By The Sarge
This was the first-ever pay-per-view that I ever "called my cable company" and ordered. A strange choice, I know. Especially given the shittiness of the show. Some background information should be given to justify the reasons I put down the cash for this piece of turd. For starters, I was on a nostalgia kick that left me with good memories -- justifiable or not -- of Starrcade '91 (the event where the Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl made its debut). Secondly, I liked WCW at the time. What can I say? I wanted to see one of their damn pay-per-views. And their previous effort from 1996, Uncensored, looked way too bad on paper.
Unfortunately, Slamboree turned out pretty damn bad in its own right.
Exciting opening segment
The standard opening video package, fireworks, and Tony Schiavone yapping kicks off
the show. He's hosting this event with Bobby and Dusty. They hype Lethal Lottery, talk
about Savage & Flair teaming, Road Warriors and Steiners on opposite teams. And...
oh yeah, the Giant vs. Sting for the World title.
And we're ready to go with the Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl!
(Note: For those unfamiliar with the format, the Lethal Lottery features randomly drawn teams facing each other, with winning teams meeting in a "Battlebowl" Battle Royal. In this case, it was to crown "Lord of the Ring" because "King" was already taken. Of course, the randomly drawn teams are blatantly predetermined. Especially at this event. For this event, WCW chose to refer to the whole Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl thing as "Battlebowl." They shouldn't have.)
Battlebowl, First Round
Booker T & Animal vs. Hawk & Lex Luger
There's enough angle inbreeding here to start a small town in the Ozarks. The Road
Warriors are facing each other. Harlem Heat was kind of feuding with the Road
Warriors and Luger was one-half of the tag team champions (with Sting). Tony's crazy
and says something about there being "about a hundred million" people watching.
Whatever. A bunch of posturing and stalling starts things. Luger and Animal lock up
and do some big man crap. Dusty's surprised by the "slow pace" it started off at? He's
the only one. Animal tags in Booker. Luger does big man crap and Booker does a
Spinaroni before it had a goofy name, followed by that slow high kick he always does,
and a resthold. Axe kick by Booker and Hawk makes the save. Luger gets pissed
about this for some reason and both Road Warriors double-team Luger. Booker, being
the rocket scientist he is, doesn't take advantage of this. All four men brawl on the floor
and we get a double-countout at 6:51. Both teams are out of this "tournament" and no,
the Warriors never locked up. Fuck them. If I was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give
it: *. Low grade (get used to it for this show), but the only payoff would've
been if the Warriors locked up and they pussed out.
Battlebowl, First Round
Public Enemy (Rocco Rock & Johnny Grunge) vs. Taskmaster & Chris
Benoit
Yeah... real random. Johnny Grunge and Rocco Rock managed to get picked to be on
the same team and Benoit and Sullivan were about to feud at this time. PE set up the
world's smallest table at ringside. Benoit and Rock start out. I used to be a mark for
Rocco Rock. I don't know why. Lots of stalling to start. Benoit attempts a powerbomb
on Rock but gets a sloppy 'rana instead. A second 'rana attempt by Rocco results in a
powerbomb and Benoit does some humourous dancing over top of him. Sullivan gets
tagged in, tosses Rocco to the floor and ruffs him up with a non-folding chair. Rocco
teases a table bump on Sullivan but Benoit cuts him off with a clothesline. Benoit gets
suplexed from the ring to the outside. The referee is Randy Eller? What the fuck?
Sullivan holds Benoit on the table and PE put him (Benoit) through with a crappy "flying
attack." PE rolls Benoit back in and gets the win at 4:42. Sullivan fakes an injury and
gets the hell out of dodge. If I was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it:
*1/2. Really nothing here, but Benoit tried his damnedest. Oddly enough,
this is what started the epic Benoit vs. Sullivan feud that would see them fight in
washrooms across America and Benoit stealing Sullivan's wife. I'm told that was "a
shoot."
Battlebowl, First Round
Sgt. Craig Pittman & Scott Steiner vs. Booty Man & Rick Steiner
This was Ed Leslie gimmick #3902 and one of the worst. He was accompanied by the
Booty Babe, which means that DDP loaned her out to more people than just Bischoff.
The Three Wisemen are loving this one. Lots of boring mat wrestling by a guy that was
"OK" at it (Pittman) and a guy that was fucking horrible at it (Booty Ed). A headbutt to
the gut by Pittman leads to a tag to Scott, who actually manages to speed things up.
