I FUCKING LOVE HATE MAIL!!!

That's right bitches. You think you know it all, you fucking dipshit? Here's my first hate mail.

Date: Wed, 28 May 2003 19:56:56 -0400
From: "XXXXXXX" <XXXXXXXX@XXXXX.XXXXXXX.XXX>
To: sigismund@crash.to
Subject: Fuck you Sigismund!

Sigismund,
I don't even know where to begin ripping your crappy website apart but
I know that i'd kick your ass if I ever met you in real life. First off
dinosaurs fucking suck. If they are so great then how come there
aren't any left? They are extinct because they are gay and did not have sex
with girls, which, in case you didn't know, is where baby dinosaurs
come from. If there were still dinosaurs around I would kick their asses on
a daily basis. I wish we would have killed your entire country and
family back in the war. When I grow up and rule my country, we will
wipe out all you pansy-ass polaks. I will burn your precious trainyard
to the ground you little faggot.
~Berthold, 13
Zwickau, Germany

Let's see, you fucking Kraut douchebag. I'm boarding a train to Zwickau tonight to kick your ass. After I kick your ass, I will cut off the gonads of your entire family and feed them to you. After your genitalia-packed dinner, I'll unleash Gloatmiel from his cage and he will ensue a brutal anal lashing on your pets. That should teach you. As for your berating of dinosaurs, it is obvious how unintelligent you truly are. Dinosaurs fucking kick ass. Just because they are extinct doesn't mean they didn't rule. The story of their extinction is an unfortunate one. It wasn't a meteor that killed them, it was the damn Eskimos. Forget what you heard about Eskimos being lovable pixies in leprechaun outfits, they are actually bloodthirsty bounty hunters hell-bent on the genocide of reptile species. The kick ass dinosaurs were no match for the Eskimo harpoons, napalm, and casinos. The battle of Dinosaurs vs. Eskimos raged on for thousands of years, but all the dinosaurs couldn't reproduce anymore because they fucked so much in order to regenerate their species. After the dinosaurs stopped fucking, they ended up losing the war like an anorexic girl in a pie eating contest. The last of the dinosaurs built UFO's and left earth to pursue banking and finance on Neptune. Finally, Berthold, I do agree with your Poland bashing, I fucking hate it here. However, Poland is much better than fucking Germany. Why don't you stop sucking your dad's bratwurst, then shine my Dr. Marten's before I connect my steel-toed German clown shoes with your scrotum. Eat shit and die, you fuckass pissant. This is what all of you fucking German boys look like.

Soll ich dir einen blasen? (translation: Would you like a blowjob?)