++October 02,3002++

'WAVES OF SADNESS CAME ON THE BEACH TODAY,
HOLD ON NOW IT WON'T BE LONG 'TILL WE'RE ON OUR WAY'
Matthew Jay

I AM TOO SHOCKED TO SAY ANYTHING.

MATTHEW JAY IS DEAD, FALLING FROM HIS APARTMENT ON THE 7TH FLOOR.

Condolences go to family, friends, and relatives.

++09:06++

++September 25, 2003++

"...AND MAN MAY HAVE BEEN A MERE ACCIDENT, A BY-PRODUCT EVOLVED IN THE PROCESS.  IT IS AS IF THE SCUM UPON THE SURFACE OF THE OCEAN IMAGINED THAT THE OCEAN WAS CREATED IN ORDER TO PRODUCE AND SUSTAIN IT, OR A MOUSE IN A CATHEDRAL THOUGHT THAT THE BUILDING WAS ITS OWN PROPER ORDAINED RESIDENCE."
--Professor Summerlee, in The Poisonn Belt, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle--

I spent two whole days (days, mention, not nights!) at the lab.  'Terribly tired, me hands are bruised', like I told 'Fuji' via SMS (ooh yes I can go SMS-ing with him!  What a delight!), plus my fingers were several times burnt.  But I'm happy, because that means I have passed another phase of my long and exhausting research. (Not to say that I hate this research.  When you have spent several months concentrating on a particular subject, you can get really bored with it or get really absorbed with it or just take it as a part of your life.  The last one happens to me, methinks.) 

Trying to cram my blog archive.  Not neat, not tidy, but at least they don't eat so much space anymore.

Am reading Arthur Conan Doyle's stories featuring Professor Challenger (I didn't know that there's more stories of Challenger &co than The Lost World).  Yes people, there are other Sir Arthur's work beside Sherlock Holmes.  Some of his other stories are even better than some Sherlock's cases.  I still can't get over the awe I felt (and the sudden relieve following it) when reading 'The Lord of Chateau Noir' -- one of the best piece I've ever come across in my life.
Doyle is not just a (successful) pioneer of detective stories (although Poe beat him in the race of time a bit), he's also one of the pioneers we today call science-fiction (with Verne and Wells -- which of the later I could claim proudly a man well-trained in biology).  We may laugh at his The Poison Belt now, with all the theories about ether etc., but it's still striking even after we correct the 'scientific facts' we know now as false.  Another interesting fact is that Doyle's Challenger was created after a prominent (but rather forgotten) Darwininan E. Ray Lankester, although I should say that the thoughts of Summerlee (Challenger's bestfriend-cum-rival) is more Darwinian.  
But there's a funny connection between Lankester and Doyle that I can share with you, from what I read in Nelson and Jurmain's Introduction to Physical Anthropology: that Doyle is perhaps the one who's done the forgery of Piltdown Man (an ammunition of creationists that has long lost it sparks and no longer usable).  The motive was perhaps to make Lankester (and the whole scientific establishment) embarassed.  Because, although a doctor himself, Doyle was a spiritualist.  He must have had some arguments with scientific heads who didn't believe in illogical occult -- maybe as severe as making him take the skull of a man and the jaw of an ape and put them together to create Piltdown Man.  To think that Doyle wrote stories involving scientists who trust their own minds than anything (Challenger, and the more, perhaps, Summerlee) and even based his main character on the man he'd dislike the most!  But right now I'm reading 'The Land of Mist' and it has things to do with spiritualism... so let's see where Doyle's taking us.
Now I want to buy his 'Sir Nigel' and 'The White Company'.  I saw both in Gramedia a couple of months ago (when I was broke and such)... I wonder if they still have them.

Heard that there were 27 Israeli pilots refused to attack Palestinians with planes.  Oh God, I just hope that they wouldn't be punished severely.  God protect them.  Ah well, I pray for some Israelites -- can I do that?  In the meantime, I hope that it can open the eyes of the people that the Jews too have heart... that the Jews are human too.  Like, just because Amrozi blew up Paddy's it doesn't mean every Muslim is a bomber.  And just because Bush Jr. is an awfully cruel and sick fundamentalist it doesn't mean every Christian is a murderer.  After all, it is not us who will judge for everything any man has done.
My God!  I sound like a defender of the Jews.  No I'm not.  I defend any human with good intention and a... human heart.