Quick tag to Pittman who slows things down again. Booty Ed tags Rick, who waits
about 15 seconds before doing that awful looking backdrop/powerslam "hybrid." Pittman
nearly kills Rick with an ugly German suplex. A "clothesline" (read: "whack with an
unspecified region of his arm") leads to Pittman getting knocked silly and tagging Scott.
Fans give mild applause to seeing the Steiners lock up. By the way, the crowd was
dead for the entire show. Also by the way, Scott has a nasty mullet here. Lots of
headlocks and boring "amateur" wrestling from the Steiners. Scott catches Rick with a
wicked t-bone suplex. Rick does an ugly-assed clothesline. Scott plays possum and
gets the elusive one-count with a medium-sized package. The brothers exchange full
nelsons? Rick catches Scott with a German suplex that was supposed to be a dragon
suplex (I think). Scott gives Rick a t-bone suplex off the top rope. Both guys tag, which
kills the match. Pittman can't quite get his "Code Red" armbar on Booty. Scott tags in
briefly. Pittman back in and he gets the Code Red on Booty. Booty wiggles to his
corner and tags Rick. Rick comes in and gives Pittman a German suplex, bridges, and
gets the win for his team at 8:21. If I was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it:
**. Ah yes, we're getting progressively better. A little less Booty Ed and
Pittman, and this would've been much better. Good stuff between the Steiners.
Battlebowl, First Round
The Blue Bloods (Lord Steven Regal & Squire David Taylor) vs. Hacksaw Jim
Duggan & VK Wallstreet
Find it funny that the Blue Bloods managed to get on the same team? Squire Dave was
a replacement for the injured "The Belfast Bruiser," who -- believe it or not -- was the
arch-enemy of Regal. We're redeemed, though, because Duggan and Wallstreet hate
each other and have to team together. Christ... there are some seriously ugly people in
the audience at this show. Regal's in bad shape, but not "awful" -- yet. He's doing lots
of great wussy heel antics. Duggan sucks and Regal still sells his shit. Both guys tag.
Blue Bloods take turns doing "great mat wrestling" with Wallstreet. Turmoil between
Duggan and Wallstreet for no reason. Wallstreet won't tag so Duggan punches him.
The ref tends to VK so Duggan can (loosely) tape his fist and KO Taylor, getting the pin
at 3:47. Bobby says "Go to your room" and I have no idea why. If I was a Snowflake
type of guy, I'd give it: DUD. Awful shit.
Battlebowl, First Round
Dirty Dick Slater & Earl Robert Eaton vs. Alex Wright & Disco Inferno
I really, really, REALLY don't like referring to Dick Slater as "Dirty Dick." And correct me
if I'm wrong, but Wright and Disco -- a "randomly" picked team -- would later be a tag
team in the shitty (shittier) days of WCW. Am I right? So, two geriatrics against two
young "OK" guys? Slater kicks the shit out of Disco, who tags. Wright attempts some
actual wrestling, so Eaton gets tagged in. OK stuff from Wright, but Slater gets tagged
back in. Wow! Dirty Dick hits a swinging neckbreaker on Wright, but an attempted
piledriver gets Slater backdropped. Disco gets tagged back in and Disco hits some
elbows, then dances. The ref (Randy Fuckin' Eller) gets distracted and Slater nails
Disco with his cowboy boot and gets the pin at a whopping 2:57. If I was a
Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it: DUD. Awful Shit II: Electric Boogaloo.
Some antics with Jeeves and Col. Parker amuse Dusty. But seriously folks... what
doesn't?
Battlebowl, First Round
Diamond Dallas Page & The Barbarian vs. Hugh Morrus & Meng
Yes... partners collide again. But why didn't the Faces of Fear facing each other get
Steiners or Warriors level excitement? This was still during the "DDP's got a
benefactor" shit. My money was on Steve Blackman. DDP and Hugh start. DDP gets
knocked to the floor but Hugh misses a plancha. DDP hits a stiff clothesline and tags
Barbarian. Hugh tags Meng. We get to see Meng calling spots... not that they do
anything worth planning. Lots of growling and smacking noises. Meng gets knocked
down and DDP and Barbarian actually do a double-team move where DDP gets press-
slammed on Meng. Hugh gets tagged in and hits an elbow from the top on Barbarian.
