| WOW: UNLEASHED RESULTS AND COMMENTARY |
| Randi Rah Rah defeats Jacklyn Hyde Paul What on earth is that?! Randi Rah Rah comes out with a freakin' pirate's eye patch over one eye! Believe me, I was literally trying to stop myself from peeing at this sight. I'm sure Randi Rah Rah is a great competitior in the ring, but my eyes were so watered up that I couldn't pay any attention to the actual match. And that line she gave - "I have my eye on you" ... was that supposed to be a pun? Does Rah Rah have a comedic side? Are we to feel pity? I don't get it! Sure is funny though! Pam I wasn't really excited by this match since I can't stand Jacklyn Hyde, and Randi Rah Rah's not treat herself! This was the first time I had ever seen good ole Randi Rah Rah wrestle, but I felt like I already knew her after listening to her theme song over and over again. Despite my impressions of her based solely on her opening song, Randi Rah Rah sucks, and I don't like her. She has incredible chicken legs and she looks too frail to be a wrestler. I guess that's about it, this wasn't a very exciting match, and it doesn't deserve any more of a review than this! Beach Patrol draws against Farah and Paradise Paul This match was quite the time-filler. The ending was hideously old-school and furthered absolutely nothing plot-wise. Any match that ends in a draw is disappointing. I really hope that we don't see these two start up some feud, because I don't see it going anywhere. I remain unimpressed with Farah and Paradise. Pam How embarassing was this for Beach Patrol fans? I know Beach Patrol aren't the greatest wrestlers in WOW, but come on, they lost to Farah and Paradise!!! Well, they didn't really lose, but as far as I'm concerned, a draw might as well be a loss if you're against crap like Farah and Paradise. Since I hadn't seen Farah the past few weeks, I was hoping they scraped the whole "Persian Princess" angle from WOW....boy was I disappointed... Tanja defeats Jane Blond Paul Much to Pam's dismay, her double-o-sexy Jane Blond was in all of her jobber glory at Unleashed, managing to look bad even against Tanja. The fact that Tanja won with such a simple maneuver just hurts Blond even more. You know, I don't mind Blond's character, I really don't. I think if given the chance, that something could come of her. But as long as she jobs to people like Tanja, Blond is going nowhere. Pam What the hell was that??? I love Jane Blond, but I'm not so dense that I won't admit she's not the greatest wrestler in WOW. Sure she sucks, but give me a break, she freaking lost to Tanja!!! Nobody loses to Tanja! If Jane Blond weren't so damn sexy and hilarious with her crappy accent, I would have to drop her like nobody's business. Is it asking too much for Jane to beat someone? Just once to give me the illusion that she might be good. Nikki Law w/ Kristi Orden defeats Hammerin' Heather Steele Paul I sense a Caged Heat feud in the near horizon here ... either way, I though tthat Law and Order looked pretty good, despite the funny costumes. Is there a reason why there are no good cops in wrestling? I really don't have much I can say about the actual match here. I enjoyed the beat down Law and Order gave Heather after the match though. I hope they keep up that kind of police brutality. Pam Ahhh, Law and Order, you tell me that's not a great name for a tag team! Sure we've only seen Nikki Law wrestle, and she was against Hammerin' Jobber Steele, but they seem pretty good. It was pretty freaking sweet when they handcuffed Hammerin' and smoked her a** at the end of the match! I hope there's a lot more of that frivolous police brutality from Law and Order! One last thought: Is anyone actually surprised Hammerin' got beat? It's so cute the way everytime she enters the ring she has a smile on her face, almost like she thinks she has a chance to win. Boom Boom and Caliente defeat Asian Invasion Paul Man oh man ... Jade has her grandmother come to ringside (you know, the one who taught her everything she knows), and Asian Invasion still does the job. Was that really necessary? I'll give Asian Invasion some credit though, they actually put on some good offense during this match; the chemistry was definitely there between the two sides. I ALMOST thought that Invasion would win. Almost. Pam Good ole Boom Boom and Caliente! What's not to love when they come to the ring? I was kind of worried at some points, thinking Asian Invasion might pull off a win, but in the end, my two honey's came through in the end and smoked some AI a**! Caliente rocks, ans hopefully soon she will shed her jobber status and become a "real" competitor. Would it ever be great if Caliente was the WOW Champion? It'll never happen, but it's nice to dream. Bronco Billie defeats Disciplinarian Paul So ... Disciplinarian's only losses come against Terri Gold and ... Bronco Billie? That was totally ridiculous. This match meant absolutely nothing. I foudn it amusing though how the plotline behind the matchup came AFTER the match had taken place. Very odd. Either way, I'm glad to see that Disciplinarian is involved in a storyline, as she has the potential to put on a good feud. Even against Bronco Billie. But ... WHY would the evil teacher by the ranch?! Pam Don't get me started on this one! How in the hell did my Disciplinarian loose to Bronco Billie?!? It doesn't make sense! It was blood hilarious after the match when the Disciplinarian called out to Bronco after the match and told her she bought the ranch. I don't know where this came from, but I couldn't be happier that the Disciplinarian has a storyline, plus her storyline is the funniest thing going on WOW with regards to Bronco's ranch! I hope this loss doesn't mean the Disciplinarian is headed down jobber lane.... Slam Dunk and Roxy Powers goes to a Double DQ Paul This kind of ending MAY have worked ... if it hadn't already happened twice in the ppv! Honestly, there's more ways to make a match interesting then with screwy finishes. I can't even say anything about this match. It didn't do anything for me at all. Slam Dunk was her normal untalented (wrestling wise) self, and the ending was so lame that I've already forgotten anything but how p*ssed off I was about it. Pam Well, Slam Dunk and Roxy Powers, two of the most exciting wrestlers in WOW, am I ever glad they've got a feud going. It's hard to write sarcastically, but please understand that the previous sentence is dripping with sarcasm. Who in their right mind wants to watch Slam and Roxy duke it out? Give me a break! The most disappointing thing about this match (aside from who the wrestlers are) is the fact that it ended in a double DQ, and now we have to watch a freaking rematch between these two. I know I can't wait for the rematch... Riot defeats Wendi Wheels Paul Riot was DAMN impressive during this match, if I do say so myself. The corkscrew elbowdrop was a very unique move (yes, yes, I know ... some Japanese guy probably invented it, watch me care). It wasn't super-hardcore, but there was enough weapons use involved to keep me interested, and raise the status of both wrestlers. Riot's powerbomb is quite sweet, even when she does purposely miss the tray. Pam Now this is a match I was looking forward to, and one of few that didn't disappoint me with the outcome! I loved at the beginning when Riot came out only armed with her baseball bat, and then Wendi came out with a whole grocery cart filled with goodies. I would like to point out here, that my favourite weapon used in this match was the stupid hose that shot out water. How did they figure that would be an effective weapon? I really liked what Wendi was wearing in this match, it looks a lot nicer than her usualy garage getup. My absolute favourite part of the whole ppv happened during this match and has nothing to do with wrestling: When Riot's shorts got pushed up and her a** was hanging out! I mised the last half of the match because I was laughing so damn hard! Jungle Grrrl defeats Beckie the Farmer's Daughter Paul Great stuff in this match. Both competitiors really impressed me. Not only was it faced paced throughout the match, but the ending was a great innovation. I definitely did not expect to see such a huge ladder brought into the match. I TOTALLY am against any who criticize against the final splash here. Think about it people ... a huge ass ladder, shaking violently outside the ring ... how accurate did you EXPECT Jungle Grrrl to be? The fact that she even attempted such a splash really raises her marks in my books. Excellent effort. Pam I guess it was a good match, but the whole "splash match" thing seemed kind of stupid, I mean, isn't it a given that they would use their splash for the pin since it's the finishing move for both the wrestlers? It was a good match though, and I too was very impressed with Jungle Grrrl's splash from the ladder, and am glad that Beckie got the loss. Caged Heat defeats Harley's Angels for the WOW Tag Team Championship Paul "...and after this match, you can Harley walk!" Classic Caged Heat beginning promo. What impressed me most about this match is that I can't remember Caged Heat doing anything Dudleyesque. They put on a great match with their own skills and moves. The introduction of Vendetta could prove to be interesting. The entire match was pretty fast paced with a lot of neat spots in it. I was quite impressed with the match overall. What can I say? I love Caged Heat! Pam Caged Heat has definitely grown on me, and I can honestly say that I'm glad they won the tage team championship. I really enjoy watching them