A Day in the Life of an Adventurer! By Rivvi Eve Based on the Fan comic "A Day in the Life of an Adventurer!" By Rivvi Eve Part One: The Khrima Experience Deep within the halls of a very dark castle, Khrima chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully. "I need an evil plan," He said to himself, "But I can't think of one single thing!" He got out of the tall-backed, evil chair he kept around and began to pace, reciting the word plan with every step he took. After half an hour or so of this, he finally stopped and growled in frustration. "This isn't working!!" Meanwhile, our heroes were preparing for the upcoming battle... "Magus, can I ask you a question?" Lauren asked in her perfect fan-girl soprano-- not high enough to sound whiney, but still high-pitched enough for squealing in delight at every other longhaired pretty boy and his cousin. "Okay, so how come we can't see your scythe? I mean, is it magic, or are you just pretending to hurt the monsters?" On the other side of Magus, Chookie, who was also a big fan of Magus and constantly following him despite the numerous times he found himself taken hostage by the elf-like mage (explaining where he is while not in the active party), grinned and shouted, "Chook-chook!" Magus grumbled. "Stupid fans..." He turned and marched away, pushing the pink fur ball behind him AND Lauren. "That's it! I'm leaving!" Lauren looked down dejectedly. "Aww..." "Chook?" Chookie replied. "You stupid chook... thing! This is all your fault!" Lauren yelled. A few minutes later, she grinned as Chookie flew through the air, courtesy of her Alexander magicite. An hour later, Lauren glared at the K-soldiers in front of her. "What do you want?!" She had decided on continuing her quest, instead of trying to follow Magus, but these guys with cardboard helmets that had big red Ks glued to them had attacked her. "You are to come with us!" One of the soldiers answered. "Yes, come or face the consequences!" The other chimed in. "What are you talking about...? I'm an accomplished mage from Final Fantasy Six! You two are just a couple of dumb soldiers with cardboard hats!" She didn't give them a chance to answer her before casting Fire 3. Two balls of fire appeared in the air, one only seconds behind the other, and fell in a trail of flames before exploding on each of the soldiers. But the two just chuckled evilly. Lauren shrieked. "No! It's a plot hole! My only weakness!" She didn't quite know how it happened, but Lauren awoke in a dark dungeon, chained to the wall. There were two K-guys, though she couldn't tell if they were the same ones who had attacked her, and another man dressed in black and a ponytail. She shook her head at him. "Ticky-tacky, ticky-tacky! What a fashion mess!" "Silence! I am Khrima, lord of..." He paused and whispered to the K-guy next to him. "I did beat the bunny, right?" "Uh... it was a tie, sir." The K-guy replied in a low voice. "Right." He turned back to the Chained Mage and said in his normal voice, "I am Khrima, lord of Evil!" "Oh, sure you-- Hey, wait?" Khrima sighed. "What is it?" "Um, like, you wouldn't happen to want to kidnap me and force me to marry you, would you?" Lauren asked as a heart popped into existence next to her beaming face. "No!! Don't even suggest that!!" Khrima yelled, horrified at the thought of what the children would be like. "Aw, man," Lauren said with a pout, "You are evil." "Oh, I know. Now, don't you want to hear my evil plan?" "Whatever it is, you'll never get away with it!" Lauren cried. "Oh, I think I will. Now--" He was cut off by a beeping noise from his evil watch. "Sorry, it's time for Jerry Springer. I'll have to tell you later." He turned to one of the soldiers. "Stay here and guard her! Or else!" He spun around and marched out of the dungeon with the other K-Guy. "Yes sir, Khrima, sir! I won't let you down!" Lauren rolled her eyes. "Shuddap, he's gone! Dolt!" The K-guy didn't answer, but he did snore. "How cliché can we get, here?!" She yelled. The guard didn't wake up. "Stupid soldier..." "Stupid Albuquerque..." Another voice