He tries a second, but DDP wiggles the ropes and crothches him. Barbarian goes up
and hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Hugh. Meng ruffs up Barbarian when the ref's not
looking and Hugh moonsaults Barbarian. All four men fight in the ring and Meng pins
DDP with something. Barbarian pins Morrus with the big boot. Since they were the
legal guys, it's that pin that counts and this one's over at 5:17. If I was a Snowflake
type of guy, I'd give it: **. This was on the verge of being a good match
before the abrupt ending. If nothing else DDP and Barbarian jived better than any of the
other "randomly" picked teams.
Battlebowl, First Round
Big Bubba & Stevie Ray vs. Fire & Ice (Scott Norton & Ice Train)
Fire & Ice was a short-lived team featuring two big hosses. They were lucky enough to
make it through the draw. Big Bubba, at the time, was new to the Dungeon of Doom
and had a shiny new biker look that really didn't work. Stevie and Norton -- two future
NWO members -- start off with big man "power" crap. Stevie takes Norton down with a
chokehold and tags Bubba. Bubba sucks. He does a weak-assed spinebuster on
Norton. Tony refers to the match as "Clothesline-o-mania," which makes me laugh. Ice
Train tags in, does more big man crap and there's one of those awful double-clothesline
things. Norton tagged in. This is not one of Ray Traylor's better matches. He
accidentally runs into Stevie and knocks him off the apron. When he turns around he
gets a double-shoulderblock from both Fire & Ice guys. And that gets the win? What?
At 3:31. If I was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it: DUD. This much
big man crap should be illegal.
Battlebowl, First Round
Eddie Guerrero & Arn Anderson vs. Ric Flair & Macho Man Randy Savage
This is the "big match" of the first round. It's amazing that Flair and Savage ended up
being on the same team even though they were feuding at the time! Flair doesn't come
out when his music plays. Before the bell, Anderson jumps Savage and Flair sneaks in.
Eddie and Flair start. This was blow-dried, non-skinny, babyface Eddie. Flair tags a
barely conscious Savage and makes Eddie tag Arn. Arn goes to work on Savage and
kicks his ass until Savage remembers how much money he makes. Spinebuster by Arn
gets a two-count. Flair tags himself in and Arn quickly tags Eddie. Flair puts the boots
to Savage and Eddie eye-gouges Flair and takes it to him. Flair Flop. Eddie gets a
tornado DDT. Savage attacks Flair. That damn Randy Eller turns his attention to that
scuffle. Arn DDTs Eddie and Flair manages to cover for the win at 4:06. If I was a
Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it: *1/2. Good "swerves" here and this is
probably the only match that the crowd was really into. Not that there was much of a
match to get into. After the match, Elizabeth slaps Savage and Arn DDTs him on the
floor.
Back to the Three Wisemen for a brief recap of what we've just witnessed. There's a second round to this Lethal Lottery business (can't wait) and one team gets a bye. Wowie Zowie. Bobby has a good line about Dusty's jacket (says he's "wearing a recliner").
Really bad promo video for the Great American Bash. "It's a WCW Father's Day you'll never forget."
Gene's surrounded by three "young ladies" from Hooters (one of whom I may have met once... even though they all look the same). They pick the team that gets the bye in the next round. The lucky winners are... Fire & Ice. In second round competition: Dirty Dick & Bobby Eaton will face the Hacksaw & VK. If that's not a Match of the Year candidate, I don't know what is.
WCW Cruiserweight Title Match
Brad Armstrong vs. Dean Malenko (champion)
Tony has the nerve/stupidity to say two things before this even starts: (1) he mentions
that "Ohtani" held this title; and (2) he calls Dean a "youngster." Nice one, fuckwad. Is
Brad Armstrong even a cruiserweight? Who cares... he's got a great mullet. Some
good, fluid chain wrestling immediately kills the crowd -- not that they were into this
show to begin with. Armstrong gives Dean an armdrag and dropkicks him to the floor.
Back in, Dean dropkicks Armstrong's knee, then smacks it on the post. Tony mentions
Psicosis and Bobby asks if that's "that dry skin you get on your elbows." I laugh. Dean
starts working the knee with some submission holds and knee drops. Dean slaps on a
stepover toehold, then hooks him in the Tree of Woe and dropkicks Armstrong's knee.
Armstrong gets a two-count from a sunset flip. A sliding dropkick to the knee by Dean.
More submission stuff that I can't name from Dean. The boys are loving the presence of
the Spanish Announce Team (which featured Pedro Morales). Unfortunately, their table
didn't get busted. Dean tries a body splash but Armstrong gets his (injured) leg up.
