
hindered when Ranger can’t quite get over Sasuke (Tanaka gets Shiryu and Koji gets Hanzo). It gets 2. The other side responds with a nice-
looking triple huracanrana spot that gets 2. Hanzo dropkicks Tanaka through the ropes before scoring with a wicked plancha off the top to
the floor. Koji’s plancha connects with Hanzo, but Shiryu takes him down with an insane somersault tope! Ranger kicks Shiryu
squarely in the head and hits him with an Asai moonsault. Sasuke finishes the train wreck sequence with the Flying Space Tiger Drop onto
Ranger! It looks like he smacked his forehead on the apron on the way down. Clip takes us back in the ring. Shiryu whips Tanaka to the
corner, but gets caught with a Tanaka bodypress for 2. Tanaka with a bodyslam. Clip. Tanaka’s dropkick from the top gets 2. He hits the
ropes and gets planted with a Shiryu huracanrana for 2. Clip. A Shiryu moonsault gets 2 before Koji breaks it up. Sasuke springs off the top
rope and catches Koji with a dropkick. Clip. Sasuke sends Koji to the ropes, runs the opposite way, and moonsaults off the second rope
onto Koji for 2! Sasuke drags his thumb across his throat and slaps on the Octopus. Ranger breaks it with a leg lariat to the back of
Sasuke’s head. Hanzo comes in, whips Ranger to the ropes, and catches him on the rebound with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Clip. Ranger is
up top, Hanzo stops him with a shot to the gut and tries a superplex. He gets a headbutt and falls off. When he stands up, Ranger leaps and
wraps him up with an ugly-looking huracanrana for the 1, 2, 3. (4:37 of 18:49 shown.) I don’t think it’s necessary to comment on
the idiocy of showing four-and-a-half minutes of a near twenty minute match, so let’s move on.
(3) Combat Toyota, Eriko Tsuchiya, and Yoshika Maedomari vs. Eagle Sawai, Noriyo Tateno, and Mizuki Endo
This is the women of FMW against the women of LLPW, respectively. The FMW gals take control right away, sending their opponents
outside of the ring. Tsuchiya and Maedomari hold the three women for Toyota’s plancha from the top to the floor. Clip. In the ring, Toyota
whips Endo to the ropes and meets her with an avalanche. It should be noted that all of these women, with the possible exception of Endo
and Tateno are built like brick walls. Toyota hits a fluid fallaway slam before a clip. Tsuchiya whips Endo into the ropes, clothesline, clip.
Tsuchiya tries another clothesline, but Endo counters with a reverse armbar. No submission from Tsuchiya, though. Tateno gets the tag,
whips Tsuchiya to the ropes, and delivers a high knee. Another whip, another high knee. There has been a lot of shrieking in this match.
Clip. Sawai is in now - whip for Tsuchiya and a back elbow. Clip. Now it’s Maedomari hitting the ropes and receiving a back elbow from
Sawai. Tag to Tateno, who goes up top and lands a kneedrop on Maedomari after a Sawai bodyslam. Clip. Tateno twists Toyota’s arm and
sinks her teeth into the ample forearm. Toyota retaliates by grabbing a fistful of hair. Tateno ceases biting, twists the arm again, and resumes
the biting. So proud is she of her biting that she alerts the ref to the quality work she is doing. When he protests, she bites him instead! This
gives Toyota a chance to twist Tateno’s arm and do some biting of her own. I suppose it would be too obvious to make a joke about this
match biting so I’ll just say it - this match bites. Clip. Toyota whips Sawai to the ropes and they collide - it is the irresistible force meeting
the immovable object. A second time is no good; neither lady will budge. A third attempt results in a double clothesline. Clip. Tsuchiya and
Maedomari whip Endo to the ropes and floor her with a double shoulderblock. Maedomari gives her another whip and clotheslines her from
the front while Tsuchiya clotheslines her from behind. That was kind of nice. Clip. Maedomari tags Toyota. Whip for Endo, Toyota’s
dropkick seems to hang in mid-air before connecting. “Oh yeah, oh yeah!” exclaims Toyota. Toyota goes up top - Maedomari bodyslams
Endo - Toyota’s elbowdrop finds the mark. Cover for 2. Clip. Maedomari puts Endo up top, but Sawai and Tateno stop her with a back
superplex. Endo comes off the top with an awkward-looking splash for 2. The match breaks down at this point as the other four pair off
outside - Toyota with Tateno and Tsuchiya with Sawai. Tateno eats guardrail and Sawai eats ring apron - it’s a feast. Meanwhile, in the
ring, Maedomari lifts Endo up in an electric chair position and Toyota climbs up top - Doomsday Device? Nope, Sawai grabs Toyota’s leg
as Endo victory rolls Maedomari for 2. Endo is extremely displeased. And shrill. She goes up top, but Maedomari slaps the offense out of
her and joins her on the TOP turnbuckle - super chokeslam! 1, 2, 3. (3:56 of 14:44 shown.)