++21:15++

++September 21, 2003++

JUST THINK OF THE LIVES YOU'LL SAVE, 
NOT STUCK IN YOUR EARLY GRAVE...
--Suede--

Bought Nakayoshi Gress! (God forgive that daft name! -- Someone tell them the word 'gress' is out of the vocabulary quick!), the official Nakayoshi Indonesian edition published by Elex.  Just out of curiosity.  First thing to note: the size is the same as a tankoubon, not as the original magazine.  There are colour pages.  Some of the story are so sweet they make me sick, like having eaten a box of Cloud9 without break.  Some stand under the shadows SailorMoon.  I noted some series that are perhaps worthy to follow:  Akimoto Nami's Urukyuu (Elex-ized as Ultra Cute), Ando Natsumi's Juunikyude Tsukamaete (12 Signs of Zodiac), and Mizukami's Wataru Kekkon Shiyouyo (Let's Get Married! -- two cool although a bit perverted fiances at the same time?  The world's not fair is it!).  Tachikawa Megumi is still boring.  Nekobe Neko is funny enough.
This is only my dream, but I'd be very happy if ASUKa, ASUKA MYSTERY, Hana to Yume, and JUMP are published in Indonesia too.   Am I hoping too much?

[Intermezzo.  I noticed that lately lots of Indonesians say and write 'worthed' instead of 'worth it'.  Poor misguided fools?]

Am listening to Yes New York.  An album (supposed to be?) full of New York's best acts including The Strokes, Interpol, Unitard (the alter ego of Yeah Yeah Yeahs), The Rapture, and The Walkmen who were Johnathan Fire*eater (wait, was it Jonathan or Johnathon?  -- yeah Maroon5 wasn't the first one in the business).  Cool enough, but it feels like trying to take financial advantages off the New York scene... eh, alright, this is an album for charity, so they need the money.  But I began to think that there are no recording studios in NY; there are only garages.

Was very irritated to find that in a book by Ibrahim Muhammad al-Jamal, 'Fiqhul Mar'atil Muslimah' [translated as Fiqih Muslimah: Ibadat-Mu'amalat] the ancient parts explaining about menstruation (just to name an example) are still there.  I mean, I understand when this were 600 years ago and you could get away free by explaining to your daughters that menstruation 'is God's test to Adam's daughters'.  They haven't developed enough science and medical researches to find out about what menstruation actually is, and that explanation was enough.  But here in the 21st century?
God, I'm no good master in religion, but I believe that there has to be some changes!  Why afraid of making new interpretations when the old ones are already turned out to be false, not up-to-date, or not relevant anymore?

++23:47++

++September 18, 2003++

EVOLUTION IS THE HEAVY ARTILLERY IN THE STRUGGLE FOR TRUTH.
--Ernst Haeckel--

Yeah well nothing in my life really worth telling lately, so I don't feel the urge to write them down.  Unless you want to read the same old moaning about failures in laboratory, article deadlines, overeating, laziness and the lost of spirit, a returned research proposal--heavily corrected blah de blah de blah.

I got three articles to work on in hand.  Have already finished one (I think) while the other two is in progress if not not having begun at all (there's some problem with the materials of one article, i.e. the publisher hasn't sent them to me).  Got so much help by Miu-chan for one of the articles -- man, how she's always helpful.

I promised Mia to put some pictures I took with my digital camera, so here they are, of my cat and of a door with sunshine pouring through the window, creating a beautiful sight.

Ah, grrrrr.  If no country may have a so-called Muslim fundamentalist as their leader, then no country may have a Christian fundamentalist like Bush Jr. either! If Amrozi is a nutty fundamentalist, Bush Jr. is also one, if not worse!

And just, just, FREE PALESTINE!
Listen, I got no bone to pick up personally with any Jew, but I'm against Zionism and Israelite policies of genocide and violence.
Man!  Isn't Palestine vast enough to be lived peacefully upon and to be built in hand-in-hand?  No?  Well I guess they'll war to the end.  USA may want it too, since there are lots of Christian fundamentalists living there at the moment, the ones who want Armageddon to come and painfully yearn for The Second Coming.  For me, it's happened already, in 1995, in the form of a magnificent album by The Stone Roses.

I don't know whether laymen know what 'a scientist' really means, but please, HARUN YAHYA IS NOT A SCIENTIST.  He never was.  Never has been.  He's a bigot who spreads pseudoscience to innocent people who just take his words for granted.
Really.  It's an act of downgrading us scientists if you put someone like him in the category of true scientists who have spent most of their lives working so dedicatedly in science.