Dean gets powerslammed. Armstrong dropkicks Dean from the top (with a bad knee)
and Bobby rightfully points out that that's kind of dumb. Armstrong locks in the Texas
Cloverleaf, but Dean gets to the ropes. Armstrong heads up top, but Dean catches him
and does that gutbuster off the top rope for the win at 8:27. If I was a Snowflake
type of guy, I'd give it: **1/2. Some would call this "Perfectly Acceptable
Sportz Entertainment." This was damn-near the match of the night.
A Glacier promo video is shown and I laugh.
Gene's back with the Hooters girls. He announces that Public Enemy will face Flair & Savage; DDP & The Barbarian will take on Booty Ed & Rick. Gene's hornier than a pedophile at a Boy Scout camp. Five bucks says he told the Hooters girls that he owned the company and then got laid after the show.
Battlebowl, Second Round
Dirty Dick Slater & Earl Robert Eaton vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan & VK
Wallstreet
Two of these guys will move on to the Battlebowl Battle Royal at the end of the show.
Pretty sad, eh? Schiavone's amazing. He actually seems to care about this match.
Duggan and Wallstreet fight each other out of the gates and Eaton and Slater jump in
and attack them. Randy Eller restores order momentarily, because he's so good at his
job. Tony actually has the nerve/stupidity to say "What a match we're seeing!" and
seem like he means it. I'm not even going to waste my time transcribing anything
because it's all boring-ass old man shit. One notable spot: Duggan delivers the worst
clothesline EVER. The crowd is insanely dead. The finish comes at an
ungodly 4:09 when Duggan nails Wallstreet and Eaton rolls him up for the pin. If I
was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it: DUD. Just fucking terrible. Even
with WCW's 1996 stupidity, I can not -- for the life of me -- figure out why the fuck they
put this on a pay-per-view. Worst match of the night, which is really saying
something.
Battlebowl, Second Round
Public Enemy vs. Macho Man Randy Savage & Ric Flair
Randy Macho doesn't come out when the cheap WCW version of "Pomp and
Circumstances" cues up. Ric comes out with Woman and Elizabeth... and Macho Man's
money? What? This brings out a rippin' mad Randy Macho, who goes after Flair.
Because it was WCW, they didn't actually fight -- "security officers," rent-a-cops, and
jobbers pull them apart. American Males were among the jobbers intervening, earning
their PPV time for the month. That fucked-up hedgehog Randy Anderson gives the
match to PE as Ric and Randy are gone out back. No match.
Battlebowl, Second Round
Diamond Dallas Page & The Barbarian vs. Booty Man & Rick Steiner
Damn... Booty Ed looks fruity here. DDP and Booty Babe "Kimberly" exchange words.
DDP informing her of dinner plans with the Bischoffs, perhaps? At the time, Booty Ed
and DDP were feuding and Booty Ed was getting one of those weird Ed Leslie pushes
where he doesn't actually advance up the card, but gets more airtime and praise from
the commentators. Because of the Ed Leslie Push, F.B. members speculated that he
would win this whole Battlebowl thing. Luckily, we were wrong. Some boring big man
stuff and some of that messy-assed Rick Steiner wrasslin'. Steiner does a bowling shoe
ugly belly-to-belly off the top rope on Barbarian. Barbarian powerbombs Rick. The
crowd is deader than Memphis here. Rick tags Booty, but Nick Patrick (your ref) doesn't
see it. Patrick guides Booty to the corner and Rick gets tossed over the top rope, which
would've meant a DQ. Booty gets tagged in and nails Barbarian with his patented high-
knee. What a lame finisher. Booty Ed has Barbarian pinned, but Patrick is keeping
Rick in the corner. DDP sneaks in, elbows Booty and Barbarian gets the pin at 5:06.
After an elbow? If I was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it: DUD. Crap
match.
WCW U.S. Heavyweight Title Match
Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Konan (champion)
This was before Konan became a doughy, overly sloppy, catchphrase-spouting goofball.