- Post-match, Maedomari gets on the mic and, assumingly, runs down the other three women. Tateno responds, drawing a buzz from the crowd, and Maedomari offers a rebuttal to those comments. Sawai charges across the expansive ringside area to attack, but everyone is quickly separated.
(4) Fumiharu Asako and Mr. Gannosuke vs. Goro Tsurumi and Hideki Hosaka
Asako has been dubbed “Big Green” by the F.B. because of the lime-coloured sweat suit he is wearing. He’s tall yet tubby, and his
resemblance to Buddha and/or Cotton Hill (Hank’s dad) from King of the Hill is kind of off-putting. Hosaka and Asako circle each
other and there’s a clip. Asako is whipped into the ropes and gets a dropkick. Jumping elbowdrop from Hosaka. An attempted rear
chinlock from Hosaka is turned into a hammerlock by Asako. Both men to their feet and Asako tags Gannosuke. Gannosuke with an
axhandle in the corner, twist of the arm, wrenching it, hammerlock, and a nifty takeover. Gannosuke covers and forces a 2. Clip. Both men
are up, but Hosaka kicks back and lowblows Gannosuke. Tag to Tsurumi. Kick. Side headlock is turned into an Irish whip by Gannosuke,
but Tsurumi regains control with a shoulderblock. Clip. Irish whip for Gannosuke and Tsurumi hits a knee to the gut. Clip. They’re outside
of the ring! Gannosuke’s head meets the metal beam or rigging near the ring. One more time. Tsurumi procures a folding chair from the
front row and drives the legs into Gannosuke’s shoulder. Ow! Meanwhile, in the ring, Asako avalanches Hosaka in the corner. Hosaka
whipped to the opposite corner - another avalance. Asako tosses Hosaka through the middle ropes - he lands on his feet. Asako gets an
eager look on his face, the crowd begins to buzz, he hits the ropes - and sails onto Hosaka with a TOPE! Sure, his butt and feet brushed the
ropes - and it was none too swift - but you’ve got to give Big Green credit for attempting that. In the ongoing mauling of Gannosuke,
Tsurumi uses a cable to strangle the poor guy. He even stands on the apron for more, as Terl would say, leverage. Clip. Hosaka uses his
wrist tape to choke Gannosuke. The ref breaks it up when Gannosuke reaches the ropes. Irish whip for Gannosuke - ducks the clothesline -
flying forearm from Hosaka connects. Asako is tagged in. He promptly whips Hosaka to the ropes and greets him with a spinning wheel
kick. Less impressive is the follow-up splash, which gets a 2 nonetheless. Clip. Hosaka is Irish whipped to the corner. He moves out of the
way of Asako’s avalanche and tags in Tsurumi. Two backhand blows anger Big Green, so Tsurumi Irish whips him and takes him down with
a thrust to the throat. Clip. Outside again as Tsurumi holds Asako so Hosaka can climb the beam to deliver a wussy elbow. Clip. Back in
the ring, an Irish whip and clothesline combo deal on Gannosuke gets 2 for Hosaka. On the floor, Tsurumi continues his promotional work
for choking by demonstrating on Asako with a length of rope. Hosaka sends Gannosuke to the corner - spin kick misses, though. Asako’s
face is turning purple as Tsurumi doubles the rope around his throat. Gannosuke legdrop gets 2. Right hand from Hosaka. He goes for a
gutwrench, but Gannosuke hooks Hosaka’s leg with his own and rolls forward, pinning the other man’s shoulders to the mat for 3!
(4:24 of 12:24 shown.)
(5) Kaysuji Ueda vs. Katsutoshi Niiyama - Martial Arts Match
This match takes place in rounds, but it is still clipped. Ueda is wearing boxing gloves and shorts while Niiyama is clad in wrestling tights.
First round: the two men size each other up, Niiyama blocks a high kick from Ueda, and they grapple to the ropes. The ref separates the
men. Another grapple takes them to the corner where they are separated again - and the match is clipped to the second round. Second
round: Niiyama catches a high kick and applies a leglace. Ueda rolls into the ropes to break the hold. Another kick from Ueda is blocked
and the next one is caught - capture suplex by Niiyama! Clip. Once again the ref is separating the men as they are against the ropes. A Ueda
right jab finds the mark, but his kick is caught. Niiyama takes him down. Clip. Third round: Niiyama grabs another kick but gets kneed in
the nose. That puts him on his back for a nine-count. Ueda swings away with punches, Niiyama goes for a headlock - they reach the ropes
and are broken up. Ueda comes back and absolutely clobbers Niiyama with a huge right after Niiyama misses a kick. There’s another nine.
