I FUCKING LOVE DOING DRUGS!!!

I fucking love doing drugs. My favorites include Nyquil, Tylenol, Flintstone's Chewable Vitamins, and GHB.

Here's all the ingredients to make GHB. You might wonder why the bottle of vinegar is half gone. Well, my mom ran out of heroine so she decided to mainline 2 liters of vinegar. Her pee smelled like sauerkraut.

Is this a guy or a girl? Either way, I fucking love cocaine as much as it does. I did so much cocaine this weekend that if you mixed my pee with baking soda, it would've produced crack, or at least a viable substitute.

I haven't seen double fisting like this since I was on the set of one of my mom's movies.

I smell feet. Oh know, Crackie is lighting up again.

What's up fucker? "I'm wasted, blurb blurb blurb." Let's play poker and I'll steal all of your crack money. "Ok, I gots two pair." I haven't dealt yet. "I need some rocks." Go bleed to death in a gutter.

Sergeant Buzzkill proves his high school conselor wrong by doing something meaningful with his life. What Sergeant Buzzkill doesn't realize is that while he is out fighting the "war" on drugs, his wife is at home smoking a blunt because her husband is a fucking douchebag who takes orders from a higher authority which would rather SPEND billions of dollars on fighting drugs instead of MAKE millions of dollars by making drugs legal and taxing the hell outta them as they do with everything else. Sorry about that folks. I didn't mean to bring politics into this page, but I'm high right now which according to the American government, leads to people forming their own opinions about topics not accepted by the government. And we don't want people forming their own opinions now do we? Land of the fucking free my ass. I've got a huge fucking boner right now so I'm going to clean my pipes.

Ahh I feel much better now, and just in time to because the slut in this poster makes me glad that I'm an e-tard. I wish all the sluts who roll in Poland looked like this chick. Everyone would be popping boners left and right, and girls would let you feel their boobies. I fucking love boobies.

I take back my last statement because E will never be cool thanks to this douchebag who enjoys parading his crackheadedness while sucking on a pacifer and rolling his balls off. Thanks asshole, instead of fucking bitches like the one in the above pic, I have to stare at White Trash University dropouts like you whenever I take ecstasy (every day).

You know those things old people use to keep track of their prescriptions and what day to take them on? Well this is what mine looks like. On the days when I take four pills, I usually go murder people. On the days I take two or three, I usually go to the local bordello and fuck a bunch of bitches. Why? Because I'm fucking sweet. What is Funday you ask? Well after taking 21 pills in one week, the days tend to melt together, creating a vortex in the metaphysical universe. And what does one do in this vortex featuring an extra 24 hour day? Well if you're cool like me you take more drugs.

Yuck I must've taken too many pills. No, my mistake, this thing is the crackhead. Go away you fucking filthy troll. Who are you trying to impress?

This just proves my theory that the only reason drugs are illegal is so politicians have something to campaign against for reelection. William S. Sessions fucking sickens me.

I sold these homeless kids, who live down the street from me, a bag of pebbles and told them it was crack. They came looking for me but I had fleed town already. When I came back to town, they were still looking for me. So I gave them some bread crumbs and water. Apparently smoking pebbles can build up quite an appetite. Oh, I forgot, they are also homeless street urchins. Get a fucking family.

Yum, look at all that GHB. I took a bath in 5 bottles of GHB once. No wait, it was Pooh Bear Bubble Bath. Same diff.

Nice mullet you fucking shit-for-brains Bible thumper. You are sooo righteous and everyone else is wrong. Guess what? God hates people like you. He told me when I snorted a half pound of Special K and I thought I was Jesus in an hallucination. I told him that he should smite all dumb buscuit-eating mullet wearing hags like you.

I gave this bitch my "Sigismund Cocktail": 2 parts peyote, 1 part GHB, 3 parts cocaine, and mix in some love. She gave me 10 dollars for my concocsion, but it was worth it because her picture will live in infamy on the internet.

What a great way to end this. There's so many different captions I could use for this guy. I think this one takes the cake: "Who says smoking weed is bad for you?" asks local lunatic Dimebag Dumpkraut. "Without weed, I wouldn't be the grizzly old man I am today, nor would I have 3 successful presidential assassinations under my belt. Not bad for a virgin hermit, eh?"