A Visit From Lana Claus
    A Visit From Lana Claus is a story that was told by Lana Star on the Lana Star Christmas Special. It's quite the story, and hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as I did. I had trouble with how I should set it up, so please excuse the crappy arrangement of it, and just appreciate it for what it is--another hilarious bit from Lana Star! Also, you will notice that I got very bored and chose to highlight everytime a wrestler's name appears.
'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house
Everyone was invited,
Except Poison, that louse.

Pink stockings were hung,
By the chimney with care.
In hopes that Lana Claus,
Soon would be there.

With Patti Pizzazz,
Putting gifts by the tree,
Everyone would have,
Brand new pictures of me.

Caged Heat was in prison,
And Thug in the bar.
And I was more beautiful,
Just being Lana Star.

Riot busted up autos,
And Danger was fond,
Of decorating tables,
With Jane Blond.

Jacklyn Hyde was sedated,
And calm as a child.
While Jungle Grrrl frolicked,
And romped in the wild.

Slam Dunk spun her opponents,
And dished out some pain.
While counting his pennies,
Was old scrooge McLane.

The Disciplinarian,
Took her foes back to school,
And The Farmer's Daughter,
Danced around like a fool.

Bronco Billie rode horses,
Harley's Angels rode bikes.
And Ice Cold did,
Just whatever she likes.

Farrah and Caliente,
Both did a dance.
And Mystery burned pictures,
If you caught a glance.

Heather Steele did construction,
Selina did the stunner.
Patti and I beat up on Poison,
Now what could be funner?

Boom Boom did her squash,
And Tanja her kick.
And Jade did a head scissors,
Which was pretty slick.

Roxy Powers threw punches,
And Lotus looked grand.
While Summer and Sandy,
Just played in the sand.

Paradise did the hula,
And I whacked Julie Day.
Terri Gold did the Perfect 10,
To her opponents dismay.

Wendi Wheels revved her engine
With all of its power.
While I got better looking,
By taking a shower.

The Tag Team Tournament,
Started with a blast,
We all want to get,
To that pay-per-view fast.

It was Caged Heat
Against Lotus and Jade
An Asian Invasion,
Has just been delayed.

Then Patti and I,
Took on Tanja and Roxy,
The pair in the pink,
Proved they could be very foxy.

Paradise and Farrah,
Lost to Poison and Ice Cold,
I know we can beat them,
If the truth be told.

The next tournament team,
Will be Sandy and Summer,
If the Beach Patrol wins,
It will be such a bummer.

Still more teams are waiting,
to be given their due.
And go for the championship,
On Pay-Per-View.

Now remember,
Christmas time is a time to rejoice,
And revel in just hearing,
The sound of my voice.

With all my fans cheering,
I'm glad that they know,
I'm the star and producer,
Of the Christmas show.

I've won so many matches,
You know I'll go far.
I'm the top of the tree,
A bright Christmas star.

And my personal assistant,
Has moved up a step.
Now she's Pizzazz,
And forgotten the pep.

So to all our opponents,
Stay our of our way.
Or you could get hit,
With a mirror or spray.

To any producers,
Searching for a new star.
Stay tuned to WOW,
You won't have to look far.


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