Four consecutive shots from Ueda -right, left, right, left - send Niiyama back to the mat. The ref reaches ten before he makes it back to his
feet. I guess there’s no TKO. Ueda wins by KO. (2:55 shown.)
(6) Sabu and Damien vs. Dr. Luther and Yone Genjin,br> Damien’s gimmick is that he mimics the moves and gestures of other wrestlers; he performs a commendable version of Hogan’s posedown before hooking up with Luther. The crowd really digs it. They also dig the overselling bit Damien does when Luther slaps him with a finger. The comic relief ends, though, with a flurry of chops and punches backing Luther to the corner. Whip is reversed, but Damien lands on the second rope, rolls off, and clotheslines Luther. Forearm across the back. Irish whip for Luther - Damien drops down - leapfrog - loud laughter from Damien is cut off with a spinning heel kick. Clip. Damien is whipped to the corner. Luther’s charge misses, Damien with a backdrop. He calls “Chosu!” and clotheslines Luther to the mat. “Chosu!” There’s the Sharpshooter! And there’s a clip. “Inoki!” Two overhand rights and a ghetto blaster from Damien. Clip. Damien takes out Luther, who’s standing outside, with a sweet somersault plancha. Clip. Sabu and Genjin are in the ring - Sabu’s into the ropes, rolls over Genjin’s back, and catches him with a jumping back kick. A chair slides into the ring and Sabu sets it up - Genjin pounded in the corner - there’s Air Sabu! Genjin groggily leans against the ropes - Sabu moves the chair, hits the ropes, lands on the chair, and nails Genjin with a flying clothesline - flying out of the ring and splatting on the floor himself. Clip. Damien cries “Tenryu” and delivers three big chops to Luther in the corner before bending the big freak over and kicking him several times in the forehead. Clip. Sabu and Genjin are back in the match. Irish whip for Genjin, but Sabu gets flattened with a shoulderblock. Genjin hits the ropes - Sabu stays low - leapfrog over Genjin - Genjin stops running and ballshots Sabu. Northern Lights suplex gets 2! Clip. Luther whips Sabu to the corner, but he slides to prevent impact and charges back at Luther - clothesline ducked, Luther’s clothesline misses, Sabu goes for a huracanrana... but gets powerbombed by Luther for 2. Clip. Damien has Luther’s arm and is walking the ropes like the Undertaker, praying. Who is he mimicking now? This impressive display ends with an armdrag for Luther. On the outside, Sabu retrieves a table and tosses it at Genjin, who catches it squarely in the head. Damien tosses Luther into the front row and joins Sabu, who has clotheslined Genjin onto the table next to the ring. Damien holds him down - Sabu’s in the ring - to the middle of the very top rope - 450 legdrop from the top rope to the table! What’s more, it doesn’t break. Genjin is the worse for wear, but Sabu took the brunt of that bump - he bounced off the table and landed on his ass. Where’d he get those scars, Paul E.? Damien rolls Genjin into the ring - Irish whip, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Clip. “Muta!” Second-rope moonsault finishes Genjin off - 1, 2, 3. (3:51 of 15:14 shown.)
- For our amusement (?), Sabu uses two moonsaults to break the table. Of course, his legs gets completely fucked up because the table is incredibly sturdy. When he finally breaks through, he gets wedged between the splintered boards. Yikes. Damien entertains the crowd with some “Onita” chants, some water sprays, and a little mike work that is presumably very funny.
(7) Megumi Kudo (c) vs. Yumika Hotta - WWA & Independent Women's Championship Match
We get the introductions for this match, which is nice. Kudo, the champion, is a rather petite women, at least when compared to Hotta, who
is very solidly built. Should be an interesting match. Hotta offers the Hand of Friendship, but Kudo slaps it away. Hotta turns her back and
gets a kick in the ass - ooh, Kudo’s saucy! Irish whip for Hotta, Kudo’s flying clothesline misses, and Hotta delivers a stiff kick to
her back. Kudo is whipped to the corner, but Hotta stops before running into her outstretched boot. Hotta offers her hand again; this time
Kudo quickly shakes it. The two women circle and Hotta asks for the test of strength. There’s the right hand and there’s a kick to the inner
thigh by Hotta. Two kicks to the back of the leg and Kudo goes down. Hotta’s roundhouse kick just catches Kudo in the back of the head;
the next one lands squarely between her shoulder blades. She returns the kick to the butt as Kudo crawls to the corner. The champion is
slumped against the bottom turnbuckle - Hotta delivers five kicks to the side of her head. Hotta backs off as Kudo gets to her feet. They
circle, the test of strength is tried again, and this time Kudo kicks her opponent. Irish whip for Hotta - Kudo’s bodypress is caught
and Hotta unceremoniously dumps her. Kudo is quickly back up, grabbing Hotta’s leg - she trips her and drags her to the middle of the ring.