And to answer Puti:
Yes I really like Arthurian legend.  My favourite knight?  Absolutely not Sir Lancelot.  I don't know, I think it is strange to name him a good Christian knight, or even the best, when he falls in love with his king's queen and has an illegitimate son which is Sir Galahad.  BUT, I like my own version of Sir Lancelot ;) who's a bit fool and clumsy.  I like Sir Galahad and Sir Gawaine and also Sir Gareth for different reasons, which I can't describe clearly.  But, rather surprisingly perhaps, I am also interested in Sir Kay.  I am interested in how a knight which was initially depicted as a good one in old Welsh traditions ('Cei'), became so downgrading in characters and morals to be the Kay we now know.  Even in the Mabinogion, Cei is still praised highly in the tale of Culhwch and Olwen, but he's a badass in Peredur Son of Efrawg (Wales equivalent of Sir Percival or Parsifal, but rather of von Eschenbach, not Thomas Malory's).

But--ahem, I'm sorry, it's difficult for me to stop once getting in a topic of Arthurian legend--I found the five brothers who are Arthur's nieces fascinating:  Gawaine, Gaheris, Gareth, Agravaine, and Mordred.  Gawaine is the one with a good, tender heart--he loves his uncle loyally, and he can't forgive Lancelot who's not just taken his king's lady but also the lives of his two brothers, Gaheris and Gareth, despite accidentally.  That act shall bring demise to him, but I really can't blame him.  While Gaheris is known for his act of slaying his own mother who makes love to the son of the murderer of her husband (and that man happens to be Sir Percival's brother, who is traditionally a good friend of Gawaine!).  I can't justify anything Gaheris has done, neither can Arthur--that's why he drove Gaheris out of his court.
Gareth is also a good knight, a tall, slender blonde young man who entered Arthur's court not as a knight but as a kitchen boy (thanks to Kay), hence his nickname The Kitchen Knight.  In my imagination, he is very sweet tempered (I don't know, someone like Fugen Shinjin!).
While Mordred, ah, poor old Mordred (or young?  If I'm not mistaken he's the youngest brother of Gawaine).  Born of accidental incestuous relationship between Arthur and his sister, he was prophesied to be the one who'd bring destruction to Arthur's realm.  I like the picture of Mordred appearing in the book by  Andrew Lang.  He is pictured leaning on his sword amongst heaps of dead bodies, thinking, and there's something in the look of his eyes that is so moving.  It's like... you can see all the pain he's going through, being a castaway because of a sin of his parents... a lonely eagle fighting the best he can to gain what he thinks he deserves.  The problem with ancient tales is sometimes they're too black and white.  When someone is evil, he's evil--when someone is good, he's good.  That happens to Mordred.  Simplified tales tell him that he's simply dreadful: he hates Arthur and wants to overthrow him.  But what is--what are the causes?  I want to see Mordred not as a merely black character, but more of a grey one.
(It's like a kind of funny website I once read, that defended Judas in some way.  The site stated that who knows what drove this man to become a traitor?  Who knows if he had mouths to feed so he's forced to sell Jesus/Isa as. out?  Who knows that he had an abusive father and a freaky mother who'd made him kinda wacky?)
While Agravaine... well, I haven't known much about him, but I'd like it very much to know why he's sided with Mordred.  If it's up to me, I'll say that he turned against his other brothers after the murder of their mother by Gaheris.  Gawaine seemed to favour the act a bit, because he has no mercy for anyone who turns against his beloved father.  While perhaps Agravaine loves his mother too much... sorry that was fully my imagination! ;P

'Fuji' is back in UK.  He put a box of CDs, E-CDs, and DVDs under my supervision.  And I just found out that I could go SMS-ing with him.  His first try was 'Kick up the fire and let the flames break loose' which explains a lot of things :)  Mmmm and Wincy's got the notebook for me.

++18:25++

++September 8. 2003++

NO SCIENCE WITHOUT FANCY,
NO ART WITHOUT FACTS.
--Vladimir Nabokov--

My sister got a reply from Pete Doherty.  I think it's her right to tell what the content is, but I just want to say:  I miss the Libertines of the old day.  And if I have to... I think I'll stick to Carlos, Gary, and John.
And, oh, Pete.  If you happen to read this:
I still haven't forgotten that you used to snog Carlos lots of times.  *jealous rage*

OK, OK, a short review for The Origin of Humankind... excuse my limited English.