At this point, he was actually pretty good. Sonny Onoo's accompanying Liger, which
always pisses me off. Tenay replaces Dusty at the broadcast both, apparently because
he's a student of international wrestling. My ass. Tenay's knowledge of international
wrestling is about as thorough as my knowledge of knitting. Tony uses the old "U.S.
champ is the #1 contender" bullshit. Konan applies an incredibly unorthodox pinning
move (I can't name it, and Tenay doesn't try) for a two-count. A lot of quick flipping,
flopping, and exchanges and the crowd shows mild appreciation. Konan goes to the
floor and Onoo puts the feet to him. Liger nails Konan with a baseball slide and
almost hits a plancha. Konan sells it anyway. Brainbuster by Liger gets a two-
count. Liger slaps on a cross-armbreaker (Tenay?). Konan gets out and locks in a
weird-assed STF-type thing. Liger with a surfboard, then a camel clutch. Liger tries a
half-crab, but Konan blocks it and Liger goes for a "variation of the bow-and-arrow"
(Tenay). Fists and palm thrusts by both guys. Liger does the somersault (something)
kick that I usually call "a rolling heel kick." Superplex by Liger. Moneyshot by Liger gets
a two. Konan heads to the floor. Liger tries a bodypress from the top to the floor, but
Konan dropkicks him on the knee on his way down. Back in, fisherman's buster by Liger
gets a two-count. Liger tries to lift himself over Konan in the corner, but Konan catches
him by the ankles and whips him down. Attempted "Power Drop" (Razor's Edge) by
Konan gets reversed to a sunset flip and a two-count by Liger. Medium-sized package
by Liger gets a two. Ligerbomb gets a two-count. A High-Flying Maneuver by Liger gets
ruined by Konan's feet. The "Power Drop" (Splash Mountain) by Konan gets him the win
at 9:32. Good little match that should've been given more time, considering some of the
crap on this show. If I was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it: ***1/2.
Ric, Arn, Woman, and Liz come out to talk to Gene. They talk about their "havoc." Ric doesn't really say anything too notable until... he talks about "Steve McMichaels." They had a barely-worth-mentioning feud at the time. He makes a remark about Debra and "Mongo" comes out and speaks in his favourite language: fucked-up old hillbilly metaphors. Doug Dillinger and pals come out to break up a scuffle that hasn't even started yet. Ric tells Mongo to find a partner. Mongo "thought something like this might happen" and brought Kevin Greene with him. A lot of people say "come on!" and the "security officers" step in. Kevin Greene and Mongo get to talk. Ugh. This set up the ****7/8 Mongo & Greene vs. Ric & Arn match at Great American Bash, where Mongo turned on Greene, joined the Horsemen, and launched a short -- yet dreadful -- career as a Sportz Entertainer. Boring segment that should've happened on Nitro the next night. This thing lasted about 10 minutes.
Battlebowl, Final Round
Eight-Man Battle Royal
Your competitors: Scott Norton, Ice Train, Dick Slater, Robert Eaton, Johnny Grunge,
Rocco Rock, DDP, and The Barbarian. The line-up looks like a condensed list of the
jobbers in the World War 3 battle royal. Ugh. Tony thinks it's great that these
guys are in here. Your usual battle royal crap begins this, with a couple near
eliminations and a whole bunch of punchin' and grapplin' near the ropes. This makes
bowling look like an exciting spectator sport. DDP gets tossed over and touches the
floor before pulling himself back in. Nick Patrick, who's in the ring for some reason,
didn't see it and I don't think we were supposed to either. This is slower than death.
The closest thing to an exciting move is a bodyslam... and there's actually plenty of
those. The crowd is about as into it as they should be, which is "not at all." Johnny
Grunge tries to pin a guy and Patrick counts, so I guess pinfalls count (thanks for
making that clear, Tony). Rocco runs at Barbarian even though that's how most people
get eliminated from battle royals. Wowie Zowie... Rocco gets backdropped over and out
by Barb. Slater accidentally decks Eaton with his cowboy boot and Eaton practically
jumps over the top to get eliminated. Eaton goes after Col. Parker at ringside and Slater
somehow gets eliminated too. DDP backdrops Norton out... and we're down to our final
four: DDP, Ice Train, Barbarian, Grunge. Ice Train powerslams all three. DDP gives all
three Diamond Cutters, pins Grunge and Train, and gets a two-count on Barbarian.
Barb clotheslines DDP and gets a two-count. A "back elbow" and feet on the ropes gets
DDP another two-count. A roll-up by Barbie gets a two-count. Tombstone by Barbarian
gets another two. Sleeperhold by Barbie gets countered by a DDP kick to the nuts.
Powerbomb by Barbie gets a two-count. Barbie misses the diving headbutt from the top
rope. DDP gets Barbarian with another Diamond Cutter and gets the "Lord of the Ring"
at 9:38. A decent last couple minutes almost slightly made up for the first six minutes.