Three kicks to the leg precede a leg grapevine. Hotta fights the hold and makes it to the ropes. Kudo puts the leg on the bottom rope and
buttdrops it twice. Another grapevine and Hotta makes the ropes again. The referee breaks the hold. They circle again - you can see Hotta
slightly favouring the injured leg. Kudo sees it too and kicks the leg before hitting the ropes and dropkicking it. This annoys Hotta, who
begins kicking Kudo in the face - she tries to cover up as Hotta keeps peppering her with kicks. Kudo gets to her knees and Hotta kicks her
right in the back of the head. Kudo backs to the corner, still trying to cover her face, when Hotta grabs her and nails her with an absolutely
VICIOUS piledriver. That gets a two-count. Hotta slaps on the Boston crab - it eventually becomes a half-crab. The only noticeable clip of
the match happens here. Hotta has Kudo in a modified camel clutch or rear chinlock (not to sound like Jim Ross or anything). Kudo breaks
it by biting her. Both women get to their feet and begin trading slaps. Kudo whips Hotta into the ropes, but her forearm doesn’t take the
bigger woman off her feet. Kudo drops to the mat looking for a takedown - Hotta just kicks her in the head. Three more brutal kicks to the
head. Hotta with a nice vertical suplex for 2. Kudo is placed in the Tree of Woe - kick to the midsection by Hotta. They circle again - Kudo
charges and lays in a couple of kicks - Hotta fires back with a slap. They trade forearm blows - Hotta, Kudo, Hotta, Kudo - Hotta makes the
“give me some more gesture.” Kudo blasts her with eight straight forearms to the jaw, backing her to the ropes - double-barrelled forearm
blows, too quick to count!! Hotta looks dazed. Irish whip for Hotta, who connects with a running forearm. Hotta climbs to the top and
Kudo gets pushed off when she tries to stop her. She tries again with a kick to the gut - climbs up - kick to the side of the head knocks Hotta
off the top to the apron! Hotta tries to clear the cobwebs on the floor. Kudo with a tope!! She rolls Hotta in. There’s an Irish whip and a
butt bump. Kudo goes up top - Hotta’s to her feet - flying clothesline! A cover gets 2. Kudo goes back to the top, but her splash finds
Hotta’s feet. Hotta with a whip - clothesline ducked by Kudo, who gets a waistlock - Hotta elbow finds the mark. She goes for a German
suplex, but Kudo hooks her feet and rolls forward in a sunset flip for 2. Trying to build some momentum, Kudo hits the ropes and gets
caught with a one-armed chokeslam by Hotta. Hotta whips the champion to the corner and follows with a wheel kick. German suplex for
Kudo. Hotta ascends to the top. Kudo halts her with a punch, gets pushed off, climbs back up - flurry of slaps for Hotta. Super huracanrana
by Kudo! Man, she had to fight to get the hefty Hotta off the top there. 1, 2, Hotta gets a foot on the ropes. Kudo climbs to the top
backwards - looking for a moonsault? No matter because Hotta stops her cold with a German suplex off the second rope. Kudo barely kicks
out before the 3. Hotta tries a powerbomb - Kudo slides out - ow, eats a backhand blow from Hotta. Another close two-count follows.
Hotta tries the powerbomb again, but Kudo turns it into a sunset flip - 1, 2, 3!! (8:34 of 16:48 shown.) Too much of the match
was cut out to rate it, but this looked like an easy ***½. Both women - especially Kudo - absorbed a great deal of punishment, and it
doesn’t hurt that Kudo’s pretty cute.
- After the match, Kudo receives a trophy and a large cheque. The wind nearly tears it out of her hands and she just laughs. Adorable woman.
(8) Big Titan, The Gladiator and Ricky Fuji vs. Jado, Gedo and Ricky Fuyuki
Luckily, we get to see the introductions for this match and hear Ricky Fuji tell his opponents, “We’re gonna kick your ass and get out of
here!” That’s a rather obtuse bit of trash-talking. Big Titan is Rick Bogner (a.k.a. the fake Razor Ramon) and the Gladiator is Mike
Awesome. Okay? Gedo and Gladiator start. Gladiator with a kick, right hand, right hand - Irish whip, but Gedo ducks the spinning heel
kick and grabs the rope to stop. Gladiator is already up and charges Gedo, who runs to meet him - Gladiator’s clothesline practically turns
him inside-out! Clip. Gedo clotheslines Gladiator. He goes up top and moonsaults onto the standing, conveniently immobile Gladiator for
2. Tag to Fuyuki. He pounds on Gladiator, throws him to the mat, and calls Jado and Gedo into the ring for a triple stompdown. Titan and
Fuji come in to break things up, but the ref manages to get the illegal man back to their corners. There is some terrible hair in this match,
most notably Awesome’s mullet. It is seriously out-of-control here. Looks greasy, too. Anyway, Fuyuki catches Gladiator with a DDT.