muttered. Lauren looked up and squealed in delight. "Magus! I knew you'd come for me! You're my hero!" A heart popped over her head. Magus looked at her, the slightest sign of a smirk on his face. "Hmm... well. I might let you out if you grovel for it." "Okay, lessee... I've never groveled before. Please?" "You're pathetic." Magus answered. "Okay, pretty please?" "All right, all right! Just no more groveling!" Magus said as he kneeled down to free her. "Yay!" Lauren beamed, another heart popping in by her head. Later, Magus and Lauren walked away from the castle. "I don't understand why he wanted you in the first place." Magus puzzled. "I think I know!" Lauren chirped, "He's got a crush on me!" She giggled. "Stupid fangirl..." Magus grumbled. Khrima was walking to the dungeon. He paused on the roof as one of his soldier came running up to him. "Khrima, sir! There's a problem!" "What is it? Didn't I leave you to watch the girl?!" "Uh, yes, sir! That's what I have to tell you, sir! She's escaped, sir!" "Stop saying sir, you incompetent-- Oh look, a rainbow!" "Ooo, where?" The K-guy asked, looking behind him. Khrima quickly pulled out a laser gun and shot him in the back. The K-guy fell over, dead, and Khrima continued on his way, humming an evil tune out of key. When he got inside the castle, he found the Silver Haired Guy in Gold Trimmed Black Armor and told him what happened, just so he could brag about the brilliant rainbow trick. "Why did you want her, anyway?" "Oh. Umm..." Khrima paused. "Well, it seemed evil at the time..." A jumbo-sized sweatdrop magically appeared on the Silver Haired Guy In Gold Trimmed Black Armor's head. Part Two: A Bard-Sized Problem Lauren hummed as she walked along later that same day. She stopped when she came to some people who were arguing. "Why did you even put Gildward in the active party in the first place?" A mage dressed completely in blue demanded. "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time." Answered the other, a man with tall green hair. Lauren blinked, then noticed the blond guy, passed out on the ground. He was holding a harp. Next to him stood a girl with short black hair and two white locks framing her face. She suddenly understood what was happening in a flash of realization. "Hey, did your bard get knocked out? Do you need help?" The blue mage looked up, slightly startled. "Oh! Hi. Would you help out? My name is Ardam, and this is Tesla, Karn, and Gildward. We would use a Life Potion, but Karn gave all of our consumable items to an old man for a Silver Shield, and I'm out of MP..." "No problem! I'm Lauren, accomplished mage and fangirl! Nice to meet you!" She giggled. "Okay, let's see... I know, let's try Life 2." "Um, why am I here...?" Tesla wondered out loud. But Karn didn't hear. "Hey, is that a large and rather scary-looking monster over there? EXP, here I come!" He said happily, putting Karashi and Drecker in the party and deserting the others. She began to pray, chanting something in a whisper, and then stepped forward and said, "Oh God of Light, bestow mercy! Life 2!" The screen was filled with lots of sparklies and shinies, and a gentle breeze fluttered through the air. Two cute little angels came down and sprinkled green stars on Gildward, and then left. Lauren opened her eyes and put her hands on her hips, indignant. Gildward was still lying face down in the grass. "It didn't work?! That's it! I'm gonna blast that spoony bard to Kingdom come!!!" "No, stop!" Ardam yelled, jumping in front of her. "You can't do that!" Tesla protested. Lauren stepped back a little, shocked as if she had just come out of something. "Oh..." She giggled. "Guess I got a little carried away, huh?" "A little...?" Ardam and Tesla chorused. "But what are we going to do now?" She wondered. Just then, a rather familiar voice called out, "Tesla! Ardam! Gildward! Help me! Chook-chook!" "Now, now, be a nice little prisoner." Answered another familiar voice, sound just a tad evil. Lauren spun around and immediately put her fangirl soprano to use. "Magus!!" She squealed happily, "I love you! Can I