| Tougher Than Leather |
| copyright 1988 |
| Have you ever wondered why Run DMC never made a movie? If you have, I urge you to seek psychiatric treatment immediately. Unfortunately, Run DMC did make a movie. And even more unfortunate, I spent 92 minutes watching this crap. Oh my God, where to begin with this film? It starts with Run (or maybe it was DMC.... wait, which one wears sunglasses and a hat? Run, right? or DMC? Or, shit... it could've been Jam Master Jay... Who in the hell....) getting released from Prison. Ok, definitely akin to the beginning of Blues Brothers. And, like Blues Brothers, this movie does contain some laughs. Unlike Blues Brothers, they are all unintentional. Example: there is a ridiculous conversation about the nightmares one of the guys is having. He tells of how he dreams of some bitch sucking him off, and then biting it off. I don't really know how it fit in with the rest of the movie, and it left me bewildered. Thank God for the simple plot: the boys sign with a record company run by Fat White Guy With Huge Unkempt Beard (or Fwgwhub.... say it aloud, it's fun!). Well, it turns out Fwgwhub is actually a racist, drug dealing, money laundering creep who murdered their good buddy, Runny Ray. The boys go out for revenge, and kill them some fucking whiteys! Everything about this movie is bad. You can tell they made it in a few days with absolutely no money. The acting is some of the worst I've ever seen. The copious amounts of concert footage (Slick Rick, the Beastie Boys, Run DMC) was just pathetic. The movie is just an excuse to display every negative stereotype about women, blacks, jews, gays, and whites that it can while intersplicing it with rapping and fight scenes. It has sometimes been described as a modern blaxploitation flick, but that's really unfavorable to movies like Dolemite and Black Belt Jones. They at least hold some entertainment value. |
| 0 out of 5. Saturated Ass Fat, this movie blows! It has to be one of the all time worst. My God, how shit like this gets made, and how anybody could enjoy it is beyond me. I'd rather milk a Holstein with my toes than see it again. You have been warned. |
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