Clip. Titan lifts Jado in a double-choke and throws him back into the corner. Irish whip to the opposite corner and Titan follows in with a
clothesline. Big gorilla press, but Jado squirms out and tries a sunset flip - Titan stops that with a left hand. Irish whip for Jado, Titan hits
the opposite ropes, and connects with a flying clothesline. That gets 2. Clip. Titan misses a senton off the second rope, enabling Jado to tag
Gedo. Double Irish whip for Titan - double shoulderblock doesn’t take him down - double clothesline does. Titan rolls to the outside for a
breather and Gedo backdrops Jado over the top into a plancha! Clip. Fuyuki whips Titan into the ropes, hits the ropes himself, and
clotheslines the big man down. A cover gets a two-count. Another whip for Titan - Fuyuki lowers his head and gets a kick from Titan. He
tags Fuji, who comes in and peppers Fuyuki with a series of kicks and a jumping back kick. Fuyuki, who is massively over with the crowd,
no-sells the flurry of offense. Two headbutts (with screams) for Fuji and a side-headlock - oops, Fuyuki pushed to the ropes, Fuji leapfrogs
and hits a spinning heel kick. Clip. Gladiator Irish whips Jado, his clothesline is ducked - Jado with a waistlock, but Gladiator elbows out
and slaps on his own waistlock - German suplex with a bridge!! That gets 2. Gladiator with two right hands, putting Jado against the ropes.
Running clothesline sends Jado to the outside. Gedo goes to check on his partner and Gladiator takes them both out with a no-hands tope
over the top! Wow! Clip. Titan with what can best be described as a pumphandle suplex on Jado - instead of dropping him on his back, as
in a pumphandle slam, Titan just threw him over his shoulder. A cover is broken up by Fuyuki at 2. Tag to Gedo, who comes off the second
rope... and gets caught in an overhead belly-to-belly suplex from Titan. Titan tags Fuji and holds Gedo for a top rope dropkick. The force of
this blow sends Gedo to his corner where he tags Jado. A Fuji dropkick sends Jado back to the corner, too. He tags Fuyuki. Fuji hits a
dropkick and whips Fuyuki into the ropes - Fuyuki holds on, though, and Fuji’s dropkick finds nothing but air. Fuyuki with a clothesline.
Fuji’s throat is draped over the second rope and Fuyuki sits on him. He distracts the ref, allowing Gedo to give Fuji a pair of chairshots.
Clip. Fuyuki with a kick. Fuji battles back with some feeble chops - they’re answered by a pair of headbutts. Clip. Jado with a powerbomb
for Fuji. Titan breaks the count. The match breaks down as Titan and Gladiator try the sandwich clotheslines performed by Maedomari and
Tsuchiya in the third match. However, Gedo ducks and the big men collide. Dissension ensues. Clip. Gedo with an Irish whip for Fuji, he
lowers his head, and Fuji gets a sunset flip for 2. Tag to Gladiator. He comes in with two right hands and trades chops with Gedo - the
smaller man goes down. Gladiator picks him up and audibly calls a piledriver. Right hand - piledriver! Jado breaks up the cover. Awesome
splash from the top gets 2 before Jado breaks it up again. The match breaks down once more when Fuji runs in and dropkicks Fuyuki.
Outside, Titan drives Jado into the barricade. In the ring, an Awesomebomb on Gedo gets two. Titan and Jado are shown brawling in the
front row. Second Awesomebomb gets three. (6:54 of 15:06 shown.)
- A shoving match ensues between Gladiator and Titan. Fuji tries to settle them down, but Gladiator offers a counterpoint with a short-arm clothesline. Gladiator yells at Titan, “Fuck you!” He leaves the ring, telling a camera, “Fuck Team Canada!” I say, “Fuck, that fucking mullet is fucking gross.”
(9) Terry Funk vs. The Sheik
Funk enters first and begins calling for the Sheik, first from the ring and then from halfway up the light rigging. Sheik appears with Sabu,
Damien, and a flaming torch. The audience scatters as Funk throws a metal frame and a chair at the Sheik. Man, the Sheik looks bloated and
confused; he barely seems to know where he is. Sheik hands the torch off to Sabu as Funk attacks. Right, right, forearm across the back,
another forearm, right. He chases off Sabu, retrieves a chair from the front row, and gingerly places it on the Sheik’s head as a “chairshot.”
