Get your own Free Home PageIt is important to present a good image of yourself and to state clearly what sort of person you hope to meet through your membership of HEW. We hope that these notes will be of assistance to you.
1. Make a positive statement about yourself. Don't say too much about being lonely ... after all, you would not be taking this method of meeting people if you were entirely happy with life!
2. Try not to be too obsessed with age. It is unfair to lie about your age ... most people will be 'found out' if they make exaggerated claims and it wastes other's time replying to unsuitable age groups. It may be better to give an age range for the person you are seeking, e.g. 30 to 40, rather than state "I am 35" etc.
3. Give an accurate description of your interests and hobbies. A person with a variety of interests is usually able to share things with another and to learn about new things.
4. Make a point of things which are important to you. e.g. You must stress "non-smoker", if you hate this, or dislike (or like) pets, if this is important to you.
5. Give as clear a picture of your background as possible. e.g. Your family may be living with you, which may make a difference to the sort of person replying to you.
6. Be wary of giving details of a financial nature ... we have no way of knowing if someone may be just an opportunist, looking for that "independent, financially secure home-owner"! Helpful statements such as "car-owner" are different, as this may mean that future meetings are easier.
7. Give a brief, personal description of yourself, but again don't exaggerate ... if you say you are slim to make people reply, it is disappointing and embarrassing if they meet someone who is very overweight. We all like to present an image of what we want to be rather than what the mirror tells us! Remember too, that we don't all consider the same things to be attractive features ... what a boring world it would be!
8. Don't frighten off potential partners by demanding too much. Remain open-minded and don't reject someone because they have blue eyes or because they are too short.
9. Don't be shy about putting in an advert. We are often requested just to pass on letters. This is halving your chances of finding a partner.
Once you are on your way with HEW, you may like to consider how you deal with the replies.
Most people find that a simple letter introducing themselves is the easiest way. The best impression will be given if you use writing paper (rather than rough paper), giving details other than those given in your advert. You may prefer to write a number of times or to speak on the phone before meeting. If you are shy about revealing your address, then using the 'phone your box number is the only route you can take. Suggest a convenient time for the person to telephone, giving alternatives in case the time is impossible for them. It is better to chat a few times rather than hold one long conversation as you may run out of things to chat about on that all important first meeting. Ladies are often much too shy to telephone a man first, so letters are most important in this case. Remember though, everyone on the list is probably shy about making the first contact, so someone needs to take the plunge. The worst that can happen is to be told that someone doesn't want to meet you and that should not matter if you don't even know them in the first place!
It is suggested that first meetings should be in a public place. A pub is often the easiest, but other places such as cafes or coffee bars may suit those hating drinking. It is sometimes less embarrassing if you have exchanged photographs as people's descriptions of themselves are often less than accurate. Above all, try not to be late, leaving someone standing or sitting in a public place, feeling very self-conscious. Keep the first meeting relatively short, then if you want to take things further it will be easier the next time. We have heard complaints from men who feel themselves out of pocket if a lady expects to be treated to a meal on a first meeting that is going to prove to be the only meeting!
First impressions are important ... your advert is the first ... so is your contact with an advertiser ... so is that first meeting! The right partner could even be that first reply, so the best of luck from us all.
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