So, what is this book?  A translated popular scientific book meant to stir the debate of the origin of humankind once again in Indonesia?  Likely.  The book was originally published in 1994, and so many new facts have been found and added to the world of anthropology, but the content is still relevant, especially because it's served in the simplest mode possible.  I don't think that Richard Leakey made it that way because he underrated the understanding of the 'popular' kind of readers: he made it so that the book will contain the outlines of anthropology that will show the origin of humankind to the readers.

I am deeply interested in the last two chapters, which discuss about the origin and importance of language and consciousness/self-awareness to human… a long puzzlement that has spurred many heated debates. No battle of different thoughts is really provoked in the book.  Leakey is not as sharp-tongued as Dawkins in presenting his ideas, he sometimes even clung to the polite ‘I think…’.  The long dispute of Wolpoff (Multiregional Evolution Theory) and Stringer (Out of Africa Theory) is only described a little, with the claim that Leakey chose to ‘side’ with Stringer more.  (More intense description of the war between the two and the school each of them adheres can be found in James Shreeve’s ‘The Neandertal (sic) Enigma’--a book I haven’t finished reading since it’s only available at Eijkman’s library in Indonesia… as far as I know).  But well, I can’t really judge, I only read the translated version.

Bought Stephen Jay Gould's I Have Landed.  A series of passionate essays, some of them very personal, about natural history written by one of the greatest biology scientist ever walked the Earth.  The essays are not purely about biology and its jargons; biology and natural history here got interconnected and mingled with other disciplines such as history, politics, literature, and even sport.  Interesting.  Especially because there's an essay that sacked Freud (although it also reminded us that Freud built his false theories on Lamarckian biology). 

My dad bought The White Stripes' self-titled album and De Stijl for my brother.  While my sister bought the edition of Mojo which features The Strokes on cover and an interview with the band inside.  The bonus is a CD of The Roots of Hip Hop, which is very interesting.

++20:20++

++September 4. 2003++

THE BEST LIARS ARE THOSE WHO BELIEVE THEIR OWN UNTRUTHS,
SINCE THEY CANNOT BETRAY THEMSELVES.
--David Barash--

Went to the new branch of ak.'sa.ra at Cilandak Town Square.  They're having discounts.  Bought Richard Leakey's The Origin of Humankind, or as translated by Andya, 'Asal-Usul Manusia'.  Nice translation although some of the Indonesian words used are... err... alien for me.   Such as 'tumpat', 'lanja', and 'teralan'.
Buy it to know the truth about our origin, people.

ak.'sa.ra has a magnificent book of Stephen Jay Gould.  Dying to buy it, but it was 200something thousand rupiahs.  I didn't have money that much.  Should I break my piggybank and grab the book?

Books and science are one of my obsessions.
Obsession, yes.
And they connect with my intellect, I believe.

Just when they will release Dawkins' River Out of Eden (translated by one Damaring Tyas Wulandari Palar), pray?

(Ulat, I've got the Inui pin for you, but sadly, its colour is a bit different than the other Seigaku pin made previously.  I asked for the same dark blue colour, but it came out lighter.  I hope you don't mind?)

Bought the double album by Manics, Lipstick Traces.  A collection of B-sides and covers, incuding live favourite "Can't Take My Eyes Off You", the deleted single "Forever Delayed", and the previously unreleased track "Judge Yrself".
I've given news about the coming of Lipstick Traces since months ago in this blog, so if you missed it, you're to blame :)

Bought WarChild HOPE (cooperation with Daily Mirror) for my sister.
It means that we so far have purchased 3 albums released by WarChild, the other two being HELP and ONE LOVE.  It's good to think that we have contributed for the children.  Our contribution may not mean big things, but imagine if one million people contributing?  So buy this album for Iraqi children's sake, people.
AND PLEASE BUY THE ORIGINAL COPIES, BECAUSE IF YOU BUY THE PIRATED COPIES IT MEANS YOU ROB OFF THE FUND SUPPOSED TO BE GIVEN TO IRAQI CHILDREN.
Then you're as cruel as the American government.
Oh, the artists involved:  Travis, Avril Lavigne (pah), NewOrder, Spiritualized, The Charlatans, Beth Orton, and lots more.