The Sheik blades and leaves the chair dangling around his neck. Funk with a left, left, left, left, right, left, right, left - now he bites the
Sheik’s bloody forehead. Sheik finally removes the chair and smacks Terry with it. He gets a fork from his boot (from the look of his body,
it’s been used many times before) and jabs Terry with it. Funk falls into the front row and Sheik works him over with the fork. Naturally,
Funk is juicing. More shots with the fork. Sheik makes it to the ring and calls for Terry to join him. The Sheik, it must be said, looks like a
big, fleshy pear. Terry makes it to the apron, but gets a headlock from the Sheik and more shots with the fork. Sheik grinds the fork into
Terry’s head. Repeated fork jabs. Funk is bleeding profusely now - .6 Muta, perhaps? Sheik procures a piece of cord and chokes Funk with
it. He demands the ref to start counting the prone Funkster. Terry makes it back to his feet and receives more punishment from the fork.
Terry is doing everything here. Big jab and he hits the mat again. Back to his feet, he does the patented Terry Funk drunken selling
and falls out of the ring. Sheik gets the torch from Sabu and lights Terry’s knee on fire. Shit. Terry hobbles down the aisle and collapses.
Ring attendants put out the fire and Terry rips open his tights to show us a pink, bloody burnt patch on his leg. That is kind of sick. He
manages to hobble back to the ring, where he knocks the Sheik out with something he had in his tights - I couldn’t tell what it was. Anyway,
the Sheik sells it as best as he can and, with the help of a Funk headbutt, stays down for the count. Funk wins by KO. (4:59 of 5:59
shown.) There was enough of this match shown to rate it; that being said, it was a slow, weak-assed brawl that saw Terry absorb all the
punishment in the hopes of making it a watchable match. It didn’t work. DUD
- After the match, Funk gives Sabu a moonsault in an attempt to work an actual wrestling move into this segment. More tomfoolery with the torch chases Funk off and allows the Sheik and Sabu to flee. Terry climbs the batting cage and generally acts crazy.
(10) Mr. Pogo and Hisakatsu Oya (c) vs. Tarzan Goto and Mitsuhiro Matsunaga - World Brass Knucks Tag Team
Championship Match
This one breaks down before the match officially starts as Goto and Matsunaga attack the champs with the title belts. Goto tosses Pogo to
the outside as the bell rings. Also outside, Matsunaga battles Oya - right hand, right hand, Oya into the ringpost. Meanwhile, in the crowd,
Goto nails Pogo with a chairshot. Back to Matsunaga and Oya - Matsunaga with a right, Oya with two rights to the gut. Ooh, Oya pulls off
the bandages on Matsunaga’s arm to reveal what looks like a burn. It looks tender so Oya punches it. Goto returns to the ring with a chair.
Pogo is waiting for him inside, but his kick has no effect. Goto chairshot. Another one sends Pogo to the mat. Four chairshots to Pogo’s
midsection. Goto with three right hands, Irish whip, lowers his head - DDT by Pogo. Someone, presumably Oya, throws Pogo the ringbell.
DDT on the ringbell! Pogo with a chop, chop, chop, chop, chop - no sale from Goto. Pogo with a right hand, left-handed slap, right slap,
left slap, head to the buckle - Goto likes that and rams his own head into the buckle a few times. Pogo gets a boot from somewhere and uses
it on Goto twice. Goto fires back with three headbutts and a clothesline. Tag to Oya. Goto lands a headbutt and suplexes Oya stomach-first
onto the top rope. Clothesline sends Oya to the floor. Goto follows, of course. Oya into the barricade. Goto breaks a chair over Oya’s
head. The two men return to the ring - Oya is slightly bloody. Goto hits a nasty brainbuster on a chair. Oya is immobile so Goto covers him
- only 2. Goto follows a bodyslam with a splash off the top rope. The ref gets to two before Pogo drives a sickle into Goto’s head. It could
also be called an axe, I suppose. Anyway, Pogo jabs Goto with it and grinds it into the side of his head. Oya comes in with a sharp
instrument of his own, either a pen or a small knife. He gouges the side of Goto’s head. Jab. Matsunaga comes in with a couple of kicks for
Oya, but he gets a blow to the throat from the mystery object. Oya brings Goto over to Pogo. More axe shenanigans - grinding it. Oya
goes back to work with the stabbing. He rams Goto’s head into the turnbuckle. Pogo comes in and whips Goto to the corner - he comes out
with a clothesline for Pogo. Tag to Matsunaga - kick to Pogo’s midsection, another one, kick to the top of his head. Irish whip, kick to the
midsection. That hurts Matsunaga’s apparently injured leg so Pogo takes advantage and splashes it. Oya is tagged in. Kick to the leg, kick,
elbowdrop to knee, another one, twisting that leg. Shot to the knee and a tag for Pogo, who uses the sickle to cut open Matsunaga’s pants.