If I was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it: *1/2. The DDP-Barbarian
segment at the end would've made a decent match on Nitro. The rest of this match was
boring at best, and "really boring" at worst. DDP gets a nice ring for his three matches
and 20 minutes of work. He also gets an alleged title shot at Great American Bash (a
match that never did happen).
Gene's back in the dressing room talking to Jimmy Hart and "Giant" about his upcoming title defense against Steve "Sting" Borden. Giant says Sting's been "a cockroach in my apple pie." I like it.
WCW World Heavyweight Title Match
Sting vs. Giant (champion)
The stip here is that Luger and Jimmy Hart are going to be cuffed together at ringside.
Sting's over with the Baton Rouge crowd -- an accomplishment with these apathetic
Cajuns. Giant's pretty skinny here, compared to his present-day girth. And his hair is
real nice and frizzy. Fuck, I hate Michael Buffer. Giant actually runs in this one...
and fast. Sting bounces off the Giant's massive "front" with a cross-body. Sting slaps
on the sleeper and Tony and the crowd go apeshit. The crowd pops for just about
everything here. Sting tries a bodyslam and can't. Giant's doing giant guy crap
here like walking across Sting's chest and standing on him, but it's actually kind of
working. Giant's just mauling Sting with typical stuff, then a bodyscissors? Weird.
Giant keeps the hold on for a while, then tosses Sting onto the floor and halfway down
the aisle to a well-placed table. Giant goes for the chokeslam but Luger puts Hart on
the table and Giant stops in mid-slam. Unfortunately, nobody told these guys that when
you tease a table spot, you eventually have to do one. Back in the ring, Giant goes for a
dropkick but Luger pulls Sting out of the way causing Giant to miss. The ref checks on
Sting but he thinks it's Giant and elbows him leading to a Randy Anderson Ref Bump,
which are the best kinds of Ref Bumps. Giant tries a splash in the corner and gets stuck
on the top turnbuckle. Sting hits the Stinger Splash. Luger goes up to the apron and
Giant grabs him by the throat. Sting gives Giant three more Stinger Splashes, but Giant
doesn't let go of Luger. Sting pushes Giant away from Luger, knocking Luger to the
floor. Hart gets yanked across and stuck on the turnbuckle. Sting goes for a Stinger
Splash on Hart, but Luger falls to the floor, pulling Hart with him. Sting misses and falls
back, headfirst on the Giant's real Big Show... his dick. Randy Anderson finally
recovers from his Randy Anderson Ref Bump. Sting splashes Giant from the top and
gets a two-count, but the Giant throws Sting up when he kicks out and he lands on
Randy Anderson for the second Randy Anderson Ref Bump of the match. Jimmy and
Lex fight over the megaphone on the apron as Sting slaps the Scorpion Deathlock on
Giant. Now... I have a hard time believing that Luger would "struggle" with Jimmy Hart
over anything. During their struggle, Sting gets drilled with the megaphone. This was
when WCW was teasing a Luger heel turn (that never did happen). Dusty thinks Lex
nailed Sting intentionally. Meanwhile, Giant chokeslams Sting, Randy Anderson
recovers and counts the pin at 10:40. If I was a Snowflake type of guy, I'd give it:
**1/2. Call me a "drunken idiot fuck" if you want, but the ending was pretty cool.
Plus, points for actually getting the audience off their asses. One of the better "Paul
Wight" matches you'll see.
The Three Wisemen wrap things up and hype the next night's 90-minute (!!!) Nitro. Amazing.
Credits roll.
In conclusion...
There were precisely three matches on this show that seemed like they belonged on
pay-per-view. And I don't think it's a coincidence that all three were the three non-
Battlebowl matches.
Being a mark for the format in 1991, I had high hopes. And, with the right delivery, it could lead to some interesting matches. Unfortunately, they managed to bog it down with enough unlikely coincidences to negate the "random" aspect of it. Plus, almost everybody involved was a jobber -- and seven of the eight that made it to the battle royal were total curtain-jerkers. If WCW thought that fans -- at home or in the arena -- would give a shit about Eaton & Slater vs. Duggan & Wallstreet, they were smoking more crack than anybody ever gave them credit for.
And, of course, almost all the Battlebowl stuff was shit.
The other three matches were entertaining in different ways and provide a good sampling of better WCW pay-per-views from 1996. They almost made this show watchable. But not quite.