Today I realised that for a scientist, I'm way too hot-headed.
"A scientist is worthless once s/he loses his temper."  Someone told me before.
(The same man turned down my 'hey-let's-do-the-war!' article on Harun Yahya and his followers)
Really?  Isn't it passion that has always been moving scientists to be engaged to their work?  Isn't it passion of scientific working that sent Davidson Black to his death?  Aren't emotions and the love to their work that made Stringer and Wolpoff quarrel?  Scientists are not always thinking machines that do things emotionlessly.
Ah, anyway, I AM short-tempered.
I remember wanting to have a physical fight with Harun Yahya followers who annoyed me so much.
I remember getting very angry everytime I hear the suggestion to Freud something.  The suggestion on which I spat.  Freuding anything is the last thing I would do -- NO, the thing I would never do.  Look, they Freud-ed schizophrenia and Tourette's syndrome, what do we get?  Failures.  Victims.
The problem is that the majority has the tendency to believe what they understand the best, the one easier to comprehend and to trust, in spite of the rightness/wrongness of it.
Well, the majority is NOT ALWAYS right.
I just hope that people in the world will soon wake up from the dream that we are living in a Freudian world, and other dreams created by many philosophers and psychologists/pscyhoanalysts.
Well, I'm not sorry for being someone with mechanistic and empirical point of view!

But I'm sorry, I want to have fun with the Manics tonight.
Hands punching in the air alternately, everybody, and jump!
"PARAP-PARAP-PARAP-PAP-PAP-PAP, PARAP-PARAP-PARAP-PAP-PAP-PARAAA!!!  I LOVE YOU BABY, AND IT IS QUITE ALRIGHT, I NEED YOU BABY TO WARM THE LONELY NIGHT, I NEED YOU BABY, SO TRUST IN ME WHEN I SAYYYY..."

++20.14++

++September 1. 2003.++

NO ONE WAS BORN A MARXIST.
NOT EVEN MARX.
(a graffiti written on the outer side of the wall of a friend's house)

A new layout.  I only hope this works out well.  Just got a little bored with the good old layout so decided to change it a bit.  And if you are searching for the tagboard, it is on the left, a little far below. 

Haven't updated for a long time, I know.  Got many things to do lately, plus a pulled muscle on the right shoulder.  It fucking hurt.  And there's that party last Saturday.  Was very fun, but exhausting.   (And every man--underline that--seemed to be deeply involved in Ragnarok Online!  WhoaH!  Dhieta warned me NOT to play RO, or else she'd have to mark me as another missing friend to the RO world.)  When I got home all I wanted to have was SLEEP.

And how was the WS Blaster attack, eh?  *smirks*  I hope all of your PCs are fine.  Damn worm.

And oh yeah.  I'm very sad to hear about the death of Indra Safera.  He was a nice man, although my judgment is based merely on what I've seen or read.

To new students of Universitas Indonesia, welcome.  I hope you all have the best years of your lives and you will find what it takes to understand life.

Can you believe it?  My dad bought me HIM's album, and he also bought Maroon 5's album for my sister.  I mean, wow!  Maroon 5 is actually Kara's Flower plus a new member!  I've been listening to Kara's Flower all these years and I just didn't realise that it was them!  But Adam has grown so much I could barely recognise him.  He was a cute young boy then.  And Jesse, sweet Jesse.  Ah.  Have only listened to a few songs, but the album seems to be a good recording to play while driving.  Not speeding, just driving.
And HIM?  They're not really good, not really bad.  'Funeral of Hearts' is a very fine heartaching song you could rarely get.  So what's wrong with HIM?  No, there's nothing really wrong.  It's just that THEY GOT THE SILLIEST ALBUM TITLE OF ALL TIME! 'Love Metal'.  What?

Made a black and white picture of Sir Tristram yesterday...  found difficulties in drawing the eagle.  Ah pah bah.  I was one of the most stupid student in our visual art class.  (And that's better.  Imagine if I had chosen the music or dance class like most girls in my junior high did!)

Current heavy listening:  Turn on The Bright Lights by Interpol.  Frengers by Mew.  Make Up The Breakdown by Hot Hot Heat.
Current reading:  The Diary of a Nobody by Grossmith (or should I say Grossmiths?), Le Morte d'Arthur by Malory (still), some manga including Weiß kreuz side B vol 1, Night Robbers vol 3, and Harlem Beat wa Yoake Made vol 2.

Going now.

++08:00++