Goto protests. Pogo drives the axe into Matsunaga’s exposed knee. Goto charges the ring with a chair - Oya tries to stop him, but gets a
chair to the gut and one across the back. Pogo gets a chairshot to the back. He continues working over the knee with the axe, though. Oya
takes over with his sharp object. Matsunaga rolls out with Oya in hot pursuit. Matsunaga meets the barricade. Oya drives a chair into
Matsunaga’s knee three times before Goto makes his way over with a chair of his own. Chair fight! Goto wins and Oya gets a couple of
chairs to the back. Back in the ring, Pogo headbutts Matsunaga and nails him in the head with the axe. Pogo swings something from a bottle
and douses the prone Matsunaga with it. He has fire! No, Goto makes it back to the ring and clotheslines Pogo before he can incinerate
Matsunaga. A pair of kicks while Oya pounds on Matsunaga. Matsunaga manages to tag Goto. He gets a chair and nails Pogo with it.
Chop, chop, chop, Irish whip, clothesline. Goto retrieves a glass bottle and breaks it against the ringpost - yikes, bottle to Pogo’s face.
Twice more. Goto then saws away at Goto’s bloody forehead. That looks REALLY painful. Oh, Matsunaga is bleeding, too. Goto,
despite having the side of head repeatedly stabbed with an axe, is barely bloody. Hmmmm. The ref stops Goto from using the bottle again.
In comes Oya, who gets an awful clothesline from Goto. Goto with a whip and shoulderblock. Another whip, clothesline. Goto with a
chokeslam onto his knee - two-count. Headbutt, headbutt, Irish whip, powerslam, two-count. Tag to Matsunaga. Double-team powerbomb
on Oya gets 2. There’s another one! Pogo breaks the count at 2. Goto throws him to the floor. He joins him there, gets a chair, and lands a
chairshot right to Pogo’s outstretched hand! Wow! Oh, it was supposed to be to the head? Never mind. Back in the ring, Matsunaga
elbowdrops Oya. Powerbomb on a chair! Pogo breaks the count at 2. Two kicks send Pogo to the mat. Goto is being choked with a noose
- is that Goro Tsurumi pulling the rope? In any case, Goto can’t help his partner when Pogo swigs some more fluid and blasts Matsunaga
with a MONSTROUS fireball. Holy shit. Matsunaga’s bleached blond hair is actually darkened and his skin looks kind of charred. He is
easy prey for an Oya side suplex and a three-count. (14:26 of 16:34 shown.) I am fascinated with the beatific, child-like visage of
Tarzan Goto. Sure, his performance in this match would seem to indicate that he is a sadistic, no-selling son-of-a-bitch, but his face is that of
an innocent little boy who doesn’t understand the dark forces inside him. The hurt and confusion he feels when his partner is being
mistreated is all too visible on that big old face. What’s going on inside that head of his? Is there a beautiful butterfly waiting to emerge
from the cocoon of sloppy wrestling and yellow tights we call Tarzan Goto? *½
- Tarzan shows his motherly, nurturing side by dumping a bucket of water on Matsunaga. His face stamped with bewilderment at a world that could allow this kind of thing to happen, he grabs a microphone and emotes.
- A history package for the main event shows a clip of Onita pinning Tenryu during a tag match on March 2nd. This is accompanied by still photos of the press conference. Simple yet effective.
(11) Atsushi Onita vs. Tenyru - Explosive Barbed Wire Cage Match
Tenryu’s entrance music sounds like the theme song to an ‘80s morning show (“It’s Good Morning, Osaka!”). Both men face each
other in the ring, stoically, mentally preparing themselves for what they might have to endure. The crowd is rabid. Here they go: collar-and-
elbow tie-up, the two men struggling for dominance, trying to force the other into the cage. Neither man is giving an inch and they break the
hold. They circle each other and lock up again. Tenryu is forcing Onita towards the cage, but Onita manages to shove him off. They size
each other up. Another collar-and-elbow tie-up - this time Tenryu slaps on a side headlock and takes Onita down to the mat. Onita manages
to get to his feet and tries to push Tenryu into the cage; the other man, however, pulls up before striking the steel. Tenryu with an elbow to
the back of Onita’s neck. Onita responds with a chop. They trade slaps to the face, Tenryu lands a chop, Onita lands a chop - he tries to
whip Tenryu into the cage, but Tenryu slides down to avoid contact! Onita wants another grapple, but Tenryu kicks him in the gut. Three
right jabs put Onita down, kick, kick, kick, three swift kicks to the forehead. Onita’s back on his feet - Tenryu with a loud chop. Onita is
fired up and doesn’t feel it. Four more chops make Onita madder, so Tenryu just clotheslines him into the cage. PA-KOW! The cage
explodes and Onita, who hit the cage with his back, collapses forward onto his face. There is smoke curling from his body, folks. The crowd
is going wild. Tenryu kicks Onita in the head while the crowd chants “OH-NY-TAH!” Onita has an ugly series of vertical gashes in his
upper arm like a prisoner’s calender. Tenryu with a vertical suplex for 2. Ghetto blaster from Tenryu! It gets a two-count. Kick, stomp,
stomp, Onita getting to his feet, forearm to the back. Tenryu goes behind him and applies a surfboard. When the submission is not
forthcoming, Tenryu steps back and kicks Onita between the shoulder blades. Tenryu goes for something, but Onita slaps on a side headlock
of his own. Tenryu tries to send him into the cage - Onita drops and keeps Tenryu in the headlock. The slashes in his arm are bleeding now.
