If you're anything like me, you're retarded ... and that may be because you like to drink ... so here's a few drink recipes you can use to lively up yourself:

Alabama Fizz: 3 oz. gin & 1 tblsp. fine sugar & 2 tblsp. lemon juice. Strain into 14 oz. glass. Fill with club soda.

Aligator: Add 1.5 oz. midori & 4 oz. orange juice. Fill highball glass with ice, and stir.

Amaretto Sour: 1.5 oz. amaretto & 3 oz. lemon juice, blend or shake with 1 cup of cracked ice. Garnish an orange slice.

Amaretto Stone Sour: 1.5 oz. amaretto & 1.5 oz. lemon juice & 1.5 oz. orange juice, blend or shake with 1 cup ice. Garnish orange slice.

Apple Toddy: Pour 1.5 oz. apple brandy in coffee mug. Pour in heated apple cider to fill mug. Garnish with a cinnamon stick.

Apricot Cider: 1.5 oz. apricot brandy & hot apple cider in a coffee mug. Garnish with a cinnamon stick.

Apricot Sour: 1.5 oz. apricot brandy & 3 oz. lemon juice, blen dor shake with 1 cup of cracked ice. GArnish with orange slice & cherry.

Apricot Stone Sour: 1.5 oz. apricot brandy & 1.5 oz. sweetened lemon juice & 1.5 oz. orange juice, shake or blend one cup cracked ice.

B-52: Pour 1 oz. kahlua and 1 oz. irish cream in a rocks glass filled with ice. Float .5 oz. cognac

B.J.: Pour .75 oz. kahlua & & .75 oz. amaretto in a shot glass. Stir. Rim the shot glass with whipped cream.

Banana Colada: 1 oz. cream of coconut, 1.5 oz. rum, 0.5 ripe banana, & 0.5 oz. banana liqeur, blend with 0.5 cup of ice. Use a stem glass.

Banana Daquiri: 1.5 oz. rum & 2 oz. sweetened lemon juice & 0.5 sliced banana. Blend for 30 seconds with ice. Use a stem glass.

Siouxsie and the Banshee: 1 oz. banana liqueur & 1 oz. white creme de cacao & 1 oz. half & half cream. Blend 30 seconds with 1 cup of cracked ice.

Between the Sheets: shake 1 oz. rum, .5 oz. triple sec, .5 oz. brandy & 1 oz. sweetened lemon juice & 1 cup cracked ice. cocktail class.

Black Russian: fill a rocks glass with ice. Ad 1.5 oz. vodka & .75 oz. kahlua or coffee liqueur. color light brown.

Bloody Maria: 1.5 oz. tequila & 2 oz. tomato juice. Add a dash of: tabasco sauce, worcestershire & lemon. Garnish with a wedge of lime.

Banana Colada: 1.5 oz. vodka & 4 oz. tomato juice & add a dash of: tabasco sauce, worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, celery salt, salt, peper, horseradish & angostura. Filla highball glass with ice. Add the vodka last. Shake. Garnish with a wedge of lime & celery.

Banana Daiquiri: 1.5 oz. rum & 2 oz. sweetened lemon juice & .5 sliced banana, blend for 30 seconds with ice use a stem glass.

Banshee: 1 oz. banana liqueur & 1 oz. white creme de cacao & 1 oz. half & half cream, blend 30 seconds with 1 cup of cracked ice

Between the Sheets: Shake 1 oz. rum, .5 oz. triple sec, 1.5 oz. brandy & 1 oz. sweetened lemon juice & 1 cup cracked ice. Cocktal glass.

Black Russian: Fill a rocks glass with ice. Add 1.5 oz. vodka & .75 oz. kahlua or coffee liqueur. color light brown. Bloody Maria: 1.5 oz. tequila & 2 oz. tomato juice. Add a dash of: tabasco sauce, worcestershire & lemon, garnish with a wedge of lime.

Bloody Mary: 1.5 oz. vodka & 4 oz. tomato juice & add a dash of, tabasco sauce, worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, celery salt, salt, pepper, horseradish, & angostura. Fill a highball glass with ice. Add the vodka last. Shake. Garnish with a wedge of lime & celery. Also serves as a substitute for dinner.

Blue Kamikaze: .75 oz. vodka & .25 oz. blue curacao & spash with lime juice, mix together in a shot glass.

Boilermaker: Serve 1.5 oz. of whiskey straight in a shot glass, serve beer for a chaser.

Brandy Alexander: 1 oz. brandy & .75 oz. dark creme de caca & .75 oz. cream shake & strain into cocktail glass, sprinkle with nutmeg.

Brandy Collins: Combine 1.5 oz. brandy & 1 oz. lemon juice & 1 ssp. fine sugar with ice, add club soda, garnish with an orange & cherry.

Brandy Fizz: Comgine 2 oz. brandy, .5 oz. lemon juice 1 tsp superfine sugar with ice. Shake well, add club soda.

Brass Monkey .5 oz. 151 rum & .5 oz. vodka & 4 oz. orange juice, stir & serve over ice in a rocks glass.

Brave Bull: 1 oz. brandy & .75 oz. oz. coffee liqueur. Pour brandy over ice. Add the coffee liqueur. Use an old fashioned glass.