wrestle because they have a high energy level, and because they're so damn cocky! I've kind of got mixed emotions about Vendetta though, why does Caged Heat need a third wheel? I heard somebody speculate that Vendetta was Sharon Bruneau the mysterious swimsuit competition contestant, but am I the only one who sees a major flaw in this hypothesis?? Terri Gold defeats Danger w/ interference from Riot Paul Gee, I sure never saw THIS coming. This match was pretty boring I felt from beginning to end. I have a lot of respect for Riot for attempting that powerbomb on someone as large as Danger. Good stuff in going for, and making it (albeit barely) on the second attempt. Unfortunately, that's the only part of the match I can even remember. Pam As much as I wanted Danger to keep the belt, it was pretty much a given that Terri would win it back. It seemed kind of short for a title match, but what do I know? This match is one of the best I've seen based solely on the fact that Riot managed to botch the powerbomb on two consecutive attempts! Lana Star (w/o Patti Pizzazz) defeats Ice Cold and Poison Paul Man oh man ... taking out Patti Pizzazz was NOT the right thing to do in this match. Lana simply can NOT carry a match on her own. Because of it, this match was VERY boring to watch. I sensed that Lana would win right after Pizzazz was taken out of the match. It made everything way too predictable. As for the actual shaving of Ice Cold ... wow. That's quite the sacrifice. Pam Let me start off by saying that I am extremely pleased that it wasn't Poison who had to sit in the barber's chair! It was a boring match to watch, but what else would you expect when Lana's in the ring? For all the hype this match was given, it definitely did not perform up to my standards. I know wrestling is not really, but it is totally unbelievable to make us think that Lana Star could beat Ice Cold and Poison on her own, I mean, come on, Lana rarely ever wrestles, and Ice and Poison are pretty good. Thug defeats Selina Majors Paul Well ... I hate to say it, but this could have been much better. First of all, I thought it should have been an over-the-top style cage match for sure. Secondly, there is nothing cool about having the ref taking the biggest bump of the night. What is with that guy? I mean, I respect him for what he does, but does he ask for this stuff? Is he trying to get noticed? All he does is take the spotlight away from the female wrestlers, and I thought it was a horrible spot to have in the match. Both competitors, and Terri Gold for that matter, looked really confused for some reason. I sense that the steel chair was in the wrong place, or something like that. The continuous face smashing of Selina against the cage got boring after while. Terri Gold was acting heel throughout the entire match, and I didn't get it. Now, don't get me wrong, ... the effort was certainly there. Selina has to be respected for that blade job. Her snapping at the end of the match was interesting ... I think. It was a great idea ... but something just went wrong in this match. Pam I just want to say how glad I am that Thug smoked Selina once and for all. Hopefully Selina will figure out that she can't beat Thug, and just drop the whole feud. was it ever sweet when Selina went crazy on Terri's a** at the end, man it was mint! But I have to question how good a champion Terri Gold is if everytime she turns her back her belt is stolen from her. Seriously, Selin had just had her faced smashed in, and one would assume she would be tired and out of breath, but no, she still had the strength to overtake Terri Gold and steal the belt away from her! OVERALL Paul It may look like I didn't enjoy many matches looking at my reviews, but really, I thoroughly enjoyed the ppv. The effort was great. The Brain was priceless (don't listen to Pam and Nathan - he was classic). The splash match really impressed me. In fact, most of the matches impressed me in SOME form. My problems were the lack of coordination with the production and in some of the matches, and how the ref keeps taking the spotlight away from the women. Overall though, a solid first go at a ppv. For a first time, I was impressed. Pam I liked it! It was so much fun to watch since it was the first "new" WOW I had seen for two weeks. But give me a break with "The Brain"! I don't think he said one comment throughout the whole ppv that was actually realated to wrestling. Everything that came out of his mouth was perverse and disgusting. I think I recall him saying something with regards to one wrestler's "spread" in reference to her legs. That kind of stuff should stay on the Playboy channel, and if WOW wants to be considered a respectable wrestling organization, it is imperative that "The Brain" never appear on the show again! |