Working the headlock. Onita breaks the hold, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. There’s a DDT! Onita with a stomp and
back to the side headlock. They tease a cage bump again and Onita drops to the mat with Tenryu in the headlock. Those cuts must feel like
they’re on fire. Onita’s up and hits five kicks to Tenryu’s forehead. Back to the headlock and cage bump tease. They’re doing a pretty good
job of building suspense, I must say. Tenryu breaks the hold with a kneebreaker. Kick to the leg. He drives the knee into the mat. Mr.
Perfect legbreaker! (What’s the proper name for that move?) There are also bloody tears in the back of Onita’s singlet. Tenryu punishes the
knee with three kicks and goes for the Figure 4. No, Onita kicks him in the face! Tenryu goes back to the leg with a kick, kick, kick, and
THERE’S the Figure 4. Onita is screaming and reaching... for what? There are no ropes to grab and he can’t grab the cage. He reverses the
hold instead. Tenryu breaks the hold and returns to the kicking. Kneebreaker. Tenryu slaps on what I think was supposed to be a Figure 4
but gets kind of messed up. Still, it looks painful and Onita sells it. Tenryu breaks that hold too. Onita climbs to his feet. Tenryu kicks him
in the back of the leg. There’s a chop. Tenryu grabs Onita’s heavily bandaged arm - chops him down and pulls him back to his feet for
another chop!! He does that thrice. Tenryu’s suplex gets 2. A powerbomb and cover gets 2. Tenryu connects with five kicks to the head
before going for the abdominal stretch! Nope, Onita escapes with a hiptoss. Another ghetto blaster from Tenryu! Tenryu with a chop,
chop, chop - he charges with a clothesline, Onita ducks, and Tenryu charges face-first into the cage! BUH-WOOM!! The ref is down on the
mat holding his ears. Onita hits a side suplex for 2. Tenryu is bleeding too. Onita nails a DDT, and his powerbomb gets a 2. The crowd is
deeply digging this match. Onita applies a chinlock with body-scissors; it might have a technical name, but it doesn’t look more complicated
than that. Tenryu manages to curl around, though, and kick Onita in the head several times to break the hold. Onita tries a powerbomb, but
gets backdropped. Onita with a headbutt. Running headbutt! Another... no, Tenryu sidesteps him and sends him into the cage.
BOOOOOM!!! Onita is having trouble standing, and when he does get back to his feet, Tenryu is waiting with another ghetto blaster.
Another powerbomb - 1, 2, no! Listen to that crowd!! Tenryu charges and both men go down from a double clothesline. Tenryu with ONE
MORE powerbomb! 1, 2, NO! Tenryu’s disbelief is written plainly across his usually emotionless face. Tenryu lifts Onita up... and just
throws him into the cage. POW-OOOOOM! Are my sound effects getting a little silly? Double clothesline - Tenryu is still standing, though.
Onita with a small package!! ONE, TWO, NOOO! Kick, kick, kick. YET ANOTHER Tenryu powerbomb gets 2! Ghetto blaster! An
additional ghetto blaster!! One more powerbomb!!! Does that finish it?? 1, 2, 3, yes. (22:56.) I know this wasn’t the greatest
match in the world, but it certainly worked for me. Onita’s fighting spirit and the presence of the cage was directly reflected in the
psychology of the match and I really liked it. As did the crowd. ***
- Post-match, ring attendants help Onita get backstage, where he falls down a lot. Reporters ask him questions while he lies in a heap on the floor, striking me as perversely funny. There’s Big Green trying to help him! Finally, Onita gets loaded into an ambulance and carted away. I suspect that happens to him a lot. And that’s the end of the show.
I’m at the point with wrestling now where I desperately need something different than the WWF. Lots of people - smarks and non-smarks alike - have complained about the lack of an alternative to Vince’s horse-and-pony show, but it is a legitimate problem for people who are getting tired of the inane world of sports entertainment. A tape like this, clipped and lacking in a ton of quality wrestling though it may be, is refreshing for its exotic nature, its difference. That may not sound like a glowing recommendation and it isn’t meant to be; there is obviously better Japanese (and FMW) shows out there. However, there is enough cool stuff on this tape to make it pleasantly diverting, and considering the alternative - a wrestling tape collection dominated by the increasingly stupefying WWF - I’m not going to complain about it.
Of course, the Funk/Sheik match really sucks. That’s a given.