ask a question? Okay, so how come your element is Shadow, but you can use Lightning and Ice and Fire, too? And why don't you have any double or triple techs?" Ardam blinked in surprise. "Is that Magus? He ruled the Mystics... He's... My hero!" Ardam ran over to Magus to ask a question, too. Tesla watched them, confused. They were too pre-occupied to see Gildward stand up and stretch. "Wow, that was a great nap! I think all of my HP is back! Umm, guys...?" Just then, Karn came back, grinning. "Hey, everyone! Don't you want to hear about all the EXP we got?" "Teach us Magus! Teach us!" Ardam and Lauren chorus, while the vampire-like mage grumbled about over-zealous fans. Meanwhile, Gildward was taking the leash off of Chookie, which Magus had dropped while distracted. "It was terrible!" The little pink fuzz ball cried, "He chook me prisoner!" "I must have slept through it..." Gildward replied. Meanwhile, in Khrima's castle, trouble was brewing. The Silver Haired Man in Black Trimmed Gold Armor was being confronted by none other than Setzer. "Steal the Wandering Gambler's sprite will you?" Setzer asked, preparing for battle. "But, it wasn't my fault!" The Silver Haired One answered. "Hah! Yeah, right! Prepare for a taste of Fixed Dice!!" Just in the next room, Khrima was sitting in front of the TV. Various violent sounds crashed and banged, audible through his door, but he ignored it. "Wheel! Of! Ill! Fortune!" He cheered along with the evil game show, "I hope someone gets thrown into the Vat of Boiling Sharks!" End Game: Credits Written, directed, and produced by Rivvi Eve. Broadcasted on the Adventurers! writings page, owned by Mark Shallow. Cast of Characters (In order of appearance): Khrima Lauren (edited Celes sprite by Rivvi Eve) Magus (by Squaresoft) Chookie K-Soldiers The Silver Haired Guy in Gold Trimmed Black Armor Ardam Karn Gildward Tesla Life Angels (by Squaresoft) Setzer (by Squaresoft) (Unless marked otherwise, all characters are by Mark Shallow) Special thanks to: Mark, for making a webcomic the rocks, AND letting me use his characters Squaresoft, for making cool RPGs and letting me use their characters Everyone at the Adventurers! forum for being so nice to me (^^) My parents for home schooling me so I have lots of time to play video games and go on the internet, and then letting me do so for hours (^^) My Typewriter, Tyler, for letting me get all creative-like and thus learning how to write better My best friend in the whole entire world, Lori, for getting me into writing again after the first grade (^^) Launchpad of Silence, for giving me the idea to put credits here My OLDER sister, for lots of things Wes, for liking cute anime No thanks to: Any boy band of any kind, ever Hubert McGregory, whoever the heck he is Vincent (No, not of FF7) My two younger brothers, for being computer hogs all the time and therefore keeping me from doing this for a long time Public Schools, because no one should be thirteen and not know what the Alamo is People who hate me Apologies to: Squaresoft, for ripping them off Anyone out there who may be named Hubert McGregory and reading this All my Soul Bonds The kind people on my Christmas card list this year, I still don't have stamps (O o);; My older sister, for lots of things My YOUNGER sister, for lots of things My parents, for driving them up the wall Anyone who has to put up with my annoying and frequently fangirlish personality (O o);; This fanfic was brought to you by the letter... K! Join Khrima's army and get a free cardboard helmet with our sponsor on it! And the color... Red-- RED ROCKS!! And by fan-letters from viewers like YOU Story based on "A Day in the Life of an Adventurer" By Rivvi Eve This fanfic is copyright (c) 2002 Amanda Lawrence. Unauthorized reproduction get the crap beat out of you with a spork of very large proportions. Contact her by sending an e-mail to GldnJewl@aol.com, but make sure you put, "A day in the life of an Adventurer" in the subject line, or else it'll get deleted. Adventurers! Is copyright (c) Mark Shallow Final Fantasy is copyright (c) Squaresoft